54. Hazel

HAZEL

Days of tension, anxiety and fear melted out of Ben's body in an instant.

"Hazel." My name was a prayer on his lips. He fell into me and I caught him, arms cradling his head against me as a broken sob wracked his entire body.

"I love you." He said it once, twice. Pressed his face against my chest and said it again. "I had to be strong for them. I think I was, you know? I think I did ok? But the truth is, I've never been so scared in my fucking life," he confessed.

I caressed the side of his face and his tired head fell back into my hands. I kissed him all over, the bruise-like shadows under his eyes, in his now too-long hair, his rough prickly cheek.

"Ben." He looked at me like he still couldn't believe he was hearing his name. "You did so well."

The last few days had been fuzzy for me. Shunted to a very small, lonely corner of myself. Phantom scents and elusive sensations found their way to me through the fog. Voices that tugged at my soul growing clearer.

My pack.

Leading me back home guided by the alpha in my arms.

"Do you want to know how I feel about you?" I couldn't seem to hold him close enough. Not even when we were entwined, his heart next to mine, and running my cheek aggressively trying to get my scent deep into his pores. It just never seemed like enough.

His affectionate laugh at my antics was precious. After everything we'd been through it was all I wanted to hear. His eyes were lustrous as they met mine. "Please."

"Maybe it's better if I show you," I said mysteriously.

Then I sank my teeth into his neck.

"Oh god. Hazel. This is…fuck." His whole body spasmed under my grip. I wasn't gentle, claiming him the way he deserved to be claimed. Whole-heartedly with my entire chest, his blood metallic on my tongue.

"You're mine." I lapped at the droplets seeping from the fresh wound. "I-I love you too."

Saying it out loud was so…freeing. Running, quashing, fighting it for so long felt so pointless. Why did I deny myself this?

"Hey."

I don't know why it was so hard to look at him.

"I have no regrets. None. Not about the way we met, the time it took to get to know you, how you needed to keep us at arms length for a while." Ben's lips slanted gently over mine, his touch tracing my spine.

Even with the weak bond between us, he could sense all my entangled, complex emotions. Completing his side would make it permanent. I wanted it. Wanted the tiny shadow of him inside me to unfurl into the beautiful, complex phenomenon I knew it would be.

And I needed my scent so deeply embedded with his so everyone knew he was mine.

My hands slipped beneath his shirt, my touch going from exploratory to hungry. I let my emotions rise to the forefront so he would sense it. My growing fixation on all the places our bodies were touching. Fingers tracing his tense muscles. My breasts against his rising chest. My core on top of his hardening length.

"Claim me, alpha. I'm yours."

I thought hard about his teeth in my neck and my arousal bloomed lush between us.

I could feel his control slipping.

Yes.

"I had plans," he muttered. "Courtship presents, new additions to your nest and definitely some sort of grand gesture beforehand."

I was listening to what he was saying. But I was also removing our clothes and searching for his skin on mine.

"Courtship presents…those donuts during my period were pretty nice," I mused.

"Hazel, no. I meant—"

"New additions to my nest?" I plowed on, getting up momentarily so I could take our pants off. "Didn't you buy me an entire nest, already?"

"Well, yeah but you could always do with more—"

I resettled myself on his lap, my slick pussy hugging the length of his shaft, enjoying the way his hips kicked involuntarily. "And I'm not sure if you can top a gesture as grand as spending days loving and caring for me until my omega felt safe again," I said, unable to hide the catch in my voice.

"You really want this, here and now?"

"I want you always."

I loved all sides of Ben. But the aggressive, starved-for-me alpha just lit up something so deliciously primal in me. He grasped my hips, fingertips digging in as he began to grind me back and forth over his stiff length. His crown slid perfectly against my clit, his precum mingling with my slick.

"Then soak me first," he demanded. "Come all over your alpha's cock, just like this."

My need tugged me in all different directions. I rode him desperately, eager to please him. But he was so hot and hard my pussy ached to be filled by him. My movements were wild and sometimes the head of his cock would notch against my entrance before sliding away again. I chased my pleasure and wanted him to snatch it from my grasp and own me entirely at the same time.

He kissed me as I came. Every sensation was so utterly wrapped up in how he tasted. Melting chocolate and vibrant peppermint licked clean off fingers and lingering on my tongue afterwards.

Ben laid me down in my makeshift nest. His mouth feathered along my jaw as the aftershocks continued. Down to my neck. My breath grew uneven and my pulse ricocheted against his.

Bite me, bite me, bite me.

"You're mine, Hazel."

I was hollow and eager in one breath and then filled completely by him in the next. His cock buried to the hilt in my pussy and his canines piercing my neck. I'd never felt more vulnerable, trapped, owned than in that moment. Completely at the mercy of his driving thrusts and held down by his teeth.

I couldn't hide how much I loved it. Not when the bond between us was being woven, golden threads dipping, twisting as new connections between us flared to life. I was his but he was just as much mine.

"I-I had no idea it would be so—"

I kissed the rest of his words away. Because I could feel it and already knew. My hands slid down the muscular curve of his back, along that sweet dip until it settled on his firm ass. I forced him deeper inside me and I could feel the press of his knot starting to work its way past my entrance.

"Knot me, Ben." I licked the shell of his ear, relishing the way he trembled. "I want you to know exactly how much I love your cum inside me."

"Fuck." His pace grew more uneven. His lips kissed messily over my face and chest and breasts, always compulsively returning to his bondmark. There was a hint of that rut frenzy in the bond, like an untamed windstorm whipping the edges of his need. His knot stretched me further and further each time as he fucked me with harder, deeper strokes. I cried out when I felt him finally lock into place, my body clamping around him like a vise. I could feel every throb of his cock filling me. It was overwhelming — the warmth of his release, his shuddering pleasure in the bond — and I gave myself over to it all.

I ran my nose along his neck as we caught our breath. I had to know, what was his scent now that we were bonded? What part of me was forever linked with him?

"Coconut," I laughed. Of course it was.

"Yeah?" Ben's shy smile was adorable. I loved how he unabashedly gave me every facet of himself.

"Like the—" I nuzzled and licked him a little, eliciting a low grunt. "Yummiest dessert ever. I want to lick it off you every day."

"I'm ok with that. In fact, I insist."

He was so giddy it was infectious. Was this how it was going to be now? God, and that was just one bond. Imagining three was—

There was a loud clatter.

Our heads shot upwards. I blinked at an upside-down (at least, he was from my angle) Remy. Everything he had been holding — fresh clothes, breakfast — was scattered on the floor. Aleks crashed into his back with a loud oof, only just managing to save our coffee from spilling everywhere.

Remy's voice was strained as he took in our naked bodies and bleeding necks. "Please tell me you're back and I don't have to strangle Ben."

I blew him a kiss and waved my fingers at him. Slightly awkwardly as I was still underneath Ben. "Hi Remy."

He let out a low cry and dove into the nest. "Baby." Being knotted didn't stop him from taking my face into his hands and kissing me fiercely. "I was fucking lost without you."

"Sorry I scared you." His grip was so tight, afraid to lose me again if he let go. I ran my palm up and down his forearm, each sweep trying to reassure him.

I am here. I am ok. I am yours.

Ben carefully moved me into a sitting position on his lap and I felt Aleks' body hugging my back.

He was trembling. "Oh, Aleks," I said softly.

"I've decided something, Hazel," he said, his voice muffled by my hair. "We are going to stop hiding how obsessed we are with you and you're just going to have to deal with it."

I had focused so long on the trappings of love. Deeply painful and frightening, as Kerry had put it. But she also called it a force and I understood that now more than ever.

The feeling of being loved by them held the same power that rose armies and led nations. Pulled the ocean in and lifted the moon to the sky.

Infinite. Untouchable. Ours.