31. Hazel

HAZEL

I wasn't sure how I suddenly went from having no men to having three. They had all crept up on me, weaselling themselves into my life.

It soothed my instincts to have Aleks with me. In my home, where I could properly look after him. Had anyone ever done that for him? I could see the way he felt each gesture was somehow a tally against him. My omega hummed with purpose, trying to make him see that he was worth the effort.

I gave her so little. The least I could do was give her this.

Remy and I began working together again, falling into a routine where he came over three times a week like clockwork. One day for planning, one day for filming and one day to review things and schedule the following week's uploads together.

As for what we were, neither of us were looking to name it. A mutual pact that the work was work and the kisses, touches, fucking that happened outside of that simply a byproduct of that. We did not enjoy being apart post-heat so it was better not to be.

I told him about Ben. It wasn't like I could hide how I smelled of another alpha every morning. Remy accepted this with a dragged out "okay" and his scent marking got even more intense.

I slept at Ben's every night. My nightmares got less lucid. More fragmented. Like watching a film through water instead of living every sound and sensation. Chocolate and peppermint wove through my memories, guiding me back to the present. His purr would lull me back to sleep every time.

His dick was usually what woke me up.

I'd done a post office drop that morning, following my usual routine of replying to DMs. I would get stumped on what to say often, but for different reasons. Sometimes it was clear how lonely they were and I was not callous enough to make them believe they had a chance with me simply because I wanted their money. Other times, they were like that persistent inbox tipper. He had now upgraded to telling me what a loose, used-up pussy I had. I really needed to get around to blocking him, or at the very least restricting him so he couldn't send me DMs anymore.

At least there was no new graffiti when I left the apartment. I think expecting there to be was making me paranoid, giving me a creeping sensation like I was being watched or followed.

There was no reason for it. Bond dissolution was actually becoming more accepted, especially when Page Slick broke the news that the famous omega actress Sage North was confirmed to be undergoing the process. The rumours that began when she was photographed at a NOC fundraiser months earlier now had a ring of truth.

Since their divorce, her movie star ex had lost out on a string of roles before being consistently papped in compromising positions with multiple women. Stories of his abusive tendencies could no longer be squashed by his PR team, popping up regularly like a nightmarish game of whack-a-mole. Headlines like Hollywood's golden couple headed for divorce: what went wrong and who's to blame? very quickly turned into Free Sage and The Rise and Fall of Sawyer Callahan.

Suddenly the buzzwords surrounding bond dissolution were world first and groundbreaking scientific advancements instead of harping on about alpha rights.

Still, one could never be too careful. At least that's what I told myself as I found myself in a domestic little bubble with no intention of ever leaving.

My evenings were practically a blueprint now. I loaded my fork up with more pasta. It was very good. Aleks would insist we had cooked it together but I was pretty sure I had been a glorified pan stirrer and a tasting spectator at best. Tonight we had decided against a true crime show and chose a true crime podcast instead. Totally different. We were also excellent multi-taskers – eating and listening while we worked on a puzzle.

"You never struck me as a puzzle person," Aleks said, staring intently at the laid out pieces in front of us.

"Why?" I replied brusquely. "'Cause I can't fuck it?"

"No! I…that's not…" Aleks floundered harder than a cat who had accidentally fallen into water. He clocked my badly suppressed smirk and put his head in his hands. "Hazel, stop doing that!"

Remy cackled before excitedly snatching up a piece. "Aleks, I think this is part of the tree you're working on," he said, passing it over to him.

Oh yeah…sometimes Remy hung around after we were done and would still be here when Aleks got off his shift. Today had been a planning day, mainly researching audio setup options and looking into equipment hire.

"The victim's body was mutilated beyond recognition and the oppressive desert heat sped up the decomposition process…"

Remy blanched. "How can you listen to this while you eat?" he asked.

I purposefully took a large bite of pesto while the podcast continued to drone on about fly pupae. Without missing a beat, Aleks followed suit. Remy stared at our identical incorrigible grins and made a perturbed face.

"God, I can't believe there are two of you."

Remy eventually left, trying his absolute best to scent mark me excessively without coming across like he was scent marking me excessively.

"Remy, you are fooling nobody," I griped, when his chaste goodbye cheek kiss suddenly turned into enthusiastic nuzzles. But I also tipped my head back and tugged his hair a little because, well, it felt very nice.

I smelled like I'd had a flagon of whisky poured on me by the time he was done.

"Say hi to Ben for me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go away." Then I kissed him like an idiot. He was still grinning like a fool when he disappeared out my door.

Aleks was watching us when I turned around. "Something to say?" I asked him, feeling tetchy.

"Nope. I have nothing to say about you and your colleague."

That wasn't true. When Aleks realised that Remy and I were not in fact courting or even together together, he seemed quite bewildered and told us to our faces that he thought we were both stupid.

I pointed a finger at him. "You watch yourself or you'll be back on the couch." Aleks held his hands up in mock surrender.

It was an empty threat and we both knew it.

I wished him goodnight and made my nightly trip across the road and into Ben's bed. His hand slid into my shorts, fingers lightly tracing along the ticklish crease of my inner thigh.

"Did Remy take care of this pussy today?" Ben asked, his tone completely mundane. It was unnerving how ok he seemed to be about everything. He would always ask about the others with genuine interest in these languorous moments before sleep.

"No. But if you're concerned about that I can find a Chad or Thad from the gym to do it," I lied blithely.

Ben had me on my back with a deft twist, palms sliding into mine as he pressed me down into the bed. The peppermint in his scent sharpened and I could feel the arctic chill seize my throat. "Let me be clear, Hazel," he breathed, scenting one side of my neck and the other. I'd never been more aware of his new designation as he loomed over me. "Remy and Aleks are…different from every other fucker out there. Do not mistake me asking about them as a sign that I am not possessive of what we have. Quite the opposite, actually."

I swallowed loudly. Letting me see him this way was far too illuminating. A glimmer of what it would be like if I belonged to him. My heart drummed against my ribcage, spurred by a cosmic kind of feeling that seemed too vast to name.

"Let's just go to sleep, Ben," I whispered.

If he was disappointed at my withdrawal he didn't show it. He slid off me carefully, fitted me against his body like he did every night and stroked the bare slivers of skin between my clothes.

Would it really be so bad if he met the others?

All four of us together?

His fingers continued to gently sweep. Back and forth. Back and forth.

It was so easy to sink into oblivion.

I dreamt of dark chocolate eaten by a roaring fire, staring out at a pristine lake. Huddled in the embrace of three warm bodies.