Chapter - Twenty-Three

Cyra moved like rippling water as she plucked the spear from the dirt and walked further into the woods. It had grown dark and the trees had become black in the night. She led me to a hut in the woods which was warm inside and well lit with candles. A dark-coloured rug dotted with flower buds was laid over the floors, but when I stepped onto it, I realised it was dried moss. Cyra turned around and gestured for me to leave my shoes at the door.

A small fire blazed in the corner. She added some herbs to it, making the flame turn blue momentarily. I waited in the doorway, noting there were no pictures or decorative items other than a stuffed raven and a necklace hanging near the makeshift kitchen.

‘I thought you lived in the wilderness.'

Cyra laughed, the sound rich and decadent – not a mortal laugh. However, she didn't respond. She busied herself with hanging up her weaponry as I wandered about the room. I stopped in front of the necklace and reached for it to examine it more closely, but before I could touch it, Cyra snatched it away and pocketed it.

‘What was that?' I asked her. ‘It was beautiful.'

‘It is my own.'

I realised she wouldn't elaborate, so I switched topics. Adrenaline was running through me now that I stood comfortably in her home, basking in the glow of the setting sun. ‘Tell me more about my father.'

She raised a brow but motioned for me to sit. ‘You won't want to know.'

‘Why? What's wrong with telling me about him?'

‘He doesn't know of your abilities. And that is good for he would use you. He isn't a good man. You should never seek him out.' I opened my mouth to protest but Cyra shook her head. ‘Sometimes it is better to leave things as they have always been, not as they could be. Finnian is a terrible man. Greedy for immeasurable power and wealth. And all to ensure he is feared.'

‘What good is there in fear?' I asked her.

Cyra's eyes darkened. ‘I always wondered that myself.'

‘At least tell me something of him. More of how you met, what happened to make you both give me up, anything.'

She sighed before she answered me. ‘We met in France. I was there for a wedding and visiting the bride before the ceremony. Finnian was there to talk the groom out of going through with it. We began to bicker once we heard wind of what the other was doing and then we really fought. He shouted that I was a wicked woman and I told him he was a vile man. And then Finnian began to laugh, and I too laughed, for we were being ridiculous.'

Cyra's tone softened, her cheeks hollowing as she remembered.

‘After the wedding, he kept meeting me at the edge of the forest, begging me for my hand. I kept saying no, I couldn't; I had my duty to the forest. I knew he wanted me for my power and strength, to join his circle. I would not leave my forest behind. So he brought his circle to me and we joined beneath the moonlight, hand in hand, creating you. You were born nine months later and from the beginning of my last term, your father said we couldn't keep you.'

My heart hurt. ‘Why?'

‘Like I said, we are not the parents you wish for. He didn't want to be a father, be a dad. He had other things of importance to complete, like his circle, which ended up going rogue after we gave you to Angie. He couldn't handle the power he had nourished, the anguish of losing a daughter to mortals, or seeing himself become who he was. So he left me, and we never spoke after giving you up.' Her eyes were crescent moons, dark and full of sorrow. ‘He did not want me anymore either. I have seen him once since, and he did nothing but give me a nod, like I was just another acquaintance. Neither you nor I mean anything to him, not when there is power to gain.

‘So you should not look for him. Not seek him out. Finnian isn't a good man and his loyalties lie with those who can feed him more power. I was useless after losing you. I wept for weeks. Even after he left, I could do nothing but mourn. You were my baby and I wanted you but he stole that experience from me too, convinced me I wasn't fit to be a mother. And I have always believed him. But now, here, looking at you, I wonder what could have been.'

I hitched in a breath as I answered. ‘I'm so sorry he did that to you. You would have made a great mother. And you still can be. I want to know you.'

Cyra laughed, but it was deceiving. ‘No. I am not a good fit for you, Tabitha. I think it best you leave shortly and not think of me again.'

‘I can't just ignore my heritage.'

‘Yes, you can.' She wiped her eyes dry. ‘I will show you home.'

‘Please. Don't leave it like this.'

‘I have to. You are not safe with me anymore. I will send you back to Volker.'

Her voice was dismissive and she stood up, clutching the necklace in her hands.

I followed her with my eyes but did not move from where I sat. How can she just give up? ‘I can't just leave. Not now. Not when there's so much more to know.'

‘Your warlock will be panicking.'

‘So what?'

She made a noise of annoyance in her throat. ‘Please stop pushing me. He will wonder why the portal closed.'

‘Did you close it?'

Cyra snorted, her nostrils flaring. ‘Of course. No warlock shall dare enter my forest. Especially none like Volker. He would hurt my oak tree roots.'

‘Can you please let me stay?'

‘No!' she cried out. ‘I cannot have you here for too long. Your protection spells are hindered in the forest you were created in. Can you not hear me? You aren't safe.'

‘Who are you protecting me from?' I asked her quietly, listening to the rustle in the trees. I felt uneasy. ‘Who follows me?'

‘Finnian does. He will seek you out. I must banish you from these woods, Tabitha.'

‘Please let me know what's at stake. I can't go back home blind.'

The walls creaked and the flowers that bloomed over the moss carpet suddenly closed up. Cyra stilled and looked at her hands where the necklace was. She opened her hands to reveal it to me. It was a tiny pendant, shaped like a diamond, with a gem of gold sitting in the middle. The diamond rattled as she moved her hands gingerly, placing the necklace in my awaiting palms. I studied it, curious as to why she had hidden it.

‘This can be used to find me. Call upon the forces of my forest and I will be with you. But please, only use it when you're in real danger. I cannot leave my forests unprotected for too long and it has dark power properties. Its protection wards off energies deemed threatening, so Finnian cannot seek you when you wear it.'

I looked up at her, curious. ‘Volker said my father and you have dabbled in strange black magic.'

‘Yes.'

‘Is this part of it?'

She dipped her head. ‘Black magic is not as terrifying as others will tell you. It can be beautiful and useful. Only use this when you need it most.'

‘I will.'

Cyra nodded, looking away from me. ‘I think it best you leave now.'

My heart yearned for her. I wanted to hug her and cry and tell her about my life. But I knew she needed time to become comfortable with the fact that her daughter had found her. So I gathered myself from the chair, followed her back to the little clearing in the forest, and watched her create a portal made of dried leaf and twig, almost translucent in colour. Where it would take me, I didn't know. But I trusted Cyra.

I stared at the black hole in the middle of the portal. Nothing inside of it moved. ‘Where does this go?'

‘To the last place you inhabited.'

‘But I don't see anything inside of it.'

She smiled when I turned around to look at her. ‘Because I am not a portal maker, I cannot reflect the inside of a portal. But it will take you where you last were. I promise you.'

‘When will I see you again?'

‘When the sun is high and the waters are clear, I will be there.'

I frowned slightly. ‘That's so vague.'

She let out a peel of laughter. ‘Goodbye, Tabitha. It is good to have seen you as you are. I do hope you find yourself now.'

‘I'll do my best,' I promised her, stepping through the portal. As I turned back, she smiled at me and nodded.