Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Sitting inside the carriage, Lavinia dozed, while Agnes gazed out the window and clutched at her knees. They had been driving for less than an hour, Briorn far behind, but Orsal still a distant smudge against the loch.

Soon, though, all MacLarsen lands would disappear from sight.

Agnes felt a curious pressure in her chest, a sense of wanting time to speed up and slow down. Her hands kept flexing on her knees, and the carriage's interior felt too warm. How she longed to feel a moving horse beneath her, to feel the wind in her hair and hear Leo's laugh at her side.

Will I be able to ride horses in London?

Hemmed in by a river, rows of buildings, and endless Society rules… probably not. Moreover, her father did not seem the sort to allow women to have any bit of fun. No wonder her sister Emma had left.

At least I'll get to meet her—finally.

Ahead, the sun finally stretched and rose, the distant horizon a blush of color. She tried not to think of Briorn rousing, too. She recalled her first morning at Briorn Castle, tiptoeing downstairs, and then finding Kristie, who led her to the Great Hall and told her not to worry if Leo wasn't there, and how happy they'd been that he'd attended at least part of the festivities the night before. She also thought back to her first night at Briorn—the bonfire and delicious cake—and looking for Leo.

Her shoulders slumped. Ah, then he'd just been annoyed at her. Perhaps he always had been and had strived to hide it. But no, that did not account for how he'd kissed her the first time—or the last time.

Such thoughts were uncharitable and bitter. Yet, she wished, suddenly, that she did not care for Leo so much. That she did not see in him the husband he could be. The one who would offer to dance with her just as he had bought her all those dresses and let her ride horses and had made love to her?—

Drawing in a deep breath, Agnes fought back tears. She had wasted too much time weeping this past week. It did no good.

At least she was married, which gave her a kind of freedom. She'd heal and have a good life. Somehow.

But it will not be this life.

She gazed up at the mountains, the woods, and back to the loch, overcome with longing.

It will not be the life I wanted, which I must let go of. Just as I must let go of ? —

Her head snapped up, and her heart leaped. Outside the carriage came a soft but unmistakable sound. The distant thunder of hoofbeats. It grew louder until Agnes knew.

Two big, strong horses were coming after them.

Lavinia woke up with a start and reached for her daughter. Only, Agnes had already stood up. Lavinia gasped as Agnes threw open the carriage door.

"What are you doing?"

"Stop the carriage," Agnes called as she leaned out, the wind whipping at her hair.

The driver, who must have been daydreaming, let out an alarmed squawk and drew the carriage to a halt. Agnes leaned further out, squinting against the bright contrast of clear skies to the dim interior of the carriage. Beyond, down the road, two big shadows flew toward her.

Leo.

The Laird of Clan MacLarsen rode as fast as the wind, racing toward her on a big, strong horse the color of gold. Beside him, without a rider, galloped Fafnir. They thundered toward them as Agnes stepped down, picking her way to a flat rock at the corner of a field.

All around them were empty fields, but the mountains beyond seemed to lean down, keeping watch as Laird and Lady met on the road. The wind whipped the grass as a big horse, the color of night, came up to Lady MacLarsen and whickered softly, pressing his nose to her forehead.

"I'm sorry I did not say goodbye, friend," she whispered to Fafnir.

Then she heard boots hit the earth and turned to see Leo standing there, his dark hair whipped by the wind, his bold kilt fluttering around his strong legs. He held her eyes for a moment, then went down on one knee. Agnes started and stepped forward, reaching for him.

He caught her hand gently and squeezed it.

"Fair, noble, wise Lady MacLarsen," Leo said. "Kind of heart, dauntless of spirit, and sweet as honey." Agnes's heart took off into the pale wash of blue overhead. "Dinnae leave us. Please."

Her entire body seemed to thrum to a song that only Leo knew the melody of. Agnes stared down at him, wondering if she was dreaming. He also seemed young to her, in that strange way he did sometimes when he let go of his worries and the mask of the Beast of Briorn. The steadiness in his gray gaze was enough to undo her, as was the uncertainty.

A dizziness swept through her.

He knows that I can say no. He is not ordering me to return—he is asking. He is asking me to return home.

This was everything she had wanted, and yet she hesitated. The words would not come. Why couldn't she speak?

"I dinnae ken how to be without ye, wife," Leo continued. "All I can do is ask ye nae to leave—and to ken that I cannae live without ye. Nor did I ever want to let ye go, Nes." He swallowed hard. "‘Tis why I treated with Grierson, why I listened to ye about Flora and showed her mercy. Briorn is safe for our people—and me wife."

"I see," Agnes said, and his hand tightened around hers, then he let her go. "But I do not want to return if my husband still calls himself a beast."

Leo paled but nodded. "Aye. The beast shall be nay more, then."

"Hm. Nor do I want to return to a husband who simply needs a wife to provide him heirs and be his Lady," Agnes said. "Who wed me to adhere to our Queen's Edict. I want to return to a loving husband, a man who respects and adores me. A man who wants me by his side."

Leo reached into his sporran and pulled out something small wrapped in cloth. He pressed it into Agnes's hand and stood up, gazing at her. "Like I keep tellin' ye, Nes, I've wanted nothin' but ye since I first saw ye." He paused. "I owe ye all of that and more."

Agnes's throat closed up as she looked down at the cloth, and then she unwrapped it, revealing the small carving of Dusty. A sob rose in her throat, and she swayed, then was steadied by Leo's hand.

"He is already cryin' out for ye," Leo said. "It's how I kenned ye were gone before they came to tell me. Please, Nes. Ye belong in Briorn. Ye ken this—hell, the land itself kens this." She looked up at him. "And aye, I ken it, too. Maybe I always did. But more importantly… dinnae ye?"

Agnes's breath caught, and she looked around, then nodded. "Yes. Yes, I belong here." Then her eyes went wide. "But what of—" She swiftly turned around. "Oh. Mother."

"Agnes?" her mother asked from behind them. Leo turned around. "Leo."

She did not seem surprised to see him, and a small smile curved her lips as she stepped up to them. Her smile did not quite reach her eyes, which were both sad and resigned.

"I wondered… Yes, this is how it should be. You belong together."

Those simple words struck Agnes deep, and she made to reach for her mother, but Lady Cumbria had stepped back.

"I must return to England, but you are both welcome to visit anytime." Lavinia smiled wider. "And I'm sure Emma is as impatient to meet you as you are."

She made to turn around, but Agnes caught her arm and embraced her. For a moment, too, she let herself sag against Lavinia, wondering how this woman had become such a familiar and warm place.

"I am glad we had this time," Lavinia whispered into her hair. "But you need to be with your husband. He needs you—verily, as you need him."

Agnes shook her head and went to speak, but Lavinia stopped her.

"No, listen to me, Daughter. Your Leo was right—I have nothing I could teach you." She stepped back and curtseyed. "Lady MacLarsen, you keep a fine and welcome home. I look forward to returning."

With that, Lavinia went back to the carriage, only pausing before she stepped inside to look at Agnes and Leo one last time.

"I shall send your things back with a rider," she called. "Farewell."

She lingered for a moment, as though waiting for Agnes to change her mind. As Agnes watched the carriage go, relief filled her, along with a deep sense of being in the right place. She would stay—she needed to stay. And as for Leo…

He held out a hand and smiled at her. "Would ye come with me somewhere, sweet?"

Agnes took his hand and nodded.

She thought he would lead her to the golden horse, but instead, he led her to Fafnir. She shot him an incredulous look. While she'd always wanted to ride this big creature, she did not think her husband would ever let her.

"Up ye go, Nes," Leo said. "Fafnir nearly broke down the gates to come after ye. ‘Tis time."

Leo helped her up, and when she swung up into Fafnir's saddle, an urge to laugh and shout with glee came over her. The wind whipped at her hair as she easily steered the big mount around. He responded to her gentlest touch, his strong legs and long neck making her feel as though she were tethered to a wild wind, the breath of giants.

Leo swung up on the other horse and pointed his nose to the fields, rather than the road.

"Let's race," he called and then set off.

Fafnir shook out his mane and started at a trot, then as Leo began to ride faster, Agnes gave the horse a gentle squeeze. A shriek of joy escaped her lips as Fafnir seemed to fly through the air, the sound of his hooves thundering in her ear, and his powerful body smooth as a wave under her.

It occurred to Agnes that no one save for Leo had ever experienced this, and from the wry, knowing look that he shot her, he wanted her to know it.

Maybe—

But she held off further thoughts—and hopes, for now. Instead, she gave herself wholly over to riding Fafnir through the late autumn morning. The cool air invigorated her and tore at her fine dress, but she did not care.

She followed Leo through lovely fields, over gentle hills, riding through the wilder edges of MacLarsen. At one crest, they could see the loch and Briorn in the distance, but Leo did not lead them that way.

Instead, they rode along a river, then the woods appeared, and finally, they came to the spot they'd picnicked at all those weeks ago. Leo slowed his horse and stopped, jumping down, then strode over to Fafnir. The big horse danced a bit, and Leo laughed then put his hand on Fafnir's nose.

"I need her now, friend," he murmured, and Fafnir stopped, nipping Leo's shirt. "Aye, I ken. Ye were right."

"Now you tell me that you can talk to horses," Agnes couldn't help but tease as Leo came around to help her down. He took her by the waist with ease and lowered her to the ground.

"Ach, I must leave some mystery, wife," he teased back with a smile. Then he slung the bag of supplies that had been tied to Fafnir over his shoulder and gestured with his head. "Come along."

The two horses grazed by the river as Leo and Agnes walked to their tree. There was no sign of the supplies they'd left, though Agnes realized she'd never asked if Leo had sent someone to retrieve them. But of course, they had, for she recognized the blanket that he now spread out as the very same.

Her eyes darted around the woods, which had been green and dense before, but now were filled with a riot of color as mellow gold leaves drifted down. More light seemed to fill this corner of the woods and glance off the nearby river. It was lovely, and Agnes was touched—but also perplexed.

Leo wasn't speaking, only setting things up. Did he want to breakfast out here? He turned back to her at that moment and offered her a small, nervous smile. It sent her heart into a spiral of nerves, but she shook her head at him.

"I confess, I have nary an inkling why you brought me here, Leo," Agnes said. "Of all places."

"Aye, can ye nae guess?" Leo asked and stood up. "This is where I brought ye that day instead of takin' ye home because I didnae want our time together to end." She pulled in a breath at his words. "Ye asked for just an hour, but if it had been up to me, I would have asked for so much more."

He walked over to her, cautious and almost deferential. When she did not retreat, he took her face in his big hands. His thumbs stroked her brow, and he gazed down at her.

"I would have asked for decades—centuries," he whispered. "And it still wouldnae be enough."

"Is that what you are asking for now?" Agnes ventured more boldly than she felt.

"Aye," Leo said. "For I brought ye here to also tell ye that this is where I realized that I love ye with everythin' that I am, Nes. Everythin'."

All the gold in her gaze blurred as her eyes filled with tears. Leo appeared haloed in it, the sunlight and the leaves, and he smiled at her.

"Truly?" she whispered, and he nodded.

"Aye, I love ye so much that it hurts to be apart from ye," he said. "I thought it was a pain that I deserved, but ye taught me differently. And truly, I think I have loved ye since I first laid eyes on ye, standing with Fafnir, smilin' at me from the shore."

"Leo," Agnes said, and she made to step closer to him, but he held her back.

Amid her dazzled state, a cold feeling came over her—why was he holding her back?

"Ye also taught me that I must risk me heart—for ye were right, Agnes. I was holdin' meself away from ye." He hesitated then reached up, touching his mask. "But to be worthy of yer love, I would do anythin'." She thought she saw his eyes twinkle. "And yet ye ask for so little."

"I… oh."

Oh.

For Leo now took a deep breath and then slowly took off his mask.