Chapter 24

Rico

I turn my music up and do my best to ignore my teammates as I focus on my pregame ritual. In just a few minutes, we'll take the ice. My stomach knots like it's my first game, but the nerves are not for hockey. Not tonight. Tonight is about so much more than hockey; it's about the rest of my life. I mentally berate myself. Dramatic much? Still, I haven't been able to stop thinking about this game for the last two weeks. I haven't seen Amber since we talked, and it's killing me. But I promised I'd give her time to think about it—about us. I only hope that by giving her time, I didn't give her what she needed to talk herself out of us. I'm convinced there's a future for us; I just have to get her on board.

Somebody elbows me hard. "Yo!"

I pull off my headphones, realizing I was missing Coach's speech. Seb gives me a look that I ignore. Minutes later, we're hyped and ready to head out. My heart starts racing like it usually does before a game, only this time it's much worse. I skate out onto the ice for warm-up. I don't look at the stands; I can't afford to. I need to focus on this game. Yeah, that only lasts a few minutes before my traitorous eyes are scanning the crowd. I find Stephanie and Brielle, only because I know where they usually sit. My heart twists when I don't see Amber with them. I didn't tell either of them that Chloe got Amber a ticket next to them. I didn't want either of them to pressure Amber into coming. If she comes tonight, it's because she is choosing me. Choosing us.

Our warm-up concludes, and we head back. I cast one last glance at the seats. No Amber. She's got time, I remind myself. The next time we skate out onto the ice, it's with lights flashing, music thumping, and thunderous applause rocking the stadium. I wave to the crowd and head to my spot. I go through my pre-game ritual. Only when I'm settled do I chance a glance. It hits like a fist to my gut. She's not here. I remind myself that she just might not be here yet.

"Hey!" Sebastian shouts, stopping on a dime in front of me and spraying me with ice. "You good?"

I nod behind my helmet. "I'm locked in; let's go." He fist bumps me and skates away. Aiden heads to the center, and I settle into that place I go when it's game time. Total and complete focus on the puck. This right now is what matters; I'll deal with my personal life later. Right now, my teammates need me.

The buzzer sounds for the end of the first period. We kept them to one goal, and we scored one as well. I'm kicking myself, though, because I should have had that one. I push my helmet back and chug a bunch of water. Only then do I let my gaze travel to the seats. I see Bri and Stephanie but no Amber. I still let myself hold onto the hope that she might still be coming. I follow my teammates off the ice.

Sebastian meets me at the door. "What's up with you tonight?"

"Nothing." I keep my face perfectly blank as I pass him to go into our locker room. Coach talks through the next period, and then we're back on the ice. I tell myself not to look, but it's a losing battle. She's not coming. I skate over to the net and settle. One period and two scores later, I head back to the locker-room. It's three to two, their lead. I shove past Sebastian when he tries to talk to me in the hall. I'm not in the mood. Coach does his thing, yelling at us and then trying to pump us up. Then it's back out onto the ice. Usually, the third period is when I feel the most alive. The nerves from the beginning of the game have long-since dissipated, and now it's just grit and determination. Tonight, I need extra grit and extra determination.

The buzzer sounds. I look up at the final score. Five to six, our loss. I swear to myself. I haven't let a team score six goals on me since I was a rookie. Feeling more angry than I have in a long time, I wait a few minutes before heading back, ignoring the booing and name calling coming from our fans. I deserve it, all of it. It was a terrible game, the worst I've played in a long time. I finally head back to the locker room.

"Good of you to join us, Garcia."

I stalk over to the bench and drop as Coach reams every single one of us out. "And Garcia, did you forget how to defend the goal? You do realize your job is to keep the puck out of the net, right? Play like that again, and Jerguson will take your place." I don't lift my head, and I definitely don't look at the hothead who's been waiting for a chance to take my place. I scoff. Like I'd ever let him take my place. Coach goes on forever before he finally leaves us. I stand up and strip off all my pads. I throw off my shirt and turn around to head to the showers. Gunner stops my progress. I move to step around him, but he moves with me. "I'm heading to the showers. Move."

"No, you're not. Sit down." Aiden comes over and joins him.

"Really? I played terrible. I get it. I want to hit the showers and head home."

"Head home or go see Amber?" Sebastian asks, joining in.

Her name is like a knife to my chest, but I'm not talking to these guys about it. I walk forward, intending to push through them. Aiden and Gunner close off my path and stand shoulder to shoulder. "Seriously?"

"It's Amber," Sebastian says to Gunner and Aiden. Like he has a clue what he's talking about. " Amber's the only one that has the power to fluster him like that; he's usually Mr. Calm. Only Amber could get that kind of response out of him."

"Stop saying her name," I grind out, and Sebastian has the audacity to grin. I scowl and turn away.

"What happened?" Gunner asks.

"Nothing."

"Wrong answer," he says.

"Nothing," I repeat. I lock my jaw and run my hand over it. "She was supposed to show up tonight if she wanted to move forward with things. She didn't show; she's obviously not interested." I lift my eyebrows. "That good enough for you?"

Sebastian's shoulders drop. "I'm sorry, Man. I really thought—"

"Please don't," I cut him off. "Are we done here?"

Wordlessly, Gunner and Aiden part, so I can head to the showers. I put my headphones on as soon as I finish in the shower, so I don't have to deal with anyone. I just want to go home and block the world out for a little while. The three of them are still here when I get out, but they keep their distance. I wave as I leave and head outside. The downpour matches the mood I'm in. It's slow-going between the left-over traffic from the game and the rain. By the time I turn onto my street, my attitude matches the storm. I pull up in front of my house and blink as my headlights hit something or someone sitting on the front porch. I throw my door open and step out into the rain and run up to the porch to where a soaked Amber is sitting and shivering. "Sweetheart, what are you doing out here?" I squat in front of her and run my hands over her arms. I put my hands under her arms and pull her to her feet and grab my keys from my pocket. I carefully maneuver us, keeping my hold on her and opening the front door. I get us inside and close the door behind us, shutting out the rain. I quickly flip on the lights and turn to her. Her teeth are chattering, and her entire body is shaking. "Come on." I put my hand on her back and propel her through my living room.

"I'm going to g-get everything all w-wet."

Her drenched to the bone and freezing cold is making my anger even worse. "It's fine." I take her right into my room and into the bathroom. I've got the nicest shower in my room. I leave her next to the counter and start the shower before grabbing two towels from the closet as well as a pair of my sweatpants and a sweatshirt. "These are going to be huge on you, but I'll dry your clothes while you're in the shower. Just throw them in a pile outside the door, and I'll grab them." I turn back to her and take in her pale face, hair plastered to her head. The sweatshirt she's wearing could ring water out of it. "Here." I help her begin to get out of the sweatshirt, being careful of her baby bump. When I pull the sweatshirt from her head and drop it to the ground next to us, the air is knocked from my lungs. She's wearing my number, my jersey. My eyes meet hers. "Amber?"

She shakes her head. "I was on my way to the game. I wanted to be there, but my stupid car broke down. By the time I got somebody to tow it, I couldn't get an Uber, so I finally just walked here. I'm so sorry I missed the game."

I wave her off. "I don't care about that. You walked here? From where?"

"Somewhere off of 16 th Street."

I stare at her, thunderstruck. "Sweetheart, that's a couple of miles from here."

"I know." Her eyes tear up, and I think it's going to kill me. "I'm so sorry, Rico. I wanted to be there. I got this so you would know I wanted to go forward, and then I missed the game. Now everything's awful." I can't take it another minute. I pull her into my arms. "I'm all wet." Her voice is muffled against my chest.

"I don't care." I breathe her in and something inside me settles. I want to hold her for the rest of the night, but when she shivers again, I immediately let her go. "Get a warm shower and then we'll talk." She moves to turn away, but I stop her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Thank you."

"For making a mess all over your floor?" she asks with a self-deprecating smile.

"No, for choosing us." I lean forward and give her a soft kiss on her forehead. I don't miss her sigh, and something turns over inside me. I step back, putting space between us, space I desperately need if I'm going to keep my hands off her. "You get warm; I'll go make some tea."

"You drink tea?" she asks in surprise.

I give her a guilty smile. "I bought some in case you ever came over."

She gives me a small smile and shoos me out of the bathroom. I leave, pushing away thoughts of Amber in my shower. I take a deep breath. I probably should have just sent her to one of the other showers, but I just couldn't do it. I stride towards the kitchen to make a hot cup of tea and see what else I have that I can pull together to make for us to eat. I'm not sure how hungry she is, but I'm suddenly starving. It's as if my body just remembered that I finished playing a full hockey game not too long ago.

I start boiling some hot water and then start digging through my fridge. I pull out a pack of chicken and stuff to make a salad. I hear a knock on the front door and frown before heading that way. I don't think it's my mom; she wouldn't knock. Well, unless she saw me bring Amber home.

I open the door to see Sebastian, Aiden, and Gunner standing there with bags of food.