12. Judd

Judd

I feel queasy and it’s not because of the chicken in the oven. My kitchen smells great—garlic, rosemary, and thyme filling the air—but my stomach hasn’t settled since Nakul texted to say he was on his way.

I glance down at myself, smoothing the beige sweater Jess picked out, wondering if it’s too much or too casual. I settled on jeans, figuring they’d balance out the sweater, but now I’m second-guessing everything. Even with Stevie out of the house and the only thing I have to focus on is dinner—I’m still freaking out a little.

A date. This is a date.

I grab a glass of water and take a sip, hoping it’ll calm my nerves. It doesn’t. The timer on the oven beeps, an undignified shriek tearing from my throat as some water splashes on the floor. I place the cup on the counter and wipe up the spill, hating myself a little more than usual right now. I’m in my early thirties, so I should be able to handle a little date.

“Get it together,” I mutter, pulling the pan from the oven and setting it on the stovetop. The chicken looks perfect, golden and crisp. It’s just dinner. No big deal. Except it is a big deal.

A knock at the door makes my heart leap into my throat. I wipe my hands on a dish towel and head to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it.

Nakul stands there, his hands in his pockets as per usual, his loose gray shirt hanging just right over jeans that hug his legs and, well… everything else. I hadn’t noticed before, but I do now. My eyes linger a second too long before they snap back to his face.

“Hey,” I say, my voice a little too high. “Come in.”

“Hey,” he replies, stepping inside. His smile is warm, easy, the kind of smile that makes me feel both comfortable and completely unsteady.

We stand there for a moment, awkwardly shifting. I gesture toward the kitchen. “Dinner’s almost ready. You can sit if you want.”

“Smells amazing,” he muses, following me into the kitchen. He leans against the counter, watching as I finish plating the chicken with roasted vegetables. “You really went all out.”

I shrug, avoiding his gaze. “I figured it’d be better than takeout.”

When the food’s ready, we sit at the table and I serve Nakul, trying to wade through the awkward tension. “So,” I start, desperate to fill the silence, “how’s work going?” It’s the only thing I can think to ask but it just shows how much I don’t know the man in front of me.

“Good,” he says, cutting into his chicken. “The lab project’s coming along. Your sister, Athena—she’s a powerhouse. Keeps me on my toes.”

I laugh, nodding. “She’s always been like that. Even when we were kids, she was the one bossing everyone around.” Most people think Athena is the older sister, what with her slice of fame when she was married to her ex. She was in all the newspapers in her high-end house but that ended poorly. She’s happy now with Lars and he’s one of the best brother-in-laws I could ask for. Graham—Jess’—husband is my other brother-in-law and they’re both perfect for my sisters.

He smiles as the tension in the room eases a little. “What about you?” he asks. “What made you want to go into accounting?”

I shrug, chewing on a piece of chicken. “I was good at numbers. It seemed like a smart career. I had this idea I’d open my own firm, maybe travel a bit, but life had other plans. Working with my family isn’t so bad, though. They’re supportive and we usually get along.”

“Usually?” he teases.

I grin. “Okay, there are days when we don’t. But it works.”

He leans back in his chair, studying me. “If they’re so supportive, why didn’t you lean on them sooner? With Stevie, I mean.”

The question catches me off guard and I stare at my plate for a moment. “I felt like a failure,” I admit quietly. “Like asking for help would just confirm that I couldn’t do it on my own. And then, after a while, it felt like it was too late to ask. I’d dug myself into a hole and I didn’t want anyone to know how deep it was.”

“I get that,” he says. “But you’re not a failure, Judd. You’re doing the best you can and Stevie’s lucky to have you.”

The sincerity in his voice makes my chest tighten. “Thanks,” I say softly, not trusting myself to say more on that matter.

The conversation flows more easily after that. Nakul tells me stories about high school and football, about how he dreamed of playing pro but an injury derailed everything. He talks about how much he’s learned since then, how his life has taken paths he never expected.

I share more about my own journey—my aspirations, my missteps, and the strange but fulfilling life I’ve built with my family and Stevie. It feels good to open up, to talk without worrying about being judged.

Before I know it, we’ve finished eating, and I’m clearing the plates. “You don’t have to help,” I tell Nakul as he gets up to join me in the kitchen.

“Not a chance,” he says, grabbing the dishes from the table and bringing them over.

We work side by side in the small kitchen and I realize I’m not ready for the night to be over. But there’s no obvious way to keep it going without making things… weird. I stack the last plate in the sink and turn around, ready to thank him for coming.

Instead, I bump straight into him.

“Oh, sorry,” I start, but the words die in my throat. He’s closer than I realized, his dark eyes locked on mine. Our breaths mingle in the small space between us and it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room.

“Tell me I can kiss you, Judd,” he mumbles.

“ Yes. ” No hesitation, no thinking, just one word.

His lips are on mine a second later. This kiss is sweet, deliberate, like he’s savoring every second. His hands slide to my waist, pulling me closer, and I tangle my fingers in his long hair, losing myself in the sensation, in the warmth of his touch.

This time it’s different, the awkwardness gone, nothing to stop us from going further. And Nakul isn’t stopping, his lips trailing down my jaw and then to my throat. A gasp falls from me as my head falls back and I catch myself against the counter. “Nakul?”

“Tell me to stop if you need to, Judd. I don’t know what this is but I can’t stop thinking about you. I just need… more. To explore. To satisfy the desire.” He straightens back up, still holding onto my waist, searching my expression. I have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about. “Let me taste you.”

It’s like my entire body short circuits, although my cock doesn’t get the memo. It thickens against the seam of my jeans, almost painfully. There’s no way he can’t feel it against his thigh with how close he is but I can’t seem to find my words.

Nakul cups my face in his hands, lightly rubbing his nose against mine. “Judd, we don’t have to do anything.”

“Why would you want to do that?” I’m 99% sure Nakul and I both had the same sexual preferences. We love women, even if we’re terrible at picking them. And yet, the man standing before just told me he wants to suck my cock.

“Because I’m obsessed, Judd. I don’t know how it happened but I want more. I don’t want to push you so just tell me no and we can end the night with ice cream and a movie or I can leave. I don’t know when it happened either but I’m in, Judd. Fuck, I’ve never felt like this about a man before, hell about anyone before.” He’s so earnest in his words as if this moment means everything to him.

And I can’t deny that I want his lips everywhere. I want to feel him everywhere and although I’m not ready, I’m now fantasizing about him bending me over the counter, taking me with that roughness I know he has…

An embarrassing moan falls from my lips, my lids falling shut. “Fuck, yes. Please. ”

He kisses me again before dropping to his knees, eagerly undoing my pants and shoving them down my legs a few inches. He wastes no time unearthing my cock from my briefs, just the touch of his palms against my length making me sigh with pleasure. “I… haven’t done this. Just bear with me.”

Nakul says that like he hasn’t sucked a cock before but the way he swallows me whole nearly has me spilling down his throat. I cry out, confused and turned on, one of my hands sinking into his hair as my hips rock against his face. “Holy shit,” I breathe out.

He hums around my cock, running his tongue along the underside of my length before starting to bob his head. His eyes water as he continues, Nakul’s expression changing from pure lust to excitement and something akin to determination. He grips my thighs, his fingers digging in, my hips bucking forward against my will.

I’m still clinging to the counter, Nakul sucking me with an expert rhythm, drawing out my pleasure like he owns me. This isn’t how I expected this evening to end. Nakul on his knees for me is a sight to behold as his head bobs, the man pulling back just enough to make me squirm with the need for release.

His eyes meet mine, a wild grin on his lips as his tongue darts out to lick my tip. “You taste divine, Judd. I want you to come down my throat.”

“Have you ever done this before? No, that was a stupid question. You don’t have to. I—”

Nakul reaches beneath my cock and tugs my balls, cutting off my words. “I don’t have to do anything, Judd but I want this.” He sounds so sincere as he licks my tip again before swallowing me whole, taking up that rhythm again.

My hand tightens in his hair as I warn him, grunting and trying to swallow my moans as the familiar pleasure builds in my lower belly. Nakul doesn’t wait, picking up his pace until he’s almost gagging on my cock. It’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, even more so when I can no longer hold on and I explode in his mouth.

He drinks me down like a man starved, holding me up with those firm hands on my thighs until he’s done. No words pass between us as he slowly stands up, placing me back in my pants before looking at me.

I don’t know what our next step is and I’m not sure why I do it but I draw him into a slow, sweet kiss, tasting myself on his lips. It’s not my favorite thing but the way Nakul tries to devour me with every kiss overrides the taste. “That was the fucking hottest blow job I’ve had in my entire life,” I murmur against his lips, finding some confidence in my words. “Next time, it’s my turn.”

Nakul chuckles. “I’ll hold you to that, Judd. We should do this again.”

I agree, Nakul putting a few inches of space between us so that we don’t start up something else. As much as I want to drop down to my knees for this man and repay the favor or even spend the rest of the night talking—we both know our limits. Limits that I hope I break through soon.

He heads for the door, grabbing his jacket before spinning around and kissing me one more time. My cock twitches in my pants, already ready for another round. Soon, I tell myself because Nakul is addicting. I went a week trying to convince myself that what I wanted was impossible and now I’m telling myself that I want more.

With Stevie gone for the night, I don’t have to do anything other than crawl into bed after a quick shower. I check my phone, not at all surprised to see a text from my sisters, although I ignore it. Then there’s a text from Nakul.

Thank you for dinner.

My cheeks heat as another text comes in.

I can’t get the way you looked as you came out of my head.

Fuck, I’m thinking of things that can’t be right, Judd. Please tell me that I’m not the only one.

I quickly text back.

You’re not the only one, Nakul. I didn’t plan any of this. It’s happening so fast.

Too fast?

Strangely, no. I just wasn’t ready for it.

I wasn’t lying when I said I’m a little obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about you.

Maybe it’s reckless to open my heart so fast but Nakul is everything I’ve been looking for—just not in the package I had planned but it doesn’t bother me. In fact, I love Nakul just as he is and I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

Me either.

I finally reply before burying my face into my pillows and letting a little yelp of happiness. It’s been years since I felt like this, years since I allowed myself to truly feel, to truly enjoy the bits in life. Nakul isn’t just unexpected, he’s everything I needed.