10. Sarilian

ten

Sarilian

Sarilian crept from his quarters in Daybreak, already anticipating his reunion with Malorg. The moody Infernal might not always be the easiest company, but it never failed to melt Sarilian's heart when Malorg looked at him like nothing else mattered, his hard expression softening and his iron eyes glinting with affection.

In the interminable days between their visits, Sarilian spent long hours pining for Malorg's touch, remembering how it felt to have Malorg's icy fingers trail down his side while the Infernal's cool lips traced his collarbone like the gentle kiss of a breeze. Yet it was more than just physical attraction that kept Sarilian returning again and again to the Dusklands.

Beneath his sharp edges and deadly instincts, Malorg cared. Not only about duty and service like the Celestials or personal advancement like the Infernals. He cared about making a difference—about helping others, even if he'd forgotten to nurture his own hope somewhere along the way. His near- frustrating devotion to Sarilian's safety offered proof enough of that.

Now, Sarilian was determined to help him . Not because he felt sorry for the Infernal, or because he wanted to keep exploring their combined magic, or even because it was the right thing to do, but because in only a handful of months, Malorg had become the single most important thing in his life.

Shouldn't the Covenant be the most important thing in your life?

A glimmer of guilt threaded through him as he checked the passages outside his quarters, relieved to find he was alone. While there wasn't technically anything wrong with his secret excursions so long as he kept up with his other assignments, he had no illusions about the uproar it would cause if anyone discovered what he and Malorg were doing. The fewer people who suspected anything amiss, the better.

Which was why he froze when he entered the main dawnbeam waypoint in Daybreak and found Darius, Dawn Aspect of Justice, waiting there with a grim expression on his face.

"Sir!" He snapped to stiff attention. "What a pleasant surprise. I was just, um, about to—"

"Save it." Darius' amber eyes narrowed on him. "Spare me whatever half-baked excuse you're about to offer. Just tell me one thing: does whatever you're doing put the rest of us at risk? Does it betray your oaths or your duty?"

Sarilian's eyes widened as he quickly shook his head. "No! Of course not, sir!" His shoulders slumped. Time to come clean. "To be honest, I was—"

He snapped back to attention as Darius raised a hand to cut him off. "I already told you, save it. I don't want to know."

"But—"

"So long as it doesn't harm anyone else, what you do in your own time is your own business." Darius grimaced. "No matter how much I might dislike it."

Remembering how Darius had scrutinized the duskflame marks on his armor after Malorg saved him from those voidspawn, Sarilian winced. He knows . Or at least, suspected.

It should have been a relief that someone else had discovered his secret and seemed like they could be trusted to keep it. Yet, all Sarilian felt in the face of the Aspect of Justice's obvious disapproval was shame.

"I'm sorry, sir," he said, bowing his head.

Darius' grim expression eased a hair. "I can't pretend to understand why you'd want to spend so much time with a…with one of them . But I'll reserve my verdict and give you the same lecture I would give any of my pupils I caught doing something reckless: be careful and don't allow anything to cloud your judgment. Whatever else you find to occupy you, the Covenant must come first. It is our sacred duty, and to forsake it is to forsake ourselves."

"Of course, sir! My duty to Allaria always comes first." Even as he spoke the words, a part of him hesitated, the same question he'd had since his first meeting with Malorg lingering.

If I had to choose between him and the Covenant, which would I pick?

Afraid of the indecision Darius might catch on his face, Sarilian averted his eyes. After a lengthy pause, the Aspect sighed. "Glad to hear it. Because only the truly dedicated have a chance to secure a coveted spot on the Dawn Council. Someday, such a seat could be yours—perhaps even mine. But only if you want it with all your being. As you were, soldier."

Gratitude flooded Sarilian at the dismissal. With a quick nod to Darius, he hurried past the Aspect to one of the platforms that filled the high-ceilinged chamber. Their warm glow suffused the air, reflecting off the mirror-like silver walls and floor. From here, he could travel via dawnbeam to any linked waypoint within the Dawnlands—including the one nearest to his agreed meeting spot with Malorg.

Sarilian risked a parting glance and found the Aspect of Justice still standing in the doorway, watching him with a pensive frown. Swallowing another tremor of guilt, Sarilian issued a crisp salute and activated the pad.

As he rode the dawnbeam to the outskirts and slipped over the border into the Dusklands, he couldn't shake Darius' words from his head. Because like it or not, his mentor had a point. Malorg may have long since forgotten his duty…but Sarilian hadn't.

"What's got you so worked up?" Malorg asked, combing a hand through Sarilian's short golden hair.

Sarilian grimaced and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'd rather not discuss it."

"Come on," Malorg pressed, giving a throaty chuckle when Sarilian burrowed his face into Malorg's shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," Sarilian sighed. "It's just…"

He shifted positions, settling with his back leaning against Malorg's chest like a frosty cushion. Malorg obligingly wrapped Sarilian in a cold embrace, resting his hands on Sarilian's stomach. Malorg's fingers sketched little patterns on Sarilian's skin that mimicked the Infernal's tattoos.

The affectionate gesture lent Sarilian the courage to continue. "Do you ever wonder if what we're doing is right?"

Malorg's fingers paused where they'd been stroking Sarilian's belly, his body going rigid. Sarilian held his breath, waiting to see how Malorg reacted. Relief trickled through him when Malorg relaxed and resumed his stroking.

"Yes," he whispered, so softly Sarilian could barely hear the words. "I worry that I'm bad for you—that I'll lead you astray. That being with me will inevitably cause you pain."

Emotions coursed through Sarilian, too jumbled to extract as he recalled Darius' earlier warning. He threaded his fingers with Malorg's. "You could never hurt me."

"Not intentionally, perhaps. But what if someone finds out about us? What if you become distracted on a hunt?" Malorg's voice trembled. "What if…what if simply being around me is enough to dampen that bright spark of hope that burns in your breast? There are so many ways this ends poorly, and so few it ends well."

Somehow, hearing Malorg give voice to some of Sarilian's own concerns steadied him. We're in this together, he reminded himself. He squeezed Malorg's hand, rubbing his thumb soothingly over Malorg's cool skin. "You can't protect me from everything—not when my life is dedicated to combating the Void. Our mere existence in this realm is rife with peril."

Instead of reassuring Malorg as he'd intended, his words only seemed to set the Infernal more on edge. "Yet another cost of the Covenant's folly," Malorg said, his voice bitter.

Sarilian frowned. "I choose to uphold the Covenant because it is the right thing to do. Whatever you may think about the futility of our mission, I'd rather devote myself to helping others and have my efforts amount to naught than refuse to even try."

For a moment, Malorg appeared poised to argue. His grip on Sarilian's hand tightened. Then, a shudder rippled through him, and he relaxed back into the pillows with a sigh. "Forgive me. I did not mean to spark a dispute, Honestly, I admire your dedication, even if I find your faith in the Covenant misplaced. Nothing would please me more than to have you disprove my doubts."

Grateful for the opportunity to ease the brief tension between them, Sarilian smiled and offered a shrug. "Who knows? Maybe our combined magic will prove the key to defeating the Void. Or our people will realize they are stronger when they work together." He let out a light chuckle. "If only we could convince the Empty Ones to pack it in and go home. Without the specter of war hanging over them, Celestials and Infernals might actually find a way to coexist in peace." He furrowed his brow. "Though, I suppose that would sort of defeat the point, wouldn't it? Without any further need for the Covenant, the magic sustaining this realm might cease to exist, ushering our souls on to whatever awaits us in the Great Beyond."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Malorg said, snuggling into Sarilian's side. "Not so long as I got to move on with you."

They both fell quiet, simply holding each other until Malorg hesitantly said, "Perhaps there is a way to end the Covenant. Not for everyone," he added as excitement thrummed through Sarilian, prompting him to sit up in Malorg's arms. "But for us." Malorg turned, gripping Sarilian's gaze with an imploring stare. "We could run off together. Make a home for ourselves in exile and spend the rest of eternity together—or at least, as much of eternity as we get. It could be our chance to decide our own future."

For a brief, glorious moment, Sarilian allowed himself to embrace the fantasy Malorg had proposed. Waking up next to Malorg each day. Spending their time however they liked, free of the burdens of war and duty, unconcerned with the judgments or machinations of their kin.

But then the weight of responsibility came crashing back. He'd meant his promise to Darius. A life in exile meant a life as traitors—as cowards and oathbreakers. What happiness could they possibly find then?

"I can't just abandon my purpose here," Sarilian said gently. "I owe it to the people of Allaria to do my best to protect them." He forced a chuckle he didn't feel. "Besides, where would we go? No matter which side of the Immortal Realm we chose, one of us would be stuck out of place. And both our kin would hunt us down…if wild voidspawn didn't do the job for them first."

Regret smothered Sarilian when Malorg didn't respond. Perhaps he should have allowed Malorg his idle dream rather than shutting it down so completely. What point was there in dwelling on all the things they couldn't change?

Eventually, Malorg managed a faint smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You're right. It was a foolish suggestion. Please, forget I said anything."

"Don't worry about it," Sarilian said, trying to ignore the growing pit in his stomach. "I understood what you meant. Who among us doesn't sometimes wish for a reprieve?"

Malorg only nodded.

Determined to distract the brooding Infernal, Sarilian spun in Malorg's arms, pestering him with little kisses. Malorg resisted at first, but gradually, his foul humor faded. Grinning, he flipped Sarilian over and pinned him to the pillows before capturing his mouth in a tongue-curling kiss that left Sarilian dizzy. It didn't take long for them to lose themselves in one another, each caress a promise and each moan an exaltation.

But far too soon, it was time to part once again.

Malorg's melancholy returned as they approached the border, the black edges of the forest fading into the Dawnlands' austere plains.

"I'm sorry for earlier," Sarilian said, cupping Malorg's cheek. "I don't want you to stew the entire time I'm gone."

A smile, small but genuine, graced Malorg's lips as he leaned in to give Sarilian a tender kiss. "Forgive me as well for dampening the mood. You're right—so long as we remain in the Immortal Realm, we'll never escape the Covenant. I just wish we didn't have to spend so much time apart."

The wistful longing in Malorg's voice did something to Sarilian's insides, rearranging them into some new configuration. If Malorg wasn't already the axis around which Sarilian's entire being rotated, he would be soon. "Me, too. But I promise I'll return as soon as I can. Until we meet again."

"Until we meet again," Malorg echoed sadly as Sarilian strode across the barrier and began the long trek to the nearest waypoint where he could catch a dawnbeam home.

At least, walking gave him plenty of time to replay his most recent encounter with Malorg. Every whispered word. Every heated glance. Every shared touch. Not even their slight missteps concerning the Covenant had been able to detract from the overall pleasure of the experience.

As far as Sarilian was concerned, Until we meet again couldn't come soon enough.