Chapter Twenty-Eight

L ouisa removed her vivid fuchsia dress, since it was the only one she had, and hung it in the empty wardrobe. She was wearing ruffled bloomers beneath a lavender petticoat. Inside, she was seething. Now she was not just angry over Kitty Kelly. How dare the Irish swine keep me captive? It’s just more proof that Abercorn isn’t civilized!

She paced about the small chamber working herself up into a fine froth of fury. She had known all along it was a mistake to give a man everything, and now she was kicking herself for allowing him to consummate their marriage. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and spoke to it. “Giving your heart to a man is like giving a delphinium to a dog. He will simply piss on it!”

Finally she stopped pacing and looked through the window. The afternoon light had started to fade and she realized it had begun to rain. The room was cast in dark shadows, and to banish the gloom she lit her lamps. She was restless but surmised it would not be long before James opened the door. She would neither look at him nor speak to him. Her outraged silence would speak louder than any words.

Louisa jumped as she heard the door open. James came in carrying a dinner tray. She deliberately turned her back on him.

“It’s a damp night. If you feel the cold you may avail yourself of my turf fire.”

When she heard the door close quietly, she swung around. “I’ll freeze to death before I’ll avail myself of your bloody fire . . . or your food!” she said to thin air.

After a few minutes, the aroma from the food was very tempting. She summoned her resistance and it was more difficult than she had first anticipated. She also imagined she could feel the dampness but forbade herself to picture his fire. She glanced about hoping for something to fill the long hours of the evening, but there were no books in her room. The only reading materials were the letters from her mother and sister. She retrieved them from her writing desk and sat down in a comfy chair to read them.

Georgy’s first letter about Teddy Fox’s desertion only emphasized to Louisa how perfidious the male of the species could be. Georgy’s second letter, describing Charles Romilly as tall, broad, and extremely handsome, reminded her of her own husband and it rekindled her anger. The handsomest men are always the most arrogant and selfish. I should have written and warned her about him!

Louisa reread her mother’s letters. Enjoy your honeymoon to the full. Your summer in Ireland will be over before you know it. “It cannot be over soon enough for me!” Then Lu read, I’m looking forward to seeing you and James. I shall be there in less than a month. She put the letters back in the drawer. “There is no need for them to come—I won’t be here!”

She removed her ruffled drawers and kept on her petticoat as a nightgown, and then she climbed into bed. The prospect of returning to Woburn was distinctly unappealing. I don’t fancy being involved in Georgy’s escapades. I was so happy here. Why did Abercorn have to go and ruin everything?

Louisa lay for hours feeling sorry for herself. Suddenly she didn’t like sleeping alone. The bed was cold, but mostly it was lonely. She had become accustomed to lying in the glow of her husband’s adoration and now that he had withdrawn it, she felt like a snowdrop craving the warmth of the sun. She remembered the first time she had shared his bed. She’d had her recurring nightmare and her cries of distress had brought him immediately. He had carried her to his bed to dispel her fear. Then he had rubbed her back to make her feel safe and secure.

If I pretended to have a nightmare and cried out, would he come running? Lu was appalled at her thoughts, not because they were devious but because she would be surrendering and subduing her will to his. Her mind played over his reply to her accusation: If that’s what you think—if that’s what you truly think of me, we can never be husband and wife.

“He said those words to me before. When was it?” It came to her immediately. It was when I accused him of a sexual encounter with Georgy. That proved to be a false allegation. Is it possible I’m wrongly accusing him again?

Lu thumped her pillow and turned over. That’s just wishful thinking. Don’t be so bloody naive! Kitty Kelly admitted that James was the father.

She didn’t fall asleep until early in the morning. When she began to dream, a smile curved her lips because she was in bed with her husband: He kissed her for a full hour, starting at her temples, kissing her eyelids, then trailing his lips down the curve of her neck. His lavish attentions made her feel both beautiful and desirable. She clung to him sweetly, inhaling his male scent. When his lips brushed against her ear, she shivered with pleasure.

I love you, Lu. His intimate whisper awakened her. She sat up in bed and realized it was only a dream. His phantom kisses had aroused her. She lay back down and her body ached for him. When dawn crept through the window, she relived the mornings when he had swept into her chamber and pulled off her covers. Damn you to hellfire, Abercorn! I want everything to be the way it was before . . .

Louisa got out of bed and went to the window. After last night’s rain she was glad to see the sun. At this early hour, the foxes are probably playing on the lawn, but I can only see them from the master bedchamber. She chalked up another black mark against him.

She heard the adjoining door opening and braced herself. Her shoulders slumped when she saw it was Molly bringing her breakfast. “I thought it was Abercorn.”

“Lord Abercorn is up and about already, my lady.”

Lu lowered her voice. “He’s not in the next room?”

Molly shook her head.

“Wonderful! I can make my escape.” She opened the wardrobe to get her dress.

“You can’t escape, my lady. I would be sent away in disgrace for ignoring Lord Abercorn’s orders.”

“What orders, pray?”

“I am to see to your needs, but under no circumstances must you leave your boudoir until . . .”

“Until what?” Lu demanded.

“I don’t like to say, my lady.” Molly looked pained beyond bearing.

“I order you to tell me what he said.”

“He said . . . until you come to your senses and beg his pardon.”

“Beg? Beg? I’m not in the habit of begging men for anything, especially not men who sow their bastards about the country.”

Molly gasped at her accusation. She quickly changed the subject. “You didn’t eat your supper, my lady.”

“I refuse to eat until I am freed from my prison!”

Molly bobbed a curtsy, set down the breakfast tray, and took away her dinner tray.

The bacon smelled delicious. Lu thought of the dinner she had left untouched. That was an exercise in futility. The Irish devil won’t even know I’m starving on principle. She abstained as long as she could; then she lifted the covers and devoured the lot.

Louisa decided that while James was out, she would go into the other room and get some of her clothes from the wardrobe. When she turned the knob on the adjoining door and found it locked, she was outraged. Molly locked me in!

She began to pace her boudoir to rid herself of her choler. She stopped at the window and looked down into the courtyard. She was shocked to see James and Kitty in deep conversation walking toward the stables. She felt a stab of jealousy. “Where the devil is he taking her?”

She stood staring after them until they disappeared. “Lying swine. You told me you loved me. How can you do this to me?” Slowly, it came to her that the only time James had told her he loved her was in her dreams. She searched her memory and could not recall him vowing his love. Her heart sank. She began to turn from the window and saw Kitty Kelly. She was returning to the house without James. Kitty turned and waved, and Lu realized that James must be riding out somewhere alone.

She got a letter opener from her writing desk and tried to pick her boudoir door lock. She realized it wasn’t going to work and moved across the room to try the lock on the door that adjoined their bedchambers. She concentrated hard, trying over and over, but her endeavors were unsuccessful. She threw herself down into a chair feeling thwarted and frustrated. She cursed her husband for being the author of all her misery. On such a lovely sunny day, she wished she could be swimming in the lakes. Instead, she was locked up with absolutely nothing to occupy her, save her thoughts.

Her memory flew back to the day James had rowed her up the three lakes and back again. It was such a perfect day. Her memories moved on to the day he had taught her to swim, and how patient he had been with her. I put my full trust in him . . . that’s why I learned so quickly.

When I let him make love to me, it was a huge leap of trust for me. How can he accuse me of not trusting him? The answer came back immediately. Because you accused him of fathering Kitty’s baby . She said that James was the father, yet he was a picture of outraged pride when I threw the accusation at him. What was it he said? “Don’t concentrate on whether you can trust me, Louisa. Trusting yourself is the key . . .”

A phrase floated to her from her girlhood Latin lessons: Chi ama, crede . . . Who loves, trusts . . . “James was telling me that if I loved him, I would trust him.”

Lu sat quietly, digesting her thoughts.

I do love him! I love him with all my heart!

Then why don’t you trust him?

Because he’s a man.

But James has proven to you over and over that he is different from other men. What if Kitty is lying and Abercorn is not responsible? Girls have been known to lie about inconvenient pregnancies. I myself lied about a pregnancy.

Louisa opened her window and made her bed. Then she poured water from her jug into one of the golden bowls that had once belonged to Josephine Beauharnais. The water was cold, but as she washed, she thought about the empress and Napoleon Bonaparte. Were they in love? Mother told me he wrote Josephine impassioned, reproachful love letters, but I warrant he never fully trusted her.

Louisa thought she heard voices and moved to the window. She caught a glimpse of James and the eldest Herdman brother as they left the courtyard and disappeared around a corner of the house. He’s been to the mill. The Irish devil is conducting business with never a thought for me, holed up here in my prison. I shall go mad if I am confined much longer!

Lu thought of her private journal. I shall put the venom I am feeling down on paper so I won’t soon forget it. She went to the wardrobe, opened an old shoebox, and took out her diary. Then she opened her jewel case and retrieved the small key.

When she opened it and read the last entry, she blushed. She had written about her feelings and emotions the morning after she and James had made love. The pages were filled with the outpouring of her heart:

I never realized how I hungered for my husband’s love and adoration, yes, and I freely admit I was starving for his body. Last night was rapturous and this morning he gave me proof that he cherishes me. I have trusted my heart to his keeping and know that I will never regret marrying my Irish lord. From now on, my journal will be one long love letter to him. When I think of James, my very breath stands still.

Louisa was caught up in the heartfelt words she had written. The venom she was harboring melted away like snow in summer. She closed the book, locked it, and put it back in its hiding place.

Through the open window she heard a female voice and hurried across the chamber to see who it was. She saw Kitty walking through the courtyard flanked by Abercorn and Herdman. The trio was heading toward the stables. Where the devil are they going? They must be taking her to see the mill. Suddenly Louisa was filled with concern. Kitty shouldn’t be riding in her condition. If it happened at Christmas, she’s almost seven months along. Then she realized that Abercorn would take the carriage. Louisa sighed. James didn’t even look up at my window.

To pass the time, Lu picked up an emery board. Her nails were in need of repair since she had planted her herb garden with the cuttings the tenants’ wives had sent her. As she worked on her nails, thoughts of Kitty filled her mind. She must have been frightened to death when she discovered she was with child. Just as Georgy was. Being alone in London, unable to work, must have been extremely daunting. Lu didn’t know whether she felt more pity for Kitty or for herself.

When the afternoon light began to fade, Lu went to the window to watch the sun go down. She heard the sound of boots and looked down. She saw James coming back from the stables, and he was alone. She hadn’t expected Herdman to return, but it seemed odd that James had not brought Kitty back to Barons Court with him. Her mind ferreted out an explanation that made sense.

“O my God. The eldest Herdman brother is called James !” Lu stood at the window, stunned at the revelation that had just dawned on her. “It couldn’t be,” she murmured.

“Yes, it absolutely, positively could be! When I asked Kitty if James was the father and she said yes, she wanted me to think it was my husband.”

Louisa crossed over to the mirror so she could have a serious conversation with herself. “No wonder Abercorn was offended to his very core when you accused him of being the child’s father.” She bit her lip. “Judas Iscariot, what have you done, Lady Lu?” She had done James a great injustice and felt remorse, but she searched for an excuse. “The Irish devil could have told me!” Then she realized his towering pride would prevent him from issuing denials. James expects, nay demands, trust from his wife.

Lu raised her chin at her reflection. He may not be guilty of fathering her child, but the Irish devil is certainly guilty of imprisoning me! If Abercorn thinks he’s going to get off scot-free, he’s in for a bloody revelation!

When she heard movements in the adjoining bedchamber, she gathered her indignation. She would go on the attack the moment he opened the door. She saw it move but was thrown off kilter when Molly came in carrying her dinner tray.

Molly set the tray down, along with some bed linen. “I brought you fresh sheets, my lady, but I see you’ve already made your bed.”

“Thank you, Molly, I’ll put them on in the morning.” Lu nodded toward the other room. “Is Abercorn in there?”

“Yes, my lady.” Molly hesitated. “His lordship sends you an invitation.”

“An invitation?”

Molly lowered her eyes. “He says . . . if you are ready to beg his pardon, he is ready to listen.”

Louisa gasped. “You may tell his lordship that I shall be ready to beg his pardon in a hundred bloody years!” She dug her fists into her hips. “Be sure to lock the door to ensure Abercorn’s safety. I’m demented; it will take me that long to regain my senses.”

Molly retreated through the adjoining door and closed it quietly.

Lu ran to the door, put her ear against it, and heard Molly say, “I’m sorry, my lord, but Lady Abercorn says . . .”

“Yes, I heard what she said, Molly. Thank you, that will be all,” Abercorn replied.

That won’t be all. Not by a hell of a long chalk!

Lu pulled up a chair and thoroughly enjoyed every morsel on her dinner tray. Full as a tick, she rubbed her belly. Ah bliss! I must remember to give my compliments to Barons Court’s cook.

An hour before dawn, Louisa took the sheets from her bed and took them to the window. She added the pile of fresh sheets Molly had brought. She tied them together with tight knots and secured one end to a sturdy bedpost.

Lu removed her petticoat and, clad in her busk and ruffled drawers, climbed onto the windowsill, gathered her confidence, and then began to slowly and carefully climb down the sheets. If I don’t look down, I’ll be all right. She knew her self-assurance was buoyed by a thirst for revenge. She was looking forward to her encounter with her husband, and she intended to give as good as she got.

Lu experienced a moment of panic when she got to the end of the sheets and found she was still ten feet from the ground. She closed her eyes, crossed her fingers, and jumped. She offered up a prayer of thanks when she landed unhurt in a flowerbed.

She was pleased as punch with herself. Now comes the tricky part . She knew that avoiding the servants would take ingenuity, although not many would be up this early. She entered Barons Court through a back door. It was a food storage room next to the kitchen. She picked up an apple from a basket and listened at the door. When she heard nothing but silence, she slowly and cautiously opened the door and crept up a back staircase. Then she went into the guest wing and entered one of the unoccupied suites. She stretched out on the bed and waited.

James opened his eyes and his first thought was the same one he’d had yesterday and the day before. Damn, I hate waking up and not finding Lu in bed beside me. It took such a hell of long time to get her to share it with me, and before you know it, it’s separate bloody rooms again. I must be raving mad to put up with it.

He threw back the covers and swung his feet to the carpet . Since Kitty is no longer in residence, and the bone of contention has been removed, there is no sodding reason why I should put up with it. I’ll settle this trust business once and for all—even if it means a knockdown, drag-out fight!

James reached for his robe but then changed his mind. He’d have more authority if he was dressed and booted. He donned shirt and riding breeches, and then pulled on knee-high boots. He was no sooner finished than Molly was at his door with a breakfast tray to take through to her mistress.

“Thank you, Molly. I’ll do the honors this morning.” He saw the look of relief on the young maid’s face and watched with amusement as she made herself scarce. He unlocked the adjoining door between their bedchambers and then, balancing the tray, he kicked the door with his foot and watched it swing open. He stepped through and found the chamber empty. “Jaysus!” James abandoned the tray and rushed to the window. A certain amount of relief swept over him when he saw Louisa was not lying in a heap below the string of tied-together sheets.

Then his heart plummeted. “She’s gone!”

James took the stairs two at a time, shouting to the servants as he descended. “My wife has left the house! Has anybody seen her?”

He rushed outside and looked up at her boudoir window. His heart constricted. It’s such a long drop. I warrant she hurt herself. My God, what if she’s injured and crawled away somewhere? James was covered with guilt. It’s my fault. I never should have locked her up when I know what a reckless little bitch Lady Lu can be when provoked.

Any lady with enough guts to perform at Covent Garden incognito has enough pluck to throw caution to the wind and climb out a bloody second-story window.

James ran to the stables and asked the grooms and horsemen to search the grounds of Barons Court. “She could be injured. Look in the woods when you’re done scouring the park.” He went to the paddocks where the horses were grazing and searched meticulously. James found no sign of her, and the stablemen reported they had no luck.

With a heavy heart, James returned to the house. He summoned Mrs. Connelly and the indoor staff. “No one can find Lady Abercorn. Would you be good enough to search Barons Court for me? There are so many rooms; she could be anywhere.”

After two hours the staff assembled in the rotunda. No one had anything to report. Lady Abercorn had simply vanished.

“Thank you all for your help.” His face was grim; his mood had gone from optimistic to hopeless. He went into the great hall and leaned his head against the black oak mantel of the stone fireplace. Louisa has left me. She’s doubtless on her way back to England. Lu has neither clothes nor money, but she won’t let that stop her. Perhaps she went to see Rowan Maloney for travel money.

James summoned a footman. “Would you have one of the grooms ride into Omagh to see if Rowan Maloney has seen Lady Abercorn? Thank you.”

James didn’t feel optimistic. Lu could have climbed out the window last night. She could be long gone by now. Dear God, I love her so much; I can’t bear to lose her. Abercorn made his decision instantly . The stubborn little wench has gone home to Woburn, so I have no choice. I’ll simply have to go and get her and bring her back to Ireland where she belongs! A sudden thought hit him. What if she refuses? His jaw clenched along with his fists. I’ll drag her back by the bloody hair if I have to!