Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

"I'm sorry," Josh said breathlessly. "I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Are you sure about that?"

Hugh stared at him. He moved slightly away. Every fibre of Josh's being wanted to draw him close once again. He fought valiantly to push the urge down. To be in control.

"I'm m-married," Josh stammered.

"At the risk of repeating myself," Hugh replied, "are you sure about that?"

All the upset of the last few weeks came rushing toward him at the speed of a runaway train. Sweat coursed down Josh's back.

"I…I think you should go."

Hugh seemed crestfallen. "Okay," he said. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I don't regret it. Josh, I may have only known you for five minutes, but I can see that you're a decent guy who needs a break."

Josh needed him out of the place before his tears began.

"Thank you. I?—"

Hugh put his finger to Josh's lips. Josh gasped at the touch.

"No need for words. You know where I am."

He got up and grabbed his coat. Without looking back, Hugh walked out of the room. Josh heard every footfall on the stairs. When the door slammed shut, he punched the nearest cushion.

"Shit," he said out loud.

The silence deafened him as he sat there, trying to digest what had just happened. The adrenalin forced him off the sofa. He paced the room. Of course, he felt that he'd been unfaithful to Winston. He also knew that Winston would have no such qualms if he found himself in the same situation.

Hugh's words replayed through his mind. Josh wasn't sure about anything these days. What had happened to him?

When the doorbell rang, Josh almost jumped out of his skin.

Had Hugh come to finish what they'd started? Josh found that, deep down, he wanted that.

Bounding down the stairs, he could hardly focus when he opened the door to find a young man holding up a carrier bag.

It was the food he'd ordered. Disappointment flooded through him as he took the delivery.

On autopilot he padded through to the kitchen and dumped the bag on the counter. His gaze rested on the letter still sitting on the microwave.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he said to the empty room.

With a rush of certainty that he hadn't experienced in a long time, he moved over to the microwave. With a tug, he pulled off his wedding band and placed it on top of the solicitor's letter.

Not stopping to think of the enormity of what he'd just done, he grabbed the bag of hot food and set off out of the house.

Grateful Hugh lived next door, Josh marched down his steps. If he'd had to travel any farther, he probably would have bottled it. As it stood, it only took a moment until he was pressing Jeannie's doorbell.

When Hugh opened the door, his eyes widened.

"Josh."

Josh held up the bag. "I can't eat all this on my own. Besides, I don't think either of us needs a sleepless night of worry."

Hugh's shocked face crumpled into his boyish grin that mainlined straight to Josh's crotch.

"Sounds like a good idea. Come on in."

With full bellies, they sat across the kitchen table from each other. The night had drawn in, so Hugh had lit candles. It gave the whole place a very Parisian bistro vibe. As did the excellent wine that Hugh served. Josh was feeling very comfortable for the first time in years.

"I'm glad I took a rash decision," Josh said.

"Me too."

They had skirted round things over the food. It appeared neither of them wanted to bare their souls with their mouths full. Josh was ready. He had no capacity for any more worry.

"I'm sorry for freaking out before. It just…"

"Felt weird?"

Josh nodded. He had no other word for it. He hadn't kissed anyone other than Winston for years.

But was it good weird or bad weird?

The jury remained out on that one.

"I can understand that," Hugh said. "Like I said, I'm not sorry it happened."

His directness continued to be a shock to Josh after years of decoding Winston's actions. He wasn't sure if he admired it or feared it.

"I'm not either," he said. "Truly."

Hugh sat back in his chair and took a swig from his wine. "That's good because you badly needed kissing."

Josh burst out laughing. "I need a lot of things."

"Is that right?"

The glint in Hugh's eye was enough to make Josh melt. The small kitchen had become very warm indeed.

"You know what I think you should do?" Hugh said.

"What's that?"

"Stay the night."

Josh sat straight up. Where the fuck had that come from?

"Um…"

"No sex or anything like that," Hugh cut in. "You need to share a bed with someone and I'm willing to do my neighbourly duty."

Josh took a large gulp of his wine and bought himself some time to process.

Why shouldn't I? I've rejected him once tonight. He's not going to hang around for much more. Besides, I really fucking want to.

"I didn't bring my toothbrush."

Hugh grinned. "I have a spare."

"I don't think I've ever attended a slumber party before."

Hugh clapped his hands together. "Then there should be no further delay."

He went to the fridge and got out a bottle of champagne.

"Important to keep one's fluid intake up. Grab two flutes from that cupboard there."

Josh obeyed him.

"Let's go."

With a swirling stomach, he followed Hugh up the stairs. It was a similar layout to his house with a lounge on the first floor, then up to the main bedrooms.

"Are you in Jeannie's room?"

He didn't think she would be impressed that her neighbour had slept in her bed.

"No, I've got the top floor."

What would have been the staff quarters when the houses were originally built had become the best rooms in most of the houses. The view over the rooftops of Kensington was incredible.

Madeline had knocked hers into one huge bedroom for her son, Mercury. Josh and Winston had always been meaning to create a shared office space yet they had never got round to it. It mainly housed some old pieces Josh had designed and memorabilia they had picked up on their travels.

Hugh led him into a decent-sized room that housed a huge king bed that dominated the floorspace. The wardrobes that lined the back wall were painted a dark grey, giving the whole place a cosy vibe. He peered through to a gorgeous en-suite with bath and walk-in shower. All black and white tiles and porcelain.

He had to hand it to her, Jeannie had exquisite taste.

"Nice," he said. "I had great plans of what to do with mine when I first moved in. You know how it is, life gets in the way."

Stop babbling, idiot.

Hugh rummaged in a drawer and pulled out some light blue cotton pyjamas.

"Here," he said, throwing them to Josh. "Hurry up and get changed. I've got plans for you."

Half an hour later a giggling Josh was trying to drink champagne whilst wearing what appeared to be plastic bags on his hands.

"Don't laugh," Hugh urged. "You'll crack your face."

Once he'd come out of the bathroom, Josh had been pounced on by Hugh who had proceeded to pile all sorts of goo on his face and in his hair before slapping these mitts on him.

"What do these do again?"

"Soften your hands."

"Do I need soft hands?"

Hugh took a sip of his champagne. "I do. It's an occupational hazard. Sausage fingers are a no-no with fake diamonds."

They were sitting side by side on the floor against the wardrobes.

"You haven't said much about your work," Josh said.

Hugh flinched. "Bit of a sore point at the moment."

Josh realised that Hugh had his own personal troubles and Josh had not once showed any concern.

"You can talk to me."

Hugh sighed. "I don't know. I've worked for almost twenty years perfecting my act. To be called out like that on national television. Bigger careers than mine have been runed."

Josh frowned, causing a lump of unidentified substance to fall off.

"Hey," Hugh said. "Keep the facial expressions to a minimum, please."

"Go on."

"Me and Michael were talking earlier. What we need are new characters. We'll do the tour as a farewell and rebirth. They will have to be bloody shit-hot."

That was quite the gamble. After the furore of the chat show, all eyes would be on them. He admired their balls.

"Any ideas?"

A wry smile crept on Hugh's face, causing a miniature landslide.

"Ha!" Josh exclaimed. "Broke you."

"Curses," Hugh replied before throwing the lump at Josh. "In answer to your question, I've got an idea. I think it's best kept to myself for now."

"Intriguing."

Hugh laughed, causing more of his face pack to dislodge.

"I think it's time we got this shit off."

Josh opened his eyes. For a second, he panicked that he wasn't in his own bed. Then he remembered where he was.

"At last," Hugh said, making him jump.

Josh scrambled up in bed to find Hugh lying on the floor reading a magazine.

"How long have you been up?"

"About an hour. I don't have time to lie in. I've got to find a drag character and quick."

Josh rubbed his eyes then squinted at the magazine. It was one of the gossip rags. Hugh had it open on a double page feature on Madeline.

"I hope you're not looking in that direction for inspiration," he said.

He plumped the pillows up. When he got comfortable, he found Hugh staring at him in an unsettling way.

"What?" Josh said. "You're not…"

"Not a carbon copy," Hugh replied, getting up and jumping on the bed. "You have to admit. She's pretty bloody rich in possibilities."

Unease crept up Josh's neck.

"I'm not sure she'd welcome that, Hugh. Madeline is known for getting a bee in her bonnet at the slightest provocation."

Hugh shrugged and stared down at the magazine. Josh marvelled at how adorable he looked in a pair of blush-pink pyjamas, his blond hair tousled from sleep.

"I'm only after an essence of her. She can't complain. Her whole life is up for public consumption."

Josh raised an eyebrow. "You'd be surprised. That's what she wants you to think."

Hugh's eyes widened. "Tell me more."

"Not a chance," Josh replied. "There will be no secrets shared from me. I'm her friend."

"Fair enough. Can't blame a boy for trying."

Josh realised how he'd missed simply sitting and chatting with someone like this. His life had consisted of visits that had to be borne before he returned to his solitude.

"You okay?" Hugh asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Thank you. For all this."

Hugh's face lit up. "You're welcome. The first of many, I hope."

Josh gazed into his eyes. Every part of him wanted to trust Hugh. Something about being with him felt right.

"Me too."

The moment passed and Hugh stretched. "I've got to get moving soon."

"Oh, I was going to buy you breakfast at the Bluebird."

"That would be amazing but I'm meeting Michael. We're going to Brighton for the weekend. Gotta pay the bills. Plus, we're going to be in search for a second character for Michael."

It got worse. Josh could entertain the slight possibility that Madeline would find a drag alter ego flattering. Once she found out the character they were pairing her with had been dreamt up in the clubs of Brighton, she would go crazy. Although the comedy potential couldn't be ignored.

Then his smile dropped. Hugh would probably be on the pull in Brighton too. Not that Josh had any right to complain. Yet, it still bothered him.

"What's up? You look like you lost a dollar and found a cent."

Josh beamed. "Sorry. I was thinking how fired up you are about this. I think I've missed that in my life."

Hugh frowned. "Last time I checked you have a successful fashion label and shares in a boutique."

Josh raised an eyebrow. "You have done your homework."

"I'm a frustrated private eye."

He had a point.

"I'm going to call my assistant today and tell her I'll be in on Monday."

Hugh clapped him on the shoulder. "That's the spirit."

The touch sent a shockwave through Josh's system.

Why can't I pull him close and do what I'm dying to?

It wasn't the time and Josh had no doubt about that. Yet, it was coming.