Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Selene ran her hands along the leather spines of the books, trying to focus on the titles, and ignore her pounding heart. The clock in the hallway had just struck ten at night and she knew she was courting danger by being in the library again this late, after what had happened last time.

It happened a week ago. The duke will not come to the library this late again. It was just a coincidence we happened to be here at the same time that night. All will be well.

She was looking for books on birds of the district—she had the idea that afternoon to create a series of lessons around them, as Lady Lenore was so fascinated by them. Every day they had been visiting the robins’ nest, talking about when the baby birds would hatch, and what the mother bird would feed them, among other things.

The duke might scorn her methods, but she knew instinctively that she should capitalize on the little girl’s great interest. And so that was exactly what she was doing. But she needed some books to help her…

There was a clatter behind her. Selene jumped, her heart in her mouth. She turned. A ginger cat was watching her with large green eyes. It jumped onto the bookshelf, sidling over to her, staring at her intently, before issuing a strident meow.

Selene laughed, filled with relief, reaching to pet it. “What are you doing here? Are you looking for a mouse for your dinner, puss?”

The cat started purring loudly, rubbing its head against her hand. She started petting it, talking softly to it. She was so engrossed she didn’t hear the footsteps approaching until it was too late to do anything about it.

Startled, she looked up, her heart pounding. The duke was standing in front of her. He wasn’t smiling—he didn’t look pleased. But then, he rarely did.

The cat was startled, too, jumping off the bookshelf and running away. There was an awkward silence.

“I am so sorry,” said Selene, in a high, breathless voice. “It seems I have chosen the wrong time to visit the library, Your Grace. Yet again.”

You knew that you might encounter him here again. Stop lying to yourself. The memory of the kiss has been haunting you so much you can barely sleep at night. Stop pretending that this visit to the library is so innocent.

She swept into a low curtsy, trying to ignore the fierce voice in her head, her face burning. She hadn’t deliberately returned to the library hoping he would come… had she?

“Never mind,” he said, in an abrupt voice, when she rose. “It is a big room. I am certain it can accommodate both of us.” He stared at her intently. “I am sorry I startled you. What are you looking for this evening?”

Selene bit her lip, wondering how to reply. They had ended up in a spirited disagreement over the last book she had found in this library. But surely, he couldn’t be offended by birds, could he?

She shifted on her feet, trying not to look in his eyes. But that just meant she was looking at his lips. The lips that had caused such fire to grow within her…

“Just a book about birds,” she said quickly, trying to smile. “That is all.”

He arched his eyebrows. “Well, then, I have the very book for you.” He smiled slightly. “Follow me.”

He kept walking, perusing the shelves, a slight furrow between his brow as he gazed at the books. Selene took a deep breath, following him, her heart pounding hard, trying not to notice anew how tall he was, how commanding his physique. The breadth of his shoulders took her breath away.

Her heart leapt against her will. She hadn’t seen him at all since he had kissed her. Not once… and it was like she was seeing him afresh… as if she were seeing him again for the very first time.

Has he thought about the kiss at all? Has he thought about me? Or has he forgotten it entirely? It was only a kiss, after all. It would not mean so very much to an experienced man of the world.

“Ah, here it is.” He stopped so suddenly she almost ran into him. He reached out, selecting a book, looking at its spine. “Bewick’s A History of British Birds. This is the first volume.”

He started flicking through the pages with a small smile on his face, before he closed it, handing it to her. “Have a look, Miss Bomind.”

Selene nodded, trying not to drop the heavy book, nor show that her hand receiving it was shaking slightly. “Thank you, Your Grace.”

She took the book to a desk, sitting down, opening it, expecting that he would wander away and search for a book of his own. Instead, he followed her, sitting opposite.

Selene glanced at him, before turning back to the book, trying to ignore him. It was his library, and he owned every book in this collection. She couldn’t tell him to leave… but she was determined he wasn’t going to intimidate her, either.

She focused on the book with difficulty. Her eyes grew wide, taking in the beautiful, detailed illustrations of birds, as well as the accompanying informative text.

“This is wonderful,” she said, looking up at him, before she could stop herself. “I have never seen such a comprehensive book on the subject!”

He smiled, sitting back in his chair. “Yes, it is a superb book. Bewick has become quite the authority on birds. The second volume about sea birds is just as informative.”

“This is just what I need,” said Selene, feeling a stab of excitement, her eyes shining. “Lady Lenore is going to love this! And I can create such wonderful lessons with it…”

“You are planning to do some lessons on birds, then?” he drawled, staring at her intently.

“Indeed,” she said, smiling at him. “Lady Lenore is fascinated with them. We have been going to visit a robin’s nest every morning. She is so looking forward to when the baby birds hatch.”

“That sounds interesting,” he said. “I have always enjoyed bird watching.” A smile stole over his face. “Perhaps she gets her fascination from me.”

Selene tried not to gape at him. He wasn’t arguing with her for once. In fact, he seemed genuinely interested in what she was planning to do.

“Have you taken Lady Lenore bird watching with you?” she asked.

He frowned slightly. “No.” He was silent for a moment. “I must confess I have not been birdwatching since… since her mother died.” He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. “I did not realize my daughter had such a love for the creatures as myself.”

“Perhaps you should take Lady Lenore,” said Selene, her heart thumping hard. “I am certain she would enjoy spending time with you, as well as enjoy searching for different birds and studying them.”

“Perhaps,” he said, looking dubious.

There was an awkward silence. Selene tried to ignore her racing heart.

Selene took a deep breath. “When you take her birdwatching, perhaps you could speak with her about her feelings toward her late mother?”

He bristled, staring at her, as if she had just started speaking in another language entirely. Selene hesitated, her heart racing harder still. She had resolved not to talk with him about this and yet, the subject of Lady Lenore’s conflicted feelings about her mother had just marched off her tongue.

She could barely breathe as she waited for his response.

“I believe that Lady Lenore’s temper tantrums are linked to those feelings,” she continued, in a rush, putting her foot into her mouth even deeper. “That somehow, she blames herself for her mother’s passing, and that makes her push people away…”

“What?” His voice was as icy as the lake outside. “How can you deduce such a thing on so short an acquaintance?”

Selene took another deep breath. “She mentions her mother to me. She asked me what it was like to have a mother.” She hesitated. “She believes her mother abandoned her, that her mother never loved her, and that was why she left.”

“Enough!” roared the duke, banging his fist upon the desk so hard that the book jumped. “I will not be lectured to about my own daughter’s feelings about her mother by a governess! You go too far, Miss Bomind!”

“I am sorry,” cried Selene, standing up, her throat so dry she could barely swallow. “I just thought you should know… that perhaps if you spoke with her about it, it would set her mind at ease… and she would stop acting out in the way that she does!”

He got up, walking around the desk, until he was merely inches away from her. They were both breathing hard, their chests rising and falling. Selene saw a tiny vein twitching in his left forehead. His lips were set in a grim line and his eyes were flashing dangerously.

You have gone too far this time. He will not stand for this. You are going to lose your position.

“You need to know your place,” he snarled. “My daughter is my own concern. You are here to educate her, not speculate about how she feels about her late mother. Do I make myself clear?”

“I… I am only trying to do the right thing by my pupil,” she replied, swallowing hard. “Her emotional state impacts her education, Your Grace. If she is continually having temper tantrums for her governesses, and driving them away, how will she ever learn?”

They were staring into each other’s eyes, neither backing down. Selene knew she should back down, say that she had overstepped the mark, that she was wrong. She should be groveling at his feet for mercy. Lord knows, he was intimidating enough. No wonder people feared him. He looked like a dark avenging angel, glowering with rage.

She raised her chin higher, feeling defiant. It was done now—she couldn’t take it back. The genie was out of the bottle… and beyond her fear, she felt glad now that she had brought up the difficult subject.

“You overstep,” he growled, moving an inch closer to her, so their noses were almost touching. His eyes flickered over her face. “Remember your position here.”

“I know my place,” she retorted, in a furious whisper. “And part of my duty to your daughter is managing her behavior. To make her feel safe and secure… and I truly believe that this is the root of her problems.” She stared at him. “Why is it so hard to just talk with her? To take her to watch some birds and lead the conversation in that direction? She needs her father, Your Grace. And you need her.”

His face was contorted with emotion. They were both so still that she could hear the rise and fall of his breath. Slowly, he reached out a hand, touching her lips, dragging his thumb at the corner of her mouth, so that it opened slightly.

Selene felt herself falling toward him, as if he was ensnaring her in a strange spell, or a web. He was going to kiss her again. How it had progressed to this, when they were so angry with each other, was beyond her. But it was going to happen… if she didn’t do something to stop it now.

Abruptly, she pulled her head back, snapping out of it. She turned, grabbing the book on the desk, rushing out of the library. She didn’t look back.

When she had reached the safety of her room, she closed the door, leaning against it, barely able to breathe. She blinked rapidly, unable to believe that it had almost happened again, despite her best efforts to avoid it.

A tremulous sigh escaped her lips. What on earth was she going to do?