Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

brIGGS

Three Months Ago

“And that’s how you can tell if wild berries are poisonous,” Nyx said, smiling at the children sitting at her feet.

Briggs leaned his shoulder against the nearest tree in the Lochslee garden and soaked up the sunlight, praying it got rid of the chills from his latest nightmare. A shudder worked through his body and his palms began to sweat. What had started as a small nap had turned into a full-blown terror.

His nightmares had been worse since the battles between the Dark Court and Heimserya. The faces of the past that always seemed to haunt him had changed to those he loved now, but today was one of the worst. He’d watched as the Mistress had tortured Nyx repeatedly while he hung useless in chains, unable to help her as she begged for him to save her.

Briggs closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing as his pulse hitched. When he’d awoken, he’d trashed half of his room. His bedding and mattress were destroyed. He could have hurt someone—the children or Nyx… it was unthinkable.

“Briggs?”

He forced his eyes open and stared at the aspen in front of him. Particularly how he’d sunk his claws into the trunk of the tree. When had he moved? Panic clawed up his throat. He didn’t want to start losing time again like in the past.

A soft hand rested on his forearm, and he stared down into Nyx’s worried face. Her gaze scanned his expression, missing nothing.

“Let’s go get some tea,” she said softly.

Briggs pulled his claws from the bark, and she slipped her hand inside his. There were no questions. Nyx knew him inside and out. She understood he wasn’t okay. He let her lead him from the center of the lush gardens, past a small babbling brook full of colorful fish, over the wide cobblestone walkway and into the large, airy infirmary.

Nyx led him to one of the cots and had him sit. He watched her bustle around the sunny room, the familiar scent of herbs swirling through the air, and tried not to drown in his shame. Briggs glanced toward the gardens, the melodious tinkle of children’s laughter reaching his ears.

“Did the wee ones see me?” he asked, a lump in his throat.

“No, they did not.” Nyx glided back to his side and handed him a warm cup of tea. He took it and she sat down next to him, taking his left hand in her own once again. “Our lesson was finished up and the cook had pastries waiting for them. They never even looked in your direction.”

“How long was I… out of it?”

“About ten minutes.”

Briggs hung his head, his dark braids sliding over his shoulder to create a veil of sorts between himself and Nyx. What if she hadn’t been there? What if he’d lost control?

She squeezed his hand. “Stop it. I know you’re beating yourself up. But you didn’t hurt anyone. You never have.”

“Except for you.” He looked at her and she shrugged.

“We both didn’t know any better. Now we do. I’m not upset about it. You should let it go.”

Nyx was too good to him. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness or even her comfort. His attention was drawn to the way their fingers were laced together, his dark like midnight, hers warm like honey. Briggs knew he should pull away, but he couldn’t find it within himself to break the contact. She was his anchor. And he loved her, but this was all he could ever take or give to her which made him a selfish man. She was stuck with him, never moving forward because she had hope for a future he knew would never come.

You’re pathetic. Mistress was right. You destroy everything good around you.

“Briggs?” she murmured, and he blinked at her. “Did you hear what I said?”

“No.”

She pursed her lips in that way that made him crazy with want. All he desired was to bite and kiss her bottom lip until it stopped pouting.

“I said that I have a present for you.”

He arched a thick brow. “Really?”

Nyx gave him a nervous smile and stood, releasing his hand. He flexed his fingers, already feeling the loss of her touch as she strode over to a small wooden trunk and opened it. She pulled out something and clutched it to her chest and she swung around to face him. Nyx walked until she stood before him and rocked back on her heels, not meeting his gaze.

What was this? His little kitsune was never nervous around him. “It can’t be that bad.”

She winced and shoved her hand out, uncurling her fingers. In her palm rested a vial of glowing blue liquid.

Briggs jerked back, a memory of his Mistress holding a vial similar in color and having her guards hold him down so she could pour it down his throat. He bared his teeth and growled, swiping at her.

“It’s me. It’s just me!”

Nyx’s voice pulled him from the memory, and he glared at her. Before she could move, he jumped down from the cot and yanked her to his chest, plucking the vial from her hand.

“How could you?” he growled, holding the drugs up to her wide eyes, his hand shaking.

“I didn’t.”

He laughed, pushing her away. She stumbled but caught herself. “I’m not stupid. There’s only one kind of plant that can turn a draught this color. Mimikia.” Briggs threw the vial onto the stone floor. It shattered, the liquid spattering over his boots and the bottom of Nyx’s skirts.

He panted, his whole body shaking with rage as he tried to control his temper. She’d betrayed him. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Nyx gazed at the floor, her cheeks flushed. Her fingers curled into fists as she lifted her head to meet his glare head on. “How could you?”

“How could I?” he hissed, hurt and anger turning his question into a roar. “You’re the one who stepped over the line. You know my feelings on Mimikia.”

She blinked slowly at him. “You really think I would brew something for you with a drug you detest? That you have forbidden me to meddle with when it comes to your tinctures? I would never do that. I can’t believe you would think that I would.”

He scoffed. The proof was splattered all over the floor. “We both know you’re good at keeping secrets if it benefits you.” His gaze dropped to the mark on her shoulder. She gasped, tears filling her eyes. Nyx still hadn’t told him who’d marked her. And every time he saw it, Briggs wanted to tear something apart.

Or leave one of your own.

“You’re unbelievable.” She took a step closer, gesturing to her neck. “And I’m done protecting you. You want to know whose mark it is? Yours.”

“Not possible.” Briggs flinched when she smiled sharply at him.

“It was the first time I brewed something to help with the night terrors. You were stuck in them. So, I drew closer to soothe you and you bit me.” One sob escaped her. “But I knew you wouldn’t remember it when you woke up and that you didn’t want this life for yourself until we got your terrors taken care of, so I hid it to protect you.”

A deranged laugh escaped him. Briggs couldn’t stop it. He knew it was the wrong thing to do when Nyx’s face crumpled. But his body wasn’t under his control. For the last two years he’d been insanely jealous of himself.

Nyx closed the space between them and slapped him. Hard.

The sound seemed to ring in his ears. He rubbed his cheek before he met her fiery gaze. “I deserved that.”

Her bottom lip wobbled but she bit it. “You have broken my heart for the last time. You want to languish in the hell you created in your mind.”

His stomach bottomed out. “That’s not fair.”

“None of this is fair!” she shouted, brushing away her tears. “I have waited for you for years. I’ve spent hours upon hours researching a cure for what you suffered so that you could live a happy life— even if it wasn’t with me.”

“I never asked you to do that.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t ask you to wait for me. I always knew my life would be lonely.”

“I know.” She placed a hand over her heart and took a step back from him. “But it doesn’t have to be. You’re choosing this.” Nyx pointed to the floor. “I perfected your serum. That was your best bet for a peaceful future without fear. And you threw it away.”

“I told you no drugs.”

Nyx swallowed hard and kept backing away from him. Panic seized his chest as she put more space between them. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. Everything in his head was so muddled.

“The fact that you still think I would try to get you to take Mimikia breaks my heart.” She held her hands out. “Clean up before you leave. And do me a favor, make sure you scent my serum.”

She disappeared from his sight, and he started to tremble. Briggs paced the infirmary with his hands on his head as he tried to calm down. The glass crunched beneath his boots, and he winced. He needed to clean that up. Retrieving a broom and dustpan, he stooped low to clean the mess up and inhaled.

His brows furrowed.

He inhaled deeper.

Not one sweet tone.

There wasn’t one drop of Mimikia.