Chapter 8

The final day with Colby is the sweetest torture I've ever known. He took me to a garden so that I could stand among butterflies. I'd watched them fly around me, into the sky, one even landed on me. But what made it even more perfect was the way Colby had watched me. The look in his eyes when his gaze landed on me was something else. I felt every inch of his gaze like a caress.

Then he took me to the pier, bought me anything I so much as looked at. Bought me that damn necklace that I'll never take off. He'd walked me to the edge of the pier and told me he wanted to take me home to have me. He had sounded so in need that I hadn't been able to deny him.

I don't think I'll ever be able to deny Colby. I don't want to either.

We return to the house just in time for dinner. I leave Colby in the kitchen to cook. It doesn't take long for me to get ready for him. After so many years, it's a routine that I have down easily. Music echoes around the kitchen when I come back downstairs. The sound of my feet padding along the wood floors has Colby turning to look at me from where he stands at the stove.

He aims a breathtaking smile my way and in that instant I know I'm forever fucked.

It took five days for me to fall in love with this man. How many days will it take for me to fall out of love? My stomach churns at the idea of doing this with anyone else. Just the idea of being touched by someone else makes my heart clench painfully in my chest.

"Can we eat dinner later?" I ask quietly, suddenly feeling shy.

Colby's gaze is hot on me, but he nods tightly, then covers the pans on the stove, turning the burners off. He stalks towards me, all heat, want, and need. Taking my face in his large palms, he kisses me possessively. All the air leaves me in a rush when he licks into my mouth, owning me with his lips. My cock aches just from one simple kiss with Colby.

His hands trail down my back and cup my ass, lifting so that I'm forced to wrap my legs around him. I gasp into his mouth as he carries me up the stairs to the bedroom. Warm sunlight casts the bedroom orange. Colby gently lays me on the bed, following me down with his body, kissing me with an urgency that I've never experienced before.

His mouth devours me and I just try to hang on. I curl my fingers against his back, digging my nails into his skin, hoping to leave marks there long after I'm gone. Colby tears himself away from my mouth to trail kisses down my neck and chest. Moans flow freely from my mouth because my body has a mind of its own.

Colby's lips leave a wake of fire behind them as he kisses down my stomach. His fingers hook into the band of my underwear, tugging them down without any fanfare. My cock slaps against my stomach and I tangle my fingers into the sheets to stop myself from dragging Colby back to my mouth.

But he knows.

Colby stands and hurriedly undresses himself as I watch on with lust-hazy eyes. He's so fucking beautiful. The soft, blond hairs that cover his firm muscles. His blue eyes that devour me at every chance they get. The heart inside his body that beats away for someone else, the heart that I wish was mine. Colby Smith is everything I've ever dreamed of having, but never dared to wish to keep.

I lick my lips when I look down at his hard cock.

"You want my cock?" Colby asks as he climbs back onto the bed. He flips me over easily, manhandling me onto my knees. He bites one of my ass cheeks, sending a thrill coursing through me. But the kiss he places on the bite soothes the momentary pain. "You want me to fuck you hard? Fuck you sweet? What do you want, husband?"

I swallow down a cry. "Sweet," I admit softly, embarrassment flooding me.

"Of course, you do, baby. My good boy. You want me to show you what it means to be my husband?"

I nod against the bed and force my eyes to stay dry. I won't cry. I will not cry, a mantra that I repeat in my head until my body believes it.

Colby licks my ass tentatively a few times, as if he's savoring the taste of me. Then he just dives in. He eats me with a fervor that almost scares me. Every lick and swipe of his tongue sends me keening, begging for something that I don"t think he can even give me.

Please, more, now, so good, are the only words that fall from my lips as he eats me alive. When he pushes a lubed finger into me, I almost scream in frustration. I just want him inside me. I want him so deep that no one else will ever be there again. I want to feel him in my throat.

"Please, Colby, please. Husband," I cry as he continues to finger me and eat my hole. My thighs tremble as I fight back my orgasm. I could come just from this, just from his mouth and fingers. He's going to be my ruin. No one else will ever fuck me like this, have me trembling for them, quaking with need.

Colby grunts loudly and kisses up the curve of my spine. I expect him to press into me, fuck me on my knees, but he doesn't. He flips me over and kisses me so that I can taste where he was on his tongue. God. I reach down to grasp his cock, giving it a good squeeze. He's already wearing a condom and he's wet with lube. Oh, God. He's going to fuck me like this, on my back, legs wrapped around his waist.

He breaks away from my mouth with a pained groan. Steadying himself with a forearm by my head, he grasps his cock and guides it to my hole. He watches with lust-blown eyes as he sinks into me. God, he's so big. The stretch is beyond anything I've ever felt before. I feel so full of him even before he bottoms out. Maybe we were made to be like this together.

Tilting my head back against the pillows, I firmly shut my eyes against all the emotions flooding through me. Once he's buried to the hilt, he kisses my trembling lips. I dig my fingers into his biceps just for something to hold on to, so I'm not swept out by the tide.

His pace is slow and gentle, making me cry out in frustration. I try to spur him on faster with my heels, but he just chuckles darkly. He grinds into me, not even thrusting, just torturing me. Colby grips my jaw with his fingers and forces me to meet his heated gaze.

"You wanted slow," Colby reminds me.

I grit my teeth in irritation. "Slow, not glacial."

He grinds into me again, making me see stars. Every slow glide in and out deliciously tugs at my rim. Colby abruptly freezes deep inside me and I swear I can feel him in my throat. I watch in confusion as Colby lifts to his knees, but my confusion melts away when he grabs my hips tightly and tugs me up, forcing me to straddle his waist as he sits on his haunches. Our faces are only inches apart in this position. Our panting breaths mingle together in the darkness of the room.

"Ride me," Colby demands before laying a possessive kiss to my slack mouth. "Take what you want."

My body knows what to do before my brain does. I grind against him as I curl my arms around his shoulders, burying my fingers in the sweat-dampened hairs at the nape of his neck.

I keep the pace slow, just a gentle grind, but my orgasm still sneaks up on me. Lightning zips down my spine, fire spreads throughout my body, and I know my orgasm is close, but I don't want it to end. I don't want this lovemaking to be over. Because that's what this is if I'm honest with myself. Colby is making love to me even though I'm the one taking his cock at my own pace.

He stares up at me, so fiercely full of desire, that tears spring to my eyes again.

"Tell me," I whisper against his mouth as he fucks up into me.

"Tell you what?" Colby mumbles distractedly, like he's too caught up in me to even think.

"Tell me I'm a good husband. Tell me I'm the very best."

His breath leaves him in a giant woosh. "Eli," Colby gasps my name.

"Tell me," I beg as a lone tear escapes down my cheek. The tear visibly breaks something inside Colby. I watch as his face goes through numerous emotions in the space of seconds.

Colby keeps one hand on the mattress to steady us, but uses the other to tenderly cup my jaw. I tilt my face into the palm of his hand as I keep a slow grind on his cock.

His fingers dig into my jaw as he unflinchingly meets my gaze. I think he sees me, really sees Elijah Ruiz. Not the sex worker, the PhD pursuer, or son of a single mother, just … Eli. When I'm with Colby I'm nothing else but his.

"You're the best husband," Colby vows, voice trembling with restrained emotion. "I'm so glad you're mine. My husband, my Eli."

I gasp as my orgasm rolls through me like a wild wave crashing against the shore. My vision whites out for a moment, but I don't miss the way Colby comes right after me, bucking so far into me that I think maybe I will feel an echo of him inside me forever. We gasp for breath together for a few moments, just staring wide-eyed at one another. Shocked by the intensity of the moment we just shared.

Colby jostles us a little so he can take my face in both of his hands. The look on his face is just south of adoring. "My husband, my Eli."

Tears fall from my eyes because I can't hold them back any longer. Colby sweetly wipes the tears away with his thumbs, and kisses me lovingly while still buried deep inside me. Only when he softens enough to slip out do we break apart. No words are exchanged between us as Colby gently guides me into the bathroom. I don't think any words would even do if we tried.

He draws a bath and fills it with bubbles that smell like tea tree oil. The bathroom fills up with steam as I look forlornly out the bathroom windows. The sun has disappeared, gone below the horizon. Gorgeous pinks and purples fill the sky. A beautiful end to a beautiful vacation. Because that's all this was, all this ever could be. A vacation from real life for both of us.

Once the bath is full, Colby sits down in the tub, then helps me into the bath between his legs. I lean my back against his solid chest. His fingers card through my curls, pulling the knots out that formed during our lovemaking. Relaxation flows through me enough that I feel myself drift a little, not to sleep, but into a state of relaxation I've never quite allowed myself before.

"My husband," I whisper sleepily, just as sleep overtakes me.

I wakeup once during the night. My mind is a scattered mess until I remember where I am. My brain immediately goes a mile a minute.

What am I going to do about this man who brings me breakfast in bed, buys me books, learns my every tell, and is starting to feel more like a real husband than a fake one? How am I going to return to my life back in Georgia and know that Colby is off living a life that I'm no longer privy to? And how am I going to fall asleep at night without the weight of him against my back keeping me grounded to the earth?

None of these questions can be answered by my pea-sized brain. I wonder if Colby has considered the same things or will life go right back to normal for him once we go our separate ways?

The very idea almost knocks the wind out of me. Just the idea that he will watch me walk away tomorrow without a care in the world could stop my heart in my chest. I can't think about it now though. As my mother always says—those are tomorrow's worries, so there's no use borrowing trouble for today.

I turn into his arms and bury my face in his neck. He lets out a pleased sound in his sleep before laying a heavy arm over my back. I let myself fall asleep in his arms, comforted by the weight of him, without worrying about how tomorrow night I'll be sleeping alone in a bed that won't smell like him.

Darkness greets me when I blink fully awake for the final time. Colby is a solid weight against my chest. Sweat covers our bodies from us being pressed tightly together.

Today is the day we have to go our separate ways. The final day.

The worst part of me wants to flee while Colby is asleep. Take the coward's way out. But that's not fair to either of us and that's not what Colby paid to have this week. The husband experience can't end with one of the husbands fleeing during the night.

So, I just lie there and listen to Colby breathe. His breath puffs against my neck on each exhale, tickling the skin of my neck. I grip his arm around me while I watch the sky change slowly as the sun rises on the other coast. The sky goes from black, to dark blue, to pink, and finally light blue as the day comes for us.

I know Colby won't sleep much longer because he's an early riser. Moments later, he jolts against my back, proving me right. Despite everything, I smile to myself. Gentle hands roll me over so that Colby can look down at me. A bittersweet smile graces his own lips.

"I thought you'd leave before I woke up," Colby admits sheepishly. God, how can a man that fucks like the devil be so sweet, even shy at times?

"I wouldn't do that to you."

Colby sighs and tightly shuts his eyes. "I don't think I can watch you walk away."

"Then you won't watch me walk away," I whisper against his stubbled check. I lean back just enough to brush a closemouthed kiss against his lips. "Make me breakfast, hubby?"

We take care of morning business together in the bathroom. Brushing our teeth together at the sink and grinning at one another in the mirror. Downstairs, Colby makes me waffles again, and fruit without any berries. I devour the waffles because Colby is an amazing cook. An amazing man.

We're quiet as we clean up the kitchen. I wonder if Colby is going to stay here or leave when I leave? What will he do once I'm gone? What life will he go back to? Colby stays downstairs as I return upstairs to pack my things. I'm leaving with more than I brought, not just in belongings. I'm leaving here a man in love. A professional fake boyfriend that fell for the client. Pathetic, I know, but it's now my sorry lot in life.

To know a love so pure if only for a few days, is something I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Colby's out on the balcony when I come downstairs with all my belongings. Just like that first day. How was that only six days ago? It feels like a lifetime. Colby turns and takes in the sight of my suitcase, of me standing unsure at the edge of the living room. Some emotion that I can't name crosses his face.

Ask me to stay, I think. Ask to keep me, I ache to beg him. But I don't. Just like people have tried to own me before, I don't want to put that back on him. I don't want him to be forced to ask for something that he might not even want.

Instead, I open my arms, and hold him tightly against me. We sway together in the living room. His arms are a tight band around me as I breathe the clean scent of him in. Expensive cologne and the ocean. Is it silly for me to ask him the brand name? I want to ask him so that I can buy it and spray it on my pillows, but I know it won't be the same. The scent won't have the hint of Colby that should accompany it.

Colby presses a tender kiss to the edge of my jaw, then pulls away. Quietly, we walk out of the house towards my car parked in the driveway. My heart beats like a hummingbird's wings in my chest. Is this how it feels to break your heart in real time?

I unlock my car and Colby loads my bags into the trunk for me. When he comes back, he stands in front of me with his hands in his pockets as if to stop himself from reaching out for me.

"My husband, my Colby," I tell him around the emotion threatening to choke me.

Colby closes his eyes on a pained sigh. "My husband, my Eli."

"Hey," I whisper, forcing him to look at me. "Don't watch me go. Pretend I'm going out for groceries and I'll be right back, okay? I'll be right back."

"Okay."

"What ice cream do you want?" I ask around a bitten-down cry.

Colby blinks rapidly in confusion. "What?"

"Ice cream," I repeat mechanically.

Understanding dawns on Colby's face and tears swim in his eyes. Damn. If Colby cries there is no way I'll be able to leave him. I'm not a praying man, but I send a quick prayer for those tears to stay in his eyes. Please.

"Cookies and cream," Colby answers with a trembling voice.

"Two pints of cookies and cream. I'll be right back."

Colby swallows so hard that his throat bobs painfully. I watch with tears in my eyes as he turns and heads back towards the house. He freezes on the steps with a hand on the railing, back a tight line under his shirt. With my breath caught in my chest, I climb into my car, and slowly back out of the small driveway. Colby never turns around, not that I can see at least. And I watch for a long time in my rearview mirror until Colby is only a speck.

Nothing has ever hurt this bad before. Why does leaving Colby feel like I'm leaving my heart behind? An almost physical pull to turn around, to throw myself into his arms, wrestles inside me. So, I do the only thing I can think of to do.

I call my mom.

"Mama," I cry into the phone as I navigate towards the interstate.

"Angel! What's wrong?" she asks gently, and suddenly I miss her so much. I haven't seen her in person since Christmas. Sometimes, all a boy needs is a hug from his mom.

"I just left Colby. But I didn't want to leave him. I think …" I take a deep breath, then blow a raspberry as I come to a stoplight. "Can you fall in love in just a week?"

Mom hums thoughtfully into the phone. "I fell in love with your dad in only days, it's not my fault he didn't deserve my love. Sometimes people don't. But this Colby sounds special if he could make my sweet Eli fall in love with him. Turn back around!"

"It was a job, Mama."

She scoffs, making me laugh despite my tears. "You're not as good an actor as you think, angel. Everyone that meets you falls in love with you. They have your entire life. You're just not so good at realizing it."

Her words have the desired effect on me, the tears stop. Silence fills the car for a little while as I drive. Comfort radiates through me just by having her on the phone with me.

Maybe I could give it a few months, then reach out to Colby? I can be brave. There's always the possibility that this week meant as much to him. Actually, that's a lie. I know this week meant something to him because Colby isn't an actor at all. He's the one who wanted the week to be real, didn't want me to act at all.

A few more red lights separate me from the interstate. Once I've got cruise control on and I'm heading towards Georgia, maybe things will feel better. The more space I put between us will make it feel less like I'm leaving my heart behind, beating outside of my body.

"You want to stay on the phone the rest of your drive? Or you want to be alone a little bit?"

I sigh and wipe at my tearstained face. "Tell me about your week."

I push through the final red light, heading towards the interstate, when I notice a speeding vehicle cutting through traffic. Wait. Is that the Jeep? My heart practically flies out of my chest. I slow down, and my heart stops when the Jeep pulls up alongside me. Colby's shouting something but I can't hear him through the window.

Rolling the window down, I'm met with a look of relief washing over his face. "Pull into the gas station!"

"Who was that?" Mom asks as I do as Colby said, parking by the air machines.

"Colby," I say in wonder. "Mama, I gotta go. I'll call you back later."

Mom just laughs as I press the end button on the steering wheel. Colby parks the Jeep right behind me, then appears at my door, chest heaving and a sight for sore eyes. Despite having just seen him not even ten minutes ago.

The moment I unlock the door, he roughly tugs it open. His gaze is so heavy, so distraught, concern momentarily overwhelms me. I quickly jump out of the car and cup his cheeks in my palms, rubbing my thumbs under his eyes.

"Hey, what happened?"

"I can't do it."

Butterflies take flight inside me again. But I temper myself. Stay calm. Life is not a movie.

"Can't do what, Colby?"

He tips his cheek into my palm. "I didn't watch you walk away but I felt the loss of you. I felt it in my heart, in my bones. I know this is crazy, it was just a week, but goddamn it, Eli … I think you're supposed to be mine."

Wow. I stare at him in the middle of the gas station parking lot. He stares back at me expectantly, but without an edge of hurry. My always patient Colby.

"You know this is completely crazy, right?" I finally ask.

He nods in total agreement, letting out a high-pitched laugh. I pull my hands away just in time for him to run his own hands roughly over his face, then through his hair. The sandy-blond locks stand up on top of his head. I realize for the first time today just how tired he really looks.

"Yeah, I'm very aware of how crazy this is but that doesn't mean it's not real."

He's got me there. I nod softly and look down at my feet for a moment, gathering my courage. Someone honks behind us, but I barely hear it. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart and Colby's soft breaths as he anticipates my words.

"It was real to me too," I admit softly, unable to look at him.

"Thank fuck," Colby bites out, before tugging me into his arms for a world-shattering kiss. It's not a filthy kiss, there's no tongue, nothing dirty about it, but it's probably the best kiss I've ever had. Because this kiss says, you're mine, let me keep you, this is real. I try to say it back with my mouth, with the bite of my fingers against his biceps.

Finally, Colby pulls away, fluttering kisses across my cheeks, making me laugh.

"Stay with me?" Colby murmurs against my temple. His fingers toy with the curls at the back of my neck as I lean all my weight against him.

"I have a life in Georgia, one that will take time to uproot." But I will uproot. I'll alter my entire life just for a chance at something real with Colby.

"Georgia." Colby laughs a little hysterically. "We've been so close this entire time. I live about four hours East of here."

My nose wrinkles. "In Florida?"

Colby laughs at me, the laugh that makes me smile because it's so damn infectious. So real. So honest.

"That's your blueberry face. The idea of living in Florida makes you have the blueberry face."

"I will make a sacrifice for you."

He kisses me again. Softly, just a chaste press of mouths. "I'd uproot my life to Georgia, but my family is here. There's been a lot of change the past year for them, I don't think they could take that too."

I shake my head and rise up on my toes to hug his shoulders. "Florida can work. I'll have to see about transferring to a college here since I'm mid-program, but it can be done."

Colby freezes, all his muscles going taut under my hands. "The agency said you were twenty-eight."

I chuckle and pull away to look up at him. "I am. I'm getting my doctorate."

His face practically glows. "A doctor?"

"Yeah," I confirm, suddenly embarrassed, feeling a flush spread across my cheeks. "In English literature. I want to do research or teach … I haven't made up my mind yet. But for now I do research and teach a few classes. The school subsidizes paying for the PhD program and pays me to teach."

His hand rubs down my spine, then lands possessively on the small of my back. I suddenly realize we're having this entire conversation at a gas station. Looking around, I'm grateful that no one is paying us an iota of attention. Could go either way in the South really.

"Can you spare a few more weeks with me? Stay with me in Florida. Meet my family. See my house. Then we can decide what to do from there."

More time with Colby sounds amazing. I'm not sure I can say no to him. And I realize with startling clarity that I don't want to say no to him. So, I don't.

"Okay, husband. You can take me home."