Chapter 20

The look on Bran's face when Idalia shunned him to speak with Andrew had shattered her heart into tiny splinters. While he had put up a wall of stoicism and indifference during their time together fleeing from August, she had glimpsed his vulnerability from time to time.

Over time, his attempts at cold indifference lost all verisimilitude, and she could read him as easily as a book. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he put on his mask again, cloaking the sorrow and anger that had been written all over his face just seconds ago. He rounded his shoulder, gripping onto his blunt weapon more firmly, and holding his head high as he pointedly looked away from her and Andrew.

Idalia had seen it all before, this showmanship. Why do we have to suffer? Why deny us both what we want? She could not make sense of his decision to hand her over to his brother. They had been through so much together, had shared so much together, and they had survived, together.

Did all of that mean nothing to him? Was she then to spend the rest of her life as a trading piece?

She was tired of being at the mercy of powerful men. If Bran felt it was a brilliant idea for a woman, whom he obviously cared about, to be married off to his brother, then she was going to make the best out of the situation. The way she saw it, if they were going to decide on a partner for her, then she intended to at least get to know the man she would be spending the rest of her life with.

Idalia picked her steps delicately through the black earth of the sparring ground, and Andrew checked his stride to allow her keep up with him. When they got to the eastern exit, Idalia turned around for one final look at Bran. She saw him stalking away angrily, stomping through the battered soil as he left in the opposite direction.

She turned back around to leave, having trailed Bran with her eyes till he was out of sight, and found Andrew looking at her with an amused expression on his face. His arms were crossed over his barrel chest, giving him a military pose, and he tilted his head to Idalia questioningly.

His blue-eyed stare startled her a bit and jolted her out of her thoughts. She cleared her throat awkwardly and smoothed out the non-existent rumples in her skirt. She had been caught completely by surprise, and now the air felt a little too hot.

She tried to remember what she knew about Andrew. While they had been acquainted for quite a while, she actually knew precious little about him. He had always been as stoic as his brother, but a little less serious and cold. He was a soldier who had grown through the ranks in the clan quietly but efficiently.

He had a calm demeanor about him, and she had never seen him have an emotional outburst before. Everything he said or did appeared measured, almost as though he spent hours pondering every action he made. Basically, everything she knew about Andrew could fit into a thimble, and there would still be some space left at the top.

"Is there a problem?" Idalia finally asked, finding her voice. "What's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Andrew shrugged casually, then glanced in the direction Bran had gone. "Ye love my brother, dinnae ye?"

He asked the question so offhandedly that it caught Idalia completely by surprise. She stammered a reply, desperate to find a way out of the situation. Her cheeks blushed a furious red and she looked away, flustered and embarrassed.

Seeing how shaken she was, Andrew chuckled slightly and raised both hands in apology. "I am sorry, I dinnae mean tae rattle ye. I am nae offended, but I am simply observing." He kept staring at Idalia intently, but she did her best to avoid meeting his eyes.

"That's fine," Idalia replied, looking around the courtyard at nothing in particular.

Andrew sighed deeply and placed a gloved hand lightly on Idalia's shoulder.

"Listen, lass. Truth is, I dinnae have anyone I am in love with currently. I cannae say I ken what ye are feeling, but I am willing tae take responsibility for ye and make ye my wife. However, I ken ye will never be happy with me, as yer heart belongs to someone else. Even though ye agreed tae this union, I ken this is nae yer mind's true will."

Andrew started walking back towards the castle, and Idalia fell in step beside him. "Sadly, love does not always mean a marriage," she said softly.

He nodded in agreement. "Aye. Ye also have tae get the person ye love tae want tae marry ye as well. Is that nae so?"

"Indeed, that is so," Idalia conceded. "It would appear I have failed spectacularly in that regard, unfortunately. As it stands, the man I love is not even willing to marry me for the sake of saving my life." Idalia stopped walking and turned to face Andrew, a defeated look on her face. "Tell me what to make of that, if you would."

She resumed walking, and Andrew watched her go for a few moments before following after her. He seemed deeply concerned and scrutinized her stony countenance from the corner of his eye. They went for a short while in silence.

"'Tis nae that my brother does nae wish tae marry ye or be with ye," Andrew broke the uncomfortable silence. "It's just that he does nae feel deserving o' ye."

Idalia spun on Andrew, with a furious look on her face.

"What does that even mean? Does not deserve me? And who gets to decide that? Your council? Him? Who gets to decide what I deserve?" Idalia clenched her teeth to keep her voice down, but her emotions boiled out of her. She clenched her fists so tightly, they turned bone-white.

Andrew glanced across the courtyard, as though wishing they could have had the conversation somewhere a bit more private.

"That makes no sense," Idalia continued, trying to rein in her anger. "If he wanted to marry me, then he would. Even if he had to use my situation as an excuse, no one would bat an eyelid. Instead, he passed me on to you, his brother. No, it does not make much sense to me."

Andrew crossed his arms on his chest and sent a rock clattering across the cobbled courtyard with his boot. "Well, my brother does nae exactly work that way."

"Sadly, I am out of time and options," Idalia said in a calm voice. She relaxed her fist and let out a deep breath, releasing the anger that had filled her a few moments ago. "I cannae wait around for your brother to work the way I need him to." She shrugged and walked on towards the castle, yet she felt bad for having thrown all her pain at Andrew. He was the last person that deserved her rudeness.

Andrew followed her. "I do understand yer feelings," he said. "However, would it nae be strange for ye if we were married and all ye did was pine after my brother? Wondering how things would have been if he had decided tae marry ye instead? Trust me. I do understand yer situation. Sadly, I feel 'tis unnecessary for me tae be dragged into it like this. The way I see it, ye should both fight for the love ye have and share. Should yer lives then be decided by people who have nae idea what ye both share, and who dinnae understand what ye have been through?"

"So far, I have been the only one doing all the fighting, Andrew," Idalia replied. "It's Bran who has refused to fight for me, and, as I said earlier, I have run out of time." They got to the steps of the castle, and she turned to look at the man. "If everything fails and I end up marrying you, I vow to be true to you. Regardless of what I feel for Bran, I shall not bring dishonor to you or your household. You can rest assured I will be a good wife. I appreciate what you are doing for me, and I am sorry to put you in a situation like this."

"I have never doubted yer loyalty, Idalia," Andrew replied softly. "I ken ye will never do anything wrong. That is why I am so concerned about all o' this. I dinnae want tae become a villain in a love story. Nay, that's the last thing I want tae happen. Yet, ye two lovebirds seem tae be chasing it with all yer might."

Idalia chuckled at that, and Andrew smiled as well. All the iciness melted in that moment for the first time since they had begun their conversation, and it felt good to both of them to hear themselves just laugh for a little while. It felt as good as the sun breaking through the clouds on an overcast autumn afternoon.

Idalia looked at Andrew and couldn't help noticing he was rather handsome. For the first time since she had known Andrew, she looked at him, and really saw him. With blue eyes and fine dark hair, she could imagine him turning heads whenever he walked by. He was definitely easy on the eye. She imagined herself as his wife. She could see herself enjoying a quiet and mostly peaceful life with him, one shared in good companionship. He would probably never do anything to hurt her either.

Unfortunately, her heart just didn't jump for joy when she saw him and she could also tell that his heart did not beat for her either. While they liked and respected each other, it had never been more than that, and Idalia could not imagine a scenario where the relationship would change.

If they did go ahead as planned and got married, she knew they would make a good team. They would likely form a friendship in their marriage and would work as a unit to raise children and have a happy life together but she did know for certain that love would never be a part of it.

Andrew was correct in what he had said earlier. Idalia would never be able to go a day without thinking about what she had lost with Bran. Every day in their home would be a reminder of the life that was denied to her. The life she wanted. The thought of such a reality chilled her more than she was willing to admit, and it took everything inside her to keep from breaking down where she stood.

Andrew cleared his throat, and the sound startled Idalia. She realized she had yet to reply to him, and she had no idea how long she had been consumed by her thoughts. She smiled a sad smile at him. "I'm sorry, my mind's just been a million different places at the same time."

"It's fine. I understand," Andrew replied affably, returning Idalia's smile. "Look, I think we should do our best tae use the time we have left tae try and change Bran's mind, if we can. Ye never ken, he may come around. I ken ye dinnae have time on yer side, but it would nae hurt tae try."

"You're a good man, Andrew," Idalia replied, tapping his arm. "Unfortunately, I don't think there's any need for false hopes. Everything has already been done, and I will be begging nobody to marry me. The matter has been concluded, even by the council. I shall not dwell on it further."

Andrew raised his hands, showing his willingness to let the matter drop, even if only for the time being. "I suppose ye are right. Well, I suggest we share walks as often as we can manage. The way I see it, if nothing happens between ye and my brother, and we do end up together, the walks would then nae be in vain. Nae only would it help us ken each other better, but it would also serve a different purpose, ye see."

Idalia raised a brow at Andrew and smiled. "Oh? And what purpose would that be? Pray tell."

"Nae a chance," Andrew replied laughing. "Ye would need tae trust me on this one, please. All ye need tae ken is that I have a different plan for those walks, aye?"

"Fine."

"Thank ye."

"Honestly, I think I'd rather trust you," Idalia said with a smile.

"Good choice," Andrew replied. "Give me a moment tae dash up and change out of these sparring clothes."

"Sure," Idalia said. "Take as long as you need."

"I shall nae be gone long," Andrew said. He pointed towards a stand of trees. "Ye could wait for me on the bench under the trees, aye?"

"Of course."

With that, Andrew dashed through the massive double doors into the castle. Idalia watched him go, a multitude of thoughts running through her mind. She walked towards the bench and sat down to organize her thoughts.

Idalia had no intention of waiting around for Bran to realize what he wanted. She could not afford to end up with August again. That was not a possibility for her. When she looked up and saw Andrew walking down the steps towards her, she made up her mind. She was going to do everything she could to make sure things worked out with him.