Chapter 19

In Leah's experience, happiness could be as fleeting as pleasure for some. And yet, when she awoke the next morning, she couldn't seem to stop smiling about her experiences with Harlan the night before.

The things they had done in this bed made her cheeks burn, a pink tinge flowing over her skin, but she wouldn't change a single moment of it.

As she had not a stitch of clothing to her name, Harlan left a robe out for her use while he went to procure something for her to wear so she might make a modest appearance at the dressmaker's—and possibly a visit with a war hero.

She was sitting in a chair in the main rooms when he returned with several wrapped packages. He wasn't alone. Matthew and Lucas entered the room after him, their arms also heavily laden. Her eyes instantly widened. "My goodness. Did you buy out all of Bond Street?"

As they made a pile on the settee, Lucas was the one who replied delicately, "Ladies require lots of… accessories." He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and glanced at Matthew, who merely chuckled. "We had to ensure you were outfitted properly if you were to step out into London society as the queen's companion whether it is a fabricated truth or not. Either way you will be highly scrutinized."

She glanced at Harlan. "I can see you took me at my word." She got up and started to unwrap all of the fabulous gifts with an eagerness she hadn't expected to feel. It wasn't as though her father had showered her with lavish luxuries, because travel was quite expensive. However, he did offer her a special treat now and then that she appreciated greatly.

Sadly, a single valise that remained at her brother's house was all she had left of those days, as most of her things had been sold off to pay for passage to England after her aunt's death. She had mourned the loss at first, but then she'd reminded herself that they were monetary items and they could not strip her memories away so easily and cruelly.

The first thing Leah opened was a silver gown with small, red roses embroidered throughout the fabric. "It's lovely," she breathed. Holding it up to herself, she swung in a circle and admired the way the fabric whispered against her.

"Lucas selected most of the gowns," Matthew noted. "He has recently studied everything from ladies' fashions to proper comportment in a royal London household, but Harlan selected that one specifically for you, and not because of the role you are about to play."

"Did he?" She smiled at Harlan, who remained oddly silent, arms crossed over his chest. She wondered if he was displeased about something, but perhaps he was still pondering the assassin who remained a real threat.

Sobering a bit in spite of that, she gathered the rest of the items and took them into the bedchamber. "I shall try these on later." When she returned, she rubbed her hands together. "Are you hungry? Does anyone care for some coffee?"

Everyone agreed to the latter, and as they sat down together in the parlor, Leah kept noticing that everyone was smiling and friendly—except for Harlan. His continued lack of speech made her wonder if he was upset with her for some reason. Last night he couldn't have been more caring or gentle, but perhaps the harsh light of day had made him regret his actions.

Leah should be feeling the same. She had told herself to shy away from too much intimacy with Harlan, but she couldn't seem to make her body obey her rational thought. If they chose to part ways when all this was over, the separation would devastate her, but at least she could survive knowing that he was still alive somewhere in the world. Whereas death was a permanent loss that would cripple her heart for the rest of her days, just as her father had suffered, as well as Harlan's mother.

She supposed it was too late to retrieve her emotions at this point. It was useless to tell herself not to fall in love, because after last night, she was convinced that he was the only man for her. Should he not feel the same, she would be crushed, and any attempt at securing happiness after him would be futile. She could possibly find contentment, but she was sure these flutters in her stomach when Harlan entered the room would not be matched by any other.

"How is Benjamin faring?" she asked, since no one had broached the subject yet.

"Quite well," Matthew said with a warm smile. "Thanks to your kind consideration on his behalf. I daresay he will be demanding to be released back into the field to fight for his country as soon as he is able to do so."

Leah nodded. "I'm glad to hear it. I know he would not be happy otherwise." She smiled fondly, thinking of the burly man who had become a friend, like the rest of Harlan's men. But then she sobered when she asked, "Have you heard anything from Hugh?"

Lucas shook his head. "Not as yet, but he gave his word that he would make sure nothing happened to Agnes during his watch in Dudley."

Leah nodded her head, thankful that someone was daring to watch after her unfortunate sister-in-law.

Deciding to push the rest of her disquieting thoughts about Harlan out of her mind, she continued to entertain Lucas and Matthew while they had their coffee, but as they got up to leave, the intention to continue searching the city for their suspect, Leah could feel the tension enter her body. As all save Harlan departed, she considered turning and heading into the bedchamber to inspect her new wardrobe, mostly in an effort to keep herself busy, but she couldn't leave things unsaid between them when she had assumed that all was well.

She looked at Harlan directly. "Is something wrong?"

He blinked. "What?"

His inattentiveness was further indication that something was weighing heavily on his mind. "Are you upset with me for some reason?"

Immediately, his face cleared and he walked over to her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he bent down and gave her a light kiss. "Not at all." All too soon the frown had returned and he turned aside. "But last night, I did allow my passions to carry us both away. That was a mistake. I didn't take the necessary precautions to ensure you wouldn't become with child."

Leah thought Harlan might have mentioned something about the threat to the Crown, or his worry over her involvement, but to speak of his lack of protection had been an unexpected topic when she hadn't thought twice about it. Until now.

Her hand slid down to her stomach. For her, it would be a miracle if she were to have a child that carried part of herself and Harlan, but his crass behavior made her believe it might be the worst thing imaginable.

"I shouldn't concern yourself about it unnecessarily."

He looked at her almost incredulously. "How can you say that? Do you realize how devastating that would be for both of us right now? I would think of nothing but your safety and that of our child."

"Since it is entirely too soon to tell," she said firmly. "There is no need to work yourself into a frenzy. We should be concentrating on the matter at hand." She lifted her chin, determined to change the conversation. "Did you send word to Wellington yet?"

Harlan wantedto send his fist through a wall. The fact that Leah could be so nonchalant about something so important was frustrating, to say the least. He wanted to whisk her away to some secluded place in the country until they could be assured she wasn't expecting.

He couldn't believe he had been so foolish as to not consider the ramifications of his actions, when before, it was all he thought about. It was the reason he was such an asset to the Crown. He had always been able to lay his emotions aside and focus on the task at hand.

From the first moment he'd set eyes on Leah, his attention had been sadly lacking. He could think of nothing else but her from the moment she sat across from him in his carriage. An overwhelming urge of protectiveness had risen within him and some inner sense told him that he would never escape the hold she didn't know she had over him.

While each passing day brought him closer to her, Harlan couldn't act on any further impulse should he want to do so. He had to ensure that the threat to the queen was diminished, and only then might he hope to offer Leah more than just a night in his bed.

Because he wanted her.

And not just her body, but everything that came with it.

He could tell she was upset by the way she'd turned the tide of the conversation. It pained him to think that he might have injured her sensibilities, but again, he was powerless to do anything. Until the assassin was captured, he was still in debt to the Crown. He had to clear that debt in order to be free to do what he wished.

"The duke is expecting us later this afternoon."

She seemed surprised. "Both of us?"

"Of course. It is what you wanted, was it not?"

"Yes, but…" Her lashes fluttered. "I didn't think that he would agree."

"There is a real chance that you could save the queen's life," he pointed out. "For that reason, he is most anxious to meet you. If nothing else, to deduce your character and decide if you can be trusted to do the job accordingly."

"I see." She nodded firmly. "In that regard, I shall have to find just the right dress. The one that might convey a shade of loyalty."

He smiled in spite of his inner thoughts. "Is there such a thing?"

"Blue," she returned without hesitation, and then swept into the bedchamber.

It was amazing to Harlan that, for a woman who was still wearing his banyan, that she might demand respect as the hem trailed out behind her like a royal train.

She left the door open, but Harlan wasn't sure if he was supposed to follow, so he remained in the parlor where he gazed haphazardly out the window.

"Might you assist me?"

Harlan joined Leah, but he was instantly regretting his decision to do so when he walked in and saw her standing in nothing but stockings, a shift and a corset that was left open in the back, the only thing keeping it from falling to the floor was her hand on the front. "Could you lace me up? I am not talented enough to do these on my own."

There was a light, teasing note to her voice, and Harlan was glad that any discord she felt toward him might have passed. However, he was quite discombobulated as he reached out for her laces. He wanted to rip them off of her, rather than cinching them around that smooth body that he vividly recalled caressing all night long.

She must have been feeling the same emotions because he heard a slight hitch in her breathing as his fingers brushed her upper back. He noticed that her hair was left down and pulled to one side so that he might have easier access. He wanted it to fall around his pillow instead, see it spread out like liquid mahogany as he slipped into her welcoming heat.

Swallowing hard, Harlan forced himself to do as she had asked. In record time, he had her laced efficiently.

"Thank you," she said softly.

He inclined his head, but then realized that she couldn't see the action. He had to clear his throat before he could speak properly. "I shall leave you to it."

He hastily retreated before he was tempted to change his mind.

Harlan was exceptionallyproud to have such a vision on his arm as they waited in the parlor for Wellington to arrive. No doubt Leah was nervous, as she'd confessed her eagerness to meet the duke because of his heroics during the war, but thus far, she had kept her composure.

He apologized that he hadn't thought to secure a ladies' maid for her. She waved it away. "I am quite used to taking care of my own needs. My aunt did not employ anyone but a housekeeper three times a week. The rest of the time we were on our own. How do you think I can cook so well?"

From the instant she had left the bedchamber, she was perfectly put together. He'd secured a bonnet and some pins for her, which she had adjusted accordingly. Her cheeks had a natural blush, and in his opinion, she was beautiful enough that no enhancements were needed to bring out her natural comeliness.

When Wellington entered the room, Harlan could tell that the duke took particular note of her loveliness as well. Arthur himself had been in an unhappy union for years, later finding consolation with the wife of a dear friend, Charles Arbuthnot. Now that both women were gone, Harlan could see the toil their deaths had taken on him. Age lines creased his face and he walked a bit slower than before. At least the duke had remained good friends with Charles, and together they shared their grievances of their life together at Apsley House.

Harlan could see the transformation, the light in Wellington's eyes when he set them on Leah. It was obvious he was instantly enchanted by her, and it didn't take long before they were chatting like old friends.

When dinner was served, Harlan remained silent and observed the exchange, happy to allow Leah to carry the conversation about her family and her travels, so that the duke might decide she was a worthy candidate to assist the queen.

When they were getting ready to depart, Wellington pulled him to the side and said, "I like her very much, Harlan. I don't know how you found such a fascinating creature, but you shouldn't let her get away."

Harlan was inclined to agree. "Thank you, Your Grace. I will certainly take your council into consideration once this intrigue has reached its conclusion."

"I'm glad to hear it." The duke glanced over at Leah, who was gathering her wrap from the footman. "I should think someone will snap her up quickly if you don't act soon." He clapped him on the shoulder. "I shall speak with the queen first thing in the morning and get Miss Lindquist settled by the evening."

Arthur's words were still ringing through Harlan's mind as he escorted Leah back to his residence.

"You seem exceptionally quiet," she noted as they removed their outerwear.

He glanced at her. "I suppose I have a lot to consider." He left out the part where he was referring to her.

"I understand." She exhaled heavily. "I thought I might have more time to prepare for the royal household, but I suppose the longer we wait, the more chance we have that the assassin will be able to carry out his task."

"Yes," Harlan mumbled. He sank down onto the settee and loosened his cravat. "Do not worry that you won't charm Her Majesty as you have everyone else you've met."

She offered a coy glance as she moved to kneel down in front of him. Immediately, Harlan froze. When she put her hands on his knees and slid them slowly up his legs, he ceased breathing entirely. "Have I charmed you, Mr. Mathis?"

His brow lifted. "I'm not sure I would use such a simple word to explain what you have done to me, madam."

She started to unbutton the flap of his trousers with slow, torturous ease. "Then what might you call it?"

His focus was riveted on her actions, his cock pulsing with the desire to feel her hot mouth upon him, sucking and stroking him until he exploded with a release that left him gasping.

"I… can't say." He could hardly think of his own name at the moment.

As she reached into his gaping trouser front and grasped him, her smooth hand starting to slide along his length, she said, "Come now, Mr. Mathis. Surely you can think of something."

His brain was frazzled as he watched her torment him. "Madness." The word broke through his lips. "You make me mad."

"Do I?" She licked her lips and Harlan groaned, his hips thrusting upward, eager for her to cover him with her sweet mouth.

"Yes."

"Does it make you mad when I do this?" She leaned forward and finally wrapped her lips around his length. Keeping her focus on him, she slid up and down his shaft, until his entire body tensed.

He ground his teeth together. "Yes."

Her movements became faster, more demanding and Harlan's body coiled. Every sense focused on what she was doing.

This was more than madness.

It was insanity.

As he neared his breaking point, he knew he should stop this, because he wasn't sure it was a good idea to give her this sort of all-consuming power over him.

And yet… it felt so good.

He curled his hands into fists as the wave of pleasure swept over him. He groaned as he spilled himself in her willing mouth.

Afterward, dizziness assailed him, but it was quickly replaced by the need to possess this woman. He leaned forward and kissed her passionately. He urged her to her feet and onto his lap where she straddled his midsection, perfectly open for him.

He slid one hand up her skirts while he continued his onslaught on her body, moving from her neck to the curve of her breasts, he toyed with and teased her until she was just as excited as he was. She started to move her hips in time to his movements along the wet seam of her desire, and soon she was shuddering above him. The tremors were still evident when he slid his cock inside of her.

They both moaned at the sensation of joining together when emotions were already running high. It didn't take long before they were clinging to one another in shared ecstasy.

Afterward, Harlan held on to her. It wasn't until much later when he started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?" she asked with a wonderfully adorable, lopsided smile.

He glanced down. "We didn't bother to get undressed."

She shrugged one shoulder. "It wasn't necessary. We still got what we wanted."

"Yes," he murmured as he cupped her cheek. "That we did."