40. Aleks

ALEKS

I made Hazel her coffee in the morning and found her glowering at her laptop. I glanced at her screen and saw her OmegaFans messaging interface. "Are people bothering you?" I frowned.

She shrugged. "It's nothing I can't handle for now. But part of me feels like I need to hustle and keep growing as a creator but on the other hand…I don't know if getting bigger is what I should be aiming for." Hazel must've caught my weird, slightly confused expression. "Don't mind me, just having an existential career crisis. Plus I've pretty much had to shut down the panty-selling side of my business 'cause, well, you know."

I did know. Hazel would have gotten a lot of refund requests on any panties she sold recently thanks to the three of us.

I crossed over to her side of the kitchen bench and pulled her into my arms.

Still coming to terms with the fact that I could just…do that.

"Maybe you can talk to Remy about it. You know none of us want you to feel like you have to do this because the money's good while hating every other part of it." I kissed the little spot near her collarbone that made her squeak and curl up.

Hazel squeaked and curled up. "I know. I just don't want to be told I'm going to hell today."

I was instantly on high alert. "Why haven't you blocked them? Or at least restricted?"

She looked slightly guilty. "He's been tipping me a lot."

"No amount of money is worth you feeling like shit, Hazel," I told her sternly.

She blew a lock of hair out of her face with a puff of air. "You're right. I always feel like I'm supposed to be accommodating. But that doesn't mean letting people treat me badly." Hazel pulled her phone out of her pocket and tapped away at it for a minute. "There. Restricted. If he somehow manages to kick up a fuss still, I'll block him."

Hazel seemed understandably different since she told us about Adrian. Her life, her entire facade had been resting on a single, eroding cornerstone for years. Without it, she was scrambling, picking up the pieces of herself. Examining, re-examining one by one. Trying to determine if it was still her.

Ben, Remy and I could've easily been part of those pieces she was ready to toss aside. Instead, she clung to us with a desperation that really wasn't necessary. None of us had slept in our own beds ever since she got her new nest. After the initial calm, her sex drive absolutely skyrocketed. Which did not sound like something I should've been complaining about but I was privately worried.

I didn't want her to feel like she had to do that to keep us.

She teared up after Ben left for work that morning and I knew I had to do something.

"Leave the DMs for another day. Can we spend the day together? Just us?" I asked cautiously.

"Of course. Remy's been putting off visiting his mum so he won't have any excuse if we run away together." Hazel's eyes sparkled with mischief, no doubt expecting something fun and was probably already planning to rope me into a semi-public quickie. "What did you have in mind?"

"I want to take a road trip to the beach."

Her face instantly fell.

Something told me she hadn't gone near any beaches since she was with Adrian. The way she froze told me I was right.

"Why the beach? It's almost winter, it'll be cold as fuck. Not to mention windy." She averted her gaze, forcing out a laugh. Trying not to show how affected she was.

"Not for swimming or sunbathing." The fragile tension between us balanced on a knife edge. "I think we should go and see the ocean."

Her eyes were luminous. "Aleks," she pleaded.

"We can go west."

Not north. Not towards August Bay.

I could feel her spiralling come to a slow stop.

"Ok," she finally whispered.

Ben let me borrow his car. I was glad he and Remy settled their alphas.

It felt right to have him as our prime.

I had all her snack favourites ready to go. Peppermint chocolate and the little creamy milk candies, obviously. Plus a giant bag of hot Cheetos that she ate with chopsticks for some reason. I didn't question it and just packed them along with everything else.

Hazel nervously chewed through about fifteen of her candies during the drive and I didn't stop her. I just laid my hand on her thigh to remind her that I was here.

I didn't have a destination in mind. I drove and let the city fade. The expensive houses hugging the coastline eventually dripped away. Forest rose majestically from flat land and the drop to the rough sand grew craggy and steep. We curved past coastal towns and ignored them all. We didn't need the cacophony of civilisation.

Just sea and sky and a single stripe of asphalt.

After about two and a half hours, I pulled into a nondescript car park. It was small, with only one other car space filled. No surf-lifesaving club, no toilet or shower facilities. Just a rickety looking wooden staircase leading down to a beach that was more rock than sand.

A weatherbeaten sign declared the beach Maren Cove. We pushed aside dense, overgrown scrub so it didn't scrape our heads halfway down.

Hazel stood on the last step, staring down at the greyish sand.

I held my hand out for her to take whenever she was ready.

"Come on."

After a brief, fractured moment, her foot hit the sand.

We traversed the uneven, rocky terrain. The wind chill was intense and her fingers were icy in mine.

It felt right to stop at a small outcrop, watching the dark water crash white and frothy against the nearby cliffside.

It was rhythmic. Hypnotic. In and out.

A soft inhale and a loud exhale.

"I haven't been back to the beach since Adrian."

There was such a deep well of sadness in her.

"I know."

"I thought it would be hard and it is."

I let the sea breeze fill the space between us and waited.

"But it's also beautiful here."

I enfolded her in my arms, resting my forehead against hers. Our red, wind-blown noses almost touched.

"It's ok for it to be both."

Her scent couldn't really compete with the harsh bluster or saltwater spray. But I managed to catch a tiny, wispy sense of it.

Coconut palms and lime zest. The beach that it reminded me of was nothing like the one we were on. But the sea was the same beating heart, there for us no matter whether the sun shone or not.

Hazel let me kiss her.

And she let the ocean heal her.

"Do you want to drive back now?"

We were back in the car, blasting the heater and trying to defrost.

Hazel looked thoughtful. "When do you start work tomorrow?"

"Not until 1."

This seemed to please her. "Let's find somewhere to stay. We can wake up early and drive home before your shift."

Well, how was I supposed to say no to that?

It was the off season and we were nowhere near any major tourist destinations. I managed to find a vacant short-term homestay twenty minutes away and booked it through an app.

We stopped at one of the larger regional town centres on the way and her face lit up when she spotted a shiny white department store.

We had made plans to grab essentials for an overnight stay. Given that she was radiating excitement I knew it was all about to fall apart.

I think she wanted to have — I grimaced slightly — fun.

"Stop!"

We were going to go shopping.

I didn't like this.

Hazel bounced, actually bounced inside. Everything was garish, the signage screamed at me and the rows of merchandise never-ending. I spotted the section she was leading to me to and I subconsciously dug my heels in.

"No, Hazel. Don't do this to me."

She was still able to tug me along. When did she get this strong?

"We can't sleep in these clothes," she said like I was being ridiculous.

"We don't have to sleep in anything, let's just be naked," I countered desperately.

Hazel paused on the spot, like she didn't consider this. It gave me hope.

But then she continued on, no less determined. "No. We can still end up naked but this is happening."

She was going to dress me.

I couldn't stop her.

Hazel gasped. I looked at what she was staring at and my stomach plummeted.

"No."

"Yes."

Jesus Christ, we were going to be matching.

"What size are you?"

"I'm no size."

Hazel held up a shirt with a cartoon burger and french fries on it. "I only have fries for you!" declared the excited looking fries from a big speech bubble.

She lined the shoulders of the shirt up with my shoulders as if the monstrosity was going to go on my body.

"And look, here's mine!"

I glanced at the shirt she was holding up to her own chest.

"Oh! You're such a spud!" said the burger, batting flirtatious lashes at the fries.

I was in hell.

I purchased both for us because I was a dumbass.

And because she made that stupid pouty lip face. I hadn't seen her be this playful in a while. How was I supposed to resist? Hopefully Remy wouldn't find out because I'd probably owe him money.

We also managed to pick up some actual essentials like toothbrushes, toothpaste and whatever other mysterious creams and concoctions Hazel wanted. Lacy things that made me want to throw her over my shoulder and leave that instant. Plus a green blanket so thick I couldn't see Hazel's face over the top when she was hugging it.

After we checked ourselves in, I pushed her against the door and slid down her body.

"I'm glad you like those pyjamas," I said, kissing every inch of revealed skin as I unzipped her jeans. "But I'm going to work very hard tonight to make sure we never need to wear them."