8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Lorne

“He’s not coming,” Declan says.

His hands are buried in his pockets as he shuffles his feet back and forth. He didn’t want to come tonight. He wanted to stay in his room and beat the shit out of himself for being who he is.

“Can you blame him? He loves you, Declan, and you love him. The sooner you admit that to yourself, the easier our lives will be.” I take another drag of my cigarette before tossing it on the ground and crushing it underneath my Italian leather boot.

“It’s not the love I have a problem admitting.”

I know, but his problem is like the elephant in the room: none of us know how to address it or fix it. So we do what we know; sex and violence.

I clap my hand on his back and shrug. “We’re all a little fucked up, man. Rejection is hard for him.”

Declan gazes up at the sky, refusing to meet my eyes. He’s focused on a dark cloud, or maybe the moon, some fragments of a fatherly figure he never had and always desperately wanted.

“Nothing’s up there, Dec. Your entire life, they’ve made you believe in an invisible man in the sky who’s going to bring you a reward or subjugate you in hellfire. It’s all a fucking lie. Every single ounce of it. A fabrication created to gain control.”

“We’ve all got our coping mechanisms. Mine’s hope.”

“The thing about hope is that it’s not something someone can give you. Hope is something only you can give yourself.”

“Well, look at you getting all philosophical.” Cas appears with a shit-eating grin.

I don’t know what’s happened in the last two hours that’s made him do a complete one-eighty. He went from a melancholy asshole who sat up in his room playing metal versions of some Patsy Cline song on his guitar to pretending the moment in Declan’s room never happened.

“I’m glad you made it, brother.”

He pulls out a joint from his pocket and lights it, taking a long haul. His eyes fall on Declan, “There’s not much a good fuck, great music, a night ride on a motorcycle”—he holds up the joint—“and one of these bad boys can’t fix.”

“So you’re good,” I ask.

“What’s there not to be good about?” Cas takes one more drag of his joint before putting it on the ground with his boot. “Now, let’s get in there and fuck some pussy.”

Declan stops in his tracks. “Is that why you brought me here? To go chase some tail?”

I walk past the groups huddled on the front porch and into the frat house. Body after body crowds the area. The place is a human sardine can. The smell of alcohol, sweat, cum, and female arousal hits my nostrils like a punch in the face. In every corner of the room, people are trying to get off.

“Not precisely!” I yell behind me to Declan. “We’re here to make sure no one touches our property.”

Cas pushes through the crowd, moving in front of me. “Wet pussy that I’m getting in tonight, one way or another.”

I sigh in frustration. Cas’s ego is going to get the better of him and fuck us all. “We’re not getting in her one way or another. We don’t fuck girls who say no.”

Cas grins at me, pulling out a little baggie of white dust from his pocket. “I’ve got party favors.”

“What the fuck is that?” I ask.

“Sleeping pills. Put a little in her drink. Fuck, she’d look so hot asleep. I mean, I wouldn’t put my dick in her cunt or anything, but I wouldn’t mind cumming on that sweet pussy and taking a few snapshots for the spank bank.”

“Let’s find her first.”

Cas doesn’t seem to hear me as he takes the steps two at a time.

“Why the fuck are you running upstairs? Cas, we don’t have time for this shit.”

Cas turns to me with the same rage-filled expression he had on campus the day we saw her with that little motherfucker. “I saw Peter take her upstairs. And she didn’t look like she could stand on her own two feet. That motherfucker gave her something.”

I don’t let Cas finish the sentence. I push past him and fly up the stairs. I hear Declan and Cas’s frantic footsteps behind me. Cas doesn’t need to worry about Peter because if he touches even a hair on her head, I’ll rip him apart, limb from limb. I warned that motherfucker not to go near her again, and I always follow through with my warnings.