15. Adrianna

15

ADRIANNA

A fter the best sleepover ever, the weekend finally arrived and passed by in such a blur that it feels wasted.

It's not , I remind myself. One thing I learned while becoming a hermit was that last week's mess was wreaking far too much havoc on me, and the only person who can stop it is little old me.

Even without a pep talk from my father, I've got a new mantra that echoes in my mind.

No more fading out in classes.

No more losing sight of what's important.

No more free falling into dark thoughts and feelings.

Focus. That's my new mantra. Just focus.

I gave myself the weekend to get over myself, and now here I am, Monday morning, all sweaty and panting from my early morning run. I anticipated Raiden or Cassian making an appearance and spoiling my mood, but to my surprise, it was a complete success on my end.

The perfect start to the day. Accomplished. Focused .

Stepping into the shower, I hurry through the mundane task of washing the workout away before I dress in my gray combat pants and long-sleeved tee. Fixing my cloak in place, I'm slightly impressed with myself for remembering to bring my fresh clothes into the communal bathroom with me.

Another sign that today is going to be a good day.

I'm just finishing up twisting my hair into a crown braid when the door opens and Flora sticks her head in.

"Hey, are you ready?"

"If I say no, can we watch the final season of The Office instead?" I pout, silently pleading. We really did watch that much at our sleepover, and now she's prolonging the inevitable, even though she has a new series lined up for us after this—something called Brooklyn 99 . I'm taking her word on it being good.

"But once you've watched it, you know you can't rewatch it, right?"

I roll my eyes at the same line she's given me all weekend. I threatened to watch it alone, but we both know I would never. "The alternative you're giving me is to never watch it at all."

She ignores my pointed look, waving for me to follow her out into the hall. Arlo is waiting against the wall, knee bent and foot propped behind him. He doesn't see me. His eyes are fixed on the sassy red head right beside me.

I bite back my smile, turning for the stairs. Stepping outside, I'm relieved when I'm not bombarded with any of my Kryptos or professors eager to drag me into an unnecessary meeting and piss me off. Instead, the three of us fall into a comfortable calm that adds a spring to each step I take.

My Kryptos. I shake my head. They're not my anything, and I need to remember that. Especially since I've managed to avoid them all weekend.

"What drama are we anticipating this week, ladies?" Arlo asks, smirking as his gaze settles on me. I glare at him, but that only seems to make his grin grow wider. Ass.

"We're anticipating none. We're focused completely on what we're at the academy to do and what we want the future to look like," I reply, pleased with myself once again, but the nod he gives me tells me I'm either full of shit or delusional.

As we pass the fountain and head toward the academy building, the pathway fills with more students. My stomach grumbles, reminding me I need to eat.

Heading into the dining hall, I immediately feel four sets of eyes fall in my direction. I'm acutely aware of them. From where their gazes touch my skin to the way they make my heart react. My head pleads with me to turn toward the food counter, while my body leans toward them.

Despite my efforts, I turn in their direction, casting my gaze over each of them one at a time.

It's like I've been starved going so long without seeing them, and now I'm finally being nurtured again.

Brody's blond hair is messy, matching his crazy personality. His eyes shimmer with a jolt of excitement that I feel running down my spine. Cassian sits beside him, jaw tight and eyes narrowed at me. At this stage, I'm aware this is his default look, and it really shouldn't be so hot. Kryll peers over his shoulder, his stare assessing while his features work extra hard at giving nothing away. The smallest tell I can find is the shift of his twitchy tattooed fingers as he clenches them on the tabletop. Raiden, the usual aggressor, looks pale, distant, and almost…small in his seat.

I turn away, quickly reminded that I hate him right now, but before I can go to choose my food, an arm drapes around my shoulders.

"Good morning, Dagger. I'm glad you're no longer hiding. Now, come on, I have food for you."

My lips twist as I turn toward Brody. I consider declining, but my feet move on their own as he pulls me along to the table.

He pulls out my usual chair between Kryll and Raiden before hurrying around to his spot. I glance back to look for Flora and Arlo, only to find them huddled close, talking about something as they wait for food.

Someone clears their throat and I turn back to the table, finding a plate piled high with pancakes, bacon, and maple syrup.

"Who expects me to eat all of this?"

"Have you eaten anything at all over the weekend?" Cassian grunts, pointing his fork at me accusingly.

"I've eaten," I rasp, caught by surprise, but the nod he gives me tells me he doesn't believe me.

When he doesn't bark another question at me, I turn my attention to my plate and dive in. I can still feel them all looking at me, and I all but pray that I at least half look like I'm not faltering under their gazes.

"You've been avoiding us," Kryll states when I place my cutlery down, having devoured half of the plate, I can't stomach a single bite more.

I look up, catching sight of Flora and Arlo watching me intently. I was working so hard to avoid the distracting men around me that I didn't even realize they had joined us.

Focus, Addi.

"Why is that?" Brody adds, eager for an answer.

I sigh. "Because I need a minute to think."

"About what?" Raiden chimes in, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip as he quirks a brow at me.

"About whatever I want."

"Which is?"

"None of your business," I bite, unable to contain my irritation.

He growls, the sound low and deep, worming its way to my core as he rises to his feet. Anger vibrates through him, but it does nothing to shift the despair in his eyes. He stares down at me, eyebrows furrowing before he suddenly spins for the exit, storming off without a backward glance.

I watch him.

Every. Step.

Right up until he gets to the door and pauses.

My heart lurches in my chest as he turns just as suddenly as he stopped, marching back to me with purpose. I'm rooted to the spot, watching his strides until he's right back in front of me. His hands slam down on the table with force, rattling the cutlery, and his eyes narrow on mine.

"Do you know how worried I was about you?"

I gape at him, keenly aware that there are more eyes on us than just those at our table.

"I'm going to take your silence as a no, but let me lay it out for you. Your friend, she told me I had to give you space, and I did, I fucking did, but here you are, with your damn sass, cold shoulder, and beautiful, beautiful face."

His nostrils flare, his dark hair unkempt as he runs his fingers through the ends. My tongue is frozen in my mouth as my brain short-circuits, and before I can function at all, he waltzes around again, barreling toward the exit.

A mixture of emotions strike me.

The desire to race after him takes hold, but remembering seeing Nora in The Council's grasp renders me motionless in my seat.

"So…class?"

I look at Flora, a small glimmer of contentment blossoming in my gut as I nod, eager to take her offer.

"Yeah."

Hurrying to my feet, I keep my eyes fixed on the exit, not slowing my stride until the fresh air hits me. I give myself the opportunity to take in three deep breaths, failing to calm myself. Apparently, a weekend hiding away leads to a Monday morning of awkwardness, and I don't know what to do about it.

Fuck.

So much for focus.

Straightening my spine and rolling back my shoulders, I silently give myself a pep talk before I feel someone come to a stop beside me. Assuming it's Flora, I take off, thankful for her silent company, only to peer up at Kryll after a few steps. I falter, and the tight smile he offers resonates inside of me.

"Have you heard from your family?" he asks softly, turning away from me as we keep in step.

"Yeah," I manage, my blood spiking at the mention of my loved ones.

"Are they okay?"

I nod, clearing my throat. "I'm sorry, I feel like I haven't thanked you properly for?—"

He lifts his hand, waving me off. "It's not necessary."

"Well, I appreciate it," I murmur, biting back a smile.

I glance up at him, only to find him already looking at me.

"If you ever change your mind about knowing where?—"

"I won't," I snap, a little too harshly, cutting him off.

His brows knit together. "But?—"

"I won't, Kryll," I bite, my pulse ringing in my ears as my face heats.

This time, when he lifts his hands, it's in surrender. "Whatever you say, Princess." Without another word, he takes off, the classroom coming into view, and he makes a beeline for his brother.

"Kryll, I didn't…" My words trail off, his attention focused elsewhere, and I come to a stop at the edge of the growing group of students.

Helplessly looking around, I spot Raiden, but a bubble of embarrassment has me turning away.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Desperation has me glancing back over my shoulder, considering a swift exit despite the little mantras I worked on all weekend. Flora raises an eyebrow at me and I sigh, folding my arms over my chest as I look at her pleadingly.

"Am I being a bitch or just repelling the assholes in my life?" The words taste weird on my tongue, but they need to be spoken. I'm not sure why I suddenly care, but here I am, lost in them even more than I thought.

"A mixture." There's not a single ounce of uncertainty in her answer, and it makes me cringe.

"You're supposed to be on my side, Flora," I grumble, my arms tightening around my middle.

"That's why I'm giving you the truth, bestie," she promises, making Arlo scoff.

"This is what happens when she loves you, Addi. Get used to it," he muses, and I roll my eyes.

"Fine, but I'm not saying I like it."

Although, her truth settles something inside of me.

"Good morning, my least favorite group of assholes," Professor Tora hollers, calling everyone's attention to him. I spot Kryll rolling his eyes at his brother's choice of addressing us, and it makes me smirk. Just a little. "I hope you're all up for an adventure."

"The last time you said that, I was almost killed." Vallie's shrill voice fills the air as she comes into view. The desire and need to do it all over again vibrates through me, but a hand clamps down on my shoulder as I take a step.

"Not yet." The gruff order comes from Cassian, his fingers curling tighter, forcing me to stop.

I appreciate that he didn't say no and went with not yet instead.

"I don't care if you live or die, Miss Prissy," Tora shouts, giving her a pointed look before turning his attention to the rest of the group. "Buckle up. We're off to Glacial Lake."