Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

M ay 1307, Mhairi's House o' Pleasure

The village of Muircross, near Castle MacLeod, the Western Scottish Highlands

The golden spring evening cast a deceptively warm glow over the grey granite walls of the substantial house which stood on the outskirts of the village. It nestled alone on an incline above a lane lined with towering pines and bushes of thorny, bright yellow gorse.

From the outside it seemed perfectly respectable, with lace curtains at the windows, but looks could be deceptive, and people from miles around knew very well that it was a house of ill repute.

Each night, as the sun went down, men would start arriving, tapping at the door to be let in. They came alone or in groups, drunk or sober, on foot, on horseback, or in carriages that marked the occupants' wealth and status. All paying customers were welcomed by the painted courtesans who dwelt within Mhairi's House o' Pleasure.

At first, there had been nothing remarkable about the group of riders, five men, dusty from the road, who had come earlier that evening, and were currently being entertained in the downstairs rooms. There, the customers and the courtesans consorted, flirted, made free with whisky and wine, gorged themselves on fine foods, danced, and laughed, all under the watchful eye of the madam. Later, they would couple up, to disappear to one of the upstairs rooms.

Raven had thought little of it when the riders entered. She had been working at Mhairi's for just over a year as a maid, having adopted the name of Maeve, and she was used to the comings and goings of the clientele. She split her duties between cleaning and, at busy times, helping in the kitchen out the back.

She was rushing to and fro between the main room and the kitchen with the orders when the men entered. They were greeted by Morag, the madam, who showed them to a table. Almost immediately Raven heard their leader asking if anyone knew of the whereabouts of a woman they were searching for.

"Her name is Raven MacNeil, but she might be goin' by another name," he said gruffly.

The bottom suddenly fell out of Raven's world. Her mind went blank, and her breath caught in her throat.

The man went on, "She's in her early twenties, slender, with long black hair, a pale complexion, and light brown eyes."

Starting to shake, Raven accidentally spilled some of the ale she was carrying on the floor, attracting the attention of those nearby, including Morag and the leader of the riders.

Morag turned away from the man and directed a warning look at Raven. "Ye'd best go and clean that up quickly, Maeve, afore somebody slips up," she said calmly. The man glanced dismissively at the clumsy maid, who kept her head down as she scurried back to the kitchen. Raven just had time to hear the conversation continue when Morag turned back to the man and said thoughtfully, "Black hair and brown eyes, did ye say?"

"Aye."

Morag shook her stiff curls. "Nay, we've nae girls like that workin' here, Sir. Shame though, for they'd be worth their weight in gold," she said with an air of regret. "Nae many girls with black hair up here, so I am sure she would make me a good penny". Then, with total aplomb, she swept her professional smile over his colleagues and asked in a honeyed voice, "Now, what would ye gentlemen like tae drink?"

By that time, Raven was in the kitchen, her heart pounding, limbs trembling, struggling to draw air into her lungs. Morag appeared a few moments later. She spoke quietly to one of the kitchen maids, who immediately went to clean up the spilled beer in the main room. When she has gone, the madam pushed the kitchen door closed, pulled Raven aside, and whispered urgently, "Ye heard them, lass, they're lookin' fer ye."

"I-k-ken," Raven whispered back, her voice shaking. "I h-have to leave right away, Morag. 'Tis too dangerous fer us tae stay here now." Her heart continued thudding loudly in her chest as she stared at the door, painfully aware of the peril that lurked only feet away on the other side.

Morag nodded. "Go fetch the bairn and go up tae yer room. I'll meet ye there shortly." With that, she returned to her duties in the main room. Without saying anything to anyone else, Raven slipped out to the hallway and ran quietly up the staircase to her room.

Minutes later, in the small chamber which had been her refuge for the last year and a few months, Raven clutched her sleeping son protectively to her breast with one arm. Her voice thick with tears, she kept up a constant stream of quiet reassurance as she hurried back and forth between the small wardrobe and the large bag which lay open on the bed, hastily placing her few, necessary possessions inside with one hand.

"It's all going tae be fine, wee Thorsten, me darlin', just ye wait and see," she told him through her stifled sobs, pressing kisses to his shock of pitch-black hair that was so like her own. "Ye'll be better off without me. Ye have a good faither from a good family. He'll look after ye. I cannae protect ye any longer, but ye'll be safe with him."

The hopeful words belied the terrible feeling that her whole world had suddenly been ripped apart. A mixture of fear and trepidation coursed through her as she began stuffing Thorsten's tiny clothes into another small bag.

"I dinnae want tae leave ye, bonny lad, but 'tis fer the best, ye'll see. And one day, we'll be together again. I'll find a way."

Through her tears, she silently prayed that would be the case. But deep down, she knew that the vengeful man who had sent the riders to find her would not give up until they did. And if he found out about Thorsten's existence, he would not allow him to live. The fearful knowledge sat in her belly like a cold, dead weight. It was that, the fear for Thorsten's life, that was keeping her from completely falling to pieces.

As she finished putting Thorsten's things into the bag, she glanced over at the chess board on the table in the corner of the room. Just seeing it there and the memories it stirred increased the almost crushing pain in her chest. Outwardly, it was a simple chess board, yet for Raven, it was a symbol of all her hopes and dreams for a happy future, hopes and dreams which were now crumbling around her.

Now, it stood for everything and everyone she was about to lose, and never have again. She felt as though her heart was being torn into pieces.

The noises from the neighboring room grew in volume and intensity, shrieks and groans of two people rutting like beasts. Raven tried to shut it out and held her palms over Thorsten's tiny shell-like ears, lest the noise wake him from his peaceful slumber. The shrieks increased until the woman screamed as she reached her climax, or pretended to, shortly followed by an exhausted groan from the man.

"Ye'll nae be sorry tae leave that behind, I'll wager, lassie," said Morag, coming quietly into the room and jerking her thumb at the wall. The old madam was wearing a gaudy gown and had a hard, painted face to suit her hard life. But when she smiled at Raven, the kindness of her true nature shone out from beneath the thick layer of powder and rouge.

"I nae sure I willnae miss it, Morag," Raven replied with shaking voice, ineffectually sniffing back her tears. "At least while I could hear it, I kent we were safe." She summoned a weak smile despite the terror gripping her, urging her to be gone. "I'm packed and ready tae leave now," she added, nodding at the bags on the bed.

"Ach, ye dinnae have tae hurry so much, lassie. The girls have promised tae keep the men that are askin' questions about ye busy fer hours, so ye have plenty of time. Besides, I've already told them ye're nae here, and I've given them some information that'll lead them astray."

While she spoke, she came over and stroked Raven's hair then gently kissed Thorsten's head, looking at him with the doting eyes of a grandmother. "Are ye certain ye need tae dae this? Ye ken we can hide ye both fer as long as ye need, and nay man will ever find ye. Ye'll be safe," Morag said coaxingly, clearly hoping Raven would agree to stay.

Raven sobbed as she said thickly, "I want tae stay, Morag, but 'tis too dangerous. I fear fer me son's life if those men find me, and they'll never give up. If Thorsten and I stay here, he would never be safe." She looked at Morag, her eyes blurred by tears, adding, "Besides, ye've already done so much fer us, and I dinnae want tae put ye or the girls in danger. Even lyin' tae those men fer me just this once is puttin' ye all at terrible risk."

"Well, 'tis an awful shame," Morag said, her lined forehead creasing further with obvious disappointment and worry. "We'll miss ye, lass, and the wee man."

Raven almost gave way under the weight of emotions coursing through her then. She hugged Thorsten's small warm body close for comfort as she choked out,

"Ach, Morag, I'm gonnae miss ye, and the lasses as well. Ye've looked after us both so well, and I'll never be able tae repay ye fer yer kindness. But if they've tracked me this far, I fear it'll nae be long before they catch up with me. I have nae choice but tae run if I want tae save me son."

"Ach, there's naethin' fer ye tae repay, hinny. We all wish we could dae more tae help ye." Morag came closer and circled them with her arms, hugging them both tenderly.

"Ye've been a Godsend, Morag. I dinnae ken what I would have done without ye, givin' me a job here and protectin' me fer so long." Raven's stifled sobs of sorrow and gratitude wet the front of the older woman's gown as they embraced, probably for the last time. For more than a year, the hard-faced, otherwise ruthless madam had been the closest thing to a mother she'd had, and Raven was loathe to leave her and her safe berth at the house.

When they finally drew apart, Morag held out her arms and said, "Here, let me hold him. This may be the last time I get the chance."

I hope it isnae the last chance I have tae hold him too.

"I pray it willnae be, Morag, but I fear ye may be right. Ye've been as good as a grandmaither tae him while we've been here," Raven said, carefully handing Thorsten over. She struggled to hold back her sorrow and panic as she hurriedly stuffed an extra shawl into the bag, a gift from Morag and the girls. Before she closed the bag, she went to the nightstand and took a letter from the drawer and put it inside.

Morag watched in grim silence as she cradled the sleeping baby. Then she asked, "Are ye sure there's nay another way, lass? Is wee Thorsten's faither nae back from the fightin' yet?"

The question unleashed a fresh bout of sobbing from Raven, who felt her heart was being torn in two. Her voice shook as she answered, "Nay, but I think 'tis fer the best that he's still away." She had been working hard to convince herself of it. "If he were home, I dinnae think I could dae what I must. It would just make it more difficult tae leave, and that would put him and the bairn in danger."

"That's cruel indeed, lass. Me old heart goes out tae ye," the madam murmured sadly, gazing down at the baby and stroking his mop of hair. "There's nay mistakin' the lad's maither with that hair. 'Tis truly as black as a raven's wing. But those bright blue eyes of his are his faither's. He's the perfect mixture of ye both."

The words were like daggers stabbing at Raven's already aching heart. A vision of Arne arose in her mind. The picture was as vivid as though he were standing next to her, as if she could reach out and touch him. She could see every detail of his powerful warrior's body, the rough, masculine beauty of his features, his short, almost white-blond hair that she loved to run her fingers through, and his piercing blue gaze that glittered like sapphires in the sunlight whenever he looked at her.

The vision tore at her tortured soul. How can I leave him when I love him so much?

Suddenly, she clutched at her chest, finding it hard to breathe, let alone speak.

"Are ye alright, lassie?" Morag asked anxiously, coming closer and putting a hand on Raven's shoulder. Raven laid her own over the top of it, taking comfort in the old woman's reassuring touch. Slowly, she caught her breath.

"Aye, as alright as I can be," she replied, unable to stop the trembling of her limbs but mentally steeling herself. "I have tae be strong, tae be able tae dae what I have tae dae." She kissed Thorsten's cheek as he lay sleeping in Morag's arms, leaving the traces of her tears behind.

Finally, she managed to say, "Aye, he has his faither's eyes. Arne will be proud of him." Will he be reminded of me every time he looks at Thorsten's hair?

"There's nay time fer mourning," she added, pulling herself up to her full height. "I must go. Help me with the bags, will ye, Morag, please?"

Morag nodded and handed Thorsten back to his mother. "I've had them prepare a horse fer ye, with enough provisions tae last ye a few days. There's a bedroll and some blankets too, tae keep ye warm at night." Morag easily hoisted the bags onto her shoulder.

"Thank ye," Raven replied, cuddling Thorsten close as they finally left the room.

On quiet feet, they sped along the dimly-lit hallways and corridors of the sprawling house. Raven silently bid a last goodbye to the strange mixture of luxury and shabbiness she had become used to. The cries and grunts of business being transacted echoed from several of the rooms as they passed. While they walked, they continued their conversation in a whisper.

"Why d'ye nae just tell Arne about the men chasin' ye? He could protect ye, could he nae? His braither is the laird hereabouts, the fabled Viking Lord," Morag said as they hurried down the staircase to the lower levels.

"Aye, he would, but that's exactly why I dinnae want tae tell him," Raven explained, her fear and sorrow once more threatening to overwhelm her as she considered it for the hundredth time. "If I told Arne about all this, I ken he'd dae his best tae protect me me and Thorsten. But the man from me past who seeks me is very powerful and brutal. Tae cross him could cost Arne his life, and Thorsten's as well. 'Tis safer fer them both if Arne daesnae ken the truth."

"Aye, I suppose, if ye think ‘tis fer the best, lass," Morag reluctantly agreed.

Eventually, they emerged from a rear door into a scrubby courtyard. There, with a feeling of tense relief, Raven saw a horse, already saddled, waiting for them. The actual physical evidence of their enforced flight brought more tears, but she would not let herself falter in her resolve and dashed them aside with the back of her hand.

"Ach, why is this so hard tae dae when I ken this is the best thing fer the baby and fer Arne?" she murmured as she handed the baby to Morag to hold while she mounted the horse. "I just have tae keep tellin' mesel' that they'll both be so much better off without me in their lives."

Morag handed the baby up to her, and Raven secured him to her chest with her shawl. Then she looked down at Morag and held out her hand. Morag took it, her hard brown eyes softening with tears as they squeezed each other's fingers and shared a final affectionate look.

"Thank ye fer everythin', Morag, and thank the girls fer me and say goodbye fer the both of us. Ye've given me a safe haven when I needed it most, and I'll always be grateful tae ye." She withdrew her hand from the madam's and pulled some money from her pocket and held it out. "Here, take this, please. 'Tis little fer all ye've done fer me."

Morag looked aghast for a moment and then shook her head vigorously and pushed Raven's hand away. "Nay, lass, nay, I dinnae want it, and ye'll need every penny of that fer yerselves. Put it back in yer pocket and keep it, hinny."

Raven obeyed reluctantly, feeling she had taken so much more than she had given.

"Where are ye headin'?" the old woman asked.

"Well, first I must make sure that Thorsten is safe. After that, I have nay clue," Raven replied. She gathered the reins, and the horse moved restlessly beneath her, as if eager to go.

"Goodbye, Morag. Take care of yersel'," she said as she guided the horse from the courtyard, in the direction of the castle.

"Goodbye, and ye take care of yersel', Maeve," Morag called softly after her, waving her hand in farewell as tears began to fall from her eyes.

Raven turned slightly in the saddle and smiled warmly at the old madam through her tears. "Ye might as well use me real name now, Morag," she said.

Morag gave a little hiccough of emotion, smiled back, and said, "Goodbye, Raven."

The ride to Castle MacLeod through the darkness was under two miles from the village, and Raven knew the way by heart. The gathering of huge buildings that made up the castle loomed out of the dark against the sky like a colossus. The sight of it was both heartbreaking and comforting. She would be leaving little Thorsten there with his father, which was the heartbreaking part. The fact he would grow up safe and protected, part of the MacLeod clan, gave her a small modicum of cold comfort which enabled her to do what she knew she must.

All was quiet when she halted the horse a few hundred yards from the castle gates and carefully dismounted, trying not to wake Thorsten as she slid from the saddle. If he began crying, she might be discovered, and that was the last thing she wanted. Holding the baby to her chest, she untied the bag of his clothes from the saddle bag and took it with her as she crept silently to the gates themselves.

Forcing herself to go through the necessary motions, she propped the bag against the bottom of one of the mighty stone towers, then she reached inside her shawl and drew out a sealed letter. This she kissed and wedged atop of the clothes in the bag, making sure it would not blow away. She wondered how Arne would react when he saw his name inscribed on the front in her looping handwriting. He would know at once that it was from her.

"Oh, Lord help me tae dae this," she murmured, her emotions threatening to overwhelm her resolve as she cuddled little Thorsten, peppering his head with gentle kisses, breathing in the lovely smell of him one last time. "Ye'll be safe here, me darlin'. I dinnae want tae leave ye, but I have nae choice. Yer maither loves ye with all her heart, sweet lad, just ye remember that. Ye're better off without me."

With her vison blurred by fresh tears, she tidied the baby's wrappings so he would not get cold and carefully laid him next to the bag with the letter. People would soon be about, and she was certain he would be found quickly. Not that she would leave without making sure he was safe first. "Goodbye, me wee angel. Forgive me fer leavin' ye."

With huge effort, she turned and made her way back to the horse hidden behind the trees, stifling her sobs lest she be heard. She waited there until a farmer arrived at the gates with a wagonload of vegetables. He could not help but notice the little bundle and the bag she had left there. She watched with bated breath and tears dimming her vision as the man climbed down from his seat and went to see what it was. He visibly started when he realized it was a baby and cast about him hurriedly, clearly looking for whoever had left a baby there. But of course, he could not see her hiding in the trees.

He bent over and tenderly picked the little bundle up, cradling it in his arms as an experienced father would do. A sob tore from Raven's throat as the man held the baby beneath one arm with practiced ease and hammered on the gate with his other fist. A guard popped his head out from above and, seeing the wagon below, gave the signal to open the gates.

With a loud shrieking and clanking of chains, the mechanism concealed inside the twin towers ground into action. The enormous oaken gates slowly creaked open, and two guards came out. Raven sobbed harder, her hand over her mouth to stifle the giveaway sound of her distress as she observed the farmer showing the guards the bundle in his arms.

One of the guards stepped out and performed a cursory search of the area near the gates, clearly looking for whoever had left the child there, but in vain. The other engaged in a brief conversation with the farmer. During it, the guard picked up the bag she had left containing Thorsten's clothes—and the letter addressed to his father.

A decision was made, and the farmer handed the baby over to the guard, who carried Thorsten and the bag with the letter inside the gates. The farmer got back up on his wagon and drove it through the gates into the castle courtyard. The second guard followed, casting another look about the area before he went in. Then, the grinding, metallic din of the chains began again.

As the gates closed, and her little son disappeared from her life for good, the storm of emotions Raven had held back for so long broke free. She doubled up with pain and guilt, holding her belly as great sobs wracked her slight body and hot tears ran down her cheeks, blinding her.

Arne will never forgive me fer this. And probably Thorsten willnae either. But 'tis better that they should hate me, fer it means they'll be alive.