Chapter 15

Bran watched with a smile on his face as Adamina and Idalia's sisters took her away, laughing and chatting as they went. During the time he had been with her, while she was in captivity, there had only been a few times when Idalia had smiled and even fewer when she had laughed. Whatever joy she had felt had been sucked out of her at the news that she was being taken back to August Raymond. As Bran watched the young women go, he was suddenly glad she had her family around her, that she could relax to the point of laughing so freely.

A part of him could not deny that he was feeling a bit of jealousy. He wanted her to smile and laugh when she looked at him. He wanted to be the reason for the smile on her face. He brushed off the thought and smiled, shaking his head. He was happy she was finally among family and his fear about August Raymond finding them had been lifted off his shoulders, at least for now.

He looked at the beautiful child, sleeping innocently in his cot, and felt a pang in his chest. Bran knew that Katarina and Dunn would make sure that their child was protected and did not have to experience all of the heartache that he had. He made a silent oath to also protect the bairn who had been named after him however he could.

A hand clapped him on the back, diverting his thoughts, and Bran looked up to see Andrew and the Leòideach brothers staring at him, their eyes filled with warmth. Although he still felt shame for his actions and embarrassed to stand before these men whose last memories of him were of the good deeds he had done, Bran was happy to be among family. He did not know how they would react, but he was finally ready to tell them all about Mahala and all of the atrocities he had committed.

"Come. Ye have had a very tiring journey and it is quite telling on ye. Ye must bathe and change into better clothes." Andrew grinned at him, and Bran chuckled, knowing that he spoke the truth. His clothes were torn in many parts, and he was covered with dust and blood. His hair and hands were a testament of all that he had done and the hardship he had experienced in the time it took him to return Idalia to where she rightfully belonged.

"Aye, ye are nae wrong. I have indeed had a very tiring journey." He clapped Andrew on the back.

"Then we must nae delay. There is much to be discussed, and we are all curious to ken what happened to ye and where ye have been all this time," Dunn said, he and his brother Tor following after them. "I will also call the healer to check your wounds," he added. With everything that was going on, Bran had almost forgotten the pain he had been living with from the past day's encounters.

Bran shrugged and allowed them to lead him to his chambers, so he could clean off all the grime. He quickly discarded the ruined clothing and, with a satisfied groan, sank into the bath filled with warm water that was waiting for him.

He scrubbed his body clean as his brother and friends waited patiently for him to finish. Once he was thoroughly washed and rinsed and wrapped in a blanket, he sat on the bed, ready to begin his tale.

"Where have yet been all this time, Bran?" Andrew asked once again, and Bran sighed. He looked down at the floor and began.

"I have been with August Raymond," he said and rushed to explain when he saw their expressions turn to alarm.

"In some ways I was his prisoner, and in some other way, I was nae. I was locked up by Alistair but managed to escape. I could have found my way back to ye or run, and I had certainly been about tae dae that when I heard the scream of a lass. I hurried towards the sound and saw it was Idalia. I could nae leave her there. She was being taken prisoner by August, who had broken into the Morgan castle and had nay desire tae leave without her. But neither did he care tae help Leonor. We came tae blows, but after some time, we made a pact involving me… me daughter Mahala."

"Yer daughter? Ye have a daughter?" They stared at him, their eyes filled with shock as they waited for him to answer.

"I am an uncle? Ye are a father?" Bran stared at the look of surprise and wonder in Andrew's eyes. It was totally different from what he had expected. His brother and friends were not looking at him like they were disgusted or ashamed. They looked… happy.

Bran paused and looked at Andrew. "Dae ye remember Kezia? She was August Raymond's sister."

Bran waited as Andrew thought about it. His brother nodded slowly as the memory clearly came back to him.

"Aye, I think I remember her vaguely. Why dae ye ask?"

Bran sighed deeply, not knowing how to explain the situation to his brother without feeling he had sided with the enemy.

"I had an affair with Kezia. It was for a short time, and I did nae love her, nae truly. But when she fell with child, I was ready tae do right by her. I went tae her family tae ask their blessings tae marry her since she was with me child, but they refused. Her family would nae let her marry a man who was nae a gypsy like they were." Bran smiled sadly at the memory, knowing things would have turned out differently if he had been allowed to marry her.

"It was not long after that, that she disappeared. I tried tae look for her, but I could nae find her, no matter what I did or who I asked. It was like she had ceased to exist. I didnae ken what happened tae me child either. August finally told me that I had a daughter and that she was with him. However, I was never allowed to see her until after I made the pact with him."

Bran had not looked up to see his brother's reaction, nor that of the other men, since the beginning his tale, and he had no plans to do so until he was finished with it. He doubted he would be able to tell them all of it if he looked up and saw the expressions of judgment on their faces. So, he continued his tale, still staring at the ground.

"When I heard about me daughter, I kenned that I had to go tae her and find out all I could about her. I needed her tae ken that I did nae abandon her, so I made a pact with August on the day I saved Idalia. He said he would let her and Leonor go if I would do whatever he told me tae dae. In exchange I would be allowed tae be near my child and perhaps see her. If I didnae obey him, however, he would have had his own niece killed. I did it in hopes that I would easily find a way tae get tae me daughter and take her away from there. However, things didnae turn out as easy as I thought. August made sure we were always watched whenever I spent time with her, and when I did, it was usually for a short periods, and only when I did what he wanted. That was how I began tae dae as he bid. There was nay other way for me tae see her again."

"That is horrible," Dunn said. "I cannae imagine what I would dae and how I would feel if I was nae allowed tae see me bairn again."

Bran looked up and saw the look of sympathy in his eyes. Tor and Andrew also wore expressions far opposed to the looks of rage and disgust he had expected from them.

"Ye dinnae ken the length of it. I can never go back tae the man I used tae be because my soul is dirty." He looked down at his hands. They were clean, with only the marks left from all the injuries he had gotten over the years showing white. Yet all he could see were the things he had been forced to do for August, in a bid to see his daughter for the handfuls of minutes he was allowed.

"Ye are a good man, Bran. Nothing is ever going tae change that."

Bran was happy that his brother could still see the good in him, yet he sighed deeply, weighed down by the memories of the atrocities he had committed.

"Ye dinnae ken the things I have done, brother. If ye did, ye would nae think so."

"Ye are right, I dinnae ken what ye have done, but that daes nae change what I ken tae be true in my heart," Andrew argued back.

"I have killed, Andrew. I have killed men who might nae have deserved death simply because I wanted tae see me daughter again," Bran shouted in agony, getting to his feet. He sat back down heavily and propped his head on his hands, trying to stop the memories, but it seemed they could not be stopped.

"The first man I killed for him was one of August's enemies. The man had something August wanted, but he refused tae part with it because it belonged in his family. That was all the reason August gave for seeking tae murder the man. He invited him over, proposing an alternative solution, where they both got what they wanted, and the man came tae him trustingly. I was charged with killing him when he arrived and that was what I did. I killed him without asking any questions because I believed I needed tae dae all he asked so he did nae harm me daughter."

"Bran, it was nae your fault. Ye did what ye thought was right as a father trying tae protect his child. We cannae fault ye for that. The only person who deserves any of this blame ye have carried for so long is August Raymond." Tor, who had been quietly listening to Bran's tale, finally spoke up.

"Ye dinnae understand the gravity of what I have done. The many people I have had to kill for August," Bran moaned in guilt and pain when he felt hands on his back, consoling him.

"I dinnae care what ye say, brother. Ye are me brother, and I ken the truth about ye. Ye are good, and ye can never be a monster. If anything, ye have been a victim all this time and it is why ye feel the way ye dae," Andrew said.

"Yes. If anyone is a monster, it is the man who uses his own niece as a way tae get people tae do terrible things on his behalf. A monster would bask in the blood and sufferings of those he has killed, but instead ye have carried this burden in yer heart for a very long time. Ye might have done things ye are nae proud of, but that is the story of everyone. There is nae one of us who has nae had tae dae something terrible in a bid tae protect those we love," Tor said.

Bran looked at the men around him and appreciated having people who could still see good in him, just like Idalia did. Maybe if they all believed him to be good, he could learn to see the light in himself as well. Maybe there was hope for him after all. He had sworn to avenge those he had killed, by killing the man who had sought their death, and until he did that, he would not rest.

"There is one thing I have been wondering about. How did ye end up meeting Idalia?" Dunn asked him suddenly, drawing his mind away from the gloomy topic they had been focused on for too long.

"Oh… uh, well, August Raymond sent for me and told me he had a task for me. I had expected to hear that he wanted someone dead, but then he told me it was a different type of task. There was a woman he wanted for his bride, and I was to bring her to him. Although I was nae enthused about abducting anyone against their will, I was glad he seemed to finally be over his obsession for Idalia and that his mind was focused elsewhere," Bran began.

"He asked me nae tae remove the sack that would be placed around her head and although I was curious, I was nae ready tae risk the chance that he had people watching me once again, so I didnae open it. I already had her on a boat, taking her tae him, when she began tae scream and threaten me." Bran smiled despite himself as he thought about how strong-willed she was, the little spitfire. "I had tae take off the sack as it was the only way tae get her tae stop her screaming, and when I saw it was the Lady Katarina's sister…"

Bran looked at the men once again. Just like the last time, they had given him all of their attention, and did not try to speak until they were certain he was finished with his story.

"I was horrified, but I still planned tae take her. My conscience got the better of me halfway through and I decided tae face the consequences of my actions by letting her go and pretending she had escaped. I tried my best. I had decided tae face August while she escaped… but she refused tae go without me when she found out I had a daughter."

It had seemed like an impossible task to get him out of the gloomy mood he had been in merely minutes ago and yet, here he was, smiling as he thought of her and all that she had done. He could not believe how brave she had been. He knew that many in her position would have taken the first opportunity to run away and save themselves, especially since there had been no plan to guarantee their safe return. But not her. They had even tried to take his daughter from August. Not only was she brave, but she was also selfless. Bran had never met anyone like her and he doubted he would meet another.

"When it became clear we would nae be able to get my daughter out of her tent without being seen, we had tae leave her behind, but that was only after I realized that contrary tae all his threats, August Raymond had no plans of ever hurting his niece. 'Tis nae a chance I was willing to risk, however. We faced many hardships along the way, but Idalia continued to help in many ways," Bran said. He cleared his throat and pretended to cough when he realized he had been singing her praises for quite long enough. Not that she didnae deserve it.

"Even when I was captured by August's men and told her tae run back here for help, she came back tae save me. I did nae ken how tae feel when I saw her there. On the one hand, I was glad I did nae have tae return tae August's camp but, on the other hand, it was reckless of her tae ignore her own safety and decide tae come save me. I had already kenned she lived by her own rules, the wild lass, but in that moment, it was clear she would always dae whatever she believed tae be right, nae matter what anyone else thought."

Bran paused in his long explanation when he noticed the others exchanging odd looks, strange smiles on their faces. He frowned, wondering what they could possibly be finding funny.

"What are ye doing? What is with the looks?" he asked curiously, turning to his brother with raised brows as he waited for him to answer.

"It just sounds like ye are in love with Idalia from all that ye have said," his brother said, arching his brow.

"What?! Nay, I'm nae," he denied quickly, not looking any of them in the eyes.

Bran could not help but think of her. Was he really in love with her? She really was very brave and more selfless than anyone he had ever known, but that did not mean he was in love with her, did it? Bran thought about her smile and the way she acted and struggled to keep himself from smiling.

He thought about the morning when he had kissed her. Then there was their time on the boat. Bran could see hear her moans of pleasure ringing in his head and her face of ecstasy when he pleasured her had been etched into his brain.

Bran had sought her out ever since they had returned to the castle, watching her as she hugged her sisters and laughed, chatting with them easily, and he had craved for her attention to be directed towards him. He craved her laughter, her touch, her conversation, her stubbornness, her kindness and selflessness. He even craved her anger, but did that mean he was falling in love?

Yet, Bran doubted he could love someone as pure as her when he was a monster. He did not want to be the reason her light and purity was lost to the world. He would never do that to her, not when she had been nothing but wonderful.

"Nae, 'tis impossible for me to love her. I dinnae even deserve tae have such feelings for her, or anyone else, nae after the turn my life took this past year."

Bran watched as Dunn held his brother back when Andrew tried to speak, and he was grateful to him. He was not saying any of these things to receive the assurance that he was, in fact, a good man. Andrew may likely never see him as anything other than the idea of him he already had, and he was grateful for it. But that did not change the fact that he had, indeed, become a monster. The only thing keeping him sane was the conviction that one day he would be with his daughter again and they would be a family, away from the influence of August Raymond.

"Well, it dennae matter what yer feelings are. The easiest way tae make sure that August Raymond dennae come for Idalia again is for her tae be married," Dunn said, shattering Bran's thoughts.

He looked at the man in shock. Married?

Bran felt his heart beating too fast in his chest at the thought of Idalia getting married. For a moment he imagined what it would be like to be wed to her. He imagined her being a mother to his daughter. Idalia was a lovely and kindhearted woman, and he knew she would love Mahala as though she were her own.

Bran shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Well, I cannae be the one tae dae it if that's what ye are proposing," he said finally, looking at the faces that crumpled at his words. He knew they hoped he would want to be her husband and he wished he did not have to disappoint them. But, unfortunately, they would not be getting their wish. She deserved something better.

"Very well, then," Dunn sighed. "Idalia is a very beautiful woman, and I am certain that any man would be lucky tae have her. Ewan, for example, comes to mind. He is a loyal friend and a good councilor. However, I have my doubts whether his heart is not already taken…" he drifted off. Then he stood suddenly. "However, now is nae the best time to discuss this topic. As ye ken, Idalia is a strong-willed woman, and it would nae sit well with her tae find out that we have been discussing her future without her kenning about it first. Besides, it has been a long day and I am sure we all need our rest, especially Bran here."

"Aye, ye are right. How about we give this a rest, and after we have discussed it with Idalia, we can talk about the topic of finding her a spouse. And about what we'll dae tae rescue Mahala and make a plan. For now, we cannae dae anything right away," Andrew said, standing up as well. He looked at Bran and smiled at him. Bran returned his smile and stood up to hug him.

"I am glad tae see ye are nae dead. It has been quite a difficult time and it is good tae have family around."

Bran smiled a watery smile. He was glad that despite all he had told them about him, they did not judge him and still welcomed him with open arms.

"I am glad tae see ye too. I thought of ye every day, and I am glad ye are all right."

Andrew made his way out of the room along with Dunn and Tor. Bran sat back down on the bed after they left and lay down, thinking about when he would see his daughter. He hoped August would not take the opportunity to tell her terrible things about him and make her hate him. Bran knew he would do everything he could to make sure it would be difficult to take Mahala away from him. It did not matter whether he cared for her or not, August would still make sure he punished Bran for going against him, and he knew his biggest weakness.

Bran lay on the bed, completely exhausted and yet finding it difficult to go to sleep. As his mind flashed between Mahala and Idalia, he closed his eyes and hoped that in the days to come, he would find a way to get his daughter back and introduce her to the most loving people she would ever meet.