Chapter 11

Once the inquisition had concluded, Harlan and Leah released their hostage into the local magistrate's care until her story could be corroborated, and then they returned to the festivities. As Harlan spoke to each of his men about what they had learned, Leah could see the wheels turning in his mind. He was already preparing for the next step. She wondered if he ever allowed himself to stop and enjoy life, like a wonderful evening such as this, just for a while.

Tonight, she was determined that he do just that, regardless of the fact he'd lied to her. She could see the grudging respect in his gaze after they had concluded their interview with the maid. She intended for him to admit it.

She intercepted him as he left Lucas. Near the musicians, she walked up to him with a mock curtsy. "Care to partner with me for the next set?"

He gave her a smile that was equally teasing and offered a bow. "I suppose I should be delighted to accept."

"I feel so honored," she retorted dryly.

As they took their positions on the manicured lawn, Leah was glad to find that they were setting up for a waltz. She had always had a particular fondness for the dance. When Harlan began to twirl her about, she complimented his abilities. "You have a particular lightness of foot."

"Thank you." He glanced down at her feet. "You are rather adept yourself."

"I had the honor of dancing the waltz in Austria, where the steps to this lovely set were born."

"Did you?" He seemed impressed. "It was fortunate your father ensured you had the best experiences."

"It was," she agreed. "But there were times I grew weary of the education and instruction. I would have much preferred it if my father and I could have passed a few evenings together in companionable silence. He seemed to believe that we had to entertain or be entertained nearly all the time." She allowed some of those melancholy memories to return. "I think it was because he was bereft without my mother and it was his way of dealing with the grief of her loss."

"People show their devastation in different ways," he said softly.

"True," she agreed. She returned her focus to him. "So, what will you do now?"

She could feel his shoulder stiffen beneath her hand, could see his jaw clench. "I shall go to London to speak with Wellington and decide what the assassin's next move will be."

Leah recounted the information they had recovered from the maid. "I wish she had been of more use. I was sure she had been a spurned lover, but to learn that she had merely passed along some sealed messages and funds to him was not much help at all."

He tilted his head to the side, his focus warming. "It was more than we knew before."

"But it wasn't the names of his accomplices or—"

He threw his head back and laughed richly and she wondered what she'd said that had been so humorous. "Do you believe it is ever that easy?" He sobered. "Conspiracies are not so black and white. There is much work to be done in uncovering the smallest details. I have interviewed countless individuals over the course of my tenure at the Home Office and barely gained a single piece of information that was ever helpful because you have to decide who is telling the truth and who is trying to hide their secrets. Some days I feel as if it is all an impossible task, but then something happens that breaks it all wide open. The pieces fall into place and I am able to accomplish the mission."

"Why do you do it if it is so frustrating with such little reward?"

His hazel eyes were piercing when he said, "Because if I do not, who else will?"

She pondered his words as she recalled what he'd said to her at the cottage before they'd set out this evening. "And if it happens that you want to do something else? Will you be able to walk away from it all?"

He didn't reply for a moment. As the music slowly came to an end, they came to a stop. A muscle worked in his jaw when he replied, "Nothing I've done has ever been simple, Miss Lindquist. I can't imagine that will be either."

With an incline of his head, he offered a bow. She swallowed over the bitter lump of disappointment clogging her throat as he took his leave.

‘There are days I'm not sure if I want to do this anymore… I might have recently discovered another path worth taking…'

Harlan's words from earlier continued to swirl in her mind, but after what he'd just told her, she had to wonder if he would ever leave service to the Crown or find himself consumed by it. If the latter, she was setting herself up for a miserable heartbreak, because after such a short acquaintance, she was finding her emotions were already drastically tangled with his. She wondered if it might be best if she went ahead to her brother's house but discounted the notion almost instantly. Something told her that Harlan was going to need her again.

Harlan was feelingthe strain of his current circumstances. Ironically enough, it didn't have anything to do with the assassin, but rather his complicated emotions toward Leah. It was a concern that they might not find the man before he engaged in some horrifying plot, but at the moment, everything was overshadowed by Miss Lindquist and his desire to possess her.

But at what cost?

How could he explain the sort of things he'd witnessed? There were horrors that would give her nightmares. He didn't want to subject her to that sort of life. He wondered if he was past the point of redemption, in so deep with twisted conspiracies that he wouldn't allow himself to break free. No doubt the chains tying him to the intrigue would continue dragging him back. Where would that leave Leah?

He scrubbed a hand down his face as he started to return to the cottage for something stronger than the weak punch they had offered this evening. He needed a scotch. A strong one. Something that would make him stop thinking about Leah long enough where he could turn his focus back to the task at hand—deciding how to stop the threat to the queen.

He needed to gather his men for a meeting. With a quick word to Benjamin, he quickly went about spreading the word.

As he waited for them to arrive, Harlan poured himself a drink. Hugh walked in with a smirk. "I should have known to just follow the scent of scotch."

Harlan shrugged. "It shocks me that you seem surprised."

Hugh helped himself to a glass and then joined Harlan in the parlor. Taking the bottle, he poured a generous amount of alcohol into the glass. "The other men should be here shortly."

Harlan tapped a finger on his tumbler. "I assume Leah is with your wife?"

Hugh raised a brow as he lifted the glass to his lips and took a slow drink. "Don't you mean, Miss Lindquist?" Harlan didn't reply but continued to glare at his longtime friend. "For someone you haven't known for more than a handful of days, you seem to be on a rather intimate basis with her."

Harlan wasn't prepared to fully explain his life to Hugh just yet, especially when he couldn't quite explain things himself. Instead, he countered with, "I owe her a debt for her wonderful stitching job."

"Is that the only reason?" Hugh murmured, but when it was obvious Harlan wasn't going to offer anything further, he leaned back with a sigh. "If you want to play hard to get, fine. To answer your questions, she is quite content chatting with Marie. They have become fast friends already." Harlan knew Hugh well enough to decipher this was just a reprieve. The subject of Leah would return again, but he seemed to realize that they both had something more imperative to discuss. "Benjamin mentioned what you'd learned from the maid and that you plan to return to London."

Harlan nodded his head in confirmation. "I do."

Hugh lifted the half-empty bottle of scotch as the door opened and Benjamin, Lucas, and Matthew entered. "It looks as if we are going to need more of this."

Lucas gave a mock wince as he noticed the bottle. He pushed his spectacles up his nose. "Oh, my. I suppose it is bad."

"Indeed," Harlan agreed. He sat forward and steepled his hands before him. "I'm sure you can guess when I asked you all here. I am planning to make my way to London at first light. What I need to know is if any of you plan on joining me." He held up a hand. "Before you commit to anything, let me say that I will not hold it against any of you if you prefer to remain behind. Your assistance thus far has been very much appreciated, and I can assure you that it will reach the ears of the Crown about your loyalty, not just to me, but to Her Majesty. Thus far, this endeavor has kept us close to Gravesend, so I understand if you don't wish to travel so far from your families."

Benjamin stepped forward. "I am with you until the end. After that bastard shot at me, I have a personal vendetta to settle."

Harlan nodded, and then looked at Hugh, who grinned in true sarcastic fashion. "As if I could allow the two of you to have all the fun without me."

Next, Harlan's gaze shifted to Matthew.

"Are you going to need a coachman?" the older man asked.

"No. I think it would be best if we travel on horseback, and rather than utilize the inns, we make camp along the way. We need to remain as circumspect as possible. This man will likely be expecting us to use the main roads."

There was a pause, and then Matthew looked at each man in turn. "While I would gladly continue our exploits, I fear my talents these days are best served behind the reins. At my age, I fear I would only be a hindrance, so I will stay behind in Gravesend. Send word if something changes course and I shall be at the ready."

Benjamin clapped him on the shoulder in a friendly manner, while Harlan said, "I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say it has been an honor serving with you to this point."

"I appreciate that," Matthew said, his voice sounding a bit nostalgic. "It was nice feeling as though I was doing some good after the war." He offered one more nod to each of them and said, "Good luck, gentlemen."

After Matthew left, Harlan could feel a tightening in his chest as he looked over at Lucas. "I suppose that leaves the last decision to me." Taking a deep breath, he added, "I think I should go just to keep an eye on the rest of you."

Hugh snorted.

"So, what is the plan?" Benjamin asked. "I assume we aren't resuming our guise as highwaymen."

"He has seen my face, and I'm sure that he is well aware of the rest of our identities as well," Harlan said evenly. "Masks seem redundant at this point." When there wasn't any argument, Harlan laid both of his palms on the table and rose to his feet. "That settles it then. We meet at the windmill and leave at dawn. I suggest you all get some much-needed rest."

Lucas and Benjamin were the first to leave, while Hugh lingered a bit longer. His eyes were focused, his tone serious when he asked, "What do you intend to do with Leah?"

Harlan clenched his jaw. "Leave that to me."

Hugh shook his head, but sighed. "Don't do anything you might regret," he warned.

Harlan threw back the rest of his drink and set the tumbler down with a light clink on the scarred wooden side table. "I will do my best, but something tells me that I should pay a visit to a priest once it is all over to atone for my many sins."

Leah knewsomething was wrong the moment she walked in the door and saw Harlan sitting in the parlor with a grim expression on his face. She raised a hand and set it over her neck as her heart jumped into her throat. "Has something else happened?"

"No." He paused and appeared to reconsider his reply. "Not yet, anyway."

Leah walked over and sat down next to him. That's when she noticed the nearly empty bottle of spirits on the table. "I see you've been imbibing," she said evenly.

"I wasn't alone."

"I have no doubt that is true," she murmured. "Your fellow cohorts were gone for some time. I assume you are making plans to pursue your target?"

He watched her steadily. "We are."

She carefully removed her gloves and set them over the chair arm. "Where might that leave me?" She was almost afraid to hear the answer as she faced him once again.

His focus had never wavered. "I believe you know the answer to that."

She swallowed. Hard. "I thought you didn't want me to go."

"I don't."

"Then why are you determined to send me away now?"

His jaw clenched. "I don't want you to get hurt. I couldn't live with myself if—"

"You seem to forget that I am not helpless." She lifted a brow. "I have encountered bad men before. I am not incapable of holding my own."

She saw the hard glint of determination in his gaze when he said, "That may be true, but the fact remains you don't really know me."

She reached out and covered his hand with hers. "I know enough."

He shoved a hand through his hair as he got up to move restlessly about the room. "No, you don't. Not really. All you know is what I allow you to see. I have taken men's lives without a second's hesitation. I have done terrible things and didn't lose any sleep over it. What sort of man do you think that makes me?"

"One that has done a lot to prove his devotion to his country."

He moved toward her. Urging her to her feet, he took her face in both of his hands. "You forget that the list includes kidnapping an innocent woman."

"You didn't know that then," she whispered.

He closed his eyes, as if he was praying for salvation. When he opened them again, they were haunted, full of the torment of his past. "You don't understand what I'm saying. I am not the sort of man you can trust."

She could smell the alcohol on his breath. "You've had too much to drink. You need a good night's sleep so you can think more clearly." She started to brush past him, but he caught her arm in his grasp.

"Did you not hear what I said?" he growled.

"I did." She lifted her chin slightly. "But that isn't who you are. Yes, you might have done what you needed to in order to survive, but I know that you would never hurt me."

"What makes you so confident?" he challenged.

"Because you would have taken advantage of me a long time ago. Instead, you took a care for my wellbeing."

"And what if I told you that I intended to drag you into that bedroom now and make you agree to be mine?"

Leah's heart started to pound in her chest. She shouldn't bait the beast in its cage, but she couldn't resist calling his bluff. Either way, she vividly remembered what it had been like to sleep next to him and feel his comforting warmth swirling around her. She had never felt more safe. Now, she had never felt more… wanted.

"Is that what you want?" she asked softly.

His throat worked before he spoke, his Adam's apple bobbing anxiously. "I want you. I won't lie about that, because I can't promise anything more than that. One night. It's all I have to offer."

Leah glanced to where his hand was still on her arm. Slowly, she moved toward him, but rather than try to disengage herself, she slid his hand up toward her bodice and let it rest on her breast. Her breathing instantly began to deepen. "I'll take one night because it is all I can offer too."