Chapter 11

Idalia was quiet as she sat on the boat next to Bran. She looked out at the water surrounding them, no other boat in sight. She tried to quell the blush that had risen from her neck up to her face and which she knew was staining her cheeks and ears crimson. Glad her hair remained untied, Idalia used the tangled mess to block his view of her face.

She could not help but think of what had transpired before they had gotten on the boat, when her horse's fatigue and injury had caused them to share a ride. Idalia tried to remind herself that they had already been in such close proximity before.

However, Idalia could not help her thoughts. After their shared kiss in the room, his every touch ignited something in her, as did being pressed against him like that. Idalia did not know if he felt what she felt when they had ridden together. Bran had seemed more interested in scouting their environment and making sure they had not been followed, which she appreciated. He had continued to look down at her, asking her if she was all right, while her back and behind molded into his body and remained glued to him.

Are ye all right? Bran had asked her this constantly, to the point of annoyance, and she did not know why she had been so angry at the question. Maybe it was because he sounded unaffected in any way by her body pressed against his, while it was all she could think about. Or maybe it was simply because if he had not kissed her earlier, she might not be suffering as she was now.

Idalia had constantly reassured him that she was, indeed, all right despite her state of mind. Although, she was nearly injured and felt a bit of ache in her leg, it was not something she wished to worry him about.

When they reached the shore, they were faced with an even bigger problem which they had not accounted for. They did not have the money to pay for a boat to take them across. She had looked to Bran in hopes that he might have some coins, but his face soon revealed the truth. He had only taken enough to pay the captain of the birlinn for their board and his silence, and afterward return to his daughter. His thoughts immediately went back to her.

"What do you say we steal a boat?" Idalia suggested in a desperate attempt to get across to the other side and distract him from his melancholy.

Bran had frozen in place for a moment before turning to her with his eyebrows raised. "How surprising, it seems I have created quite the criminal out of ye..." he quipped.

She reared back at his words, but at the same time, she was glad he looked somewhat less morose. "A criminal? I am only giving you a suggestion… I mean, how else are we to cross the water? Surely, we cannot swim that far… " she said, in her defense.

Bran chuckled, but said nothing more, silently agreeing to her suggestion. They had found a boat at the shore, and she had stood guard as Bran untied the ropes before quickly joining him aboard, allowing him to take her by the waist and lift her onto the boat.

Idalia felt terrible. She did not know if she was depriving a family of their means to survive, and maybe that might have stopped her from going along with the plan any other day, but this was a matter of life and death. She vowed silently to repay the owner when they returned, which would be as soon as they explained everything to Andrew and the others and got the men to return for Bran's daughter.

So far, they had lied, cheated, fought, and now they were stealing. She should not be rattled by it, but she could not help how she felt. Still, Idalia was glad to finally be off the land and in the water, hoping the men would not follow after them. Bran had been kind enough, without any word from her, to leave the belongings of the men whose boat they had just stolen on the shore, so that when the owner arrived, they would find them there.

Idalia watched Bran. He worked the oars smoothly, pulling them away from the shore, until she could no longer see the pier through the heavy fog that surrounded them.

"The men you fought with, they seemed to be very angry with you," she said, breaking him out of his own thoughts. Bran had been staring at the pier without a glance at her. She knew he had most likely been thinking of Mahala and how long it would take for him to return to her.

And then there was the matter of the men she doubted would leave them be. August Raymond was not the type to simply give up and admit defeat. That much was evidenced by how long he had waited to snatch her up once again, when many men would have moved on from their obsession.

"Aye, they were," Bran confirmed, finally looking up at her. Idalia stared at him, wondering whether to continue with her line of questioning or simply let him return to staring off into the distance.

"They seemed to feel that you had betrayed them for some reason," she said after a few minutes of silence. As she watched him, he paused his rowing and sighed before he began again.

"Aye, and they had every right tae. While we were nae the best of friends, I was nae exactly on unfriendly terms with them either," he said. "We worked together for months, and, for good or for bad, we had gotten used tae each other. Most of us were nae with August by choice but fate."

Idalia understood what he meant, and her heart flew to her sisters, and all she was ready to do to save them. She was sure Leonor was angry she had chosen to go away without her. Her family must have searched everywhere they could think of for her, with the limited information Leonor could have given them.

Idalia sighed and tried to redirect her thoughts.

"I had a close relationship with August's sister that soon led tae an affair between us. She was nothing like her brother, and I was quite entranced with her. We were together in secret until she told me she was with me child. I tried tae do the right thing, and together we went tae her family, in hopes they would give us their blessing tae marry However, August refused every appeal I made. He wanted his sister tae marry someone of their kind," he looked at her. "Yer kind."

Bran ran his hand down his face, and Idalia watched him quietly, taking note of every change in his expression. He seemed to be trapped in the memory he had clearly carried with him for years and years.

"She asked me tae leave after August spoke with her and I had nay choice but tae go. I hoped I would have the chance to watch her from a distance, but it seemed even that was nae tae be allowed me. August had hidden her from me, and no matter how long I searched, I could nae find her. I kenned nothing of what had happened tae her either. Nae one seemed tae ken, or if they did, they did nae want tae tell me due tae their fear of August and what he would do tae them. Then August told me that I had a daughter. Since then, August has been keeping her hostage and using that tae get me tae work for him as his slave."

Bran shook his head and let out a humorless chuckle, almost as if he could not believe the standard he had been reduced to because of situations beyond his control.

"I am only very rarely allowed tae see her but, somehow, those moments I have with her are the most precious things tae me. She brings brightness intae me life. It is like everything is beautiful once again whenever I am around her. It is because of those few moments that I continue tae let August dictate the circumstances of me life. He has never let me be alone with her, there are always guards around, so escaping with her is out of the picture. For the first few months I tried everything tae get her away from him, but nothing worked. I soon learned it would not happen so easily, so I took the moments with her that I could. It made being tied to August and working for him not as terrible. Still, I never gave up trying tae get Mahala away from the camp, nae matter how impossible it seemed."

Idalia looked at his face, which was contorted by sadness.

"It seemed that August Raymond always showed up tae remind me that he was watching, and m

ey plans never succeeded. I feared for her life and what would happen if he decided he did nae care tae keep her alive. So I chose tae bide my time until I was presented with the perfect opportunity tae take her and run off. I have strayed far in carrying out the tasks August has given me. I ken it makes me a terrible person to be so willing tae risk the lives of many for a few moments with my daughter. It eats at me soul all the time."

Idalia felt her heart break when he uttered those words. She could not hold on to any anger she had left inside now that she knew why he had done all of this and had been willing to stay by the side of such a terrible man as August Raymond.

She took note of the broken man before her. It would be clear to anyone who saw him just then, even without hearing all he had said, that he was indeed the shadow of a man, riddled with guilt for the things he had done. It would have been easier on him if he had been the type to shrug off guilt, but he was not of that breed. He was an honorable man caught in a bad situation he had not known how to deal with.

Idalia wished she could reassure Bran that he had not lost all the things that made him who he was. No one who had lost themselves and their humanity would feel the guilt that so clearly ate at him. No one who was beyond redemption would care so much. Despite his words, Idalia could see a fearful hope in him, a hope that he was indeed not beyond saving, that he could still make up for the crimes he had committed. She could see he was struggling, barely holding on to that hope, and he did not want to let it go. It gladdened her heart.

Without hope we are nothing.

"You are a wonderful father," she said, suddenly wishing she was sitting closer to him so she could take his hand in hers for comfort. "More than that, you are a good man, and your daughter is lucky to have you."

"I am nae a good man, Idalia," Bran snorted, looking away from her. "How can ye say that?. Have ye forgotten so soon that I was ready tae take ye tae August despite knowing the fate that awaited ye if placed in his arms?"