Journal of Rose Ingrid Castle

JOURNAL OF ROSE INGRID CASTLE

I tried to save Billy. I ran into the water, hooked my arms around his shoulders, and tried to lift him out of the water. But he was heavier than I expected. A dead weight.

“Billy?” I gently slapped his face. “Come on, Billy.”

Billy didn’t come on. He didn’t turn his head to suck in a breath or cough and splutter or gasp for air. He didn’t do anything.

I dragged him to the shore and started trying to administer CPR. I had no idea what I was doing, but I’d seen it done on television. As I tried to breathe life back into Billy, Fern stood beside me silently. When it was clear Billy wasn’t coming back, I fell onto the shore beside him, and dropped my head into my hands.

All I could think was … Fern couldn’t go to jail. She couldn’t. It was misguided, the wrong thing to do, but she’d clearly done it to protect me. She didn’t understand the consequences, not really. I needed to protect her.

“Billy was desperate to stay underwater longer than you, right?” I said, after several silent seconds. “To beat your time?”

Fern blinked in confusion.

“He dived into the water, Fern. He got tangled in the reeds. We thought he was holding his breath. By the time we realized he was in trouble, it was too late. That’s what you need to say when anyone asks you questions about this. Billy got tangled in the reeds and he drowned. Okay?”

Fern listened intently and agreed. Luckily this time she followed instructions … to the letter.