25. Twenty-Five

“Do you really think I’ve done it all,” Atreyis said as he lathered his legs.

The two of us in that shower was a horrible idea; it was all elbows and knees. “Seems like a reasonable deduction,” I grunted, aiming my soapy hair into the water stream.

Snorting, he faced me and pointed at me with his soap. “Just because I’m a bit of a manwhore doesn’t mean I’ve done everything.”

“Why is that? Why throw yourself at anyone who will have you?” If I had thought I was feeling territorial earlier, it wouldn”t have even scraped the surface of how I felt then. After what he did—what we did? It took everything in me not to claim him as my own.It”d been years since I”d done anything close to what we”d done, so naturally, I wanted to keep him chained up somewhere so we could continue to do so.

Either that or he had corrupted me. Neither bothered me.

“What?” We switched spots so that he could rinse off. In the process, our chests brushed together, and my cock stirred. I’d gone positively feral for him.

“As you’ve so crudely put it, being a manwhore,” I said through tight lips.

He chuckled and tipped his head, giving me a full view of his neck. Water ran down his toned chest and stomach, and that trail of hair I couldn’t get out of my head. My hands begged me to reach out and stroke it, but I bit my lip instead. For whatever reason, I was still holding back with Atreyis.

“Well,” he faced the spray again, cupping himself and rinsing, “it”s hard to feel things. When I was younger, I felt a lot, you know? Happiness, hunger for life, hope—that all stopped. Sex is easy. A temporary illusion so that I can feel anything at all.”

“I don’t understand.” I could not stop it; I reached out and stroked his back.

He trembled, sucking in a breath. “Life is only worth living because you get one shot. One chance to do something before you die, and that’s it.” Turning, he wrapped his arms around my neck.

“Someone took this from you.”

“When nothing has meaning, and you are here forever… you fuck a lot of people.” He chuckled.

Rubbing small circles against his back, I searched his face. He was hiding again. “What is it that you wanted to do? Before your curse?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he whispered and dropped his arms.

Growling, I pulled him tighter. “Trust, Atreyis. Have I not earned yours?”

“It isn’t about fucking trust, you twat.” He pushed on my chest. “Some shit you just don’t talk about.”

“You’re impossible!” I released him and left the shower, securing a towel around my hips before leaving the washroom.

He said it wasn”t about trust, but that was the wedge prying us apart. Atreyis didn”t trust anyone, and I was a fool to think he”d trust me purely because we”d been intimate. My cock was attached to my heart. His must”ve been connected to another entity entirely because nothing I did seemed to get him where I wanted him—with me.

I”d gone from being repulsed to enchanted. He had a hold on me tighter than any tether, a want burning hotter than I”d ever felt within my frigid chest. His need to hide behind crass humor was charming most of the time, but I wanted that vulnerable side. I wanted the tender, meaty flesh I knew he had beneath it all. I was jealous of everyone, envious of his ability to fuck so freely without any attachments. If I were more like Atreyis, I”d be able to destroy this ache that was driving me mad.

Before I knew what I was doing, I’d thrown a punch, and a massive hole was now in the bedroom wall. Gods, this was harder than I thought.

What was it that Atreyis wanted? Part of me knew. Break his curse. Let him die. I didn’t want him to die. I wanted him. That realization twisted my insides.

Atreyis was so reckless that if he got his wish, I’d never see him again. He’d find the first sharp object and impale himself. His curse was foul, and I didn”t want his fate to be eternal suffering inside a rotten shell. Ideas and urges lashed at my mind. There was a different fate for him, one I could deliver.

But would he even want that? Would he like a chance at a life even without having a purpose?

I was determined to break down the steel fortress he hid inside.

How does he not know he is wonderful?

“Vastian,” he said from behind me.

Inhaling his fresh scent and listening to his frantic heartbeat, I calmed myself enough to speak. “Fate is an odd force of divinity. It moves through the world seemingly randomly, but there is purpose in every twist and bend. Fate brought our paths together, Atreyis. We were meant to find each other.” Those infernal tears dared to make a second appearance, so I blinked them back.

“Derek said the same thing. Not as eloquently, I’ll admit, but virtually the same. Star-crossed lovers. Mates. I don’t believe in that crap.”

I couldn’t control my rage as I spun around to face him. “A goddess gave me her powers. I am a god, yet you still refuse to accept fate? I knew you were stubborn and infuriating, maybe a dash insane, but I never thought you were a bloody idiot.” The words spewed from my lips like venom.

He scowled, fists curling in his towel. “Fuck you. Pretentious bitch.” He spat on the floor and shouldered through the door.

The slur should have hurt. It should have stung—reopening old wounds. It didn’t. I was even angrier. Rushing after him, I dodged as he hiked his fist to punch me and then caught it.

“Stop hiding!” I roared, tossing his hand to his side. “You insult everyone around you but deny the truth of the matter! Stop feeding the chasm!”

He laughed, bitter, hurt. “As beautiful as your cock is, I will fucking kill you if you don’t stop talking.”

“Do it, I fucking dare you.” I mocked the words that he’d said before. Not that he could kill me anyway. He didn’t have the knowledge or weapon for the task. Remorse filled me when I spotted the flash of hurt in his green eyes. “What will it take for you to accept I won’t hurt you, Atreyis? Do I need to cut out my heart and bloody hand it over to you?”

“You’ve known me what? Two days? Maybe longer? Get over yourself. I’m not telling you anything.”

“It has been over two days, but that”s beside the point. You’d tell Alora about your past, but not me. Is it because she has a cunt?” Where was this vileness coming from? I’d never been so vulgar.

He cut me with his eyes. “I’ve never told Alora.”

It was as if someone knocked me over with a tidal wave. “She… she said you did.”

“When?” He seemed to be hit by the same force.

The fiery tension died between us. Two grown men in towels, ready to bathe in each other’s blood, had drifted to a surprising calm.

“Yesterday, when you stormed out.”

He frowned, tapping his thigh. “Why the fuck would she tell you that?” He scrunched up his nose.

Just as I was about to mention that she seemed untrustworthy, the front door swung open. As if we summoned her, Alora stood at the entrance with wild eyes and even wilder hair, which was red now.

“Got a problem. Aryn is at the port.” She inspected us.

“Get dressed,” Atreyis barked at me and stomped over to her.

The demon was here.

I didn”t think we should include Alora regarding a hellspawn, but Atreyis didn”t bloody trust me. I had no choice but to obey him. Gods, I hoped I didn”t regret it.