Chapter Eight

Perry

Theo has been talking to the blonde for like an hour. It's not something I should notice or be paying so much attention to, but I am.

She's touching him…a lot—a hand on the shoulder, his arm, nudging him, and once she even laid her head against his chest. I can't say if it was done playfully or what, but it made me feel…funny. A little jittery and like my skin is shrinking.

Is he going to hook up with her? It won't be a mix-up if he goes home with her. The thing is, if they're both interested, he should go enjoy himself with her tonight. From what he's told me, he was with that Whitney girl for almost two years and hasn't gotten any since the end of the school year. He could probably use an orgasm or two, but damn if part of me doesn't still wish I could be the one to give them to him.

He's straight, he's straight, he's straight.

"You're staring." Ty bumps my arm with his.

"No I'm not."

"Okay, and I didn't just stand here for five minutes watching you watch him."

"Creep-er," I reply in an exaggerated voice.

Ty chuckles.

"Autumn is trying hard but doesn't seem to be getting anywhere, if that makes you feel better. I don't think he's interested."

I start wiping down the counter. So that's the woman's name… "Why would it make me feel better? I don't care if he hooks up. We're just friends."

"Okay, and I didn't want to bone Brax from the moment I saw him."

"I'm not saying I wouldn't fuck him, but I know it's not gonna happen. He's my friend, so I'm cool with that. I wouldn't want to blur the lines now."

"Well, his friend wants to bang you, so you have options."

The flirting didn't go unnoticed, and Jack is hot, but sleeping with someone who's close to Theo would be weird. I should consider getting on an app, and there was also a woman here flirting with me earlier…maybe she's interested.

"Hey, Perry." Gwen steps up beside us, playing with the ring in her nose. "You wanna go on your break?"

"Sure." I toss the towel at Ty, refuse to allow myself to look at Theo, then head through the bar, to the kitchen, and then down the hallway that leads to the back door to go outside for my break. I smell the saltwater, inhaling a deep breath into my lungs. Fuck, I love the ocean. There's something both beautiful and terrifying about it.

The air is still warm despite it being almost midnight. That's one of my favorite things about Southern California. I didn't love the cold weather back in Mass. It's like a fucking paradise here and—

"Hey," Theo says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

He sneaks around the corner from the front of the building. Waves crash against the sand in the distance, mixing with the thump, thump, thump from the music inside.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I saw you leave, and I hoped I'd find you here…" He shrugs.

"You followed me?"

"When you put it that way, it sounds weird. I just wanted to say hi."

"Hi." I lean against the wall.

"So…not sure if you noticed, but Jack wants to sleep with you."

I chuckle. "Yes, I noticed."

He joins me against the building, his arm touching mine. "Are you gonna?"

"Nah, he's hot, but I'm not interested."

"You think he's hot?"

I wink. "Simmer down, Puppy. He's not a nine."

"I wasn't… I don't… It doesn't matter to me if you think he's a nine."

I don't believe him, and besides, I'm trying to figure out why he cares. Is it just because it makes him feel good? And for whatever reason, I don't think he's let enough things make him feel good in his life. I don't think a lot of people have told him he's sexy, and if they have, he didn't believe them. He seems to believe me, though.

"What about you and Autumn?"

He does that adorable thing where he wrinkles his nose and forehead, all confused. "What about her?"

"Oh my God! Theo! Please tell me you realize she's been flirting with you! I could see it from across the room."

He hesitates for a moment, then slowly says, "No, um…I noticed."

"No, you totally didn't, you dumbass," I say teasingly. "But now I guess I don't have to feel bad about my flirting skills. I'd been thinking I suddenly sucked at it since you couldn't tell what I was doing. Now I know it's not me—it's you."

"I knew she was flirting with me!" He crosses his arms, and for the first time, I see him pout. His bottom lip pushes out a little and everything.

Chuckling, I wrap an arm around his shoulders. "Don't feel bad. It's adorable."

"That I'm an idiot?"

I frown. "You're not an idiot. I don't ever want to make you feel that way. You're just…humble. Not full of yourself. I don't think you see how irresistible you are."

"What the fuck ever. I'm totally not irresistible." He tries to walk away, but I grab ahold of him and tug him back. It puts Theo in front of me, boxing me in against the building, and close…so close I can smell the slight hint of sweat mixed with his cologne.

"You don't see yourself clearly. Nine. You're a nine, Theo."

It takes me a moment to realize my hands are on his hips. The heat of his body makes my fingertips tingle, even through his T-shirt. What's even more surprising is the warmth from his skin against me too, his hands holding on to my hips the same way I'm doing with his.

"Say it," I add, though I'm not sure why I'm pushing this.

"Say what?"

"You're a nine."

"You're a nine." He cocks a brow.

"You know that's not what I mean."

He shakes his head. "I'm not gonna say it."

"You've said it before."

"That was different. Now it feels weird."

I can see what he means, but still, I don't let it go. Theo makes me act all sorts of different from how I usually act. "Please? For me? Your knight in shining armor. I did save your life, after all…and I'm your new best friend."

He rolls his eyes. "I said friend. You added the best."

"Please?" I grin and tighten my hold just a little bit.

He looks at me and…wait…are we closer? I can feel the heat of him against my stomach now, feel his body against mine, see flecks of gold in the green of his eyes.

"I'm a nine," Theo says softly, almost a whisper, his breath against my face.

And damned if I don't want to lean in, if my heart's not suddenly beating faster, which is totally not supposed to happen. I don't get…whatever this is. An almost kiss.

I brush my finger across his hip bone, and Theo sucks a breath through his teeth, but his hold on me tightens. Neither of us moves, we don't part, just breathe each other's air and stare in each other's eyes and—

The back door of Shenanigans pushes open. "Perry!" Theo jolts away from me like I electrocuted him as Ty says, "Oh shit. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't. We weren't… I'm not… It was just…" Theo rambles, and I chuckle.

"We were just talking. I'll be right in."

"Okay. Sorry for interrupting nothing. I know how shitty it can be to have someone interrupt nothing."

I shake my head. My brother is a fucking idiot. "Go away, Ty."

"Having a brother is fun!" he says before closing the door.

"I should…go…" Theo doesn't look at me when he speaks.

Shit. Did I do something wrong? I wasn't going to kiss him…I don't think. There really shouldn't be any question because Theo told me who he is, and I need to respect that. "Sure. I need to get back to work anyway. Are we good, though? I wouldn't have—"

"Yeah!" he interrupts with a little too much energy. "We're great! Bye… I… Bye." Then he ducks around the corner and walks away. With a sigh, I go back inside, hoping that whatever that nothing was, it didn't fuck up our friendship.

I get upthe next morning and check my phone for a text from Theo. He's an everyday messager, which I have to admit would bug me with most people, but it doesn't with him. There's nothing there, but that's not too out of the ordinary. Maybe he's sleeping. Maybe he ended up going home with Autumn and stayed up all night, getting laid.

Maybe he's going to ignore me because we almost kissed last night.

Ugh. Why the fuck am I letting myself think things like that? I've known the guy for a week. It's not like we had a lasting friendship, and that's fine by me.

I grab my laptop from the nightstand and pull up the code I've been working on for months but can't seem to get right. It's for a parental app, which I know sounds ridiculous for someone like me—a twenty-two-year-old guy with no kids, who's never even been in a serious relationship—but I know being a single parent was something my mom struggled with. Ty's dad sent money to help take care of me, so while I didn't grow up as wealthy as Ty, I didn't truly lack for anything. But my mom worked, and she had a hard time finding babysitters and things like that. I've done enough research to know how much of a struggle finding resources as a parent can be.

I'm not sure why I think I'm the one to do anything about it, or if this is even a good idea, but it's something I've been playing around with for ages. Tech stuff has always come naturally to me. In a lot of ways, I hate it. I don't want to have something in common with Ty's dad. I don't want to feel like I inherited something I enjoy from the bastard who went around getting women pregnant, not being in their lives and cheating on his wife. The problem is, I actually like tech. I love it, but I don't know if I have it in me to ever let myself really have it.

Because of him. I hate giving him that control over me, but I can't seem to help it. My mom is the only person in the world who knows I'm good with code and computers. I've thought about telling Ty, but I know he'll push me to do something about it and to let his dad help me, and I don't have that in me.

How can I, when I know he never really wanted me? Never cared enough to even have a secret relationship with me. The only reason he's doing so now is because his secret is out in the open.

I sit at the desk in my room and work for a couple of hours, absolutely not checking my phone every little while to see if Theo texted.

When my phone rings, the screen lighting up with Mom, I answer the call. "How's my favorite person in the world?"

"Such a charmer you are. Are you just as sweet to all the hes, shes, and theys you meet in California?" While I call myself bisexual, I could also use the label pan. I'm into anyone. I just like people and…well, sex. My attraction to others doesn't really have boundaries, and Mom knows that.

"Of course I am."

"Anyone serious?"

"Is there ever anyone serious?" I toss back.

"Perry…"

"And who are you dating again?" Mom hasn't been serious about anyone my whole life. When I was young, I didn't really get it, but as I got older, she just said she didn't need anyone in her life other than me. I try to tell her she should date. She swears she's not in love with Ty's dad, but I hate the idea of her being alone, especially since I moved to California.

But as the silence grows, goose bumps spread across my skin. "Mom…do you have a boyfriend?" I fake-gasp.

She giggles, fucking giggles, which absolutely isn't something I've ever heard my mom do when it comes to something like this. "Holy shit. Tell me everything about him. I need to meet him—and he better know that my mom deserves the best, and if he isn't that, me and him are having words."

"She," Mom finally says, softly, like she's unsure how I'll take it.

"Go Mom! Are you coming out to me right now? This is incredible. I wish I were there to hug you. Why didn't you ever tell me?" It's not like she hasn't known about me forever. There's not a bigoted bone in her body, and she knows there's not one in mine either.

"I didn't know. I always thought I was straight, but I met her and…I don't know. Everything clicked. It's still new, so who knows if it will last. I just didn't feel right about not sharing it with my favorite person in the world."

My heart swells. She's the best. I don't understand how Ty's dad could have ever hurt her the way he did. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Now, tell me all about your girlfriend. What's her name?"

"Samantha. She goes by Sam."

I listen as Mom tells me about her. She sounds giddy, and that makes me giddy for her. I don't know if I'm supposed to be surprised about Mom figuring out her sexuality later in life, but I'm not. No two people are the same, no two experiences either, and I do think sexuality can be a spectrum for some people. Some of us know—I always have—but some of us don't, and that's okay too.

We chat for about half an hour before I say, "Next time, I expect Sam to be there so I can meet her over a video call."

Mom chuckles. "I'll see what I can do." She's quiet for a moment, and I know what's coming before she asks, "Have you spoken to your father at all yet?" He lives in Boston, but I think with my living with Ty, she thinks Ty's dad and I have more of a chance to get to know each other now than we did when I lived there.

"Nope."

"Okay. That's your choice. You know I'll always support you, but again, I need to make sure you're not doing this for me. I have no expectations when it comes to whether or not you have a relationship with him. No one can make that choice but you, and I'll support you no matter what you decide."

I have no doubt, but… "I know, Mom. I just…can't."

"Okay, well, maybe you'll change your mind one day."

I don't tell her that I know I won't.

"I love you, Perry."

"I love you too."

We end the call, and I don't even realize what I'm doing until after I hit Send.

Me: Guess what? My mom and I just talked, and she has her first girlfriend!

Damn. Why did I tell Theo that? It's not as if he knows my mom. It's not as if I know him all that well either, but for whatever reason, I'd wanted to share it with him.

Puppy: Wow…that's…wow. You didn't know she's queer?

Me: No. She didn't know either. There have probably been clues she missed or didn't see them for what they were, but now she has a girlfriend, and she sounds really happy.

Again, I question why Theo is the person I'm sharing this with. Why not Ty? But Theo is the first person who popped into my head.

Puppy: That's good. I'm happy for her.

Me: She deserves someone nice.

He doesn't respond right away, so I sit there staring at my phone in a way that makes me want to slam my head into the wall. Why am I so weird over this guy?

Me: How was your night?

Puppy: Good. We had Autumn and a few people over.

There we have it. I know what that is. He's making sure I know he hooked up with someone last night, that the weird moment between us was nothing. And it should have been nothing. All I would have wanted was an orgasm.

Me: I'm glad you had fun.

I add a smiley-face emoji.

Me: You doing anything today?

Puppy: Just hanging with Avery, Casey, and Jack. You?

Me: I work tonight. I'll probably meet up with someone before.

Translation: if you can get laid, I can too.

Puppy: Have fun!

Me: I always do.

We stop texting, but I don't get on an app and don't meet anyone to hook up. Ty and Brax are at the nursing home today, visiting Brax's grandma, so I get back on my computer and spend the rest of the day alone.