24. Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

I showered, dressed, and packed my bags, my mind reeling with all of the new information, swimming around in my head. There was no way I could keep all of that information straight. Instead, I tried to focus on helping Ryker. Once he was safe, I could ask all the questions I wanted to ask and figure out more with time. I had time, right?

For the next phase of our journey, we would drive inland for a few hours in order to reach the trail which led to the cave where Keil believed Ryker was being held. Walking from the hotel, I put my bag in the trunk of the car and waited with Mary out front for Shad and Keil to arrive. They checked us out of our rooms and then grabbed a few supplies at a local sporting goods store across the street—because Mary and I did not have any real hiking gear with us. They came to the car with two large hiking backpacks, along with some light meals to carry with us.

As we moved further and further away from the coastline, Mary drove, and I watched Shad as he and Keil searched a map. They were pointing to some trails and marking things with a red pen.

"But if we take this one, it will cut one hour from our hike," Keil said with a smile.

"Yes, Keil, but it is also a one foot wide trail, up the side of a cliff. I won't risk that," Shad persisted.

Keil nodded as if he understood that it was not a realistic route for our group.

I was grateful for not having to scale the side of a cliff.

"You ready?" Shad asked, holding my hand. Our melodies played back and forth together, and I found so much comfort in it.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I replied with a fake smile.

"All will be well, Emma; all will be well. We will find Ryker, and everything will be okay."

I nodded. I knew that Shad believed that, but I did not. I knew that it would be dangerous, and I was in no way prepared for what we were about to face. How could I be? It had been less than forty-eight hours since my life had completely turned inside out. At least, I had Shad. His melody had such a calming influence over me. I watched out the window as I tried to coax my mind to relax, the hills and trees moving swiftly past us.

The car stopped suddenly, causing my head to fall into Shad's lap from off of his shoulder where I had fallen asleep. I looked up at him, and he smiled.

"Good dreams, Sleeping Beauty?" he asked, touching my face and brushing hair from off my cheek. His fingers lingered, caressing his electric touch into my skin. A fire spread within me—it was so wonderful, too wonderful— I want to kiss his mouth, his perfect mouth, his lips that lift so effortlessly into that smile—his smile. I pushed my thoughts away, hoping he had not heard them.

Emma —his melody called out to mine, and I could hear the longing within it.

"I'd wait even longer for you, than Prince Gideon did for his Briar,"

I smiled. The sleeping beauty story my mother had in her storybook was one of my favorites, but hard to believe.

"Did he really wait three hundred years for her?" I whispered.

He nodded, "He did, and he is your ancestor, you know, originating in Haleston, so he's a distant uncle of some sort."

"Is he still alive?" I asked, gazing into his golden eyes.

"No–he and his beloved Briar moved onto the Ancient lands. While Terrans live longer lives in this realm, in Terra we live what feels like what a normal life to you would be here."

"Humans on Earth got it wrong. Briar was not awakened by true love's first kiss," I said, reaching up to stroke some of Shad's midnight black hair from his brow.

"In a way, she was–" he began. Then I touched his lip softly, and he froze. Desire and want radiated from my melody to him. I wanted to kiss him so badly. Why had we not kissed? He seemed to want it, too. I removed my hand from his lips and pulled myself up and off of him.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep on you," I said, my cheeks heating up.

"Then it was a pleasant happenstance," he winked. "We are here," Shad continued, looking serious. Mary and Keil were already out of the car, unloading our supplies.

"I need to load up your backpack with necessities before we begin the hike," Shad said as we walked together around to the trunk of Keil's car.

It was around noon then, and being inland, it was hotter than it had been on the coast. I waited as the packs were loaded, and Shad helped me put mine on.

"What exactly is the plan? I mean, when we find him, will he be in a holding place of some sort—and guarded? Are we supposed to fight these people, or what?" I asked, looking from Shad to Mary, and then to Keil.

"Let me introduce you to Keil, one of the ancient warriors of Terra." Shad pointed to Keil.

"What does that mean?" I asked, my eyes large with surprise. Keil brought an ax out of the car, or well, what looked like an ax to me. It had what looked like ink etched into its handle. He also held a shield, and a sword was on his hip. "So, Keil is going to fight a whole group of evil, Terra-people?"

"Corrupt," Mary added. "We call these people The Corrupt . The ancient warriors of Terra have been Ancient blessed," Mary started to explain. "They can defeat any foe as long as it is in the name of truth and honor."

"Seriously, if we had this secret weapon this entire time, why were we running away? Just sick Keil on them."

Keil chuckled.

"While he has a gift, it is also not all powerful. Like I said, he has to be fighting for a direct cause and for the good of Terra, for the Ancients, or for their line," Mary explained.

"Emma, you are for the good of Terra. You are of Ancient blood. Getting you back and on your rightful throne as Princess of Haleston should be enough for my gift to work. We need Ryker because you need Ryker," Keil assured me.

"Okay."

Do not worry, Emma, Keil is very skilled , Shad's voice sounded within me. I looked at him and smiled.

"Okay, so let's do this. Ryker needs us." Keil started walking up a trail, and we all followed behind the ancient warrior.

"We have been hiking for hours. How much longer, Keil?" I wiped the sweat off of my forehead as I stopped. We had been walking for days, it seemed—only the truth of it was that it had actually just been three hours.

The forests were dense and thick. I clearly was not built for that kind of hiking.

"Tired, Princess?" Keil stood beside me, slowing down his pace to walk with me. I had been hanging at the back for over an hour. I was there for Ryker, I should not have been complaining. He never complained when he had held me in the hospital–when he had cried with me. I tried to push that memory away, to shut it behind a locked door in my brain. It wasn't useful there in that forest and on that mission.

I need conversation. I need distraction.

Shad came up beside me. I turned to see him tapping Keil on the shoulder. Keil nodded and went back up with Mary in front of us.

"When are we going to stop?" I huffed, my feet and body aching. The others were like robots, never stopping, always walking on and on.

"Soon," Shad said with a soft smile.

"We are close?"

"Somewhat, Are you tired?" he asked, looking at me with care in his expression and a melody that sang with mine.

"Shad, I want to sleep forever after this."

He laughed. "I am not so sure you do, Emma. Remember Briar?"

"Of course, would you wake me up with a kiss if I were cursed?" I asked with a smile.

"As you remember, a kiss did not wake her–Prince Gideon's patience did, which I greatly admire."

"But if I needed a kiss–"

"Emma–you are not cursed, so–"

"So you wouldn't kiss me to save me?"

"If you were sleeping? I could not kiss you without your consent." he said as if that was a clever answer.

"I give you consent, so will you– would you?"

"This is not ever going to happen, Emma–"

"Great, so you wouldn't; you would just let me sleep forever, " I said, raising my hands over my head dramatically, letting them fall against my thighs. "Good to know–" I said, walking as quickly as I could away from him.

"Emma, do not be upset. I can explain if you let me," he began as he followed closely behind me as I walked up the trail. I ignored him, fully distracted and motivated to continue the hike. We walked a little longer before taking a much needed break. My feet and legs rejoiced as I sank down beside Shad.

"Can we please camp here for the night? I'm not sure I can keep this up."

"But you said that the last time we stopped," Keil returned with a smirk.

I knew that there were bigger problems; I knew that. Ryker was missing, after all, and yes , of course, I remembered that. But, I didn't want to focus on that. I wanted to complain about my sore legs and the heat and how I wanted that hike from hell to end— right now! Not to mention the pain in my heart from Shad not answering me, which was an answer in it of itself.

"Emma, we are very close," Mary added, sitting beside me, putting her arm around me.

"I know, I know. I am sorry." I shook my head and felt shame wash over me. I shouldn't have complained about that hike when my best friend was probably being tortured at that very moment. No matter if it distracted me, I shouldn't have complained. I did try not to dwell on Ryker being hurt, though, and that, in and of itself, made it easier for me to keep up the facade that I was only a teenager, and that I was only on an exhausting hike in the wilderness, during a vacation. But the truth was that I wasn't a normal teenage girl. I wasn't even a normal human. I was from another realm, and I was an heir to a throne. I was also being hunted by a horrible prince who wanted to steal my soul and use it for evil. So that fa?ade I had created of being a moody teenager, having a temper tantrum on a hike, it wasn't exactly working; my life was way too complicated for that.

Stop pretending to be someone you are not, Emma. You are wonderful just how you are.

I sat there on a wet log, next to Shad, and thought about Ryker, about the last conversation I had with him, over and over again.

"Emma, you need to let that go. Ryker knows you did not understand everything. I doubt he holds anything against you." One good thing from our connection was that Shad always knew just how I felt without me having to explain myself. I was still irritated with our last conversation, but I would shelve that for the moment. I needed to talk to him. I bit back my pride.

"But it was our last conversation, and what happens if that's the last thing we ever talk about?" I let a tear fall then, and wiped it away quickly.

"I understand, but I know Ryker, and he will do anything in his power to make it back to protect you. He is awfully stubborn, you know." He winked at me. I was so grateful to have Shad, Mary, and Keil—so grateful that I was not alone.

"Okay—break is over. We need to keep moving and make camp before nightfall," Keil said to us.

I got up, not groaning that time, and I praised myself, inside my head, for exhibiting that small amount of self-control. I could not focus on the physical pains anymore. Instead, I thought about Ryker and where he might be, and as I did, tears dripped down my face in rivulets for the hours that we walked. I couldn't imagine a life without Ryker, without my best friend, my only friend for most of my life.

Finally, we reached a small clearing, and Keil said it was a good place to make camp for the night. We had one more hike for a few hours the next day, and that would bring us within a mile from the mouth of the cave, the cave that held Ryker.

Or so, we all hoped.

"So we need to reach our next campsite by ten tomorrow morning. We need to be packed and ready to go by six-thirty at the latest," Keil explained as he set his hiking backpack down near a log. "Then I will leave the camp and walk the mile to the mouth of the cave and see what I can find—see if there is anyone watching for us. I will come back and report my findings, and then we'll decide what to do from there."

"What if someone catches you? Shouldn't we have a plan if you do not come back within like an hour or so?" I asked, setting my backpack down where Keil had discarded his.

"I think that's a good idea," Mary agreed, looking over to Keil.

"If I don't come back in an hour, Mary will come looking for me." Keil nodded to Mary.

The thought of Mary being alone out there made me sick.

"We need Shad to stay with Emma and keep her safe," Keil added before I could protest.

"Okay," I gulped, hoping there was no need for Mary to go in alone and endanger herself.

Mary took my arm. "All will be well. You will see. The good that is within us is stronger than any horror we will face," Mary added. "We have our melodies. We are blessed."

I knew Mary was only trying to comfort me, but I didn't think anything she or anyone else said could make me feel less afraid.

"Let's make camp then," Keil said, unzipping his backpack.

I had camped a lot in my life as a child, but had not been in years. When we had camped, though, we went to campsites with showers and bathrooms and running water. I thought we had roughed it back then, but that was nothing in comparison. Our toilet was a tree, and our shower was any flowing water we came across. Mary pulled our tent out of her pack and laid it out in a small opening, near the tree line. I walked over to her and helped her put it up. Ryker and Keil wasted no time doing the same.

"I'm going to look for firewood," I said, walking into the trees once we had finished setting up the tent.

"Stay in sight, please," Mary called to me.

I waved back at her.

"I will accompany her," Shad called back to Keil and Mary. They both nodded and started taking food out of their packs to prepare for dinner.

"Are you okay, Emma?" Shad asked, jogging up to me. He reached for my hand, tangling our fingers together in the way I loved. Electric heat rose in my chest, and our melodies found each other and danced. Then I remembered another boy with sandy blond hair and blue-gray eyes who used to hold my hand, and I felt sadness— Ryker? I will not cry, I will not cry.

"I—just tell me we will find him, Shad," I begged, stopping to pick up a stick.

"I promise you, I will find him—for you." He touched my cheek as I stood up. "There is nothing, Emma, I would not do for you."

He wrapped his arms around my waist. Just being that close to him made my soul sing with joy, and caused me to focus on something other than my sadness from the loss of Ryker and where he was and what was happening to him—and if we were too late. He placed his chin on the top of my head, and our melodies flowed and swayed and swirled around each other—and there we stood within each other's arms in the middle of the woods. Everything somehow felt right, like all the sadness and all the pain in the world just melted away from us, and we would be okay as long as we held each other. As long as our melodies sang together, nothing could break us, nothing could stop us, nothing could hurt the ones we loved. Together, we would restore and mend all of the broken things.

"Maybe we could just stay here forever," I said, pretending it was a real possibility.

"That, Emma, is the best idea I have heard all day," Shad replied, pulling away from our embrace to look into my eyes. His golden eyes found mine, and I wanted to melt into him forever. He smiled at me.

"We could just live in the trees and build tree houses out of sticks," I whispered, unable to speak louder because I was too entranced by his eyes.

"We could hunt for our food," Shad whispered to me, a little unsteady.

"Have no rules," I added, as my body, my head, my legs, and my arms moved closer and closer and closer to him.

"None at all," he agreed as he stepped forward so that every inch of us, other than our heads, were touching. His body caused my body to buzz with the electric current as it flowed back and forth between us—as if we were on the edge of something, as if—if we would have moved just a bit closer, just a fraction of an inch closer, we would have exploded without separating; we would have exploded together and into each other. As if we came any closer—we would have learned what we could be , what we could have together.

My head moved up toward his. He bent his head down, close to mine, and our melodies swirled around us like some beautiful, perfect storm, and our noses brushed against each other's. I think—I think—No, I know that this is peace; this is heaven, and this is where I have always belonged. He dragged his nose down my jaw, and I knew that I had melted into him. He was me, and I was him because I didn't know what was happening to my body, for I leaned into him, and he leaned into me. His legs were mine; he made me whole.

His lips were in front of mine. I stared into his honey-colored eyes and thought, yes—this is it. Yes—kiss me. As soon as I thought those words, as soon as my melody shared them with Shad, he pulled away from me. And I knew that I had lost something. I knew that something had just been taken from me—and I wanted to find it; I wanted to have it back—I ached for it, and my body wanted to drop to the forest floor and mourn the loss of it—weep tears of sadness until it came back to me, whatever it was.

"I am sorry, Emma."

"What is happening to me?" I said, unable to breathe, confusion rattling through my limbs.

"Emma, our bond is overwhelmingly strong. I am so sorry. I should not have gotten so close to you, not like that."

"But I wanted you to—I mean, I want you to be close to me, Shad," I said, and it felt right; it felt true.

"Oh, Emma—please," his voice cracked. "I–there is nothing more that I want, than that–but–"

I watched him as he stepped further away from me, as if—if he were to get too close to me, I would burn him, and he would burn me, as if we were toxic to each other, and I thought— I know that isn't true; together we are magic.

"Shad, I am sorry. I am not trying to do anything to hurt you."

"You are not hurting me," he said, as he straightened the collar of his button-down dress shirt. I watched as he fixed his black tie, not realizing before that moment what he was wearing, how he looked out there in that wild place, and I smiled: this is Shad; this is him, and I want all of him.

Emma, you cannot think things like that, Shad whispered to my soul.

What things? I thought.

That you want me—that you want to kiss me. Please, you are making it really difficult for me to be a gentleman.

I watched him as he fixed his hair, watched as he studied me, fear in his eyes.

What if–what if I do not want you to be a gentleman?

He took a deep, sharp breath, and I swear, his eyes almost glowed.

"I am sorry, Shad. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, exactly. Why can't I want to kiss you?"

"We cannot kiss, Emma. I am sorry, but there are things that we need to discuss, and we cannot right now, not at this moment. I should be in better control around you," he cleared his throat.

"Control?" I laced my fingers together, and I tried to not let his words cut me, not let them dig into me, but they did, and my melody was pierced, crying, and bleeding, and I thought: Why are you afraid? What have I done?

I am not afraid of you, Emma. You have done nothing. He finally walked closer to me, taking my hands in his, and I felt our souls bending together once again. "It's just that there are so many things you don't know about me, about Terra, and about who you are. Your mother's storybook does not hold many things that transpired after her arrival here–I don't want us to go too fast. I don't want to ruin what this is between us—our beautiful friendship."

Friendship—

Friendship—

Friendship—

I repeated that word in my head over and over and over, and it felt wrong; it didn't feel right, and I hated it. I hated the shape of it on my tongue; I hated the sound of it from Shad's mouth; I hated the way it floated to me in the air. I hated each letter, each sound they made, and the syllables and their individual shapes. Had I read every single thing wrong?

"I understand this is strange for you, so let's worry about finding Ryker, and the rest—we will figure it all out later."

"Later?" I asked.

"Yes."

"When?" I was too shocked and confused to even form a sentence.

"After we find Ryker, we can talk and figure this out—after that."

There was a long pause, and we just stared at each other. I never wanted another thing to look at, just those eyes–just him. He was the sunshine I had always needed in my life, but had never realized it; I had only ever known cloudy days.

"But Shad, I know what I want."

"Emma," he breathed out my name in desperation. "I am sorry to disappoint you, Emma, but it is simply that kissing to me, kissing on the lips , isn't something taken lightly on Terra. It is–something Ancient Heir's of Terra vow to cherish and with that vow, we make a promise that can never be undone–"

"I don't take it lightly, either," I said in irritation. I had never kissed anyone before–never wanted to, even, not before him. Picking up some sticks for kindling—trying to distract myself from the confusion that was roaring inside of me. "I have never even been kissed, for real, before. It's not like I want to kiss everyone." Only you.

"I know you don't, but people in this realm do not embrace the Ancients and their magic. They think of kisses differently, so I could understand you feeling different. And this connection we share, it makes you feel things for me, and I don't want that to confuse you."

"What, now that you kissed me on the cheek, not even my lips, we have to marry?" I asked with a laugh as I looked at Shad.

His face paled, and he looked worried as he brushed a hand over his face. "I am so sorry. I never should have gotten so close to you—kissed you, even like that; I never should have kissed you at all. Please, forgive me, Emma. Our connection is really strong, and I am sorry—"

Is being with me really that horrible? That regretful?

I was a broken vase on the floor.

"A kiss for a sworn Ancient Heir, is like a vow, a promise. Maybe for you, a good comparison would be like a marriage proposal of sorts. It is a serious, well thought-out, and planned tradition." He bent down and picked up a stick. "I just can't do that when I desire to, I must show restraint. When I kiss a maiden, Emma, on her lips, it will be because she will be the one I will vow myself to—and she will vow herself to me. I don't think you are ready for that, and that is okay."

At that moment, I knew he was right. I knew that I didn't want to get married, nor did I want to make some sort of magical vow–right then. I wasn't ready for that. I knew I was too young; that would be insane. But, the pain from his words struck me as if he had taken the broken pieces of me and stepped on them, slowly crushing me into dust. I tried to tell myself that it was okay, that no one at our age would want marriage, or even think seriously about it. And while I wanted to date him, how could I, at sixteen, know who I was supposed to marry? I liked Shad, but marriage? He was right; maybe it was good that we had not kissed, especially if it meant that to him. Maybe it was also good that we had not kissed because I wasn't sure about anything in my life anymore. Knowing all that hurt. Maybe this connection is making me feel things too strongly.

"I am not ready to get married, not yet," I whispered.

"Kissing doesn't mean you have to get married, necessarily, but it is a vow, and you just have to be careful because—if you mark someone, their melody is etched onto your soul."

I was silent. I didn't know what else to say. There were bigger things, more important things going on right then than us, but it hurt that I couldn't have him, couldn't have all his kisses, and couldn't have all his love—that I could not have his melody etched onto my soul.

He touched my face and moved my head so that our eyes met.

"You are the most important person to me, the most important person in all the realms. Please, know that; I want you to know that, Emma. I need you to know that."

I buried his words inside my heart. I kept them close as I nodded. "We should probably get firewood. Keil and Mary will need it soon if we are going to eat tonight."

"Yes, of course. You are okay, right, Emma?" His eyes looked worried, and I pulled out a smile. "If it helps, I do desire it–I desire to kiss you."

"You do?" I asked. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

"Every moment of every day," he grunted into the side of my neck, kissing me there for a second before pulling away.

"So, it is not because you do not like me–"

"Of course not."

"Okay. I can be okay with that, then. Thank you."

"Of course," he said with a nod.

"Let's focus on finding Ryker," I answered, again my mind buzzing with too much information. I would need years to think it all over.

We walked side by side, bending over every once in a while, finding something we could use for a fire. As we made our way back, the shadows lengthened and the sky began to dim; stars began to dot the sky. We stepped into the clearing to see Mary and Keil looking over the map with a flashlight.

"We have the firewood," I called as we dropped the wood in the middle of our camp. Keil and Mary didn't look up. Shad bent down and started constructing a fire, and I thought about Ryker, once building a fire and doing a horrible job of it. I laughed at the memory, and then cried because Ryker wasn't there with us.

"Emma?" Shad asked as he added kindling to the fire. I watched as the fire caught, and he eased the larger logs onto it. I knew what his soul was asking—if I was okay.

"Would you stop asking me, Shad? You know I am not okay." I sat down beside him in the dirt.

"I know, but I keep hoping that one of these times when I ask, you will be," he said carefully.

"I am still not sure what to think of all this, and maybe I'm not even fully convinced that this isn't just a dream. I don't even know who I am anymore."

"You are strong and brave. You love fiercely, and you give people second chances. You are passionate, kind, and honest."

"Shad—"

"You are everything—my truest and best friend. You are all I will ever need, ever. With you by my side, Emma, I will never need another thing until the day I die."

"Except food and water," I said with a smirk.

"Yes, of course, but are you getting my point?"

"Yes, I will trust you. But for the record, I don't like being called your friend ."

"You are my truest and best friend. Maybe, someday, I can explain to you exactly what that means to me, and then you won't hate it so much," he smiled. "What is most surprising about all of this?"

"The fact that all my mother's stories were real." I shook my head. "It still sounds so weird–fairy tales are real in another realm–a world that is my home."

"What else?" he asked, moving away from the fire, letting it rise up and do its thing.

"And, the fact that I am an heir, a princess who is supposed to save people. I do not feel capable of that, Shad, not capable at all, but you all make it seem so easy and natural, like breathing—I do not think I could ever be like that with all of this."

"You don't have to go out tomorrow and slay every foe at once. You simply take it one foe at a time, and let them come to you. You will find their weaknesses, and then you will conquer them."

"So, in Embra there are dragons, right?"

"There were a few left," he answered, and I could tell from his melody that he did not know what my reason was for asking.

"Do you–are your eyes dragon eyes?" I asked softly. My mother wrote of golden eyes in a specific fairy tale where an Embran prince searched for a true princess. He discovered one–one who had golden dragon eyes. Their union brought back the dragons that had been in hiding for five hundred years.

"Yes, they are," he nodded.

"Dragon eyes are real–" I mumbled.

"It's okay, Emma–" Shad began, moving some hair that was covering my eye behind my ear.

"This is so overwhelming, more and more information just keeps–" I shook my head; it was too much, too much information at once. We were silent for a time, both of us looking at the fire as it climbed up the largest log and burned it slowly, taking its time.

"I am scared, Shad," I admitted, leaning on his shoulder.

"I know. But Emma, I will be with you."

As I watched the fire burn and the flames dance around the logs and the sun make its final dip behind the trees and the mountain in the distance, I could not help but feel so small in the scheme of things.

That fire seems more powerful than me. It has the ability to burn down this entire forest — animals, humans, plants, everything—burn them to a crisp, and all starting from just one small flame. I do not even compare to it.

Yes, you do. The comment bounced around my head.

You do not know that.

I know you, Emma; I know you are more powerful than any fire. You will conquer your enemies, and they will wish they had burned up instead of having to deal with you.

You are making me feel like some horrible warlord.

I heard a laugh; faint, but there. Not a warlord, but Emma, the Princess of Haleston. You do not know it yet, but many will fall at your feet, praising your name. You are the one who so many have been waiting for. You should not fear the corruption; it should fear you. You are the fire that will destroy the corrupt—the evil. You are the fire that will clean the land and make it new.