24. Elizabeth

Chapter 24

Elizabeth

E lizabeth knew that she hurt. She knew that breathing was challenging if she breathed too deeply. She knew that if she lifted her head again, the world would swim around her and might go dark. She knew that her head didn’t feel precisely right. But she had never been more content than she felt in Mr. Darcy’s arms. Everything was going to be just fine. How could it be otherwise when he was there?

But her mind kept swimming around thoughts and everything was as muddy as her cave. Was she in a cave? She didn’t completely understand exactly where she was or how they were going to leave. But that was part of her confusion. Nothing worked in order. Didn’t thoughts follow one another? Weren’t they supposed to be in careful order?

Mr. Darcy’s heartbeat pounded against her arm that rested on his chest. Its steady, fast, strong beating kept her brain in some sort of rhythm. Without its steadiness, she worried thoughts would spin round and round and out of control. But the constant sensation steadied her breathing, slowed her thoughts, and eventually led her own heart to beat in tune with his. She closed her eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep.” He shifted his chin on her head.

“I’m so tired. And you’re so nice.” She smiled. “You are better than my pillow. Maybe I shall use you from now on.” She laughed to herself and then groaned. “Ow.”

“Keep talking. I don’t care what you say, in fact I’d quite enjoy if you keep flirting with me.”

“I’m not… Oh my goodness. Mr. Darcy. I’m so sorry. I am not asking… I don’t mean to presume. Oh please.” She felt her face heat. Had she just invited Mr. Darcy to be her pillow, in her bed? She wished to sleep now, for a long time. “I should stop talking. I really should.”

“I’m enjoying this. Come now. What else could I be used for? A pillow is good. But I’m lumpy.”

She began to protest.

“No, I am. Nothing like the soft down of most pillows. At least I hope not.” He laughed. “What else could I do? I could be a door stopper for you.”

“What?”

“Yes, when the door closes too soon and you’re not through? No footman around and there it is, closing before its time. Someone has to take care of that.”

She smiled against his chest. “A door stopper would be nice.”

“What about a handkerchief?”

Her laugh burst out of her in surprise. “No. What a terrible thing for you. They are used for all manner of things.”

“Yes, I see your point. I’d like to be your spare.”

“My spare?”

“Yes, I always carry a spare. And that one would just get to ride along with you wherever you went; close. You could take me out now and again. Sniff me if other odors were unpleasant, dab your face and forehead and…lips.” He chuckled when she gasped. “And then you could place me back close to your heart. I’d like that.”

“You are much more amusing than I ever imagined.”

“I am speaking much more freely than I’ve ever spoken with anyone. Come now. What else could I be?”

She thought for a moment. “You could be my book reader.”

He held her close. “Now that’s a job I would gladly take. But it has to be near a fire, with your feet in my lap, a blanket draped over us both, a tray of delights from Cook, and snow. Outside. A gentle, quiet snow falling.”

Her soft sigh made him warm all over again. “That sounds nice. Yes, that is your most important job.”

“Oh, there could be better ones even than that.”

She couldn’t imagine a single other one.

“Certainly. I could be the man who says good morning.”

She gasped. “Arthur.”

The use of his name on her lips surprised her, but she could think of no other way to express her intimate surprise. “You shouldn’t speak so.”

“We’re in a cave by ourselves. Now is the moment we may speak so.”

She could see the logic in that. But then again, something about that felt dangerous. It wasn’t clear. But something should be worrying her. She knew it, but couldn’t feel it, not with Mr. Darcy saying such things.

“What would you say in the morning?”

“You mean, besides good morning?”

She laughed. “Yes, or is that all you would say?”

“Oh no. That is not all. But it might not be the same thing every day. Some mornings it could be something as simple as good morning, sunshine.”

She nodded against his chest, too happy for words at the delightful turn of such a fantasy. For the reality of his thoughts was too good for words.

“But other mornings I might say something like, “You. Are. Beautiful.”

“Mm.”

“Yes, and then other mornings I might say other things.”

“You are done revealing your secrets?”

“Some are to be a surprise, and some might just have to be spontaneous, in the moment kinds of things.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Are you a spontaneous type of person, Miss Elizabeth?”

“Call me Lizzie.”

He hesitated a moment and then repeated, “Lizzie.”

A delicious thrill rushed through her. What a beautiful sound to hear his voice speak her most intimate name. She breathed in and out two full times, savoring it. “I am spontaneous.”

He smiled. She could feel the movement of his jaw.

“But other times I’m a planner.”

“I can see that.”

“Yes, well, if a person thinks a thing through for but a moment, everything might flow all the better for it.”

“I completely agree. And yet some things are moments for immediate action, and so one must not be held up by the planning.”

“Certainly not. But it doesn’t take very long to plan. I think you can be both.”

“I agree with you. I think everyone should be a little bit of both.”

“I’m afraid I’m a lot spontaneous and only a small portion planner.”

“So, if we were walking along, and it was a hot day, would you jump into the pond?”

She considered him a moment. Dare she admit?

“I would, and I have.”

“You have? Which pond is this?”

“There is one not too far from my house.” She considered her next words but then giggled. “And I had to undress a bit to do it.”

He made a mock gasping sound. “Miss Elizabeth Bennet, you did not.”

“I did, and I’m proud of it.” She pressed her lips together. “Although I never imagined telling anyone else, and I’m not sure how I feel about that part.”

“I shall only think the best things about you no matter what you tell me. I give my word.” He laughed and then whispered, “I think even better of you knowing you did such a thing.”

“I like that.”

“Why are you pleased?”

“I think I would most enjoy a relationship with someone who could know me fully, completely, and love me.” She almost bit the words back in, but they were said and there was nothing further to be done, so she kept talking. “And, of course, know that I’m not perfect. I do silly things, annoying things, unwise things I’m certain, though I can’t think of anything particular at the moment.”

He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “I am certain you are not often unwise.”

He was quiet a moment and then he said, “I wish I was a better brother.”

“I am certain you are almost always the best brother in the world.”

“Fitz.” He sighed. “Georgiana.” He breathed deeply, trying to express what he hadn’t even really realized about himself until that moment. “If I did less for them, they would be better.”

She nodded. “They are quite remarkable, you know.”

“I do. I think I’m realizing that more about Fitz. I was quite surprised at his choice to stay in at dinner. But then I realized he was not being negligent. It wasn’t himself he was putting first.” He cleared his throat. “It was you.”

She nodded against him.

“Is there… Do you…?” He sighed.

“No.” She squeezed his hand. “There is no understanding between us. There is only simply a dinner invitation.”

He leaned his head back in relief. “All the same, he is quite impressed.”

“He does not know me at all.”

“Oh, but I’m certain he does. You are quite impressive upon first meeting.”

She shook her head. “Do you want to know what I overheard him say when he first saw me?”

He groaned. “I’m not certain I do.”

“Perhaps I’ll have him tell you when we are all together next.” She lifted their hands. “Fitz is not even remotely enamored with me.”

Arthur held her closer again, running his thumb over the back of her glove. “I am dreading the time when you will be lifted from my arms, but at the same time, I’m becoming concerned. They should be back by now. We need to get you warm and call the doctor. With any luck, he is already at the house.”

“I hope all is well up there.”

A cold, wet something nudged her arm. She yelped. “What is that?” She twisted, ignoring the sharp pains that shot through her. A soft head with a cold, wet nose rested in her lap. “Well, hello there.”

“Is this a dog?”

“I’m almost certain.”

He held up the lamp. “Yes. A very mangy-looking dog.”

“Oh, don’t insult him so. We are partners in this pit. He’s perfectly adorable.”

“Yes, adorable.” He pet the pup’s head. “So it was for you we ended up here?”

“I think so.”

The dog whimpered.

“Oh, don’t you worry. We’re with Mr. Darcy. Everything is going to be just fine.”

Distant voices brought a feeling of relief and dread all at once. “I think they are coming.”

“Yes.”

For a moment, neither said anything. But then Arthur pressed his mouth to the top of her head. “Will you be all right if I stand?”

“I think so.”

He used his shoulder to brace against the muddy wall and rose with her in his arms. Then he placed her back on the ground. The dog snuggled right up next to her.

Arthur called out, “We’re here! Over here. Come quick!”

The voices got closer, and soon a light bobbed above them.

“Arthur.”

“Fitz.” The relief in Arthur’s voice made Elizabeth smile. He loved his brother, and he relied on him.

A rope dropped down to them. Arthur helped her stand. “Let’s get you out of here first.”

She nodded and clung to him, the world spinning crazily about her. “I’m so dizzy.”

“We will get you taken care of.” He tied the rope about her waist. “Hang on to this.”

She gripped the rough fibers through her gloves.

“She’s ready.”

Soon she was lifted in the air, steadily, slowly and then into the arms of Fitz. “Are you well?”

“I think so?”

Other hands guided her to a cart and wrapped her in blankets. Someone handed her a warm bowl. “Drink this.”

The warm fluid went down in a beautiful thickness that sent warm tendrils throughout her body. She smiled. “Thank you.” The blanket, the warmth, the safe feeling brought such a drowsy feeling, she closed her eyes.

“Don’t let her fall asleep,” a familiar voice called out.

She whipped her eyes open.

And then a dog jumped up beside her. “Oh, hello. Didn’t I tell you Mr. Darcy would get you out?”

And then a maid climbed up beside her with a young child in her arms. “And this little fellow was down there too.”

“What!” She couldn’t believe it.

“The dog showed Mr. Darcy.”

“Is he… Will he be all right?”

“He’s breathing. He is warming up. The doctor is at the house waiting.”

She nodded. What a strange thing to happen. What a beautiful, magnificent, horrible, wonderful thing to happen to a person. She smiled to herself and drank more of the soup. She didn’t have any energy to think about what it all meant. She focused on staying awake and watching the child for any signs of life. Thanks to Arthur, everyone was going to be well. They had to be.