Epilogue

Nevaeh

I hug my sister gently, scared I’ll hurt her if I squeeze any harder.

“I’m not ready to let you go,” I admit. My stomach feels like it’s full of rocks.

She pulls back and looks at me. “You built a life here. If I had what you do, you’d have to break my hands to tear me away from it.”

“But I just got you back,” I cry.

“You can come visit me whenever you want.”

I nod, knowing I’m supposed to be the brave one here.

“I’d stay, but I’m not strong enough yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be. I need time to heal. There is so much that I don’t know or understand.” She hugs herself.

I feel Havoc step up behind me. He has a sleeping Star in his arms. They’ve bonded over the last few weeks after we took Star home with us.

“You are stronger than you realize, Citi. I know grown men who couldn’t survive what you have. You take all the time you need, and we’ll be here whenever you need us. We’re not going anywhere.”

Citi’s eyes fall on her daughter. “She loves you.”

“She’s an easy kid to love, just like her mama.”

He moves around me and kisses Citi’s forehead before walking past her to where my father’s car is. My dad opens the door so Havoc can put Star in the car seat. I watch my dad, who almost had a heart attack when I returned safe and sound and with my sister in tow.

Amity steps up to Citi and gently takes her hand. “It won’t be easy. In fact, this is going to be hard as fuck. But it’s far from the hardest thing you’ve done.”

I think about the mass grave Jasper buried each of Citi’s babies in because they were boys and he only wanted girls. No, she’s already survived the worst. She would survive this, too.

“I love you.” I reach out and take her other hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I love you too.” She looks at Amity. “Thank you for taking care of her.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that. Look after yourself okay, and don’t be a stranger.”

Citi gives her a small smile, before releasing her hand and taking my other one.

“I’m going to call you so much you’ll be sick of me,” I warn her,

“Never.”

We stare at each other for a moment, two pieces of the same puzzle finally finding their way to each other, only to find that one piece has been so damaged it doesn’t fit the way it used to anymore. In many ways, the Citi I knew is gone, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love this version just as much.

She rests her forehead against mine for a minute before she lets go of my hands and takes a step back. With a quick smile, she turns and walks toward the car, pausing when she sees Ambros. As our new prospect, he watches her from his spot at the gate. She walks over to him, keeping a little distance between them.

I look away, giving them the illusion of privacy as my dad heads my way. He stops before me, looking like he’s aged ten years in two weeks.

He twists his hands together as tears fill his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so goddamn sorry, Nevaeh.”

“Daddy,” I whisper and step into his embrace. I try to hold it together, but it’s impossible with his tears soaking through my shirt.

I don’t know if we’ll ever have the relationship I hoped for, but I wouldn’t be here at all if he hadn’t saved me from Driller. In the end, his love for me won out. We might never be what we could have been, but the pain that usually accompanies that thought isn’t there anymore. I love him. He loves me, and right now, that’s enough.

He pulls back and cups my face, his thumbs swiping over my cheeks. “Be safe.”

“I will. Besides, these guys have my back.”

“They do, don’t they?” He gives me a sad smile before he steps back.

He walks backward for a few minutes, neither of us willing to look away. Havoc steps up beside him. My dad holds out his hand to him, and Havoc shakes it.

Walking over to me, Havoc pulls me to his side and holds me to him as my dad gets in the driver’s seat. My dad waits for Citi, who waves at Ambros before climbing into the passenger side. She turns to me once she is strapped in and presses her hand to the glass. I hold mine up to her and bite my lip to keep my tears at bay.

I could go home with her for a while and we could spend some time together, helping each other heal, but that’s not what she needs right now. I need to let her breathe, or I’ll choke the rest of her will to live out of her.

“She’ll be okay.”

“I know. I just wish there was more I could do.”

“I don’t like feeling helpless any more than you do, but Citi needs to take these next few steps on her own.”

I turn into him, slipping my arms around his waist, and breathe him in. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming for me, for loving me, for not giving up on me. I could go on.”

“I have time.”

I pinch him, making him chuckle.

His fingers slide under my chin and tip my head back. “I will always come for you. If I couldn’t ride, I’d walk. If I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl. Nothing would stop me from reaching you.”

He kisses me gently before pulling back when Amity nudges my side. “You okay?”

I nod and sigh. “I’m hanging in there.”

She reaches over and squeezes my shoulder. “Good.”

G walks out of the warehouse, and when he sees Amity with us he heads over. “You ready?”

Amity groans. “As I’ll ever be.” She looks at me when I frown. “It’s our turn to amuse Probe.”

I grin, knowing the man has been going stir-crazy since he woke up, and he’s driving everyone nuts in the process. I’m just glad he’s okay.

I wait until they’re gone before turning back to Havoc. Time to rip off the Band-Aid.

“I need to talk to you about Lola.”

“Not right now.”

“You said that the last time I mentioned her, but this is important, Havoc.”

He stares at me for a moment, his jaw tight, before he nods and takes my hand. “Let’s take a walk.”

I don’t say anything until we’ve put a little distance between us and the clubhouse.

When we come across the remains of a fallen tree, Havoc puts his hands around my waist and lifts me up onto the trunk.

He leans into me. “Okay talk.”

I grip the front of his cut and consider my words, but the truth is, there is no way to say this.

“Driller said something to me.”

“He’s in a coma now, Cupcake. The second that changes, he’s a dead man. He won’t hurt you again.” And I know he’ll lose no sleep over it, even though Driller’s his brother.

“I’m not worried about me.” I blow out a frustrated breath. “God, this is hard.”

“Whatever it is, you can tell me. It changes nothing.”

I reach up and cup his jaw, feeling tears prick my eyes. “No, Havoc, it changes everything.”

I kiss him, pouring everything I am, everything I feel into it, anchoring him to me before I pull back.

“Driller raped Lola,” I blurt out.

His eyes close, his shoulders drop as he presses in closer. “I want to say I’m shocked, but I’m not. How can I be? I just don’t understand what she saw in him in the first place. They were never friends. She acted as though she hated him when we were together.”

I swallow, realizing he’s not getting it. “She did hate him. She does. She never chose him over you, Havoc. He took her.” My words settle around us, freezing the air as if the universe is holding its breath.

His eyes fly to mine as understanding dawns. He shoves away from me. “No. I would have known. Someone would have told me.”

I don’t say anything; I just watch and wait as everything falls into place.

He roars, pulling back his fist and punching the trunk of the tree, splitting his knuckles open. I reach for his hand and hold on tight, feeling him shake with rage beneath my touch.

“She should have told me. Why didn’t she tell me?” He whispers, looking lost.

“I don’t know Havoc.”

His hands move to my hips, yanking me to him as I wrap my arms around him.

“I need to talk to her.”

“Yeah, I think you do.”

“Driller could have been messing with you.”

“He could have. He wanted to scare me.” But I don’t think he was lying, not about this.

“Oh fuck, Nevaeh, what did I do?”

I close my eyes and try to absorb some of his pain.

“Nothing is ever black and white, Havoc. You didn’t know.”

He sighs and lifts his head, kissing me urgently before whispering against my lips.

“I’ll call Hannibal and arrange for a visit. You’ll come with me?”

“Of course. We’ll deal with this together like we do everything.”

“Fuck, I love you.”

I feel that knot of worry unfurl inside me. We’ll be okay as long as we have each other.

“Good, because I love you too.”