15. Fifteen

What the hell was that?

I seriously almost kissed that man. It was right there. Was I that fucked that I’d try it? He’s done nothing but make it extremely clear that he isn’t interested. And after his painfully boring tale about being on the run—get it together, Atreyis.

Mom was screaming from the living room. The noise sounded painful. And honestly? She deserved to be in pain. That miserable bitch had done nothing but twist my insides and make me feel like the scum under her boot my whole life.

Vastian was on his feet immediately and out the door.

I didn’t want to deal with this. Living forever had stapled enough things to my brain, thank you very much.

“Atreyis, get in here!” Couldn”t I just lay on the floor, kicking and screaming until I got my way?

This was just…gross.

Either she was pissing blood or shitting it. But the ass of her pants was red. She was twitching and drooling.

Vastian had this expression on his face that made me cringe—a cross between anger and desperation. I knew he wanted me to say something, to give him the go-ahead to end her life, but all I saw was Lucios.

Backing up into her bedroom, I tried to get a hold of my breathing, which seemed to mutate into hyperventilation.

He growled and did his freaky, super-speed move. “If you will not ease this, I will.” His brows furrowed as he pinched my face in his fingers and jerked my chin up.

Again, my words wouldn’t form, so I shut my eyes, which only intensified Lucios’ face. My mom’s cries morphed into his. Then, the pleading started. The words were like needles in my ears.

Atreyis, please save me. Fix it! You promised. Atreyis! His fingers wrapped around my shirt, and his chimera eyes went bloodshot. The pustules were everywhere, even on his pubescent gray wings.

“Atreyis, breathe.” Vastian’s voice broke through the flashbacks.

Soft strokes fell down my cheek, and a firm hand gripped my back. It was then that I realized I had started to shake something violent. The stench of my house filled my nose once more, and I could crawl through the murky depths of my memory. He caressed small circles over my spine.

“Slow breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. You are here. Right here.” I did what he said. Despite my mom’s wailing, I focused on his cool touch and words.

When I mustered the courage to open my eyes again, I found his. “There you are,” he breathed.

“Do it,” I whispered.

His face softened. “Don’t watch this. Go sit down.” Then he dropped his hand and released me from his hold.

I may have had a stupid meltdown, but I wasn’t a delicate flower who’d never seen death. Shaking my head, I said, “No. I want to see it.”

He gave a single nod.

Vastian scooped my mom into his arms like I imagined a loving father would to their sick child. He whispered into her ear, but I doubt she heard him through her blubbering. My fists clenched at my sides, and vise-like tightness worked through my jaw. The way his fingers stroked her damp face sent chills through me, and gooseflesh pricked my arms.

Just as he leaned down to bite her, I moved closer.

“Wait.”

Kneeling before them, I looked at her for an eternity. What do you say to your fucking mom before she dies? A mom who left you broken. She was supposed to be the one person who loved me unconditionally and kept me safe. She didn”t do either of those things. “Have a good death.”

Then I hauled ass outside before anyone saw the tears.

All of that was ridiculous.

This wasn’t me. I wasn’t some miserable twat who cried over his mom or had flashbacks. So I stood outside and slapped my face until I felt like myself again. But it never fucking happened. If I didn’t heal at an inhuman rate, I’d have black eyes, a broken nose, and a mouth so swollen it would be nonfunctional.

Eventually, I gave up and sank to my knees in the dirt. There wasn’t any booze or drugs. Not even a damned cigarette to take the edge off. Just an army of fucked up things I didn’t want to feel anymore.

I want to die.

Wait—how long was I out there? The sun was setting. The sun was setting! And Vastian saw all of that. Say goodbye to that kiss. What kiss? He wouldn”t kiss me. I was an idiot who couldn”t get a hold of his brain. A miserable slab of meat that would never die. I”d grow old. Turn into a dried-up husk and lay in decomposition until the end of time.

“I need to die,” I said to no one.

Daring to look over my shoulder, I must’ve run earlier because the cottage was far behind me. I collapsed at the end of the road. Vastian’s silhouette was in the doorway. I could leave him there, find a nice hole somewhere, and wait for fate to catch up with me. But when I saw him lift his hand and beckon me, my legs worked, and I found myself heading back.

As if he was a fucking siren and I was the sailor.

“The home needs to be burned. Whatever virus they had, it is contagious, and I can’t have it on my conscience if it were to spread,” he said.

Sucking in a breath, I sighed, “Alright.”

He outstretched his hand to me. This man was just…too good, but I took it.

Mom’s corpse was covered with a blanket when we got back inside.

In silence, we took some logs from the fireplace and lit them. Then, together, we gathered all the fabric we could and tied them. With our makeshift rope, we put one end in the fireplace and let the flames do the rest. I stood beside him outside and watched the smoke plume from the doorway and open windows. It wasn’t long before my old home was consumed. And even though I’d never forget what happened there or what I’d lost because of it—the wound was finally cauterized. All that remained now was the scar.

“You did well,” Vastian said as we neared the end of the road.

“Obviously. When you’re born perfect ‘n all.”

He smirked. “Back to avoidance again, I take it?”

“What do Vampyr’s drink? Can you even get drunk?” Damn right, we were avoiding all the things.

With a breathy sigh, he said, “Wine. Red. And yes, I would love to.” His eyes twinkled when he grinned at me.

Did I mention he was my dream man?

“How did you pay for this?” Vastian asked as I slid the glass of wine across the table.

He was very vocal about being in another human town, but at least it wasn’t Veros! The last place I wanted to be was there, and as it turned out, I knew the owner of this inn and tavern. It took us a few days, but the mostly silent walk was torturous. I think Vastian didn’t know what to say to me. Not that I could blame the man.

Offering a cheeky grin, I leaned back on the bench. “Perks of being this damn good-looking.”

Rolling his eyes, he sipped his drink. “This is…surprisingly good.”

I noted the way his lips pursed as he savored the taste.

I hadn’t been to this place in a long time. It was easily five years or more, so I was surprised when Max remembered me. He did say that I’d given him the best orgasm of his life. So apparently, that held the test of time, even if he wasn’t thrilled to see me strolling in with Vastian’s beautiful ass.

Max was another shifter, but unlike Derek, he knew what this was and took no offense when I left before he woke. I guess Max was also a beast in the sack, which would attest to his species. Dragon shifter. And no, his cock didn’t have spikes. Ouch.

“We have a room for the day.”

“And how did you manage that?” He cocked a brow.

“Blowjobs.”

He palmed his face. “Is that all you think about?”

“What else should I think about? The lush curve of a breast in my hand?”

He went stoic and drew his attention to his wine glass, which he twirled delicately by the stem. “So you enjoy both… then?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” What a weird question.

“I see,” he whispered and took a long sip.

“What someone has in their pants means little to me. It’s all fun.”

“I take it you’ve never loved then.” It was like he wanted me to stay sober.

Polishing off my whiskey, I poured myself another because Max was a doll and gave me a bottle. “And you’ve never fucked.”

His eyes flicked up to mine. “What makes you think that?”

“You’re a prude! Everything about the topic makes you squirm. I bet you’ve never even had a proper orgasm.”

Oh fuck. Here come the doves and harps.

That ridiculous smile tore across his face like he had a secret or was about to say something mind-blowing. My heart hammered violently against my chest when it grew until I got a whole show of all his teeth. He leaned forward on his elbows and clasped his hands under his chin.

“The only thing you need to know about orgasms is this: I don’t come unless they do.”

I choked. Full-blown gargling on my whiskey because not only was that the last thing I expected him to say, but it sent a bolt of electricity straight to the tip of my cock.

“Self-control then,” I croaked and slammed my fist into my chest.

“Immaculate control.” Then he refilled his glass as if he hadn’t just given me the most painful erection of my life.

Real great. Now I couldn’t get the idea of his perfect lips around my cock out of my head. Or slamming into me from behind. Of how I’d like to spear my tongue between his round cheeks.

And at that… I might have groaned.