Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Ozen hated that he caused Avery so much distress. He wanted to explain, but he couldn’t do that with Avery shaking and sobbing in his arms. He wouldn’t hear him properly. Instead, Ozen scooped him off his feet and brought him to bed. Ozen laid down beside him, much like that night so long ago when he accidentally slept over for the first time. Except this time, Avery was awake and upset, and Ozen needed to reassure him before he selfishly threw out words like mate.

“Avery… I’m so sorry. I never meant to ignore you. You’re right, you deserved to be treated better than the way I’ve been treating you. I can’t guarantee I’ll be perfect going forward, but I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be better.”

Avery’s tears subsided a little, and he looked up at Ozen with a frown. “Your… life?”

Ozen hummed, carding his fingers through Avery’s messy curls. He must’ve been running his fingers through them, because they were more wild than normal. Ozen smoothed them out, trying to settle his unhappy mate.

“It’s a long story, and I fully intend to share it with you, but I need you to know first and foremost that you aren’t obligated to agree to any of this. It’s complicated and messy, but you still get a choice in the matter. It’s not permanent.” Yet. Once Ozen bit him and tasted his blood, there would be no going back. Not for him, anyway. And when they shared blood, Avery would change as well. His lifespan would match Ozen’s, and he’d gain a little more insight into Ozen’s emotions. Ozen did some research on the trip home. There weren’t only benefits for the incubus during mating; their mates gained things as well.

“What… What are you talking about?”

Ozen studied the beautiful man beside him. Avery gave no indication that he understood or fully agreed with Ozen’s comment about him not being obligated. He wouldn’t, either. Not until he knew the whole story. Even Ozen knew that. So, despite not knowing how he’d react or what the outcome would be, Ozen told him the truth.

“You’re my mate, firefly. It’s why I’ve been so addicted to you. You’re my perfect match.”

Avery looked dumbfounded, staring up at him like he’d said something truly unbelievable. It was a little disheartening. Ozen had hoped Avery felt the same way that he did, that his feelings weren’t one-sided, but that was a little too much to ask. Especially after the last two weeks.

“I understand if this comes as a shock. It was a shock to me as well. Again, you’re in no way obligated to agree to this. If you’d rather cancel the contract and move on, I…” He trailed off with a frown. “I can’t say I’d be happy to do it, but I would understand. To my knowledge, humans don’t have mates. This won’t affect you.”

“W-Wait… I’m your– You’re my– How–”

He looked confused, his wide eyes searching Ozen’s face for answers to questions he couldn’t quite get out. Ozen offered him a small smile.

“I know. It’s a lot to process. You’re in no rush to make any decisions. But I’ve been unfair to you these past few weeks, and you deserve to be treated better than you have been. It had nothing to do with anything you did. It was entirely on me, and I want to make amends for that.”

He had to fight the urge to kiss away the confusion on Avery’s face. He refused to push his agenda in any way. He was hungry, but just being in Avery’s presence helped with that. He’d survive at least a little while before bringing up a feeding.

“H-How do you know?” Avery finally asked, his voice trembling ever so slightly.

“There were things happening whenever I was with you that confused me. I went home to confer with my family on the matter. It was my grandfather who told me what those things meant.”

“What things?” Avery asked.

Ozen knew he’d need to explain this carefully. He took a deep breath, locking eyes with Avery so he could see the sincerity in Ozen’s expression.

“From day one, feeding from you made me feel stronger. None of my other feeders ever satisfied me like you can. I’ve actually made plans with the research team to help with some of their development because I seem to be overflowing with magic since I’ve started feeding from you regularly. I’m also drawn to you in ways I couldn’t explain. Not once since its creation have I ever felt the urge to deviate from the terms of the contract. Not until I met you.”

“Not even with Tristan?”

There was a hint of jealousy in Avery’s tone that thrilled Ozen to no end. He wasn’t sure how Avery found out about Tristan, but if Avery did agree to become Ozen’s mate, there would be no secrets between them. He had no wish to lie to his mate.

“Not even with Tristan. What do you know about him?”

Avery shrugged, looking a little embarrassed when he admitted, “Not a lot. I overheard your friends talking about him. He sounded important.”

Ozen hummed thoughtfully. “He was, in a way. He was the only other feeder I’ve had in my lifetime who respected the contract. He maintained professionalism and always showed up when I needed him. He set the standard for what I wanted in a feeder.”

“What happened to him?”

“He left,” Ozen replied easily. “He found someone who made him happy and wanted to be in a relationship with them. He was polite enough to wait until the end of his contract term, but I wasn’t going to stop him from finding his happiness to keep him as my feeder. Our contract ended, and he got married a few months later. Last I heard, they’ve adopted a set of twins and moved to the suburbs.”

“Do you miss him?” Avery whispered.

Ozen was quick to reassure him with a shake of his head. “No. Before you came along, I missed the ease of our working relationship, but I had no feelings for the man himself. I’m happy for him. He was a kind and thoughtful man, and he deserved to find someone who could provide him with what he needed. That never would have been me. There were no feelings involved with either of us. Nothing like the way I feel about you.”

Avery sucked in a sharp breath, but Ozen couldn’t tell yet if the barely banked hope in Avery’s eyes was wishful thinking or not. He could be imagining it because of his own wants.

“I do have a confession to make,” Ozen continued. “Up until your weekend at my home, I’d been curious but not overly concerned about what was happening between us. I still would have put in the effort to figure it out, but the mistake that I made sent me into a panic and I went home looking for answers. I wanted to protect you, to prevent it from happening again, but I didn’t know how.”

Avery frowned. “What mistake?”

Ozen dreaded admitting it. While technically what they did together was consensual, Avery only agreed to those acts as a way to feed him. He never agreed to do anything like that for fun. It still felt wrong.

“I…” He grimaced and forced himself to tell the truth. “You weren’t wrong when you mentioned not feeling my magic that night. I never used it.”

“You didn’t feed?”

Ozen shook his head, shamefaced. “No. I lost myself in the pleasure of the act and completely forgot. I’m sorry. I know you never agreed to that outside of feeding. I wasn’t even aware of it until you mentioned it. I promise, I never would have–”

Avery put his fingers over Ozen’s lips, silencing him. His face was pensive, and Ozen held his breath, worried this would be the final straw to push Avery away. His stomach clenched and fear filled his veins with ice. He didn’t want to lose Avery. He’d do anything to take it back.

“I’m not angry with you about that.”

Shock hit Ozen hard, and he wanted to ask questions, but Avery’s hand was still over his mouth.

“I mean, it’s a little hot that you were so into it that you forgot to feed. If you would’ve told me, I might’ve suggested trying again so you ate, though. Was that why you were so wild when you showed up in the middle of the week? You were starving again?”

Ozen nodded once. He still felt ashamed about that as well. It was a rough feeding and Ozen was so worried about the effects of it, he sent his friends to watch over Avery because Ozen himself was too ashamed to face him.

“Well, you couldn’t really help that. You said you didn’t even realize until afterward. I’m more angry about what happened after your so-called mistake.” Avery’s frown deepened and hurt filled his voice. “You were really dismissive, and then you disappeared without a word. I thought I’d done something wrong, or maybe I overstayed my welcome. And when you didn’t come back, I was sure you wanted nothing more to do with me.”

It pained him to hear Avery’s side of it. He hated himself for making such a sweet man feel that way. But he stayed silent, letting Avery speak his peace.

“When you showed up in the middle of the week, I was really confused. You didn’t offer me any explanation and–”

“I couldn’t,” Ozen interrupted, gently pulling Avery’s fingers away. “I wasn’t… all there that night. I made the mistake of taking my father’s advice and trying to feed from someone else. It backfired quite severely. It wasn’t until after we were finished that I was clear enough to realize what I’d done.”

“You tried to feed from someone else?” Avery murmured, pain etched across his face. Ozen cupped his cheek, desperately wishing he could take back the last week entirely.

“I never meant to hurt you. I was in a panic. I thought I’d become addicted to your energy and that I wouldn’t be able to let you walk away when your contract was up. I never wanted to force you to be with me. I thought if I made myself feed from someone else, I’d break the cycle and keep you safe from me.”

“I don’t want to be kept safe from you,” Avery argued. “You should’ve talked to me about it. I–” He swallowed and Ozen was surprised to see the shame on Avery’s face that matched his own. “You weren’t the only one who broke the contract. I have the biggest stupid crush on you, and I was trying to hide it from you for weeks. I didn't want you to fire me for being unprofessional and be left without a feeder again, so I pushed the feelings away. Every jealous, hopeful, needy feeling got shoved down. But when you disappeared, it wasn’t courtesy that upset me. I missed you and it hurt my feelings when you didn’t even call to explain things to me.”

Hope swelled in Ozen’schest, and his heart hammered uncontrollably. “You… You have feelings for me?”

Avery flushed bright red and deflected, glaring at the wall. “Well, you have feelings for me, so it’s only fair.”