Chapter 12

12

Mary laid the paper out in front of her, and stared down at the empty page. When Amelia had asked for her to write to her, she supposed she would not have expected it to come in such strange circumstances.

Her conversation with Archibald earlier in the day had been spinning around her mind ever since, leaving no room for anything else, and she knew she had to make some sense of it. Writing to Amelia, she hoped, would allow her some space to navigate her feelings and her doubts, especially since it was hardly as though she could go to her husband and ask for his help in all of this. He seemed to be doing his level best to stay away from her, though why, she could not make sense of. It was as though he feared being alone in her presence for too long might draw something out of him that he couldn’t control. Perhaps the same thing that had emerged when he had come to her room on the night of the wedding…

She brushed that thought aside, and picked up the pen that laid on the small desk beside the window in her bedchamber. She had asked her lady’s maid to bring her some papers, and she hoped that the implication she’d imbued not to tell anyone about it had reached her. She didn’t know if Kiernan would be happy with her reaching out to her family, or if he expected her to cut them off entirely now she was his bride, and she had no interest in testing those boundaries any more than she already had.

But what was there to tell Amelia? Nothing had happened that was worth relaying, not really. She hadn’t even shared a bed with her new husband yet, and life in the Keep had been quiet and peaceful; maybe too peaceful, if what Archie had said to her bore any weight to it.

She didn’t want to worry her sister unduly, and, as she hovered her pen over the paper, she struggled to find some way to put it into words, the truth of what she was feeling, the doubts that seemed to threaten to get the better of her at any moment. She wished she were a more verbose woman, so she could capture the sense of doubt that had been sneaking along her spine since the moment she had arrived here. She supposed it was still better than being married off to some ancient old man of her father’s choosing, but, in some ways, it was difficult to believe that…

Just before she could begin her letter, she heard footsteps approaching her bedchamber. She quickly stuffed the papers into a drawer, though she had written nothing on them yet. A few moments later, Kiernan appeared in the doorway, and she rose to her feet. She felt, for a moment, like she should curtsy in greeting to him, though she knew it would have been ridiculous. He was her husband, not her master.

“Come with me,” he told her sharply, jerking his head towards the door. “I’ve got something fer you.”

A gift? She followed him out of the door, and her fingers flexed at her side as she longed to reach out for his hand. No matter what had happened between them, no matter how tense it had been, she still ached for his touch. Perhaps that was the hardest part of all of this, to be teased with the pressure of his hands on her, then to be denied it all over again.

“Where are we going?” she asked him as they stepped out of the Keep and into the courtyard. The air was crisp and cool, and it bit at her hands as she clenched them into fists to try and stave off the cold.

“The stables,” he replied, shooting a look over his shoulder. There was a look in his eyes that silenced her in an instant. She found, sometimes, that she was still afraid of him, the memories of what Arran had told her about him fresh in her mind. She brushed it aside. She was married to him, she would have to find some way to muster her courage.

They reached the stables, a large wooden building with several smaller booths that contained the horses kept at the Keep. Most of them came to the door of their stable to see who was visiting, and a few of them let out snorts of excitement when they realized it was none other than Kiernan.

She watched as he reached out to greet them, resting his hand on their necks for a moment, smiling as he brushed his fingertips through their hair. His touch was surprisingly tender for these creatures, but she remembered how he had been when they had seen that horse down by the river together, back in Stonehaven. He clearly had a soft spot for these magnificent creatures, and a glimpse of this softer side of him did something to soothe the doubts that had been coursing through her mind all afternoon.

“What did you bring me here to show me?” she asked, doing her best to keep her voice light as they picked their way through the straw to the far side of the stable.

“Yer wedding gift,” he replied, and he clicked his tongue. A moment later, a horse swung its head over the edge of the stable, and Mary’s eyes widened in shock.

“This horse?” she exclaimed, confused. She hadn’t even thought that he owed her any kind of wedding gift, but, she supposed, it might have been an attempt to sweeten her after he had been so distant for so long. And this horse truly was a beauty, with a deep chestnut mane that flowed down over a lighter, sand-colored neck. Brown eyes peered up sleepily at Mary beneath long lashes, and she stood there for a moment before the creature, unable to do anything other than stare.

“Aye, her,” Kiernan chuckled, and he laced his fingers through hers and brought them to the horse’s neck. “She’s a bonny thing, is she no’? I saw her, and thought of you…”

Mary let him guide her hand along the horse’s neck, and the creature dipped her head low to allow Mary to reach her properly. Her coat was soft, and her mane glimmered in the strands of light that slipped through the cracks in the stables.

“She’s beautiful,” Mary murmured. “But I… I hardly know how to ride.”

“I suppose I’ll have tae teach you, then,” Kiernan remarked. She ran her hand tentatively along the horse’s neck and chest, feeling the strength of it beneath her hand. She was struck, suddenly, by how alone her and Kiernan were out there, the same way they had been at the stables at the Aitken estate, before they had been caught in the act. She turned to him, and drew in a deep breath.

“Thank you for this, Kiernan,” she murmured to him. “It… it’s very kind of you.”

“Ye’re my wife,” he reminded her softly, bringing his hand to her cheek. She leaned her head into him at once, the warmth of his touch sending shivers through her whole body.

“There’s nothing I wouldnae do to make you happy.”

Just as he was starting to lower his mouth down to hers, a commotion sounded from outside. A horse was whinnying along with a cavalcade of voices trying to calm it. Kiernan let out an irritated growl and pulled back from Mary, stalking towards the door to see what was going on out there. Mary whispered her goodbyes to her new horse, and followed him out to the courtyard.

Outside, there were a handful of stable boys trying to calm a wild stallion. He had risen on his back legs, bringing his hooves down with a clatter on the earth below.

“Hey!” Kiernan called out, as two of the stable boys backed off, clearly fearful that they might be caught beneath the thundering hooves of this beast if they did not act quickly enough. Mary, for her part, had withdrawn against the stable, not wanting to put herself in harm’s way.

But Kiernan seemed to share no such concern. He caught the reins of the horse and wrapped them tightly around his hand, guiding him back to the ground, where the animal twisted its head and tried to break free. But Kiernan’s grip remained tight, not giving him a chance to rear again. He dropped his voice and took a step closer, lifting a hand to press it against the horse’s neck firmly.

“Aye, aye, there ye go,” he murmured. Mary could hardly hear him from where she stood, but the low burr of his voice calmed even her. He clearly knew what he was doing with this creature, and he took a patience with it she hadn’t seen him do for much else.

The horse pawed at the ground a few times, lifting one hoof then the other, as though threatening to rise back up as it had done before. But Kiernan didn’t let it spook him. He held his ground, still gripping the reins tightly, one hand against the animal’s neck, until it finally seemed to drop the fight.

He turned to one of the stable boys who had rushed away in such a hurry when the animal had begun rearing.

“Clear out one o’ the stables for him,” Kiernan ordered him. “He’s tired. It’s been a long journey fer him. He needs to rest.”

The man nodded and darted off, seemingly glad to be out of the potential line of fire for the horse’s flailing hooves again, and Mary inched closer to hear what Kiernan was saying to the animal. His words were soothing and confident, compassionate, even, as though he knew well why it would have been so disturbed, and wanted nothing more than for the beast to be able to rest.

“Ye’re safe here, lad,” he murmured to it as he ran a hand through its mane. “We’ve food fer you, water, a place to sleep…”

The horse dipped its head a little lower, like he was conceding the point and accepting the help that Kiernan was offering him. As Mary watched, she felt a spread of warmth course through her body. Hearing him speak to the creature like that, it told her more about him than anything she had seen so far. There was a kindness in him, a patience, an understanding for creatures who may not have come from the most comfortable backdrop to be with him.

No man who could speak with such sweetness to a horse could be capable of the things that she’d heard about him. Could they?

Finally, once the horse was calmed, two of the stable boys emerged once more to lead him into his new home. Kiernan followed behind them, and the horse checked to make sure he was close by, as though his presence was a comfort. Mary, her arms wrapped around herself to ward off the cold, couldn’t help but smile. She found herself surprised by Kiernan at nearly every turn, and she hoped there were many more surprises yet to come.

Kiernan reached her once more, and grimaced slightly.

“Sorry fer that.”

“It’s alright,” she assured him. “I’m glad you could get that horse under control.”

“Aye, he’s a young thing, and he’ll take some fair training to get him ready to work,” he remarked, glancing back towards the stables with some concern on his face. “But I like a horse with spirit. Reminds you that ye’re dealing with a wild animal.”

“Exactly,” she murmured, not taking her eyes off him. He noticed that she was shivering slightly in the cold, and he pulled the cloak from his shoulders to rest around hers.

“Here, inside,” he ordered her, guiding her towards the door. “Ye’ll catch yer death of a chill out here…”

As she allowed him to lead her into the Keep once more, his arm resting around her shoulders, she found that warmth starting to bloom in her belly once more. The same desire that had driven her on the night of their wedding, the same need that she knew would not soon be forgotten. Stealing a glance at him out of the corner of her eye, she bit back a smile. She was no longer thinking about the cold.

No, not when he was so close to her.