18. Judd

Judd

The afternoon at the café morphs into a lazy late afternoon at the house. It feels like I can’t get enough of him, wanting to spend more time than there is in the day. Watching how comfortable Stevie was with him this afternoon and how excited her face gets every time he acknowledges her means more to me than he’ll ever know.

An hour ago, Nakul offered to make dinner and I took him up on it because after this afternoon it was either takeout or whatever I could warm up in the microwave.

Stevie is now sprawled on the living room rug with her blocks, her giggles spilling over every time she topples a new tower. She enjoys destroying it more than she does building it. I can hear Nakul moving around in the kitchen, the clink of pots and pans accompanied by the faint scent of garlic and cheese wafting through the air.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” I call out, leaning against the archway.

Nakul glances over his shoulder, a mischievous grin on his face. “I’ve got it. Trust me.”

I shake my head, smiling as I watch him work. He moves through my kitchen with a confidence I envy—chopping broccoli, stirring a creamy sauce in a pan, tossing everything together with a practiced hand. It’s like he’s been here a hundred times, like he belongs here. The sight of him feels so natural that it catches me off guard, a pang of something warm settling in my chest.

“Dinner!” Nakul announces, setting a steaming bowl of pasta on the table. Stevie scrambles up from the floor, her blocks forgotten as she races to her chair.

“What is it?” she asks, eyeing the food with curiosity.

“Broccoli and cheese pasta,” Nakul says as I help Stevie wash her hands and then set her in her booster seat. “Try it—you might like it.” He places a small portion onto a plate and hands it to me, letting me plate it properly.

I take a few seconds to cut it into smaller pieces and then let it sit so it doesn’t burn her mouth. I’m wary that she won’t eat it—vegetables are not her favorite—but it’s almost Christmas so there could be a miracle. She makes grabby hands for the plate as I place it onto her tray.

Stevie pokes at the pasta with her fork, grumbling in frustration when the noodle won’t stick. She angrily shakes it in the air before stabbing the noodle again and then yells triumphantly before taking a tentative bite. Her eyes widen and she stabs another noodle before stuffing it into her mouth. “This is so good!” she declares, her voice muffled around the food.

I laugh, sitting across from them. “You’re a miracle worker,” I tell Nakul. “She doesn’t always eat her veggies.”

“Neither did I,” Nakul admits with a shrug. “I used to pick them out of everything until my mom made me eat broccoli with cheese. Changed my life.”

I grin, taking a bite of the pasta. It’s delicious—the perfect balance of creamy and cheesy with just enough garlic to give it a kick. “You really know your way around a kitchen,” I say, impressed.

“Just one of my many talents,” Nakul replies, winking.

***

After dinner, Stevie gets a bath and her bedtime routine starts. She insists on reading Goodnight Moon —twice—and then demands an extra hug—from Nakul, no less—before I finally tuck her in.

When I return to the kitchen, Nakul is already cleaning up. The sight of him at my sink, sleeves rolled up and hands working deftly, makes my heart twist. He’s also cleaning again even though this isn’t his house.

“You don’t have to do that,” I say, stepping in beside him.

He glances at me, smiling. “I don’t mind. Besides, you cooked last time, remember?”

“Yeah, and you helped then too.” I chuckle, grabbing a towel and starting to dry the dishes he’s rinsing. It feels oddly domestic—like a glimpse into a life I never thought I’d have. Our fingers brush every so often, both of us gravitating closer until I’m pressed against his side, the position impractical for drying.

Neither one of us moves though, not until Nakul finishes the last dish and then reaches down to grab my ass, soapy hand and all. A gasp tears from my throat as I nearly drop the last dish, glaring at him—although there’s no real anger behind it. The heat in his eyes changes the mood completely as he drags me into a kiss, both of us tasting from each other.

“Stay,” I breathe against his lips.

He pulls back just enough to look at me, his brow furrowing slightly. “Are you sure?” he asks, his tone careful. “This is a big step, Judd. Are you ready for that?”

I nod, my heart pounding. “I am. I want this. I want you.”

His expression softens and he cups my cheek, his thumb brushing against my skin. “Do you have—,”

“Yes,” I cut him off, my cheeks flaming. Searching for lube at the grocery store was embarrassing enough. Paying for it while fantasizing about this evening was even worse. I didn’t plan this but I knew it was going to happen sooner or later and I didn’t want to stop once we were in the moment. Like now.

Nakul swallows nervously as I lead him down the hallway to my room. I check the baby monitor on my nightstand, making sure that it’s on before locking my door. My head rests against the wood as I gather my thoughts, Nakul stepping up behind me, his hands settling on my waist. “We don’t have to do this, Judd. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” I mumble. “But I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Like what it would feel like, you inside of me, holding me. Am I crazy?”

He chuckles, kissing down the back of my neck before running his lips across my shoulder. “Only if I am.” Then he turns me around and kisses me, holding my face in his large hands.

His lips press against mine, slow and deliberate, and I melt into the embrace. It’s not rushed; there’s no urgency, just the quiet exploration of each other. His hands move back to my waist, pulling me closer and I let myself lean into him, my arms sliding around his neck.

There’s no fumbling, no pressure, just the soft hum of connection that builds with every kiss, every touch. His hands are warm as they glide up my back, and when his fingers slip beneath my shirt, I shiver—not from the cold, but from the way his touch sets my skin alight.

He pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against mine, his breath mingling with mine. “Tell me if you want to stop,” he says softly.

“I don’t want to stop,” I whisper, my voice shaky but certain. “I don’t want to stop.”

We move slowly as if the world outside this room doesn’t exist. He peels off my shirt with careful hands, his fingers brushing my skin in a way that makes me feel seen— cherished . His lips find my neck again, trailing soft kisses along my jawline, down to my collarbone, each one drawing a quiet gasp from me.

“Nakul…” I murmur, my hands tangling in his hair. It’s softer than I expected, sliding easily between my fingers. He looks up at me, his eyes dark and filled with something more than just desire—something almost like love.

“Tell me how you want this,” he says, his voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down my spine.

“I don’t know,” I admit, feeling a little embarrassed. “Just… this. You.” Neither one of us has been with men before but I know what I want now. There’s no denying that I’m both attracted and falling for this man who has me as putty in his hands.

His lips curve into a small smile and he kisses me again, deeper this time. We stumble toward the bed as I fight with his shirt, laughing when he reaches down and rips it over his head with expert precision. The laugh dies in my throat as he undresses the rest of me and then himself, showing me his entire body for the first time.

Nakul stands at the edge of the bed as I lean back on my elbows from the mattress. He’s a work of art, muscles upon muscles lining every inch of his body but it’s his cock that makes my mouth water. My tongue darts out to lick my lips before I sit up and swallow the tip. His hips buck forward, his hands on my shoulders as I taste him. Knowing that I’m undoing this beautiful man in front of me gives me the confidence to keep going.

“Fuck, Judd. If you keep doing that—”

He gently tugs me off his cock and I scoot farther onto the bed, my heart beating a little faster with what’s about to happen. It’s always been me taking apart my date, watching them fall apart before I do and now the roles are switched. I find that I love it.

I reach over to my nightstand and unearth the new bottle of lube, both of us swallowing nervously. Nakul slips it from my hands and then kneels beside the bed. “Come a little closer, love.” My breath catches at the new nickname, Nakul pausing as if he didn’t even realize he used it. “I need to prep you so you don’t get hurt.”

“Have you done this before?” I ask timidly, scooting back toward the edge of the bed so my legs are spread around him, hanging off the mattress.

“Anal? Sure. I did some research so just tell me what works and what doesn’t.”

I nod, bracing myself for the worst. Nakul presses a kiss to my inner thigh before working his way up to my cock. “What—what are you doing?”

“Relaxing you, love. You have to relax for this to work. It might hurt a little bit but I promise to make it good.” I can see in his eyes that he wants this as much as I do. Trusting him, I lay flat on the mattress just as he swallows my cock.

A low, unbidden groan falls from my lips before I clasp my hands over my mouth. Then I hear it—the snap of a cap and the squirt of lube. I’ve done anal a few times so I know the process but I’ve never been on the receiving end. Nakul works me over, licking and sucking my cock so that I almost don’t notice the finger circling my ass.

I writhe beneath him, not sure whether to push back against the finger or thrust into Nakul’s mouth. He slowly pushes inside, adding another one when he feels that I’m ready. The slight burn falls away to pleasure, another groan coming from me when he hits a certain spot.

“What the fuck is that?”

Nakul looks up at me and grins, brushing over it several more times. I thrust up into his mouth, unable to keep from moving. My eyes roll into the back of my head as he continues to massage that spot inside of my ass before I’m spilling down his throat. “It’s a pleasure spot,” Nakul muses as he pulls off my cock and stands up. He licks his lips as he stares down at me, grinning like he just won the lottery. “I told you I’d make you feel good, Judd.”

I push to my feet on shaky legs, my body thrumming with energy. I never knew that spot existed but now that I do, I want more. “God, Nakul, that… I have no words.”

He helps me onto the bed, this time facing me away from him, his lips hovering over my ear. “I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to show you what it feels like and then I hope you’ll let me hold you during the night.”

“Yes, I want that,” I respond.

“Do you want me to wear a condom? I’m negative but—”

“No, I want to feel you. I’m negative too but I want this… I want all of you, Nakul,” I whisper, Nakul tangling his fingers with mine. I curl my hands, locking us together just as he lines himself up with my ass. I don’t even have to tell him to go slow as he inches inside, waiting for me to be comfortable enough to move again. I tense, tightening my grip on his hands as I do.

“Breathe, love. Judd, breathe with me or it’s going to hurt.”

Pain hovers around my ass as I try to focus on something else but it isn’t working. Until Nakul leans down and starts nibbling on my ear, his tongue curling around the lobe. I whine into the pillow, rocking against the mattress for relief as Nakul sinks the rest of the way inside.

“God, you’re so fucking big,” I mumble, trying to find comfort in this position. Nakul rocks against my ass and then there it is—the explosion of pleasure as he brushes against that spot. I bury my face farther into the pillows before nodding, telling Nakul to move.

He slides back out and slowly pushes back in, gently ramping up his pace until my entire body is alight with pleasure, the unintelligible sounds coming from my mouth getting lost in the sheets. His movements stutter, signaling that he’s close, Nakul leaning over my back again.

“Where do you want me, love?”

“Inside,” I breathe. I don’t even know why but I want to feel all of him, everything . I grunt as he brushes against that spot again and then my body shudders as I come for a second time, Nakul unloading in my ass seconds later. He continues to fuck me through it, the squelch of his release prolonging the pleasurable sensations.

A few moments later, he collapses beside me, both of us staring at each other as we catch our breath. I’m not sure what I thought would have happened after Nakul made love to me but the warm fuzzy feelings in my chest as I draw him into a kiss wasn’t it.

***

I wake briefly after falling asleep in Nakul’s arms. We spent fifteen minutes showering and giggling like teenagers before passing out but a few hours later, I can’t sleep. Nakul’s arms are still wrapped around me, his breathing slow and even against the back of my neck. For a moment, I just lie there, savoring the quiet, before the faint crackle of the baby monitor catches my attention.

I sit up carefully, not wanting to disturb Nakul, and glance at the monitor on the nightstand. I click on the screen, Stevie’s sprawled across her bed, her blanket halfway to the floor. She’s sound asleep, her little snores setting off the monitor.

Relief washes over me and I set the monitor back down, turning my attention back to Nakul. He stirs slightly as I settle back against his chest, his arm tightening around me instinctively.

“Everything okay?” he murmurs, his voice heavy with sleep.

“Yeah,” I whisper, pressing back against him. “Stevie’s fine.”

He hums softly, pulling me closer. His lips find my temple, pressing a kiss there before trailing down to the corner of my mouth. I turn to meet him, our lips brushing in a soft, lazy kiss that feels like a promise.

“I’m glad you stayed,” I whisper.

“Me too,” he replies, his lips curving into a small smile against mine.

I rest my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The foreign feeling growing inside me is impossible to ignore. It’s love—real, terrifying, wonderful love.