43. Forty-Three

Damian washed me.

When he brought me to his room, I anticipated the worst.

He’d rape me again, tether me, and belittle me. But he didn’t. He forced me into the bath, scrubbed me clean, and dressed me.

He sat on a lounge chair, sipping his glass of wine, and stared at me. He ordered me to sit, so I sat. Not much had changed there. The tapestry I used to admire depicting my castle hung to the left of the grand fireplace. Embers glowed within it. The four-posted bed had the same black canopy hanging over the sides, obscuring the mattress. His ornate rugs were cleaned to perfection, and various pieces of art hung on the walls.

I wasn’t sure what I expected. This was not it, though.

“Why did you run from me?” he finally asked.

“I ran from everyone.” The words were strained on my lips. I didn’t want to speak to him. I didn’t want to be this close.

“Look,” he sighed, setting his glass on the rectangular black table between us. ”I was angry. You needed to be taught a lesson.”

I curled my fists at my sides. “A lesson?”

He nodded. “I’ll admit, it wasn’t my finest moment.”

“You raped me!” I couldn’t hold back.

“But did I? Was it any different from the countless nights spent in this room? In that bed?” He pointed behind me.

“Yes! Yes, it was bloody different! I didn’t want it. You… you…”

“A little blood never turned you off before,” he said casually as if I was making it up.

I growled, “The scars you imprinted on me were more than external, Damian.”

He stood, rounding the table and stopping at my knees. Kneeling, he placed a hand on me, and I flinched. “Let me apologize, then. I had a moment of weakness. I let my rage get the better of me.”

I scoffed. “A moment? Damian, you raped me in that cellar and then again! Here! Right fucking here!” I shoved at his chest, making him stumble back on the table.

“It was rape because what? I didn’t prepare you first? Gods, don’t be an infant, Vastian.”

“You tethered me,” I stood, feeling a ball of sickening fire forming in my stomach. “You held me against that wall, held me down on the bed.” My strength had returned hours ago, and he discarded the tether when he first brought me there. “I begged for you to stop. I screamed and screamed.” My fists trembled, and my legs wanted to falter and force me down. To be weak. “I loved you. I trusted you. And you did it anyway!” I let my fist fly.

Jumping on top of him, I couldn’t stop. I punched him, clawed at him, and even when he managed to flip us, shattering the table in the process, I didn’t relent.

Every fiber of my being burned to rip him apart. I hated him—hated him more than the Queen, my father, more than anyone. He was going to die tonight.

He cupped my wrists as I struggled to battle against his strength. For a short Vampyr, he had always been a touch stronger.

“I still love you,” he said.

“Lies!” I jerked, but his grip didn’t falter.

“All this time, I’ve missed you.” He pulled one of my hands to his mouth and kissed it.

I pulled back, putting all my weight into the movement. “Let go!”

In a flash, he did, and I tumbled onto my back, wedged between the table and sofa. In the time it took for me to take a single breath, he mounted me, slammed my head into the ground, and held up that bloody purse.

“Why are you making this harder? You wanted love. I am trying to give it to you. All I asked was for your obedience. Just obey me!” He yelled, but his eyes softened.

We have had arguments before. When I thought he was mine, when I wanted nothing more than to claim him, those fights always ended the same way: He’d profess his love and kiss me until I forgot what we fought about.

Atreyis and I had fights. We kissed after. The difference? I never felt anything for Damian like I did for Atreyis, and Atreyis would never hurt me like he did. No one could compare. I didn’t care that Damian and I had a century-long history, that Atreyis was cursed, or that Damian would age at the same rate as I would.

No one could ever compare to Atreyis. Ever.

“There isn’t a fragment of your soul worth loving. Worth wanting. You are the fucking chasm, and I refuse to live within it again!”

“My father was right. You are weak. Always will be weak. And the gods wasted their power on a pathetic welp like you.” The tether fell from the purse, lacing around my torso. “But I still want to fuck you. I don’t need anything else from you.”

It was easy to succumb to the pain. It was easy to lay there and let the tether drain my strength. My whole life, things were easy. I fought to get away. And all this time, I thought it was because of cowardice, because of weakness.

A coward would have caved. He would have broken to avoid punishment or ridicule. You stood up to all those fuckers. You and no one else. I’ve never heard of anything more brave.

Damian wasted no time baring me from the waste down, his fingers stroked my cock and Atreyis’ words only amplified.

I’d do anything to find you. To save you.

And I would do the same. No—I had to do the same. Turning my thoughts inward, I pushed all my focus into a single thought. The tether does not exist. It tightened as if hearing my will. My skin burned and sliced. Damian’s grunts increased as he revealed himself. I clenched my fists, repeatedly screaming the sentence and seeing it in my mind”s eye.

I won’t break. I won’t obey. I won’t let him do this again!

“Wha—” Damian’s voice crumpled as sweet relief washed over me. The tether vanished.

He sat back on his haunches, staring wide-eyed as I curled my lip. “I am not a coward!” I roared, forcing every molecule of will into shoving him off me.

The door burst open only a moment later.

Light cascaded through, and Atreyis stood in the entry. Heavy breaths and blood coated every inch of him, and when his gaze landed on me, I thought my heart would burst.

From the scene, it looked like Damian and I were seconds from sex. I wasn’t tied up or tethered. I wasn’t injured or broken. And despite pushing him off me, Damian looked like he pulled away.

Fuck. No!

“Atreyis,” I called to him.

This couldn’t be happening. I fought so hard to make this cease, and the man I loved more than anything walked in at the worst moment. He didn’t see the struggle, didn’t hear my words. He didn’t know that Damian was hurting me.

Gods, he already doesn’t trust and now he thinks I’ve betrayed him.

Something changed in his expression. I wasn’t sure if it was my fear or that he saw it differently. Damian stood, put his cock back in his pants, and brushed his hair back.

“I saw the light,” Atreyis said to me.

A sob left my lips despite the beast clawing under my flesh. I had maybe minutes before it came. “How did you get free?” Damian asked him.

Atreyis put on a smirk, and fisted his hip. “Because I’m that good.”