Journal of Rose Ingrid Castle

JOURNAL OF ROSE INGRID CASTLE

On the second-to-last night of our camping trip, Mum and Daniel went to bed right after dinner. “Don’t stay up too late,” they said, as they disappeared into their tent. It had been a long day of swimming, hiking, and collecting firewood, and everyone was a little worn out.

“Are we playing cards?” Billy asked the moment they were gone. He’d been getting bolder with the beer drinking and that night he’d even had one under the camp table during dinner, while Mum and Daniel were right there.

“I’m just going to rest my eyes for a minute,” Fern said. She had been the most active of everyone that day—always diving the deepest, climbing the highest, collecting the most firewood. She looked absolutely exhausted.

“I don’t think we can play cards without her,” I said.

“You’re right,” Billy agreed.

I assumed that was going to be the end of it, so I was surprised when Billy said, “We could go to the river to skim stones if you like?”

I hesitated. We weren’t supposed to leave the camp without telling Mum and Daniel. Daniel had been so adamant about it that Mum had joined in. “Did you hear that, girls? No leaving the camp without telling one of us where you are.” But if Billy was worried about getting in trouble, he hid it well.

“Rose?” Billy prompted. “Do you want to?”

Of courseI wanted to. I wanted to only slightly more than I feared getting caught. And, as it turned out, that was enough.

“Sure,” I said. “Why not?”

It was pitch black as we followed the foot-worn path through the trees toward the river with only Billy’s torch to light the way. We didn’t talk for fear of being heard, and that was fine by me. Every stick and leaf we stepped on crackled unbelievably loud. My heart was in my throat the entire way to the river, I was so worried that Mum would wake and find us missing.

“You’re shaking,” Billy said, laughing. “What is the matter?”

“Remember what Mum and Daniel said about not leaving the camp?” I whispered.

“Ah.” Billy waved his hand. “They don’t care as long as we leave them alone.”

I thought about that. On this trip, at least, that did appear to be the case. “I guess you’re right.”

He laughed again. “Usually am.”

We stopped in front of the river and started picking up stones.

“I’m glad we did this,” Billy said.

“Me too.”

“I think you’re awesome, Rose.”

I felt my cheeks turning crimson. I continued to collect stones. “Thanks. I think you’re pretty cool too.”

I snuck a look at him. He was grinning. I found myself grinning too.

“Right,” he said, standing. “Shall we skim?”

I nodded.

Billy picked a stone and lined up the arc. He shifted on the rocks so his legs were hip distance apart, and practiced the skimming motion. Then it was time for the real thing: one, two … but on three, instead of releasing the stone, he turned suddenly and kissed me full on the mouth.

The air vanished from my lungs.

It wasn’t a kiss out of the movies. Our teeth knocked. He said, “Ow.” We laughed. Billy pulled back. “Smooth, right?”

“The teeth knocking especially,” I agreed. “Did you practice that?”

“Only in my head.”

We smiled at each other. The next time he kissed me, our teeth didn’t touch. It was slower. Better.

“Rose?”

Billy and I leaped apart, blinking into the darkness. It took me a moment to recognize the voice.

“What are you doing?” Fern said.

“Just skimming stones,” Billy said, withholding a smile.

“Yeah,” I said. “Billy is hopeless.”

Fern looked at us. There was something about her expression. Fern always saw more than people thought. I had a feeling she knew exactly what we were doing. She didn’t look happy about it.

“Let’s go back to camp,” I said.

Fern waited until Billy disappeared up the track and then fell into step beside me. I waited for her to inundate me with questions, but she didn’t. She didn’t say a word. Back at the camp, Fern went straight to bed without a word and I lay awake, thinking about Billy. It wasn’t until later that I thought about the way Fern had looked at Billy down at the lake. Like she was angry. Like she hated him. It actually looked like she wanted to kill him.