Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Selene felt herself bending toward the duke, as he twirled her around the garden, against her will. She hadn’t wanted to dance with him. In fact, when he had held out his hand to her, she had been tempted to ignore it entirely.

Her body was softening, melting like ice thawing beneath the sun. The anger against him and the hurt evaporated, and now, she was glowing with desire again, blossoming with it. She closed her eyes, relishing the feeling, the blood coursing with it through her veins, the sheer wonder of it.

She forgot where they were, and that they were not alone. She forgot everything but the feeling of being held by him. She felt like they might dance into the sky itself. In her mind, she heard an orchestra, playing sweet music.

Her eyelids fluttered open. He was gazing straight at her, with a look of naked need on his face. Her stomach dropped.

“I am sorry,” he whispered, his voice husky. “I was trying to get to you today, but my visitors arrived early…”

She swallowed a lump in her throat. “You did not have to do that, Your Grace…”

“Of course I did,” he said, in a fierce whisper, his hand tightening on her waist. “Last night… last night was perfect. More than I ever imagined.”

Her stomach dropped again. Desperately, she blinked back tears, trying to keep her composure.

“Selene,” he whispered slowly, rolling the word on his tongue, as if it were something beautiful. “May I call you by your name?”

She hesitated. “I… I suppose so.” She bit her lip. “You do not owe me anything. I understand how these things work. You are a duke—and I am a governess…”

“You are a beautiful, desirable woman,” he growled, his eyes filled with fire. “And I do not regret what we did together. I was dying for you… I still am.” He hesitated. “It seems my desire for you is insatiable.”

They kept twirling, around and around, until she felt quite dizzy. Her heart was so full she could barely breathe. She never wanted this moment to end…

“There you are, Your Grace.”

They both jumped, startled, springing apart. Lady Gwen was standing there, dressed in a luxurious fur lined maroon velvet cape, staring at them.

“My lady,” said the duke, walking toward her. He looked uncomfortable. “I trust you are well rested?”

“Quite,” she replied, in a crisp voice, pulling at her velvet gloves. Her eyes flickered toward Selene. “What an elegant dancer you are, Miss Bomind. One would almost think that you were a proper lady… but not quite.”

“Papa and Miss Bomind were showing me what the waltz looks like,” said Lenore, smiling brightly. “I asked them to.”

“What a poppet you are,” said Lady Gwen, patting the little girl on the head, as if she were a puppy. She turned back to the duke, with a dazzling smile, ignoring Selene entirely. “Will you accompany me back to the house, Your Grace? We could have a sherry before dinner.”

“Of course,” said the duke quickly, offering his arm to her. “It would be my pleasure.”

The lady took it, raising her chin. Selene watched, her heart tight, as they sauntered off together, chatting the whole way, their heads bent toward one another. The magic spell of her dance with the duke had burst like a bubble.

“She is so pretty,” declared Lenore, her eyes wide with admiration. “And kind.”

Selene’s heart tightened further. “Yes, she is a very pretty lady,” she replied, in a short voice. “It is getting late, my lady. We must get you back to the house for your dinner.”

Lenore sighed, nodding. They started walking to the house in silence. Selene tried not to keep looking at the duke and the lady in the distance, but it was as if her eyes were fixated on them.

I do not like that lady… and it isn’t just because she has taken a strange instant dislike to me. I do not believe she is kind, as Lenore believes. I don’t think she really likes Lenore at all. It is all show… to prove to the duke that she will be a good mother to his daughter.

Her heart tightened again. Did the duke admire the lady? Would he succumb to her charms and marry her for the sake of Lenore, if nothing else, so the little girl could have the mother that she sorely needed? And so he might have a son and heir?

If it happens, then it happens. They are well matched in so many ways. I am just a governess. He might say that he longs for me, but we both know there is no future in it. And I must find a way to deal with that.

***

“No!” shouted Lenore, sticking out her chin, in a mutinous way. “I do not want to do boring sums—and you cannot make me!”

Lenore sighed heavily, putting a hand to her head. Lenore had been short tempered and irritable for the entire day. In fact, she suddenly realized, she had been like this ever since the houseguests had arrived three days ago—despite the fact that the little girl had been having shorter days with Selene, as Lady Gwen was prone to making unexpected visits to the library when they were working, and whisking Lenore away, to eat chocolates or cakes in the parlor.

I wish I could tell the lady that she cannot interrupt Lady Lenore’s lessons. I cannot believe the duke approves of it. But then, I would hardly know, as I haven’t talked to him since we danced together in the snow.

She sighed again, gazing out the window. She knew she was being ridiculous. He was completely tied up with his guests, going out for horse rides with them over the hills, and carriage rides to Trenton, to take refreshments in the tearooms there.

And when they were at home, they were playing games, or having singalongs at the pianoforte, or doing a hundred other things that high born people did to fill their time.

We are from completely different worlds. I always knew it could never be. So why am I feeling so lost and sad? Why can’t I forget what happened between us?

Her heart pulsed. At night, when she was trying to go to sleep, she couldn’t help daydreaming about him, picturing him knocking down her door and striding into the room, bare chested and his muscles rippling in the candlelight, falling onto her and raining hot kisses over her body, touching her, making those amazing sensations ripple through her body once again.

Suddenly, Lenore stood up, scraping her chair, executing a curtsy. Selene blinked, rousing herself, turning around. She stiffened, just managing to stop herself from rolling her eyes. It was Lady Gwen. Again.

As she got to her feet, bobbing a curtsy, she studied the lady. Lady Gwen changed several times a day and her clothes were always fashionable and refined—in fact, Selene hadn’t seen her wear the same outfit twice.

Today, she was dressed in a lemon muslin day gown, with tiny flowers embroidered on the bodice and sleeves, her golden hair swept up into an elegant chignon. Selene felt like a clumsy oaf next to her.

Of course, the duke would admire this lady and prefer her company to mine. Birds of a feather flock together, after all. He could arrange a time to see me if he truly wanted to, but he has not.

“How charming you look today, Miss Lenore,” cried Lady Gwen, with a bright smile. “That blue and green gingham gown looks so sweet on you.”

Lenore’s cheeks grew pink with pleasure at the compliment. “Thank you, my lady.”

“Would you like to come and have afternoon tea with me again?” asked Lady Gwen. “I made sure that Cook prepared your favorite cake. You love hummingbird cake, do you not?”

“Yes,” cried Lenore, her eyes bright with excitement. “I love it more than anything in the world!”

Lady Gwen laughed, holding out her hand. “Well, come along then. The tea will be getting cold.”

Lenore took the lady’s hand, and they started walking toward the door without even looking at Selene. Suddenly, her patience snapped. She had been letting Lady Gwen take Lenore away from her lessons for three days now.

“If you please, my lady,” she called, her heart thumping hard. “Lady Lenore was just about to start her arithmetic lesson. Perhaps she could have tea with you after she has finished her work.”

Lady Gwen turned around, blinking rapidly, as if she had just become aware that Selene was in the room. Selene’s face reddened, but she raised her chin, staring directly at her. If the lady thought that she was going to meekly crawl away and back down, she had another thing coming.

“How extraordinary,” said Lady Gwen, arching her eyebrows. “Are you issuing me a command, Miss Bomind?”

Selene gritted her teeth. “Of course not, my lady, I was merely stating…”

“Do not be such a spoilsport, Miss Bomind,” said Lenore suddenly, giving her a hostile stare. “I want to have tea and cake with Lady Gwen. Silly old sums can wait!”

“My sentiments exactly, my lady,” said Lady Gwen, smiling widely. “And why does a lady need to know arithmetic, anyway?” Her eyes hardened as they slid to Selene. “Lady Lenore is never going to become an accountant or a bookkeeper!”

She started laughing. Lenore joined in. Selene stood there, her cheeks burning, glaring at them. She knew she should hold her tongue and not retort—that she should let Lady Gwen take Lenore to the parlor for cake and tea and be done with it—but anger was rushing through her veins now, as fast as quicksilver.

“Are you insinuating that a lady should not be clever, my lady?” she said, her heart thumping hard. “That a lady should rely on her pretty face and simply simper her way through life?”

Lady Gwen’s face tightened. “A lady does not have to be book smart to be clever, Miss Bomind. A true lady knows there are other ways to get what she wants.”

“Indeed,” said Selene, raising her chin higher. “You do not think much of your own sex, do you, my lady?”

Lady Gwen gave a nasty laugh. “I am talking about ladies, Miss Bomind, not common women,” she snapped. “And you do not know how to educate a lady properly, because you are not one yourself… and never will be.” She turned to Lenore. “Come along, poppet. The tea really will be stone cold if we do not leave now.”

Lenore nodded, smiling at her adoringly. They walked out of the room without a backward glance.

Selene sat down, gazing out the window, watching the snow falling from the sky. After a minute, she packed up the books. She knew that Lenore would not be returning from her tea party with Lady Gwen. The lessons were over for the day.

Her heart turned over in her chest. She knew that Lady Gwen was just trying to score points and make herself appear smarter in Lenore’s eyes, as well as assert her control, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating.

And she had to admit it hurt that Lenore was being so hostile toward her and adoring Lady Gwen, when she had put so much work into building a relationship with the girl.

Her heart flipped again. If the duke came and talked with her, she could tell him that she was worried that his daughter was losing valuable lesson time. Lenore was already behind with her education—and she wouldn’t catch up by stuffing herself with cake.

She swallowed hard. She couldn’t tell him. He wasn’t coming to talk with her… or do anything else with her. Clearly, he had forgotten about her entirely. It was as if what had happened between them had never occurred at all.