Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The following morning, Catalina felt sluggish from lack of sleep. So, when Betty and Lena came in to help the sisters get ready for the day ahead, she dawdled. Hence, Anastasia went down to breakfast a while before she did.

When she finally arrived at the laird’s table, the whole family was there. She apologized for her tardiness and sat in her usual spot, opposite Anastasia and Ivar. While everyone else greeted her warmly, Ivar gave her only a cool glance as he continued talking to her sister in low tones. She shrugged inwardly, telling herself she did not care, and helped herself to some warm bannocks and tea.

“Ivar’s been tellin’ me about some of the lovely spots around the castle, Cat. He says he’ll take us out for some sightseeing. That would be grand, would it nae?” Anastasia asked her cheerfully. But there was something in her voice that belied her bright expression. Catalina dismissed it, thinking she must be imagining it. What was wrong with everybody?

“That sounds nice,” she replied, trying to inject some enthusiasm into it. In fact, she had no wish to act as chaperone while the irascible Ivar took her sister sightseeing. Let Dahlia or Sofia go and play gooseberry.

“Would ye like tae come?” Anastasia asked.

“I’m afraid I have plans fer today.”

Anastasia baulked. “Plans? What plans?”

“I was going tae take a nice walk and read or somethin’.” Damn! Why did I have tae mention books with him here?

“There’s a very nice wee beach down by one of the lochs,” Ivar suddenly put in, to her surprise. “It’s lovely there at this time of the year. We used tae have a lot of fun playin’ down there by the water when we were bairns. I think ye’d both like it there.”

“Och, I’d love that, Ivar. Maybe we could swim there in the summer,” Anastasia suggested.

“Och, ’tis perfect fer swimmin’,” he told her with a kind smile. “And the

beach is the best place fer a wee picnic.”

“A picnic? How nice. I cannae wait tae see it. But I ken ye’re awful busy. When d’ye think ye’ll have time tae take us?”

“Who said I’m busy? The only thing keepin’ me busy in the comin’ weeks is

gettin’ acquainted with me betrothed and showing her all the best places around here,” Ivar said smoothly.

While Anastasia evinced delight, Ivar’s eye caught Catalina’s, and she curled her lip at him to show her disgust. He ignored her and instead gave Anastasia a dazzling smile. “Aye, I’m all yers, Anastasia. Just say the word, and I’ll take ye anywhere ye want tae go.”

Catalina’s bread turned to ashes in her mouth. She put it down and pushed her plate aside, deciding she could stomach no more of his antics. She finished drinking her tea and then got up.

“Enjoy yer day, sister,” she told Anastasia.

“Oh, are ye goin’ so soon?” Anastasia asked, with an almost imperceptible edge to her voice. It told Catalina she wanted her to stay. But Catalina wanted to leave the pair to themselves. The tension between her and Ivar had built up again since their argument in the library the night before. She could not stand another moment in his company just then. She only wanted to be left alone with her thoughts for a while without having to paste on a smile.

“Aye, I wouldnae like tae encroach on yer time with yer betrothed. I’m off tae find a peaceful spot fer some readin’. I’ll see ye later.”

As she got up to leave, she heard Anastasia whisper to Ivar, “I thought ye two had sorted out yer differences, but I can see ye havenae at all. Ach, Ivar, ye dinnae ken how much it troubles me.”

Feeling downcast at her sister’s distress, Catalina did not wait to hear Ivar’s response. She left quickly before anyone else could interrupt her and made her way upstairs to fetch a shawl. She intended to call in at the library on the way down to the garden to fetch the book she had previously forgotten.

But when she reached the door to their chamber, she saw something on the floor next to it. When she drew nearer, she realized it was a book. Confused, she stooped to pick it up and saw with surprise that it was the very book she had left in the library.

For a few moments, she simply stood there, staring down at it in her hand. There was only one way it could have gotten there. No one else knew about it but Ivar, so it must have been him. As she stood taking it in, she suddenly felt very peculiar. Like a firework exploding in the night sky, a strange tingling sensation suddenly invaded her belly. It dawned on her then.

He thought of me. He’s sorry.

An hour or so later that afternoon, Catalina was sitting in a sunny spot in the gardens, her back against a tree. The book was in her hand, but she had so far been unable to retain the first lines in her head and had to keep returning to them, to no avail.

All she could think of was Ivar and the book.

However, she was distracted by the giggling of a child, and when she peered around the tree trunk, she smiled to see Arne with Thorsten. The little lad was perched on his father’s shoulders, gripping Arne’s hair in his miniature fists, and shouting at the top of his voice, “Gee up, Da!”

Catalina always enjoyed the pair’s company, and she figured she needed something to take her mind off the riddle that was Ivar. She shut her book and laid it aside on the grass. Then she got up and, when Arne and Thorsten drew level with the tree, she popped out from behind it.

“Boo!” she cried playfully.

“I dunno which one of ye screamed the loudest,” she jested after the pair had gotten over their initial shock.

“Cat!” Thorsten shouted, letting go of Arne’s hair long enough to clap his hands together gleefully once he realized she was not a monster come to eat him.

“Ye gave me a good scare there, Catalina,” Arne said laughingly after he had recovered from his initial shock. “That’s enough horsey fer the moment, lad,” he told Thorsten, lowering him to the ground. The child immediately threw himself at Catalina. Laughing, she picked him up and balanced him in her hip.

“Ach, ye’re as cute as a wee button,” she told him, lightly pinching his cheeks. She slowly whirled him about in her arms, letting him lay back and look at the sky, a smile on his face. “Ye’re so lucky tae have such a lovely wee boy, Arne,” she said a little wistfully.

“Want one of yer own, d’ye?” Arne asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“One day, I suppose. I hadnae really thought about it much until I met this special one.” That was true, she was entranced by Thorsten, and it had made her imagine with some degree of rationality what it would be like to have her own family one day. Could anything feel as wonderful as Thorsten’s little body cuddling up to hers?

“Faster, Cat. I see birdies,” the lad implored her, his head craned back as she swung him around, his bright blue eyes on the sky.

“All right,” she agreed, happily obeying his commands.

“He’s taken a right shine tae ye, Cat. Can I call ye Cat?” Arne asked.

“Of course, ye can. Everybody who kens me calls me that,” she told him, slowing her spin, fearing Thorsten’s lunch might reappear if she didn’t stop soon. “Catalina, ’tis a bit of a mouthful, eh?”

“Nae at all. ’Tis a lovely name,” Arne said, flashing her a charming smile. ’Tis strange that such a scary looking man can also look so sweet, she thought. A memory flicked into her mind then, of Ivar, his face shadowed in the lamplight of the library, the faint lines around his eyes and mouth, the tic below his eye. Marks of suffering.

“Cat, down, wanna run.” Thorsten’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“Och, of course me darlin’, there ye go.” She let him down gently, waiting for him to get his land legs before she took away her arm. “Shall I come and chase ye?”

“Wait… bug.” Thorsten picked up a twig from the ground, then squatted down and began using it as a tool in a small excavation among the tree roots.

“He likes anything creepy and crawly,” Arne told her with an amused sigh. “Ye’d best watch out he doesnae give ye any of his ‘presents’.”

“Oh, why is that?” Catalina asked.

“He gave me one the other evenin’, and when I turned down me bed tae get in, there was a spider the size of me hand in there. It took a lot of persuadin’ tae leave as well.”

“Ach, how horrible! I’ll be careful from now on then nae tae accept any presents. I cannae stand spiders!” she said, joining in with his laughter.

“So, how are things with ye an Ivar now? Have ye made yer peace yet?” Arne asked when they were done laughing and were watching Thorsten engrossed in his digging.

His question took her by surprise. “I dinnae ken how tae answer that,” she said honestly. “’Tis hard tae tell with yer braither bein’ the way he is.”

“Aye, ye’re nae the only one who says so. Look, Cat, I ken ye and Ivar got off on the wrong foot somehow, and I’m nae makin’ excuses fer him, but he’s nae a bad man. I guarantee he’ll treat yer sister right. Ye dinnae ever have tae worry about that. Whatever Ivar is, he’s nae a brute.”

“Well, the proof of the puddin’ is in the eatin’, so they say, Arne,” she said simply, still unsure where she stood with Ivar despite the kind gesture with the book. However, she realized at the same time that she no longer had any fears that he would be unkind to Anastasia. She had seen him with her sister, and she had seen him with Thorsten.

If she felt sure of just one thing about him, it was that, however bad his temper, he would never hurt a woman or a child.

When Thorsten grew bored with his digging—the lack of beetles turned out to be a disappointment—the three of them strolled along the pathways, with Thorsten in the middle, while his father and Catalina swung him to and from with every step.

“Have ye nae thoughts of marriage fer yersel’, Arne?” Catalina asked at one point, curious as to why he had not sought a mother for Thorsten.

“Why? Ye dinnae want tae wed me now, d’ye?” Arne asked, feigning panic.

“Nay, ye fool! I was just wondering, it must be hard raising Thorsten by yersel’.”

“Nae at all. And I’m happy as I am, with just me and the wee man here.”

“Ye dinnae think he could dae well with a new mother?”

“Nae. He has Dahlia and Sofia, and soon, Anastasia too, tae be good female influences in his life. And ye as well. What more could he need?” Arne said emphatically.

“Och, ye’re a grand faither tae him, Arne,” she told him, touched by his fiercely protective love for his son. “He couldnae have a better one, nor a better family. Even includin’ grumpy old Uncle Ivar.”

Arne laughed. “Aye, even grumpy old Ivar.”

Dahlia cornered Ivar in the hallway as he was on the way to meet Anastasia. She pushed him into an empty anteroom and shut the door.

“What is this? An ambush?” he asked as she squared up to him, a serious expression on her face.

“Explain tae me right now why ye continue tae act so badly towards Catalina?” she demanded.

“Oh, ’tis like that, is it? Well, I will if ye explain tae me why ye and Sofia had tae go telling Catalina about Thor. Ye had nay business doin’ that.” He felt suddenly furious, but he was unsure with who.

“Anastasia and Catalina are soon going to be part of this family. Anastasia will be yer wife! She has every right tae ken about Thor. Ye seem tae think ’tis a crime fer anybody else tae talk about him. He didnae just belong tae ye, Ivar. He belonged tae all of us.”

“I didnae mean that.” He did not know what he meant, only that it hurt to think of his twin and his absence.

“Anyway, dinnae try tae shift the blame. I’ve seen ye at dinner, cooing at Anastasia one moment and scowling at poor Cat or givin’ her the cold shoulder the next. I dinnae ken how she must be feelin’, but I ken that Anastasia’s upset about it. D’ye nae care at all fer yer betrothed’s feelings?”

“Of course, I care! It’s just… it’s nae easy, Dahlia. Catalina, she’s hard tae get along with. And I dinnae want her going on about Thor.”

Dahlia hung her head. “’Tis all me fault. If nae fer me, he’d still be here, and everything would be all right. And ye’d be yer old self again.”

Incensed she should blame herself, he took hold her shoulders. “Never say that, Dahlia. It was nae yer fault at all.”

“But if he hadnae come tae rescue me from James Mackinnon, he would never have been killed.” She stifled a sob, and it tore at Ivar’s heart.

“The fault is Mackinnon’s. He abducted ye for God’s sake. Was that yer fault, eh? Nay, Mackinnon’s tae blame fer Thor’s death, nae ye.”

He folded her against his chest and held her for a moment before she composed herself and drew away.

“Anyway,” she said, her voice growing stronger. “Ye need tae stop playing these childish games with Cat and make things right. Otherwise, Anastasia is going tae have a miserable time of it. How can she be married tae ye if ye hate her sister?”

“I dinnae hate her, I just…” His voice trailed off. Just what?

“Well, sort it out, and set yer betrothed’s mind at rest so she can enjoy her big day. She’ll think more of ye fer doin’ the right thing.”

“Thanks fer yer unsolicited advice, sister. Now, let me out of here.”

After he escaped from Dahlia and was striding down the corridor on his way to meet Anastasia, he happened to glance out of one of the windows she he was passing. He stopped dead. Outside, he saw Arne and Thorsten with Catalina.

She and Arne held Thorsten’s hands and were swinging him between them as they walked along, talking and smiling animatedly. They looked so happy, like a little family, that it made his heart hurt.

Unseen, he lingered to drink in Catalina’s beauty. Today, she was wearing a gown of deep red that perfectly suited her dark coloring. Her skin looked creamy, her round cheeks were flushed pink, her smiling lips were rosy and inviting, while the breeze ruffled her lovely hair.

What the hell am I doing? I should nae be standing here lustin’ after the lassie who’s going tae be me sister-in-law in a few weeks’ time. It has tae stop!

But then he saw that Catalina was carrying the book he had left for her by her door. A buoyant feeling of deep glee filled him, and he wondered what she thought of him leaving it for her. Could she guess that she occupied almost all his waking thoughts? That he panicked every time he thought of being married to her sister when it was she who lit a fire inside him. He did not know what he was going to do.