39. Zola

Chapter 39

Zola

I was still shaking and in shock, but his scent was instantly familiar. I stared up at my lover’s concerned face as if I were seeing a ghost. Relief started seeping into my terrified body.

At first it was a slow trickle as it began to dawn on me that I was safe. And then it overwhelmed me when I realized he and only he represented safety to me. I wasn’t alone. My pride, inhibitions, and reservations disappeared. I flung my arms around his neck and sobbed with sheer gratitude.

I still didn’t know what had happened, but in all of that uncertainty, he was the one solid thing I could hold on to. I held on tightly and didn’t let him go and what was even better was he didn’t try to push me away. He let me cling to him until it occurred to me that we were still quite possibly in danger. I pulled myself together and tried to move away, but the pain in my neck returned and caused me to wince. He was instantly alarmed.

“Are you hurt?” he asked, his hand gently cupping my face. It was so warm and strong that I felt disappointed and unhappy when he pulled away.

“I’m fine. I think it’s just a muscle thing.”

He frowned. “Can you walk? Do you want me to carry you?”

“No. I can walk.”

I tried to stretch my neck hoping the sprain or muscle pull could be resolved if I stretched, but it was not to be the case so I had no choice but to ignore the pain and keep moving.

“You’re limping,” he muttered and I was forced to notice this as well. I had been wearing a pair of low sensible kitten heels, one of which I had lost and had only now noticed. The cause of my limping however was a bruise to the side of my knee, yet another injury that hadn’t registered during the rush of fear and adrenaline.

There was so much to inquire about and get answers to, but all I wanted was to get into his car and be gone … back to the anonymous room in London. His driver pulled the passenger door open for me but then stepped aside and Dante helped me himself.

Once I was gently tucked in, he went around to the other side and slipped in beside me. The doors were locked and we were pulling back onto the highway.

I leaned against the window away from him and thought of my father. All of this was starting to feel normal to me. Not the attack, but the fear and close calls and expectations of harm.

“Ugo tried to assassinate me?”

“Yes,” Dante replied, in his unhurried assuring low tone of voice. I could listen to him forever.

I turned to look into his beautiful eyes. It felt strange. I was so in love with him and he had no idea. “How did you find me?”

“At no time were you out of the sight of my men.”

My eyes widened. “You’ve known where I was? All this time?”

“Yes,” he said simply.

I looked down at his hands. They were big and capable and I was filled with immense gratitude and then … wrecked by terrible regret for the way I had treated him. Yes, I was grieving for my father, but did I have to be such a bitch to him? I kept lashing out and he kept on being the good guy. Always protecting me, always never giving up on me.

I swallowed hard and decided that I would never again be rude or horrible to him, but I would never let him know that I had fallen for him because that would put him in an awkward situation. He was only keeping his promise to my father. I cringed to remember how hard I had to persuade him even to have sex with me.

“Thank you, Dante. And I’m truly sorry I’ve been so difficult and rude to you. I owe you everything.”

His eyes narrowed. “Don’t apologize. You had just lost your father. It was to be expected. He was a great man. A big loss. I would have been the same if I was in your shoes. You owe me nothing. Whose idea was it to take this trip?”

“Uh … Sarah.”

“Hmmm…”

I stared at him. I had become quite close to Sarah. I thought of her as my protector. “Why do you ask? Do you think she was a dirty cop working for Ugo?”

“Maybe,” he replied. “In any case, my men were expecting an ambush of some sort, so they were ready and well prepared.”

“Sarah and Matthew … are they alright?”

He looked grim, but he didn’t mince his words. “I believe they didn’t make it.”

I gasped with shock. I felt sick to my stomach. Both of them had been gunned down. I remembered them eating their ham sandwiches. So full of life. So young. So sure tomorrow would come. They were dead because of me. Guilt flowed into me.

Dante had warned me about the program from the beginning and expressed his displeasure at my intention to join it, but like a headstrong fool, I hadn’t listened. I would have died today if he hadn’t remained adamant about remaining by my side to protect me. All my life I had denied people’s help, but that was over now. I clasped my hands together tightly and said a silent prayer for their souls.

“It’s not your fault,” he said softly. “They chose that line of work. They knew the danger.”

“If I had listened to you, they would never have died.”

“Don’t do that,” he said. “If they hadn’t died protecting you it might have happened when they were protecting someone else."

‘“I should have listened to you,” I whispered.

“That’s life. You can’t go back. Only forward. How’s your neck?”

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” I mumbled and smiled at him even though the pain was getting worse and worse. I didn’t want to trouble him any more than I had to. Already, he had taken on such a big burden to protect me.

He was silent for a little while and then he said, “It’s going to get worse.”

“Where are we going … is it far?”

“Somewhat, but we’ll stop soon. You must be hungry.”

I listened to his words and found them strange. Eat? Food? I had no appetite for food at all. “No, I’m not hungry.”

In a few minutes, we were pulling into a gas station.

“Sure you don’t want anything?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Be back soon,” he said and got out of the car.

We were in an unfamiliar town, which made me want to remain in the car, but at the same time, I couldn’t stand to be away from him. I watched him walk to the store and waited, hoping to calm my nerves, but no chance. A few seconds later I opened the door and scuttled out. I was so terrified about being out in the open and exposed to a bullet that I half-ran, half-limped to the door.

The bells chimed in response to my arrival and Dante whirled around. His eyes slightly widened and he waited for me to come over to him at the in-house food window. My looping, panicked dash to the door must have straightened out my neck because it didn’t hurt as much.

“Changed your mind?” he asked.

I didn’t, but I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t bear to be in the car without him. My gaze ran through the sweets and snacks, but I didn’t care for any of it so I kept looking around.

“I got you a bag of cashew nuts and a cheese sandwich. Is that okay?”

“Just great,” I said gratefully. “I do like cashews.”

“Yeah, they were what you reached for most frequently in London.”

“Really?” I was impressed he had taken such close notice of me and what I liked.

“Really,” he teased and went to pay for the stuff.