5. Judd

Judd

I drop Stevie off at daycare, plastering on my best version of a reassuring smile. She’s calmer this morning—thank fuck. The last two days have been a whirlwind of tantrums, an oncoming cold, and restless nights after Nakul left. There’s also a lovely molar coming in that decided to make an appearance right after I thought I’d be able to handle these next few weeks.

With the child support payments reported to my case worker, I can finally breathe with the extra bit of money. However, if I don’t get a good night's sleep soon, the money won’t really be good for much.

Especially when my next stop is Riocen Chemicals. Since Mom owns the company, working remotely has become my blessing. Not having to find or pay for regular childcare is a freedom I’ll never take for granted. Unfortunately, there are days like this one where paperwork is best dealt with in person. My mother also likes seeing my face and these last weeks before Christmas, I’ll be working closely with my sisters as well.

So here I am, trekking the half-hour to the office, hoping and praying I don’t get a call from daycare that Stevie needs me.

Stevie’s cries from the weekend still echo in my head. I can’t shake the image of her tear-streaked face, the way her tiny hands reached out as I tried to comfort her. The daycare drop-off felt like a small mercy—she seemed okay this morning. Better than me, at least.

I park and step into the building, the familiar hum of fluorescent lights and the faint chemical smell grounding me. It’s a relief to focus on something straightforward. Work is predictable—my life? Not so much.

But the moment I sit down at my desk, my mother sweeps into the room like a force of nature. She’s always been bigger than life, the smartest person in the room, and the most gracious. Without her and Dad, I’m sure my siblings and I would have ended up very differently.

She grins down at my weary form, holding a steaming cup of coffee. The aroma of dark roast and coconut hits my nose. “Time for a mini-meeting,” she declares, not giving me a chance to protest.

“Mom, I just got here,” I groan, running a hand through my tight curls. It needs a trim or a shape-up, something. All I know is that it’s starting to look as rough as I feel.

She doesn’t flinch. “Exactly why you need this. Now, up.”

Mini-meeting has always been code for intervention. Sometimes it means a full discussion with the board regarding the direction Riocen Chemicals is headed. Other times, it’s so that we can discuss private family matters in the privacy of Mom’s office. A few weeks ago, it had to do with Thanksgiving dinner and what I wanted everyone to get Stevie for her birthday.

I’m 99% sure what this conversation is going to be about which is why I’m not looking forward to it.

Still, I gather up the strength to follow her to her office, groaning as I’m stuffed into a chair between my sisters and handed a mug of my own. My mother stands in front of us, her arms folded across her chest as she glances between the three of us. “Drink it, Judd. Lord knows you need it.”

I take a cautious sip, only to flinch as the hot liquid sloshes over the rim and onto my lap. “Damn it,” I hiss, my older sister—Jess, god forbid anyone other than Mom call her Jessica—handing me a tissue to wipe up the stain. This just isn’t my day. Or week.

Mom watches me, her eyes softening as I fumble. “What’s wrong, Judd?”

I pause. “Nothing,” I lie, setting the mug on the coffee table in front of me.

Her raised eyebrow tells me she doesn’t buy it for a second. Before I can deflect further, my younger sister—Athena—on the other side leans over to me, gently placing a hand on my arm. My heart sinks into my stomach as I settle back in the chair. “Is this an intervention?”

“Something like that,” she replies smoothly. “You’ve been running yourself ragged and we’re worried about you.”

Jess crosses her arms, her sharp eyes scanning me. “Mom’s right.”

Athena rolls her eyes at Jess’ bluntness before throwing an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into a side hug. “We’re here to help,” she says softly. It’s only been a week or so since we spent Thanksgiving together but even then, I didn’t let them see behind the veil.

I couldn’t.

These past few years, everyone was so proud of how far I came and how wonderful I was with my daughter. This year feels like I haven’t grown at all and I’m barely staying afloat. I didn’t want my family—full of successes—to see that. And yet, in this moment, it feels like none of that matters.

I’ve been pushing away the few people who would stand beside me regardless of what I was dealing with—what I am dealing with.

Something inside me cracks as I sag against Athena’s embrace, the weight of my exhaustion and stress making it impossible to hold myself together. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.

Jess rubs my back, reminding me of the days when it was us three siblings against the world. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“That’s right,” Athena chimes in. “Trying to handle everything on your own? It sucks. I know from experience.”

I glance at her, surprised by the admission. Athena’s always been the epitome of competence, juggling ten things at once without breaking a sweat. Hearing her say she struggles too makes me feel a little less like a failure. Three years ago, she nearly turned away her happily ever after because of what everyone would think and now she’s happily married to her childhood sweetheart.

All because she let herself feel, let herself lean, and allowed others in.

Something I desperately need to start doing.

Jess pulls back, her hands resting on my shoulders. “We’re here, Judd. Babysitting, errands, whatever you need. You just have to ask.”

I shake my head, guilt washing over me. “I don’t want to burden you guys. You have your own lives.”

Jess gives me a look that could melt steel. “You’re not a burden. You’re my little brother.”

Mom steps forward, sitting on the coffee table in front of me. She takes my hands in hers, gently rubbing her thumbs across the back of my hands. “Judd, you’re doing an incredible job. You are a wonderful father and Stevie is a beautiful, flourishing little girl because of all the effort you’ve put in. But you can’t keep pouring from an empty cup.”

The lump in my throat grows as I struggle to hold myself together. “I just… I feel like I’m failing. Why would Ava dump our kid on me when now, all of a sudden, she wants a family?”

The words spill out before I can stop them and the room goes silent. I don’t know for sure that’s what she wants but it makes sense after Nakul told me that he couldn’t have kids. Ava always wanted a family—she talked about it enough but the moment it happened, she dipped.

Athena and Jess exchange a sharp glance, their jaws tightening as they process what I’ve said. “She what ?” Jess asks, her voice laced with anger.

Athena echoes the same words. “She wants a family now?”

“I didn’t mean to dump that on you,” I say quickly, waving a hand. “It’s fine. I’m handling it.”

“No, it’s not fine,” Jess snaps, her eyes blazing. “She doesn’t get to walk out on her kid and then decide she wants to play house.”

“Jess,” Mom says warningly, cutting through the rising tension. Jess clamps her mouth shut but continues to glare at nothing in particular. Mom returns her attention to me. “Judd, you need to take care of yourself. Go rest for an hour and then you can finish your work. If I had known it was this bad, I would have asked Kelly to do it so you could take some time off.”

I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up a hand.

“I own this company, remember?” she says with a faint smile. “And I can do whatever I want. Right now, I’m telling you to take a break.”

I don’t have the energy to argue. The warmth of their support feels like a safety net I didn’t realize I needed. “I’m sorry. I was really trying but I just—”

My mother chuckles, shaking her head as she stands and hands me my mug again. “It took everything in me to raise you three with your father. Doing it alone is a stress I wouldn’t wish on anyone, Judd. You are one of the strongest, smartest, and kindest men I know but that doesn’t mean you have to take everything on your shoulders. I swear I raised the three most stubborn kids there are.”

“I’m not stubborn,” Jess muses.

“Honey, you were probably the worst. If I had the time, I’d love to rehash the million phone calls home when a certain soldier of yours kept pestering you for attention. You were insufferable, in the best of ways.” My mother’s eyes twinkle and I glance over at Jess, wondering about the real story between Jess and her husband.

My sisters both tap my shoulders, Mom gesturing for them to leave. That’s when I realize why the mini-meeting had to happen here rather than in my office.

“Rest for a little bit and then finish whatever you need to. I’ll lock the door so no one comes in.” She presses a kiss to my forehead, much the same way I do to Stevie. “I know you’re all grown, Judd, but you’ll always be one of my children and I will be here whenever you need to reach out. Know that there is nothing wrong with you. Ava chose what she did and that’s on her but you are a wonderful father. Stevie loves you and you will find your happiness eventually.”

With that, she leaves.

I take a few more sips of the coffee before setting it down and leaning back in the chair. I really do hope that happiness is right around the corner because fuck I need some of it this year.