28. TJ

28

TJ

I didn’t plan to be in San Francisco.

My schedule said that it was time to return to New York.

I have meetings and whatnot, including one coming up any day with Webflix. I’d figured I’d be in New York, prepping for it.

You don’t miss a meeting with the world’s biggest streaming service. Not when it’s optioned the rights to your best-selling book.

But when I talked to my agent the other day, he made it clear I needed to stay the fuck out of the scene of the crime for a few more days.

“New York is getting you down, TJ. Go west, young man. Head to San Francisco. Meet a guy. Go on a date. Maybe that’ll inspire you,” he’d said to me. “Then, we’ll do the meeting.”

I’d like some inspiration, thank you very much.

I’d like it to fall from the sky, jump out of a doorway. Hell, it could come in the form of a scary clown, rising up out of a sidewalk grate.

I need it. Badly.

So I said yes, and ventured here after Friendsgiving. I’ve been kicking around San Francisco for a few days.

But I’m not inspired, even at the Lazy Hammock, so I’ve been dateless.

Story of my life for the last year.

I can’t complain though. Aside from romance, my life is good. Even though seeing all these guys around me find their happily-ever-afters tugs on my heart.

Makes me wish mine hadn’t cratered so spectacularly.

But as I knock back the rest of my drink, listening to Owen and River catch up with Grant and Declan, I reason maybe it’s safer this way, on this side of heartbreak. Just getting to be the guy who’s happy for his friends.

That’s what I tell Owen when I leave the bar that night, pulling him in for a hug. “So happy for you, O,” I say.

“Thanks. You gave me the kick in the pants to make it happen.”

“Nah. You didn’t need me.” I rap my knuckles against his sternum. “You found that kick in the pants right there, my friend.”

I say goodbye, then I leave, heading out into the San Francisco night.

Alone.

Maybe someday I’ll be ready again.

Maybe someday soon.