Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Ian walked quickly down the hallway, rubbing his neck ruefully. He had barely slept a wink the past two nights. His mind and body had been warring with each other—his mind insisting that he must dismiss Miss Bomind for her continual insolence and insistence on challenging him, but his body hungering for her with a ferocity that shocked him.

Employees should not talk to their masters in such a way. My father would have dismissed her long ago. But on the other hand, she has worked wonders with Lenore, who is becoming attached to her, as well…

Suddenly, he froze, hearing the sound of tinkling laughter emanating from the drawing room. He frowned, approaching the room slowly.

His jaw dropped. Miss Bomind and Lenore were there… and they were in the process of hanging Christmas greenery around the room—ivy, holly, and mistletoe. The governess had gone ahead and completely ignored his command that she was not to do it.

A deep rage entered his heart. He was just about to stomp in there and shout at her to tear it all down, when abruptly, he hesitated, gazing at his daughter.

Lenore was dancing with abandon around the room, strands of ivy in her hands, twirling them above her head. His daughter’s face was flushed with joy, and her eyes were shining so brightly, that his heart contracted violently. Tears sprung into his eyes.

How happy she looks. Mary would have been filled with joy to see our daughter like this. She would have danced with her… she would have been decorating this room alongside her.

He blinked rapidly, trying to fight back the tears, trying to contain the unexpected emotion. Strangely, thinking about Mary wasn’t filling him with grief as it normally did; or rather, it wasn’t consuming him. He just saw Lenore, a little girl, filled with happiness, as she decorated the room for Christmas. A simple, heartfelt joy.

He balked. How could he deny her this joy? How could he march into the room and shout and tell them to tear it down? Her little face would crumple. The joy would drain away. And for what? Why was he hanging onto this pointless hatred so strongly?

Mary would tell you that you must let it go. She would tell you that Lenore’s happiness is more important than anything in this world.

He hesitated in the doorway, emotion sweeping over him, so strongly, he could barely contain it. It was an epiphany. He wouldn’t be surprised if a ray of light suddenly burst through the ceiling.

Suddenly, Lenore saw him in the doorway. She danced over to him, still twirling the ivy above her head. When she got to him, she flung the ivy onto the floor, hugging him tightly.

“Papa!” she cried, gazing up at him, her eyes still shining brightly. “Will you help me hang the ivy?”

His heart somersaulted. Slowly, he reached down, stroking her hair. It was so soft, like touching the finest silk.

His eyes flickered to Miss Bomind. She appeared frozen to the spot, her mouth hanging open, looking at him with fear in her eyes.

He looked at Lenore again. “Yes…I will help you hang the ivy, little one.”

Lenore looked overjoyed, hugging him tighter, squealing. He kept stroking her hair, overcome with emotion, before extracting himself, taking her hand. They picked up the ivy.

“Where shall we put it?” he asked. “I think it would look good above the windows. What do you think?”

Lenore clapped her hands. “Yes, Papa! Let us put it above the windows!”

They walked toward the windows. He glanced back at Miss Bomind, who was still gaping in shock.

“You had better keep working, Miss Bomind,” he said, with a half-smile. “There is no time to tarry.”

Their eyes met and held. He felt a pull so strong it was like a rope had just been tied around his heart and yanked from his chest. His loins tightened.

I cannot fight it any longer. I must have her. To hell with the consequences.

With difficulty, he tore his eyes away from her, turning back to his daughter, his heart thumping hard. He knew he had just surrendered to his lust for the governess… just as he had surrendered to decorating the house for Christmas. Now, it was only a matter of time.

***

Selene glanced at the duke and Lenore, still unable to comprehend that he was helping his daughter decorate the room. When she had seen him standing in the doorway, she had tensed, knowing that this time she was going to be dismissed for defying him. She had gone too far… and she knew it.

But instead of yelling at her and tearing down the evergreens in a rage, he had inexplicably agreed to help. She had been so shocked she couldn’t move or speak. All she could do was stand there and watch the man and his daughter hang the ivy. Her mind was whirring.

How is this possible?

Eventually, she shook herself, resuming what she was doing, placing sprigs of holly on the mantelpiece. Her heart was pounding hard. Amazingly, they were talking and laughing together as they worked, just like any parent and their child hanging Christmas decorations.

She forced herself to keep working. After fifteen minutes, Selene looked around, sensing they were not alone. A few servants were clustered in the doorway, shaking their heads in wonder as they watched the duke and his daughter, their eyes flickering to the decorations.

One maid extracted herself from the group, walking into the room. It was Nellie, Lenore’s nursemaid. Selene realized, with a start, that she was here to take Lenore for her afternoon tea. Time had flown.

The duke kissed his daughter on the head. “I have enjoyed our time together, little one.”

“So have I,” said Lenore, smiling brightly, gazing around the room. “It looks good, does it not, Papa?”

“Very good,” he agreed, smiling at her. “But you must go and have your refreshment, now. I shall visit you in the nursery later.”

Lenore beamed at him, then turned to Selene. “Thank you, Miss Bomind.”

“You are very welcome, my lady,” replied Selene, smiling at the little girl, her heart flipping to see how happy she was.

Lenore skipped out of the room with her maid. The gawking servants scattered. They were alone together. A heavy silence descended. Selene took a deep breath, turning to him. Now he would scold her and probably dismiss her. He probably hadn’t wanted to do it in front of Lenore.

I knew the risk I was taking when I did this. But I took it anyway. My position here was less important than giving Lenore the gift of hanging the decorations and seeing her joy… a joy she has never experienced before and will probably never experience again.

She realized, with a start, as she gazed around the room, resplendent now with Christmas evergreens, that it had been worth it. She would leave knowing she had given joy to a little girl. What was better than that?

“We should keep working,” said the duke abruptly. “There are still a few evergreens left to hang.” He paused, gazing at her steadily. “When did you collect them?”

Stunned, Selene couldn’t speak for a moment. “We collected them on our morning walk,” she stuttered eventually. “When we went to visit the robin’s nest.”

He nodded, reaching for another sprig of holly, turning his back to her as he placed it on a table. Selene shook herself, grabbing a garland of twisted ivy and holly that she and Lenore had made earlier off the floor, filled with confusion. What was going on?

She walked to the door to hang it, but couldn’t quite reach the hook, jumping on the spot. Suddenly, she felt a presence behind her… and his arms encircling her, grabbing the garland out of her hands, and placing it on the hook.

Flushed, she turned around, facing him. He still had his arms around her… and she was rammed into his chest. She couldn’t step back as she was cornered against the door.

“Thank you,” she stammered, her eyes flickering to his face, trying not to meet his eye. “I… it seems I am not quite tall enough.”

“No,” he whispered, gazing down at her. “Lucky that I was here.”

She smiled hesitantly. He wasn’t letting her go, nor was he moving an inch. Her mouth suddenly went dry, and her heart started racing. Tiny sparks were flickering inside her like fireflies and a sweet, yearning desire swept through her, so strong that she almost slumped against him.

You must fight it. Push him away and leave the room.

She placed her hands on his chest, to push him away, but the desire was overwhelming her. Slowly, barely able to breathe, she faced him, looking him straight in the eye. She gasped, seeing the same hunger in his eyes. She realized, with a start, that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Their desire was mutual… and it was fierce.

She tried to swallow, realizing, quite suddenly, that she was tired of fighting it. She wanted him to kiss her… and she wanted him to do more than that to her, as well. A vivid vision of her dream when he had touched her body flashed through her mind.

I want him to do what he did to me in the dream. I want him to take me… and show me how to be a woman. I want to surrender to it entirely.

“I know that you feel it too,” he said, in a fierce whisper. “I do not understand this hunger I have for you, only that I feel it and cannot deny it.”

“No,” she whispered, her heart racing harder. “I cannot deny it either. I have tried to fight it, to no avail.”

His eyes darkened. Slowly, he reached out a hand to her face, trailing his fingers over it in a searching way, as if he were seeking answers to the mystery of it. He reached her mouth, tracing the line of her lips. Her lips parted, taking one of his fingers into her mouth, sucking on it instinctively, feeling a bolt of desire strike like lightning through her body.

He moaned, as if in agony, closing his eyes. She realized that something hard and insistent was pressing against her where their hips met. With a shock, she realized what it was… and what it meant.

They both jumped, hearing a noise in the hallway. The duke stepped back, gazing at her, a look of raw, naked need on his face.

“If you truly do feel the same way that I do, then meet me in the library at midnight,” he whispered, his chest heaving. “Until then.”

He turned, walking quickly out of the room. Selene slumped against the door, her hands splayed against the wood, trying to catch her breath, as she gazed around the room.

The desire was still coursing through her veins and her heart was racing faster than a rabbit. Slowly, she sunk to the floor, not even caring if another servant walked in and found her that way.

He wanted her to meet him in the library at midnight. And she knew, instinctively, that if she did, there would be no turning back. She would surrender herself to him. There was no denying what he was asking her to do.

She whimpered, clutching her hands to her head, staring at the floor. There was no denying she wanted to do it—she was aching for it so badly that it was agony. But now that he had left her, common sense was returning, like sunlight peeking through the clouds on a dark day.

I should not go. He will understand and respect my decision. He has been fighting this as hard as I have. He knows that it really isn’t a good idea as well.

If she met him tonight it would change everything. They would no longer be just master and governess. What on earth was she going to do?