26. Chapter Twenty-Five - 3

Shad glared at me in anger and irritation.

"No, I am not losing you."

"This is all touching, really, but you see, there are really no options."

He shrugged his shoulders and motioned the guards to move me. I was placed in the shiny cage-like cell near Keil and Ryker, the cage with pristine metal bars which I had seen earlier when I had entered that room. Was it always meant for me? "So as soon as I get the little tidbit about how to return to Terra, to home-sweet-home, I will be on my way."

" I have everything you want,"

Shad said, walking over to where his brother stood.

"Excuse me?"

Cade smiled, and I wanted to vomit.

"Take my melody,"

Shad offered.

I gasped, "Shad, no!"

I screamed and banged on the bars. He was ruining everything; I could not live in a world without him. Shad didn't look at me. He just sent me a mental message that was jumbled and quick; I felt the emotions more than the words, which clearly meant that he was sorry and that he would never leave me. He knew that he would never regret saving me. I cursed at him, yelled and cried, and begged him not to sacrifice himself for me, for Ryker, for Keil, nor for anyone. I knocked my shoulder against the side of the cage, kicking and screaming as the metal stung my wounds, inflicted by the sharp cave walls. I was helpless. I could not do anything but watch.

"Ah, you see. Now, that is an intriguing idea. Take the Crown Prince's melody and fool the lot of them. That would make everything so much more dreadfully easy. You and I, brother, even look very similar. If I fix this crooked nose, I could pass myself off as Prince Shadrict. All but the eyes. But, they all think me dead and once I have a soul's melody my eyes will no longer look like this– soulless ."

He walked around his brother for a moment with a smile. "I still need to know how to get back there, and you won't give me that information, will you, brother?"

"I know how. I came through the Dungeons of the Mist. I know where the cave is that holds the portal to our realm–back to Terra,"

Shad confirmed.

Cade motioned to a guard to untie Ryker and Keil and to send them back down through the cave and to their freedom, and I couldn't enjoy that small victory because Shad was ruining everything. "We do not need them to witness such an event, do we?"

Cade asked.

No one replied.

"You have to promise to not hunt for Emma anymore. You have to promise to leave her alone,"

Shad demanded.

"Yes, yes—I will have very little need of her if I have your melody. I assure you, I will no longer seek her out, but she may seek me out,"

he winked at me, and I glared back at him.

"I would never!"

I spat in his direction.

He waved me off and chuckled."Now, Emma dear, that is not how a princess should behave. Brother, let us get started before the Princess passes out or something. She is a little unstable. Here, you draw me the exact location of this cave and let me take your melody, and you and Emma may leave. If you are lying to me, brother, and this is not the right cave with the portal, then I will hunt her down and kill her in front of you. Deal?"

he asked; then his hand rose as if he were going to give Shad a high-five. Shad reached out, placed his hand on his, and then they both placed their hands on their hearts. That had to be the way people in their realm made deals or something. I felt as if I had died on the inside.

"Shad, please. Please don't do this!"

I begged—pleaded, holding the bars of my prison–the only thing between us. He looked at me, tears in his eyes.

"Emma, as long as you are safe, that is all that matters. I can survive without a melody,"

he said softly.

"Please, I need you, don't make me hate you for leaving me."

He smiled sadly and walked over to where I stood within my prison cell. "Hate, huh? That is indeed a strong word, and yet some say that hate is very close to love, Emma—How about you mourn me for an appropriate amount of time, and then you can hate me?"

"I mean it! Shad, you are going to kill me,"

I pathetically whimpered.

"I am doing this to protect you. You are my soul, Emma; no matter what happens to me, I'll always come for you, as long as this body is breathing. I'll still be with you, in here."

He reached through the bars and touched my heart.

"Yes, but without a soul? What kind of life is that?"

"If I don't do this, and he takes your soul, it is as if he took mine anyway. And you are part of my soul, Emma. I will be alright as long as you are."

"Exactly, you see—if he takes your soul, it's like taking part of mine, too."

"Emma, I have to do this. Please understand."

"No! I won't! I won't understand. I can survive without a soul, mine was suppressed for my entire life anyway, so I have a better chance."

He touched my cheek, catching a tear, and I pleaded in my soul again and again. But his mind was already made up.

"You are my best and dearest friend, Emma,"

I huffed in irritation. I did not want to hear that.

"Unlock it for just a minute, Cadian. I need some time with her, before—"

He cut himself off, no doubt unable to speak of the horror of our situation.

Cade motioned to his guard, and he opened the cell, letting Shad inside with me, and then quickly closing it. Keil and Ryker were already long gone. At least they are safe, I thought.

"Leave us. We can't go anywhere in this cage."

His brother laughed.

"You have five minutes, but do not bond, or she is dead."

I watched Cade leave the room, thinking that Shad had to have a plan to get us out of there: maybe the cage isn't really locked.

"It is locked, Emma. Listen—"

He pushed me, slowly up against the bars of the cage—of my prison cell; his body was flush with mine, his lips touched the side of my cheek right next to my mouth, erasing the touch of Cade that had been there. He was nearly an inch away from my mouth. He pulled away so that his mouth was a breath away from mine as he spoke: "I know what you are thinking in that head of yours. You think that you cannot survive without me. You think that what I awakened inside of you will be lost, that the hollowness you have endured and that the vile snake of misery will again overtake you when I am soulless."

I gasped. He knew so much. "But, Emma, that is not true. You do not need me. You do not need anyone to be strong."

He caressed my jaw, my neck, and his touch a fire to my heart. "I know you, Emma, and you are strong. You are a survivor. I know you can live, even if I am gone."

I couldn't help the sob that escaped my lips, the tears streaming in rivulets down my cheeks.

"Emma, you are incredible. You will do incredible things in this life. Before I go, I have something I have to say—I planned to explain things to you over time, but time is running out, and I am afraid if I don't do this now, I will never get the chance. Can I have one selfish moment?"

His lips nearly touched mine as his hands cupped my face.

I nodded.

"Emma, your friendship has been the most valuable thing I have ever owned."

"I don't want to be just your friend, Shad. Would you stop saying that—"

I whispered as I wiped at my face.

"Yes, you do, but I know it's different for you. I know because I saw the disappointment on your face when you saw the yellow rose I gave you in your locker, which now seems so long ago. I saw the confusion in the forest when I explained kissing—what it means to people from Terra, so—let me explain."

I felt my heart breaking at his words, those horrible awful words of friendship stabbed me in the gut, and I turned my face away from him.

He smiled and pulled my face back to look at his. "I value friendship; I have never had a real and true friend before. My life was always filled with rules and duty. I value your friendship, Emma, but I don't want to be just any friend to you, not like Ryker or like Ash."

"This is not the time or place, Shad. We should be figuring out how to get out of here!"

I cried. He caressed my cheek.

"No, I know when I have lost the fight. I lost to Cadian today. Emma, what I am trying to tell you—this is important, and I am not leaving here the same, so listen. There is no way out of this. Please, Emma, hear me."

He moved his body closer to mine, and I looked at his face, his eyes pleading with me to listen.

I couldn't deny him.

"I don't want to be just another friend to you. No, I want to be the one that gets to hold you close. I want my hand to memorize the feeling of your hand in mine."

I felt his hands leave my face as his melody curled around my soul. His fingers found mine, and he held our hands together, raising our clasped hands high above my head, resting them on the bars of the cell, keeping me from moving away so I would listen to him. My hands never fit so right in anyone else's before.

"I want to know the depths of your heart and recognize the rhythm of its beating—I want it to become my own. I want to know the beauty of your soul, the deep, dark parts, and the hard parts—the good and the bad, Emma—I want to know them all. I want to be the one who gets to kiss you every single day just because I can, because I want to, and because—you want me to. I want to be yours. I want us to be so close–so connected that I do not know where I begin and end because you are everywhere within me."

He kissed my Jaw, trailing kisses that burned me from the inside out. He moved his mouth to my ear, "I want to be the kind of friend whose lips know your lips so intimately—that I know them better than my own."

His arms wrapped around me then. The warmth of his electric touch and his melody swirled around us, and I was entranced by him. He moved his hands over my back. I touched his face—holding his head in my hands, forgetting the wounds on my fingertips as I touched his hair. I pulled him closer to me.

"My friend—I want to be with you always. I want to sleep beside you and cradle you in my arms. I want you to say my name in the night when it's dark, to whisper it with your lips; I want it to be the one name you call when in trouble or in joy. I want to be the one you find rest in. I want to give you that rest, and peace. If you ever have a bad dream, I want to cast it away."

He smiled his wicked grin as he moved his mouth, hovering above mine again. My hands found his neck, and I wrapped my arms around him, standing on my tip-toes.

"So yes, darling, I want to be your best friend, the one who knows you entirely–body, mind, heart, and soul. Emma—I do indeed want to be your friend."

He moved his face so he could whisper into my ear, "I want to be that kind of best friend for you—the very best kind of friend that you will ever have, darling."

He kissed my ear and then bent his head down lower, leaving a kiss on the side of my neck and at the hollow of my throat. His hands trailed down my arms, leaving me speechless. "Emma—darling, sweet, kind, strong, and brave Emma,"

his voice was low and alluring as he said: "I want to be the best friend that you—that you fall hopelessly, desperately, and madly in love with as much as I am hopelessly, desperately, and madly in love with you."

His lips met with mine in an instant. I was surprised as he had said that we couldn't truly kiss because of what it meant to him–did that mean that he and I were forever bound? I realized then that while I might not have been ready to get married, I would not ever want anyone else. I could never want anyone else.

It was Shad–forever.

If I thought his kisses on my neck and cheek were transcending, they were nothing compared to our lips finally meeting.

It was pure electric.

Electric shockwaves ran through me as our melodies swarmed around and through us as our mouths melded together.

His kiss was soft and at first, tentative; then desire bubbled within us, and the kiss deepened; sparks seemed to shoot from every point of my body.

I wasn't sure what was up or what was down anymore, if I was still standing or if I was floating on air because that kiss—that electrically-charged kiss—was buzzing and electrocuting my insides.

That kiss transformed my whole being; it made me his.

I was his, entirely. Every single part of me, he owned. Shad owned my very soul. And as impossible as it was to believe, I owned his, too. I owned all of him, and he was mine.

"Shad, I thought you said you wouldn't kiss me?"

I asked as his lips grazed mine softly, our breaths mingling together.

"I always planned on it, darling."

He touched a strand of my hair playfully with a smile on his face.

"I just didn't want to rush you, but I can see now that clearly, that was stupid. You don't have to marry me or make me any promises. I will make all the promises to you; I promise to you—"

He kissed my lips again, my mouth obeying his every command. "I promise to be yours."

He kissed the corner of my mouth and smiled at me, his lips only a breath away as he spoke. "What I wish—what I want—is to be allowed to do this,"

his voice was a soft whisper, a brush against my lips, "whenever I want to."

As he stopped talking and started to make the kiss soft and tender, I cried, knowing that what we could have had together would have changed everything. It was special. But we can't have it after this small, fragile, perfect moment , and I felt my soul nearly split in two at the loss. He pulled away from me, still looking at me, his chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, his eyes seemed surprised by my thoughts, and my tears. He had to know that that is what I wanted; I wanted him, too.

"I want that, too; all of it, Shad. I promise to be yours,"

I whispered. His eyes stared into mine. I wanted to stare into his beautiful golden eyes forever. "You are that kind of friend. If that is what it means to you, Shad—then yes, you are my very, very best friend,"

I whispered.

He smiled and kissed me again, his body slamming into mine and the coldness of the room melted as we melded together again. Our breaths were heavy as we kissed each other, and our melodies buzzed and twirled around us with such a beautiful sound.

How is this possible?

Thoughts flowed to me through him. He desired to make me his forever, not just in that moment. He desired to make me happy; he wanted me to see Terra, to meet his family, to see his home, to have everything returned to me that was taken away, but mostly, he wanted me—just me.

I always wanted this, Emma. I will always want this. You have no idea how long I have waited. Someday I shall tell you just how long. His lips found mine again, and I tried to memorize the moment. The love he had for me was flowing to me through his melody, and it made me feel dizzy. I was unable to fully fathom what was happening. It all seemed too good to be true.

How can someone love me that much? Is such a thing really possible for me? How could anyone love someone so flawed and scarred like me?

"It is all true, Emma. When you are with me, I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life."

He caressed my cheek and kissed me softly, lingering there. His kiss smoldered electric fire upon my skin.

"Shad, I just don't understand—"

"The pull of this thing we share, this connection, Emma, it isn't random. The Ancients created it for a purpose. Our souls have melodies, and these melodies are a musical sketch of who we are—they are embedded inside us. If someone finds—"

he paused for a moment as if re-thinking what he was about to say, "souls that connect like ours do, it means that they are for the other, literally, everything the other's soul has ever wanted and ever needed. I wish I could explain it better, but we have little time."

"So, I am your perfect match or something?"

He nodded and smiled. You are absolutely my perfect match.

I had never felt such happiness in my entire life. He kissed me again, his lips doing just what he said they would do, memorize mine. A thousand, a million kisses from him would never be enough. I wanted to live in that moment forever, take a picture and make it last and last and last. But pictures fade over time. They can become ruined or burned or lost. How does one hold onto something and never let it go? How does one never forget a perfect moment? His kisses kept electrocuting my skin, making my insides ignite again and again. I tried not to think about it, but I knew that soon this will end, and soon, I will be without him .

"Now, you know what being my best friend means to me."

His hands cradled my face as he spoke to me, "You can stop thinking all of those ridiculous thoughts now, because you will always be mine, and I will always be yours. No matter what happens, you are mine, darling, and I am yours. It is etched onto our very souls."

I tried not to, but heat rose up in my cheeks. I should have known he could read me more than I realized through our bond, which meant he knew more of my feelings than I knew about his. But, I had a lingering thought, a question that wouldn't be put aside, and it ached.

"You kiss me, now , Shad? You tell me all I have ever wanted to know, now ?—Now that your brother will make you into some—Some melody-less zombie?"

"I didn't want to become a Soulless without making sure you understood all that you mean to me. I will be greatly changed. I do not know how I will behave, and I want you to remember me like this – this is the true me."

I smiled as tears still flowed down my cheeks, tears of happiness and tears of sadness mixed and mingled together.

"Tell me how to save you, please."

"I don't know if this will work, but it's all I have,"

he said leaning closer to me, moving hair out of my face.

"What is all you have?"

I will show you. There is little time to explain. I fear I kissed you too long. He kissed me one last time, his lips tenderly brushing my own. I felt his melody swirl around me, and his thoughts flooded my mind, swirling and churning inside of me. He was filtering his thoughts to find the exact memories he wanted to plant inside of me. I could tell what he was doing, and I was in awe of what was possible between us. I saw him, sitting somewhere at a desk, reading, as memory floated into me. But, before I could focus on the entire thing, I heard the metal door open and then a loud clap as someone entered the room. Shad let go of me, and as he did, I felt one single note from his melody linger with my own.

What is that?

That is hope, Emma. All the hope I can give you. I don't know if it will work, but I know you can do anything. You are the other half of my soul. Don't ever forget that. You have everything you need inside of you.

Shad, tell me what I need to do. He pulled me into his arms, and I heard Cade clear his throat.

"Well, aren't you two just adorable."

I ignored him.

Those memories should help you—If there is a chance that a Soulless can find their soul again—

"Let's get on with this, brother. I don't have all day."

I watched in shock as Shad fixed the collar of his shirt and then moved to the cell's door.

I reached for him one last time, kissing him with everything inside of me. His hands gripped my waist as he pulled me into him.

"I love you, Shad."

The tears continued to spill from my eyes, and I could not help them from falling. It was true—I loved him. I knew that I had been frightened, and I still was. I was so terrified after my parents died. I was frightened about losing Ryker and Mary someday, and I was also frightened right at that moment that I would lose Shad, but what is love without fear? What is love without being brave, even if you are not sure you can be brave? All I knew was that I loved him. I loved Shad, and I wanted him to know it.

"Emma, you do not have to say that–"

"It's true, Shad. You know it's true. I love you,"

I replied. I sensed his doubt within our bond about my true feelings for him, thinking I was only saying it because I was desperate for him to stay, not to leave me. I was desperate and I was scared, but I was also helplessly and madly in love with Shadrict, the Prince from another realm, the Kingdom of Embra. It was scary but undeniably true.

"Say it again, Emma."

he whispered, closing his eyes, and I knew what he wanted.

I love you, Shad, and I always will . I touched his hair as I spoke inside his soul. I meant those three little words more than I had meant anything else I had ever said in my life. He slammed into me. It was as if a well had broken, and he was unable to control the rush of water flowing between us. His kiss was fierce, and I returned his kiss just as fiercely. There was an ache in it that our first kiss didn't have, a roughness that spoke of need and longing and of unbelievable truths spoken and then realized. A goodbye of sorts, but– How? How could this be a goodbye when I need him , and I needed him closer, nearer. I didn't want to ever let him go. How could I be without him? I loved him.

I know you must mean it, Emma. It is just too wonderful to be true, I think , he thought as he pulled away to look into my eyes to make sure that I was real, that he was really seeing me in his arms, that it wasn't a dream.

No, not too wonderful, perfectly right, I said to him through our souls. Our chests rose and fell at a rapid rate, and it wasn't until Shad was thrust backward and away from me, that I realized Cade had been yelling at us, and two of his guards had come over to take Shad away from me.

"Okay, let's get on with it!"

Cade's voice roared, irritated in that damp cave. "You better not have bonded,"

Cade snapped.

"No,"

Shad said to Cade but looked at me. With one last look, Shad smiled at me.

I will be with you again, Emma. Nothing will take me away from you, permanently. I promise you that, not when I have you to come back to.

He turned toward his brother. I heard the cell door unlock, then open, and, finally, shut with another click. I looked up and watched as Shad drew out a map with care and detail. Cade shoved the folded paper into his suit pocket and brought out the crystal.

He walked over to Shad, whose eyes were upon mine, and I begged him a thousand more times not to do it, not to go through with it because of me. I made a thousand more wishes on stars that I couldn't see, anything I could think of to keep him from leaving me. I prayed to God, to the Ancients, to the Creator who Shad revered, whoever would hear me–that they might save him and bring him back to me. He smiled one last time and whispered, I love you, darling, my Emma, into my soul as his melody was drained from him.

I was shattered glass.

I was shattered, splintered, fractured glass on that cold, damp cave floor. I was a broken thing, an unmendable, unfixable object, lying upon that floor. As I gazed upon Shad, as I watched Shad become drained of his soul, of his melody—and he became a Soulless; it was as if I had watched a part of me, even half of me, die.

He collapsed onto the floor, and Cade mused as he tucked the crystal that was on a necklace inside his shirt, Shad's melody trapped inside it.

"There, painless. Or well, semi-painless?"

Cade said as he motioned to a guard to open my cell. I slumped down to Shad's side, hating Cade more and more with a burning fury every moment that passed. Shad felt cold to the touch, and I looked into his eyes. The gold was gone. The sunshine—the warm, melted honey, my sunlight–Gone. No smile clung to the corners of his mouth. He looked at me with no emotion, and I looked past him to his brother.

"Your own brother, how could you?!"

I screamed, hearing Shad's precious melody radiating from Cade.

"Unfortunately, it runs in the family, love; nothing personal—or well, that's a lie; it is quite personal,"

he said as he walked out of the room with Shad's melody, I heard it singing to me, calling to my soul one last time, reaching for my heart—before the melody was gone.

Shad and I were then alone in the cave after Cade's quick departure.

I watched as Shad sat up slowly, hand on his heart.

We looked into each other's eyes, and I realized the truth as to why it was painfully silent, not even my melody could hum a tune for the loss of Shad's soul.

I cried and helped Shad stand.

He doubled over as soon as he was up, and the sound that escaped his lips and reverberated from off the walls was a moan and a scream, one of a deep, torturous pain that made me ache with him, my own soul ached deep, too, moaning as if it was tearing itself to pieces alongside of him.

As he finally stood to his full height, he walked to the edge of the cave in silence, and into the tunnels where we had entered only hours earlier—or had it only been minutes that had passed since we arrived at that place, both souls intact? The one small lantern Cadian so kindly left for us flickered in the darkness, casting strange shadows across the cave walls.

I picked it up as I followed Shad through the cave.

We were silent, as if discussing it or even saying anything would make it even worse than it already was.

We found our way through, passage after passage, somehow.

I could only see his back in the flickering light of the lantern, which I held.

I wanted to talk to him, to say something, but what does one say? I wanted to hold him and cry over our loss, and then promise him that I would never leave his side.

Whatever all of it meant, we would survive it, get through it, together; we would get through it together.

As a light spilled into the opening of the damp cave just ahead of us, I knew we had reached the opening.

The sunlight hit our faces, and I blinked away the brightness.

My vision adjusted to the sun.

I knew it had all been my fault, and that realization stung me.

If I hadn't been there, if I hadn't come, Shad would not have sacrificed himself for me.

He looked at me as I came up beside him. I grabbed his hand and squeezed, wanting him to know that I was sorry, that I was with him. As I looked into his eyes, there was still only blackness there. No golden glow, no small smile, trying to escape his lips. He looked down to my hand, grabbing his, and he shook my hand away as one does a mosquito. My hand went limp, falling heavily at my side, and I watched him walk through the forest and disappear into the trees, and I felt a hole punch through my heart. The ache was so strong, so powerful that I stood there frozen to the spot.

I didn't know how long I stood there, but slowly, that snake of despair and sorrow from my past coiled once again around my heart, and I gasped for breath, clutching my chest. I couldn't feel my heart anymore, only sorrow and pain. I slumped to the ground, not caring about the jagged rocks beneath me, cutting into my flesh. Shad was wrong; I wasn't strong enough to get through it. I could never survive such misery again.

As despair grew within me, I heard a single note from Shad's melody lingering, tinkling against my own.

I will figure out how to get Shad back—how to restore his soul , I told myself.

Numb, I stepped onto the forest path, watching as blood dripped down my legs from the unforgiving rocks that I had kneeled upon only moments before. The black, slimy snake curled its way up, deep inside of me, teasingly ready to strike, taunting me again as it had before. But I was mad, and I was determined to fix it all. So, I dared it to sink its venomous teeth into me, dared it to push me, and to my surprise, it recoiled, loosened its grip, and just slithered away.

You see, misery, grief, pain, and despair, together, are a snake, a cold-blooded, slimy, black snake. But hatred—hatred, you see, hatred is something else entirely—it is a monster . A monster so powerful that it overpowers even misery, thrashing about, leaving nothing in its wake, and as that monster clawed and roared within me, love left me, and all I could do was hate—feel hate for the one man who was the cause of all my misery, who had won that day—the man who I would ruin if it was the last thing I ever did.

As that monster of hate made its way even deeper into my consciousness, it replaced the snake of my misery, and I started to scream.

The End . . . for now.