Chapter 9

9

The first thing I do when I get back to the house is try to book an earlier flight out of Jakarta. We’re supposed to fly to Bali in two days’ time, but I look for flights going out of the city that night. Because even though we’ve managed to claw our way out of trouble this time, there’s still a strand of fear twined around my stomach, knotted up tight. I have a bad feeling about all of this. I’m still scrolling through flight options when Nathan comes out of the shower, a towel tied around his abs.

“Man, that shower is amazing. I’m surprised you didn’t want to go first.” When I don’t reply, he comes over, still toweling his hair dry. “You okay?”

“Ah, yeah. I’m just busy looking up flights.”

“Oh? What for?”

“To go to Bali earlier. I don’t wanna stay in Jakarta.”

Nathan sits down on the bed next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. “Hey. Look at me for a moment.”

I do so, and the sight of him cracks my heart a little because only a few hours ago, this man had been in the clutches of a possibly unhinged, extremely powerful woman who was clearly dangerous, and it had all been my and my family’s fault. As usual. How many times can I put him in danger before he finally has enough of me? I open my mouth and take a breath that feels like it’s crushing my lungs before realizing I don’t really know what to say.

Nathan must have seen something in my expression because his gaze softens. “It’s okay. I’m here. You got me out safely.” He tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear and smirks at me. “You’re my hero.”

That gets a laugh out of me. Damn it, how does he manage to make me smile, even now? “But—” I half laugh, half groan, “Nathan, you were literally in the clutches of the mafia.”

He gives me a deadpan look. “They’re law-abiding citizens, Meddy.”

My laughter takes over my entire body, shaking out from deep in my belly. How ridiculous is the whole thing? “They’re clearly not.”

“I know.” Nathan grins. “I’ve never seen anyone look more uncomfortable in a formal business suit than Abi does.”

“Oh god,” I moan, “he looks like he’s dying to rip the suit off so he can go around in an undershirt and a machete slung over his shoulder.” I pause. “But you know what’s even weirder than that?”

“What’s weirder than meeting a guy who looks like he stepped out of a movie about Hong Kong triad members?”

“How terrified he is of Big Aunt.”

This time, we both dissolve into peals of wild laughter. “I don’t blame him. I’m terrified of Big Aunt. I mean, I admire her, of course, but I wouldn’t dare cross her. Ever.”

“Wise.” I sigh and sag against Nathan, putting my head on his muscular shoulder. I close my eyes and inhale the freshly soaped scent of him, and it feels as though every muscle in my body is finally unknotting. “I was so worried,” I murmur.

“I know.” He puts an arm around me and strokes my hair with heartbreaking gentleness. “But for what it’s worth, I was never afraid, not even for a moment.”

“Really?” I lift my head so I can look him in the eyes.

“Yeah.” He puts a hand under my chin and gazes down at me. “Because I knew you’d do whatever it took to come get me.”

Even now, even after we’ve been together for over a year, and are married, he still manages to make me blush. Warmth oozes from the pit of my belly and into every part of me. “Aww, that’s so s—”

Then he adds, “Well, and your mom and your aunts. I knew they’d rain hellfire down on the world to save me.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “So when you said I was your hero, you really meant Ma and the aunties?”

“Well, I mean, am I wrong? You said they literally wrestled the title deed off some poor teen. I’m guessing you didn’t join in the fray.”

“And assault a teenage girl? No, of course I didn’t.”

Nathan holds up his hands and shrugs. “Okay, so I stand corrected; the only knights in shining armor here are Ma and the aunties.”

I turn away so he doesn’t see the little twitch of a smile on my face. Every time I hear him referring to Ma as “Ma” instead of “your mom” or even “your ma,” it sends a jolt of affection straight into my heart. Honestly, could I love this guy any more than I already do?

But I shouldn’t let myself get carried away. There are important things to take care of now. Like getting the hell out of here. With a sigh, I turn back to Nathan. “Anyway, I don’t like the mess we’ve gotten caught up in. I don’t like that we had people like Abi and Julia Child and this Kristofer guy involved.”

“Can I just take a moment to revel in the glory of their names?” Nathan grins. “Although, hang on, why aren’t any of them named after great Indonesian or Chinese people?”

“Oh, they’ll have Chinese names honoring great Chinese heroes too. But yeah, when it comes to Anglicized names, people here tend to go for famous white people. It’s a whole thing. Can we focus? As much as I’d love to discuss the deep and complicated ways that colonization has affected Indonesia, I think we should concentrate on getting out of here. These people—they’re not people we should be involved with.”

“Yes, but technically, we’re no longer involved with them. The matter has been resolved, and we can all move on—” His voice trails off and he looks up at the ceiling. Then he sighs. “Never mind, even as I say that, I realize how naive I sound.” He squeezes my hand. “You’re right. It’s definitely not great that we’ve crossed paths with people this powerful. When I was at Julia Child’s house, she and I chatted a bit, and I definitely got the feeling that she’s not someone to be crossed.”

I can’t stop the shiver that runs up my spine. “What do you mean by that? Did she tell you things? What does she do when someone crosses her? Gunshot to the head? Dismemberment? Acid bath?”

“Uh. None of the above. Jesus, Meddy, you’ve been watching too much Squid Game.”

I flap my arms up and down, like an angry chicken. “You just said in this really ominous tone that she’s not someone to be crossed. What in the world am I supposed to take from that? Obviously it’s something sinister.”

“No, I just meant like, she’d go out of her way to take down her business rivals.”

“Yeah, by killing them.”

“No! Just—you know, by buying their businesses and then taking them apart, that sort of thing.” He hesitates, thinking. “I guess some people might argue that it’s a kind of death. But a business death, not the kind that comes about from a machete to the head.”

“Oh. Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because I thought you were a normal person and would jump to the normal conclusion?” Nathan shakes his head, smiling at me, but the smile doesn’t stay long on his face. “You’re really worried, huh?”

“You don’t get it, do you? When you were held up in her house—that was one of the worst moments of my life. I know this sounds really cliché, but I wouldn’t know what to do if something had happened to you.”

“Meddy.” Nathan pulls me close, his fingers tangling in my hair. He sighs and kisses my forehead. “Okay, let’s do this. Let’s catch an earlier flight.”

My rib cage seems to loosen and I take a deep breath. “Thank you.” I can’t believe it was this easy to convince Nathan. I guess I’m just used to Ma, who would argue with me endlessly before telling me to wait while she consulted with the aunties, and each auntie would undoubtedly have conflicting opinions that they would need to thrash out with one another in the loudest possible way. The thought of Ma and the aunties makes my chest tighten again. “Now we just need to convince Ma and the aunties.”

Nathan winces. “Oof, yeah, I’m gonna let you handle that—” He laughs when I punch his arm. “Just kidding! Come on, let’s go talk to them together.”

I grimace. That was a definitely unhappy squawk from Ma. Next to me, Nathan rallies valiantly. “We think it would be wise to leave Jakarta as soon as we can.”

Fourth Aunt looks up from her handheld mirror, her other hand, holding a pair of tweezers, poised above her upper lip. “Why?” she says, before plucking a stray strand of mustache and wincing.

“Because we got involved with the triad?” I say loudly, gesturing for effect.

“Not triad,” Second Aunt sighs. “I tell you, Abi is good man, he is good businessman. Why you have to say ‘triad’ like that? Make him sound so bad.”

I grit my teeth so hard that I can practically feel them cracking. But I still need to bring Second Aunt on to our side if I’m to have any hope of convincing them, so I must be patient. “Yeah, maybe Abi is a good man, like you say, but Julia Child and the guy they crossed—the guy we crossed, actually—Kristofer Kolumbes, sound like bad news. I just don’t think we should be sticking around after the huge mess today.”

“Aduh, Meddy,” Ma says, shaking her head. “Why you must be so mellow dramatic? I tell you all the time, please, just relax, okay?”

Oh my god. My mother, of all people, telling me I’m melodramatic? I’m in some kind of hell, I know it. Still, I make myself take a deep breath and release it through my teeth. I turn to Big Aunt, who is surely my best chance of getting some sense into my mother. “Big Aunt, you saw what happened. You were there. Julia Child literally kept Nathan hostage.”

Big Aunt frowns. She’s been sitting there quietly, calmly pondering what Nathan and I just brought up with them, and now all eyes are on her as she prepares to deliver her verdict. “Mm. This is hard decision, Meddy. On one hen, I also not like these people we tangle with. On the other hen, if we leave so suddenly, all of us, maybe people will think: Why? Why they go so fast?”

“Aiya, we will lose face for sure!” Ma gasps. “Yes, you are right, Dajie. Everyone will asking this and that. Why you must go so sudden? Suddenly you leaving, must be something wrong, maybe business in California fail.”

All of the aunties’ faces pale at this. Even Fourth Aunt lowers her handheld mirror to gape at the others in dismay.

Poor, unsuspecting, sweet Nathan clears his throat. “Um, I’m sure the rest of the family wouldn’t jump to that conclusion,” he says before I can stop him.

Oh no. He’s done it now.

All four women descend on him like shrieking harpies.

Second Aunt: “Hah. That is exactly the first conclusion they jumping to.”

Ma: “Oh, they will be so smug, you can just see that Marilin face, she will smile like this and say, ‘Oh, such shame that your business got trouble. I tell you all those years ago, don’t move to California, but you never listen to me.’ ”

Fourth Aunt: “You have no idea what these bitches will say about us.”

Nathan now has his palms up in front of his face, shielding himself from them. “But—wait—I don’t get it—we just had a lovely celebration with these people. They’re so close to you. They’re so friendly. Why—”

“Tch,” Big Aunt tuts, and everyone else quiets down. She narrows her eyes at Nathan. “Nathan, you are half-Asian, how you cannot understand this?” When he opens his mouth to reply, Big Aunt holds up her palm and shakes her head. “Never mind. Is because you growing up in small family, I know. But with big family, everything is complicated. Yes, of course we love one another. But we all have our own argument with one another. And when we leave Indonesia for America so many years ago, there are many—what you call it—”

“Petty bitches,” Fourth Aunt pipes up.

Big Aunt nods somberly. “Yes, petty bitches.” I have no idea if she even knows what the words mean. I hope she doesn’t. “They get angry. Why we leave? Maybe some of them want to leave, too, but they cannot because this reason, that reason. So yes, they are happy for us, wah, we make it in America. But they also not that happy because maybe they are a bit jealous.”

“But they’ve made it here,” Nathan mutters. “I mean, look at this house. It’s massive.”

“Yeah, we’re petty bitches about it too,” Fourth Aunt says. “Have you not heard the number of backhanded compliments we’ve given them? Do I regret leaving Indonesia? Sometimes. Am I ever going to admit that to them? Over my dead body.”

Big Aunt nods. “But is like, how you say, the grass got early worms on the other side.”

“The grass is greener on the other side,” I say.

Big Aunt frowns. “Why it would be greener on other side? It will be the same green. But got more worms, so the soil more fertile, then you can grow more veggie-tibbles.”

“Uh . . .” I give up. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Nathan nods slowly, looking dazed. “Right . . . I think I get it?” He glances at me, and I shrug. I don’t even really get it, and I’ve grown up with this. But no world politics is more complicated than the aunties network. He turns back to Ma and the aunts. “So even though you’ve all done well, half of you by moving to America, and the other half by staying behind, you secretly wish you’d done a lot better than them.”

Ma nods happily. “Yes, exactly. Aduh, you very smart deh, Nathan. Surely your babies all be genius, go to Mensa.”

Nathan gives a weak laugh. “Maybe we can make up some urgent reason for us all to leave Jakarta?”

Ma harrumphs. “No, is been so long since we see everybody. I want to spend more time with my family.”

“You all just talked about how much you can’t stand each other!” Nathan’s voice has reached a pitch I’m very familiar with myself, because that’s the pitch I always hit when I’m trying to convince Ma and the aunts to do something they don’t want to do.

“Yes, but they still family,” Big Aunt says sternly.

“We might all be in danger,” I point out.

“Tch.” Second Aunt flaps her hand at me dismissively. “You just being drama queen again, Meddy. Of course we not in danger. Got Abi to protect us.” She simpers, and I decide I don’t like Second Aunt in love.

“He seemed really scared of Julia Child.” I have to admit that I take a bit of pleasure in reminding her of this.

Second Aunt glowers at me. “He not afraid. He just being diplomatic. Nathan, you know all about that, you are also businessman.” Her laser gaze drills into Nathan, who stares back with naked panic.

“Uh. To be fair . . .” Nathan swallows and proceeds with the care that one takes approaching a live bomb. “He did seem slightly more nervous than one would expect. Perhaps there might be more danger than we’re all privy to?”

Ma shakes her head. “You kids are too Westernized. You just not used to how Asian business go. We always have to show respect. But you think showing respect is being scared.”

I think back to the expression on Abi’s face. It was very definitely fearful, and not just fear of losing a good business deal but a primal sort of fear of the possibility of losing one’s life. “Look, I know what I saw on Abi’s face, and I’m telling you, we’re playing with fire.”

“Who play with fire?” Big Aunt snaps, looking around.

“No, not literally, Big Aunt. I just mean we’re involved in something really dangerous, and I think it’s best to put some distance between us and these people.”

“You can go,” Second Aunt says. “You and Nathan go sana, if you so worry. But I am staying here.” Her expression is so determined that I know there is no hope in hell of convincing her otherwise. And can I blame her? I of all people know exactly how it feels to finally be reunited with the love of my life. I look at Nathan and think back to that fateful day when I saw him again on the island after years of pining after him. We lock eyes, and I know he’s thinking the exact same thing. And for Second Aunt, it’s been even longer. An entire lifetime away from Abi before finally meeting him again. Of course she’s not going to let that chance slip from her fingers. What would make anyone give up a chance at true love?

I reach out and put a hand on Second Aunt’s arm. “Okay, Second Aunt. You get your man.” She giggles—actually giggles —and my heart twists because in a crazy way, this is really kind of romantic. I truly hope things work out for her and Abi this time around.

“So you two going to leave me here?” Ma says plaintively.

My insides explode in the world’s biggest groan, but I manage not to say it out loud. Trust Ma to pull the parental guilt on me. I meet Nathan’s eye and a whole unspoken conversation ping-pongs between us. What do we do? Stay? Go?

How long of a grudge will your mom have for us?

Oh, this is a forever thing. When she is old and bent over a walking stick, she’ll still be telling everyone about how we abandoned her and her sisters in Jakarta that one time.

Are we in actual danger? Because if we are, then we should still go even with the threat of a forever-grudge.

And that’s the million-dollar question: Are we in actual danger? Who knows? The point is that we’re trying to mitigate any possible threat to our safety.

A look around the room confirms that there are no answers to be found here, and despite myself, I feel my resolve crumbling. “We’ll sleep on it,” I say finally, not wanting to completely give in to them. “We won’t leave tonight, but I’m leaning on leaving tomorrow, if that’s okay with you, Ma?”

Ma sighs. “Of course is okay with me. Why not okay with me? Is okay you want to leave me behind, forget all about your mother.”

“We’re not leaving you behind,” I say through gritted teeth. “We’re literally asking you to come with us.”

“And lose face,” Ma snaps. “What we will say to everyone? They will ask so many questions.”

“We’ll sleep on it,” Nathan says in his usual firm but gentle way.

Glares zap through the room as we all agree on this uneasy truce. I know Ma is rattled because I don’t usually stand up for myself like this. The old me would’ve broken under their usual guilt trip and agreed to stay for as long as they want, but I can’t be like the old me anymore. I have to be firm, I have to draw the line somewhere and make the best decisions I can think of, and sometimes, those decisions are going to be diametrically opposed to what Ma and the aunties think is best. I remind myself of this as Nathan and I trudge out of the room, the atmosphere heavy on our shoulders. I remind myself of this throughout the rest of the day, when we spend time with the extended family and we all have to laugh and act normal around them, and I remind myself of this at night, when Nathan and I lie down in bed, our eyes wide open in the darkness, our thoughts rushing everywhere like frightened horses.

His hand finds mine under the covers. “You okay?” he whispers.

“Were they right? Was I just overreacting?”

“I don’t know. I mean, all that stuff they said about this being down to cultural differences . . . who knows, right?”

An awful thought sinks in. “Nathan, am I like my mom and aunts?”

In the silence, I can hear that Nathan’s breathing has paused. An eternity passes before he says, “In what way?”

“Oh my god, you think I’m like them.”

“What? No. Well, only the best parts.”

I frown. I’m about to press him, find out exactly in what way he thinks I’m like Ma, when I realize that’s exactly what Ma would do. Damn it. Okay, what would Ma not do? She wouldn’t let it go. She would spend the rest of the night ruminating, and then confront him for answers the following morning. And I am not going to be like that, because I am not Ma. I take a deep breath and force my muscles to relax. I think of happy sheep trundling down a meadow and jumping over a fence—no, that’s stressful. Why would they jump over a fence that’s clearly there to protect them? Nothing good’s on the other side, sheep. Okay. I take another deep breath and imagine myself in a beautiful forest, surrounded by leafy trees. Cool, this is working. As I slowly drift to sleep, I congratulate myself on successfully not turning into Ma.

But when we are shaken awake in the morning by Ma and find ourselves blinking, confused, at Ma, Big Aunt, and Fourth Aunt, all of them wearing terrified frowns, I realize that I’ve made a horrible mistake. I should have pushed them harder. I should’ve morphed into a forceful auntie myself and insisted on getting my own way. I should’ve nagged and guilted and prodded until they all packed their bags and drove to the airport. Because the first thing Ma says is: “You have to get up. Second Aunt is kidnapped.”