Chapter Thirty

Nora

Adventureland Amusement Park on Long Island is like a carnival that doesn't travel; not the highest of quality attractions but flashy enough to draw a crowd.

Rosalina, I learned through a few cursory texts, manages employment, and can take a short lunch break on the premises so long as most of her staff shows up and nothing is on fire.

I drop her name at the entrance and the attendant gives me a map with The Sweet Shop circled.The park is bright and bold, a shock of color that lifts my spirits. The ground vibrates from rumbling roller coasters as I maneuver through families, gaggles of loud teenagers, and people clearly on dates.

A complicated mix of emotion flows through me.

Since poker night more than a week ago, all I've wanted to do is see Sebastian. We may not have defined our status, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to stroll this theme park with him, fingers intertwined, sunshine warming our skin.

I want couple-y things, even if we aren't officially that.

We've been texting, but it's not the same as spending time together. I miss him.

And if I miss him now while he still lives here, imagine how badly I'll—

Nope .

Not going there right now. The man hasn't even said if he wants a relationship. I have to at least try to be smart about this whole thing.

When I find The Sweet Shop, Ro is waiting for me at a table outside with two coffees and a chunk of fudge.Her black hair is wild with waves and thrown up in a ponytail, not straight and glossy down her back like it was for most of wedding week. She's in a sequined tank top, black shorts, and teal Converse sneakers, notably different from the stylish dresses, blazers, and stilettos she wore that week.All her fancy gold jewelry has been traded out for colorful beaded bracelets, a leather corded necklace with a single seashell, and—yup, that's definitely a nose ring.

Maybe managers of theme parks are required to look like cool land mermaids. Or maybe Benji and I weren't the only ones putting on an act to impress the Ferraros.

She lifts her left hand to wave.

Still wearing her engagement ring.

My fingers itch to text Sebastian immediately to let him know this. He's going to be so excited.

"Hi." I move quickly to the table and drop into the seat across from her. "Thanks so much for meeting me. Or letting me meet you, I guess."

"No problem. It's a nice change of pace. I rarely get visitors at work, believe it or not."

I free my phone from my pocket. "What's your Venmo? I want to pay you for this stuff."

"It's okay. It's free for me. Manager perks."

"Oh! That's nice. Thank you." My voice holds a nervous edge as I lay my phone on the table. "So. I'll cut right to the chase because I'm sure you're busy. I know Benji already apologized to you, but I wanted my chance. I'm so sorry for all the drama. For lying to you with Benji, for getting caught by your mother with Sebastian, for contributing to the stress of your week. For hurting you." I shake my head in disgust. "I hate hearing all that out loud."

Her smile is sad. She picks up a plastic knife and cuts into the fudge. "Thanks. I really appreciate that. I was angry at my brother for lying to me, but I wasn't holding a grudge against you. And he apologized, which I appreciate. The week was just a mess in the end. Whether or not my mom found out about you and Sebastian and made a huge scene, I think it still would've ended this way. When your families are mortal enemies, what hope is there for a marriage?"

I sip my coffee as I contemplate whether or not that question was rhetorical.

My phone lights up on the table.

Sebastian Rossi

I clock the extra thump in my chest that always seems to come when I think of him after not thinking of him for a little while. It's an extra heartbeat of mine that belongs to him.His text is on the screen for both of us to see.

How's coffee going?

"Is that Sebastian?"

I blink and find Ro's gaze fixed on me. A swell of tangled emotion twists in my gut. I'm sure she doesn't want to see the smile Sebastian puts on my face when she's dealing with this break that I refuse to think of as a breakup. "Sorry, I'll text him later."

Her laugh is rich. "It's okay. I'm glad someone found love at my wedding, even if it wasn't me."

My heart lurches. "Ro—"

"I'm fine. Honestly, I could use a girl chat that isn't focused on me and people feeling sorry for me. Gia keeps looking at me like I might collapse any second. Tell me everything about what's going on with you two. Leave no detail out. I want to know all about his big, fat—

"People can hear!"

"—personality." She beams. "And his dick."

A laugh escapes me. The sun warms my skin as a few birds fly overhead.

Girl chat. How long have I wanted exactly that? And maybe it'll help me make sense of things. It's not like I can talk to Benji about Sebastian. He'd just say huh, wow, did you want to talk about it? after I'd already been talking about it for several straight minutes.

"We aren't in love, first of all," I say, swirling my coffee cup as my heart flutters.

"Okay, so no love. Yet . I guess it must be pretty new if it started at the wedding? You're still in the talking phase?"

"We talk."

"Right, but are you talking ?"

I cock my head to the side. "What does that mean?"

"Talking is post-hookup and pre-exclusive where everyone is really coy about their feelings."

"What are the other categories?" I ask. "Besides talking?"

"I think they're called ‘levels,' not categories. There's pre-hookup, talking, exclusive, and then in a relationship. That's when you're boyfriend/girlfriend/partner."

"What's the difference between exclusive and in a relationship?"

Her brows knit. "I'm not sure, actually. Meeting the family, maybe?"

"Ah." My limbs vibrate, and not just from the roller coaster thundering in the distance. If that's a level, Sebastian and I skipped a few by accident when I met Nella.

I shake this off. I didn't "meet his family." It was just poker night.

And then all the things that happened after poker.

My face warms from more than just the sun.

"So, what level are you and Sebastian?" she asks with an eager twist of her hand. "Spill."

The ice in my coffee is quickly melting. I take a sip. Is there a "level" where we give all of ourselves behind closed doors, but we've never even been on a real date? Where I want to be with him so badly that I have to force my heart not to get ahead of itself, but I'm also brutally aware that he's leaving and try to avoid thinking about it? "I'm not sure we fit a level."

"How is that possible?"

"Well, we— I really like him, but—"

"Look at you blushing." She waves her hand, her iridescent nail polish glinting in the sun. "You are obviously still banging."

My phone lights up again as my stomach flip-flops.

What'd you wear to this meetup? Important for context. Feel free to send a picture.

If eyebrows can be smug, hers are.

"Okay, there are feelings there," I blurt, turning over my phone. "But he's scheduled to move soon, and that makes me want to keep my heart distance."

Not that I'm doing a great job at that.

"Oh crap, really? That sucks. But that doesn't have to be the kiss of death." Her nose scrunches up. "What's heart distance?"

"Where you let yourself be mentally and physically present but keep your heart where no one can reach it. My mom used to tell me to keep my heart distance from boys so I wouldn't get hurt, which was ironic because she flung herself headfirst into every relationship she ever had. Then they'd implode."

Out come my octopus sharing arms. I'm saying a lot of things out loud. But it feels so easy to open up to Ro, and it's a relief to lay it all out there so plainly. "Anyway, last night I thought about talking to him about our situation, but then we…you know."

She nods sagely. "And then you forgot all about talking. Unless there was the not-safe-for-work kind."

I fan my now-sweaty neck. "There was some talking…"

"Good job, Sebastian." A smile touches her lips. "Gosh, I miss the early days with Enzo. When we started dating it was twice daily. I couldn't get enough. I was like a rabid animal."Her face falls as a breeze ruffles her ponytail. "I miss him. I wish I could go back in time for just one more night with him."

I sense my opening and pounce. "How would you spend it?"

"Probably a fun date night at the bowling alley, then a night spent breaking the bed. We have so much fun together. I think that's part of why I fell for him. And he's really good at the stuff , if you catch my drift."

"Consider it caught." I take the knife and hack off a piece of fudge. I try to keep my tone light so she doesn't think I'm steamrolling her. "I could talk to him, you know. I really want to help you, if I can. I know he really loves you, and you clearly love him, too."

"I don't know. I don't want to make you a messenger." She exhales. "I mean, we'll have to see each other eventually. We still live together, even though I haven't been there."

"And if I arranged a situation where we were all in the same place at the same time so you can talk with no pressure, what then?"

She laughs. "Why, are you throwing a house party or something?"

"Listen, I'm here to help and make amends for the wedding. If a house party is what it takes, I'll get a disco ball for my apartment or get you two locked in a closet for Seven Minutes in Heaven."

"You are incredibly sweet. Benji has good taste in friends." She bites her straw. "He's going to have to learn to share you. In case it's not clear, you and I are good. All is forgiven. I'm glad you plus-one'd my wedding. Sebastian too. Cheers to us, friend."

"Thanks." I lift my coffee as my heart balloons, pressing against my ribcage. "Cheers to us."

By the time we go our separate ways, I'm floating on a cloud.

It wasn't a no to getting her and Enzo in the same room, and it was a better meeting than I would've dared to hope for.

I'm not even out of the park yet when I text Sebastian back, hope cushioning my every step.

I think there's hope for them. We just have to get them bowling.

Sebastian responds right away.

I didn't realize bowling held that kind of power.

I laugh a little too hard, and love seeing his name in my phone a little too much. With a cleansing exhale, I vow to wrap my arms around this moment and cradle it to my chest for as long as possible.