Chapter Eighteen

Cardian

I held a fresh flour sack open for Dakota as he scooped the fallen flour into it. We worked in silence as bird prints appeared here and there. Apparently, the dead crows really liked my brother-in-law's flour.

"Are you going to relax a bit now?" Dakota asked, looking up at me from his knees.

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore that he was at eye level with my crotch. The shed had been violated enough without us messing around inside it.

"It's my job to be on guard," I said, staring at the white wall in the distance.

"Maybe, but ---" Dakota said and then shook his head and went back to scooping up flour.

"Maybe what?" I asked a second later when he still hadn't finished his sentence.

"It doesn't matter. It's okay," he said, but his tone didn't sound okay.

"Did I do something to you that I'm unaware of?" I arched a brow.

"No," he shook his head.

"Then what's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing. You're just doing your job."

"You make that sound like a bad thing, mate."

"The birds are dead," Dakota said.

"I'm sorry they're dead," I said. "I know it's not a happy thing to find a dead raccoon and a murder of dead crows in the backyard."

"They're dead. I think you can stop chasing after them, now," he said, dumping more flour into the sack.

"Is that what you think I'm doing when I do sweeps?" I tightened my grip on the sack.

"Isn't it? You hear them and run outside."

"Crows usually gather at dead things," I said.

"Sometimes, but I've also seen them gather en masse to eat spilled French fries outside of a Mama Dragon's restaurant too."

"Are you calling me paranoid?"

"No, not exactly," Dakota shook his head.

"Then what?" I asked, keeping the growl out of my voice.

"It would just be nice if you didn't run off to chase birds every time we got a minute alone," he said.

"I don't," I shook my head. "We've done --- we've spent---"

"Yep," he nodded. "Exactly."

"Look, it's not that I don't want to spend every minute with you, because I do," I said, "but someone has to keep everyone else safe."

"From de—"

"Don't say from dead birds!" I snapped.

Dakota flinched and my heart fell into my stomach.

"Let's just finish this up and you can do another sweep," Dakota said.

"What am I supposed to do? Ignore my job? My vows?" I asked him.

"No, keep us safe from the dead birds," he shook his head.

"I'm not some hyped up chihuahua barking at the wind," I said. "This time they were dead animals, but next time they could be someone more serious."

"They could. It could also be a deer eating grass or a dog on a walk," Dakota said.

I swallowed down a growl. Why didn't he get that I had to keep him safe!? Everything inside me tightened up and the thirst burnt down my throat.

"You make it sound like you don't think safety is important," I said, forcing my words to come out smooth.

"It is, but there has to be a limit to it, Alpha. There has to be a time when you can shrug and say invisible birds are invisible and leave them alone. What are you so afraid of?"

"Of someone killing you like they killed Laurni!" I snapped and dropped the bag.

Dakota flinched again. I was an asshole. All my training to keep my cool and I couldn't even talk about Laurni without snapping.

"Your chosen mate?" Dakota asked, dropping the plastic cup he used to scoop flour and pushing himself upright to his bare feet. His scent tinged with anger.

"I'm so---" I started, but he spoke first.

"I don't know what happened to him, but I'm sorry it happened," he said.

"Why are you so mad?" I asked him a second later.

It was easier to focus on Dakota's scent than to talk about Laurni.

"Because you're hurting, Cardian. You can put on this angry look, but you're not mad. I've smelled angry men before. You're not mad. You're aching."

I stepped back as he stepped forward. He reached out and took both of my hands in his as my feet slid onto the grass outside the shed.

"It's okay to miss him," Dakota said. "It's okay to want to keep people safe too. It's a pack instinct. I moved here because Scott is my friend and I want him to be safe from all the things that can go wrong in a pregnancy of multiples. I want him to be safe from the stress of Trista and Travis. I want you to be safe and everyone else too. Maybe I chose the wrong thing to pick at. The invisible birds were creepy. I get that. I'm frustrated in so many ways. I get it if you need time before our claiming vows. You can say that. You don't have to run off every time we're close to them."

"I've been annoyed at the damn birds always interrupting us," I admitted. "I kept trying to find whatever dead thing they were eating. Crows will often lead you to the other army on a battlefield and I ---"

"We're not on a battlefield, mate," Dakota said, squeezing my hands.

"Not yet," I said. "Anywhere can become one."

"Okay, you need therapy. I know, I know. I sound all tree hugger, flower child, but I'm okay with that. I wish I was the guy who could help you work that out, but I can't. I don't know what to say because you're technically right, but what are the odds of our backyard becoming one?"

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"I'm going to have to unlearn some of what I learned by becoming a guardian," I admitted.

"Maybe," Dakota nodded. "I'm sure your coven functions the way it does for a reason. You guys have had some losses away from home, but you kept your home base safe while the world burnt down more than once. That's some generational stress at the very least, even if you don't want to call it generational trauma. I'm glad you want to keep me safe. I'm happy you want to keep your brother and Scott and the babies safe. I think right now you're having trouble discerning what's a threat and what's not. I'm not used to hearing spirits either and besides that the true-mate response magic makes people crazy. That's what it does. It's a double-edged sword that way. It let's us know that we chose each other a long time ago, but it also insists that we keep past promises and get back together. I'm sorry I poked so hard about the dead birds."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," I said. "Twice. I'm sorry that I snapped at you twice."

"Sad and worried does that," Dakota flashed me a sad smile.

"Thank you for not saying afraid," I chuckled.

"I don't think you're afraid, Alpha. I think if you found something because of the dead birds you'd have killed the threat without thinking twice. You're not hiding, afraid of threats. You're worried they're out there. There is a difference."

"There is," I nodded and pulled him into my arms. "I'm sorry I've been so preoccupied with all that."

"It's okay. I get it. It's hard to relax when you've lost someone to violence. It's hard to believe that it won't happen over and over again. I can promise I won't go to war unless it shows up on our doorstep. The closest I've been to a battle would've been the night we all tossed our magic at the Mundanes Before Magic fuckers. Even then I was on Hemlock Academy Campus, safe on a roof throwing spells into the void."

"We helped in that one too. We weren't exactly invited, but Mom heard about it and anyone who could toss spells helped out."

Dakota grinned and something inside me softened. It was damn near impossible to believe the world was an evil place when my mate smiled at me like that.

"Let's finish saving the flour and get cleaned up," he said and rose up on his tiptoes to steal a kiss.

***

That night we didn't exchange our claiming vows either. We were both too worked up in all the wrong ways. After Dakota fell asleep, I grabbed my phone and headed outside to inform my mother that she needed to send in a sub for a few days if she wanted someone on watch at all times. My own instincts were at odds because of my response to Dakota. Terrick wouldn't be thrilled at another guard arriving, but he'd have to suck it up for a few days.

Mom listened as I rambled on for a full five minutes explaining the ins and outs of what had happened since I arrived in Heartville. I skipped anything personal between Dakota and I, but gave her enough details to make it clear that she had to send a sub if she wanted a guard on duty.

"Do you think you need another guard?" Mom asked when I finished speaking.

"Literally? Probably not," I shook my head, "but having one was your idea."

"Let me talk to Terrick and I'll see what we need to do. If nothing's happened yet, it's unlikely anything will, I believe."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He was out there all alone. Yeah, yeah. He's with Scott's pack, but he was alone. It's not like we've run the coven this along without making enemies, Card. Really, we had them. Hell, maybe we still have them. Mostly non-magical non-shifters, but you never know where they hide out and survive. They always come back, like a plague of bad pennies."

"We're not alone," I said. "Today, a dragon-wolf guarded a flour shed with a dead racoon inside. He didn't even say we were fucking crazy and sometimes I think we are."

"Perhaps," she said, laughter tracing her words. "Surviving in a hostile world can have that effect on people. I'll speak with your brother soon. If he wants another guard, I'll send one. If you really think you need a sub, I'll send one. Either way, take some time to spend with Dakota. You're never going to have these early days back again. They are precious."

I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. Not that many months ago her true-mate had finally moved on through the door of life and death after dying eleven years prior. I felt as lost as Dakota must have in the shed. What do you say to someone who lost someone that their world revolved around? There was nothing I could say.

"Thank you, Mom," I finally said. "You all are going to love him. Scott too, but mostly Dakota because he's awesome."

She laughed and we said our goodbyes before hanging up.