10. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

" Y ou seriously have the coolest aunt," Ash said as she walked into my backyard the next day afterschool. Mary had, indeed, outdone herself. I honestly didn't expect anything less because Mary loved to throw a good party. While she was going to be home, she promised that she would stay inside and not embarrass me. I laughed because she was not embarrassing at all. She honestly seemed like an older sister to me most of the time.

"Did I hear someone say that I was the coolest?" Mary stood behind a table of drinks as she organized them. She wore a pretty, pink dress, and her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail. She was always effortlessly beautiful, the way my mom had always been.

"Mary, this is Ash," I said, motioning for Ash to come over to the drink table.

"Nice to meet you, Ash. You are new to town?" Mary asked with a friendly smile that seemed forced. She was looking oddly at Ash, just as Ryker had at school.

I continued to watch as they shook hands over the table. Mary watched Ash closely as if waiting for Ash to burst into flames any second.

"Yes, I moved over the summer. I met Ryker , too." Ash said, dropping Mary's hand.

"Oh, how wonderful. Glad to hear that. How nice—well, I hope you two have fun," Mary said, clapping her hands in front of her. I noticed as she spoke, her tone changed back to her normal cheerful self. Odd; Am I imagining things now, reading way too much into everything? Does she not like Ash?

Ash smiled.

"Well, we need to get our suits on; people may be showing up any minute. I have no idea how many because this kind of got away from me," I admitted.

"Seriously, who knew I would be besties with the most popular girl at school?" Ash giggled as we walked to the sliding glass door.

"I am so not popular, Ash."

"I mean, you're not a cheerleader, and thank heaven because they are always too stuck up. But, you are the kind of popular where people respect you, don't fear you or want to outdo you."

I turned to her. "What?" I was completely confused.

"Everyone knows you, and everyone has good things to say," she shrugged.

"Except Karen Manning—she hates me."

Ash laughed. "I stay away from the cheerleaders of the world—so what's up with Ryker? You like him?"

I tried to stop my insides from squirming and was surprised to find that I didn't need to. Instead, I found myself saying: "He is my best friend, more like a brother, really. I've known him forever. He's annoyingly protective of me."

"I totally get it. I have this guy, he is a family friend, and he keeps pretending to be like an all protective brother, too, and it gets so annoying," she said as she rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I know Ryker was a little bent out of shape about Shad, but if I talk to Ryker and hang with him tonight, you can get to know Shad."

"Wow, that would be nice, actually."

"I want you to know that Ryker is not my type, but I will help you," Ash assured me.

"I appreciate it. I haven't really ever seen him date before," I shrugged, realizing that truth for the first time in my life. Why? Why has he never dated? Over the years, he was asked plenty of times, and I always remember him saying "no" or telling me about someone asking him and him refusing. Maybe that would be the year it would change. Maybe if I got him a girlfriend, he would be less hostile. Ash was out of the question, obviously. But maybe I could find someone else.

"Well, that's strange. He is pretty fire, even if I wouldn't ever date him," she fanned herself.

I laughed, "Do people really say that?"

"I just did," she shrugged. We walked toward my bedroom. I changed in the bathroom down the hall and let Ash have my room to change. I met her back inside my room and noticed the dried out lavender rose from Shad was on my bed.

"Did you move that?" I asked, picking up the flower and placing it back on my dresser.

"Oh, what?" she replied, looking at herself in my full-length mirror.

"This rose over here?" I called to her.

"No, I don't know what you mean," she responded, walking out.

"Never mind," I said, taking in her suit. "Love your suit." It was a green, one-piece, low cut suit but still covered all the basics.

"Thanks, it's old but the only one I've got," she smiled. "I didn't think to bring a cover-up, which would have been smart."

"Oh, I have tons of them. They are in that drawer there. Have your pick," I said, pulling my hair back into a high ponytail while motioning to the correct drawer with my elbow. She pulled out a black dress cover-up, and even though she was shorter than I was, it fit her fine.

"You ready?" I asked, turning to her. "I think I heard the doorbell. There are probably a few people already here."

"Yes, let's have the time of our lives," she said, pulling me from my room, our arms linked together. I couldn't help but like her. She was so nice, and she made being her friend very easy. I needed that.

It was two hours into the pool party, and I was standing over by the speakers when I first heard Ryker's booming call. I turned from the drink table to look where I had heard his voice.

"Emma!"

I walked over to where Ryker stood, beside Ash at the edge of the pool.

"Hey, Ry, you finally made it," I gave him a quick hug and smiled.

"Of course—Wouldn't miss this rager."

I looked around, and there were what appeared to be fifty or so students from Oak High, way more than I had expected. People were dancing, swimming, eating, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I wanted Shad to get there before Ryker was done with practice, but he hadn't arrived. What was keeping Shad? Did he really have such a long shift at work? Was Shad as busy as Ryker had suggested?

"Yeah, who would have thought?" I shrugged.

"Me, I knew it," Ash said with a grin. "You want to go swim, Ryker?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," he said, running fingers through his hair. Ash smiled at me. I watched as Ryker stripped off his shirt to reveal an athlete's body. He was bulky with big muscles from all the hard work of playing football. I knew he was a very attractive boy, and I watched as Ash's eyes grew large, taking him in. I tried not to laugh. Ryker did not seem to even notice.

"See you later, Em," Ryker said before he dove straight into the water. I was grateful he was no longer glaring at Ash. He seemed to be trying to be less of a bear . I sat down in a chair in the corner and watched all of the people I had known for years talk and mingle in my backyard. It was so weird to me, seeing them all at my house. I was grateful to Ash and Mary for helping with the party, even if I wasn't exactly in the party mood. That was when I noticed him , stepping through the glass sliding door of my house. His hair was perfectly styled in that careless, messy way. He wore black slacks and a white, buttoned, collared shirt with a dark red, tie and a black belt. I wondered if he had ever attended a pool party before because his outfit was severely lacking in pool party vibes. I watched as girls in bikinis made their way over to him. He smiled polite smiles at them, but kept his gaze at eye level as he did so. He walked on, looking around. I hoped he was looking for me.

I stood up and made my way to the food table, trying to remain calm.

"There you are. It would seem that at your own party, you are hard to find." I turned around to see his handsome face, looking at me. I took in steady breaths, as again, the familiar song emerged between us. I could hardly breathe.

"Well, are you not fashionably late?" I asked, popping a chip into my mouth to disguise my breathlessness.

"Yes, sorry about that. I had to take care of some things for our family business." He pursed his lips.

"Oh yeah, what kind of business?" I asked, grabbing another chip from the bowl.

"It's kind of like a detective agency. I mostly file paperwork and do office tasks—It helps pay for my gas. I should have texted you. That would have been the proper thing to do." He looked irritated at himself, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You have a swimsuit on under all that?" I asked, motioning to his body.

"No, I wasn't able to change, I came straight from work, actually. Are you going to swim?" he asked, looking at my cover up dress.

"Yes. And you should go back to your house and change; it won't be much fun without a suit, and I mean a swim suit."

He smiled wide, "I assure you, Emma, I am already having plenty of fun." He winked at me, and I tried to stop the heat that was rising in my cheeks, but I knew it was there, and I couldn't hide it. Winking seemed to be a thing he did often, I liked it.

"Well, swim or not, but I have to get in; it's so hot." I walked past him and headed for the pool where Ryker and Ash were hanging with a few other kids.

The water felt cold and fresh as I dived in. I popped up in front of Ryker, and he splashed me in the face.

"Hey," I said, splashing him back. Ash swam over to me.

"Ryker said your pool has colored lights at night," she said with a grin.

"It does."

"Maybe, when all these people leave, we can stay a bit longer? You know, because we know the hostess?" Ash asked.

"You are more ‘hostess' than me."

We swam for a while and played a few games. I forgot my worries and felt like a normal person. Knowing that Shad was just sitting a few feet away brought such peace to my soul, although I wished he would join us.

People started to leave around five. I assumed they went home for dinner as we had run out of food. I got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around my waist, noticing only a dozen people still there. I saw Shad sitting at the picnic table. He leaned back just a bit in his chair. One foot was over his knee, and his fingers were spinning a cup on the table. I heard his song in my head again, and wanted to hum along to it, but thought better of it, because I needed to keep my sanity, of course. Instead, I grabbed myself a water bottle and made my way over to him.

"Hey, having fun?" I asked. He didn't look up, just kept watching his cup under his fingertips.

"I missed you," I thought he said. I could barely hear it because he whispered it, or did I just imagine him saying it? I shook my head, uncertain.

"What?" I asked, taking a sip of my water.

"Oh—" he started, still not looking at me, which seemed odd because I always seemed to catch him watching me. "Looked like you were having fun," he said, peeking over at me. He smiled and looked at me from head to toe before clearing his throat and widening his eyes. Then I watched as something washed over his face, and he darted his eyes away as if he didn't want me to notice that he had noticed me standing in front of him in a bathing suit.

Who, on Earth, is this boy?

"You would have had fun, too, if you had your swimsuit on," I said with a smile. He looked at me, his eyes searching mine. "We are turning the pool lights on; it will be dark soon," I said, not knowing what else to say. "You should, at least, take your shoes off, roll those pants up, and dip your feet in," I suggested, tilting my head to the side, trying to beg him with my eyes.

"I could probably manage that," he agreed, standing up from his chair and undid the knot in his tie. I watched as he folded it with care and precision and placed it on the table. Next, he unbuttoned two buttons from the top of his shirt, and I could not help but let my mouth hang open. My cheeks burned, embarrassed at how I always reacted to him. I gulped down another sip of my water as I watched him fold back the sleeves of his shirt, take his shoes and socks off, place his socks into his shoes, then fold up his pant legs. I stared at him. I wondered if his father was in the military. That had to be the reason he was so formal, so put together, and so in control. I wished I could have been more like that, but I always felt like I was falling apart. He seemed to know exactly what he wanted to do. He held out his arms. My pulse quickened, just thinking about embracing him. I cleared my throat.

"This good?" he asked, smiling at me with his smirking grin.

I nodded because words escaped me. While he looked more casual than I had ever seen him before, he was still one-hundred percent put together.

How? How does someone do that?

The sky changed from blue to pink, and then the stars began to appear. I sat at the edge of the pool with Shad, our feet dangling in the water, side by side.

"So, where did you move from?" I asked, looking at him as he watched the night sky with a frown on his face.

"East Coast," he answered.

"Wow, that's far from California."

"Yeah, traveling is something my family likes to do–a lot."

"I've traveled in the summertime, but I've lived in this house my entire life."

"How wonderful," he said in a low whisper.

"What?" I asked, looking at him.

"How wonderful that you have always been here, in the same place. Having a home is special."

"I always thought that it was the people who make a home, home ," I shrugged.

"That is very true." I watched as Ryker swam to the other side of the pool. Ash and him were talking, and I was happy that their conversation was distracting Ryker from noticing what I was doing. I didn't need his attempts to keep me from Shad ruining my night. I wanted to know who Shad was, know everything about him, especially why he wore dress clothes every day of his life. I wondered if he even owned a t-shirt. I laughed at myself: of course he does; he probably sleeps in one.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked. I looked at him, and he seemed amused.

"Do you own even one t-shirt?"

"A t-shirt?" he asked, seemingly baffled.

"It's just—you always wear this," I said, motioning to his clothing. "And I wondered if it's all you have in your closet."

He chuckled.

"I have a few t-shirts, but I used to attend private school, and I have to wear this attire for work."

"So Karen's assessment was accurate," I laughed.

He paused, touching the sleeve of his shirt. "Formal wear is just comfortable to me—feels like me, you know?"

"Comfortable?" I questioned.

"Yes. What about you? What clothing makes you feel most like yourself?"

I thought about it. I didn't have an item of clothing that made me feel like me. I loved my sun dresses, and I loved my pajamas, but that sounded boring. "I like sundresses. They make me feel pretty."

"I don't think you could ever not look pretty, Emma." he whispered my name, and his face was next to my ear, his lips almost touching my skin, and his breath caressed me there like a soft touch. I leaned into him, his chest against my back, and electricity pulsed through me as I turned my head and looked at him. He sat still, staring back at me.

One moment, I was staring into his golden eyes; then the next moment, it was as if I was someone else– him, perhaps–looking at myself. I was looking into my own green eyes. Feelings erupted through me, and I tried to catch my breath. Words like:

perfection,

wonder,

beauty,

mine .

Those words floated through my mind, but I somehow knew that they were not my own thoughts, not my own words, and it confused me. I blinked, and then I was looking into Shad's golden eyes once again. I turned away, and I wondered if I was losing my sanity for the thousandth time.