36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Noelle

I’ve always been attracted to the broken. Not because I have a desire to fix them, more a need to love them. So it’s fitting that I would be launched into the middle of three flawed, damaged, and battered men. Three men who have found a family with each other, even though they’ve never known one themselves. Their lives might be chaotic, dysfunctional, and violent, but their hearts, even while wrapped in a maze of thrones, are tender.

I rise from Cas’s lap and pace the room, relieved we’re the only ones in the restaurant. “I have a life here. I’m not willing to leave it.”

Lorne leans back in his chair. “We’ll move. I have a private jet. We can easily move back and forth between France and the U.S.”

“You can’t do anything without my consent.”

Cas raises his arms. “I think I’m free of that.” He points to Lorne and Declan. “It was these two who touched you that first night while you were passed out.”

“Can we drug you with you permission?” Declan asks, his eyes cast down as if he’s embarrassed for asking the question.

“Why do you want to drug me?”

Declan wrings his hands, not meeting my eyes. “It’s easier. When you’re asleep, it’s easier.”

“So you want to only fuck me when I’m sleeping?”

“I don’t hurt you when you’re not awake.”

I approach him, placing my finger under his chin, and lift his face. I want him to look me in the eye, so I know he hears what I’m about to say. “You’ve never hurt me.”

He grips my hips, hauling me to him. “That night, the night before you left. It was because of me.”

“No! I left because of the whole situation. We went from zero to sixty. I needed time to process. But if you’re worried about the sex, don’t be. Apparently, I like it rough. What I don’t like is being shut out, and not knowing who you are. That’s what hurts me.”

Goosebumps form on my arms as Declan trails his hands up them until he frames my face. Our foreheads touch and my breath hitches as he crushes his lips to mine. The kiss contradicts every other touch I’ve known from this man. It’s not fevered or rough. There’s no puncture from his teeth on my lips. No pain at my scalp from him pulling my hair. The kiss is soft, consumed with compassion, and wrapped in care. It begs for forgiveness and promises the world. This kiss is Declan’s way of asking me to stay.

He pulls away from me, his steel-gray eyes searching mine. “So, drugging and fucking is on the table?”

I can’t help smiling because Declan is. It’s the first time he doesn’t seem lost in pain. “If you go to therapy.”

“Wait, what? Why do I have to go see a shrink?” He points to Cas and Lorne. “Do they have to? No way Cas will go. He’ll get annoyed and kill the therapist.”

“No, they don’t. Only you.”

“What if I say no?”

“Then I will too.”

Declan traces my face with the pad of his finger as if trying to imprint on me through touch. “Well, I’m a lot of things, but not a liar.”

The room spins and I yawn, desperate for my bed.

“I’ll go to therapy, Eve.”