9. Rainer

9

RAINER

I t was official. The king had assigned Rainer the most difficult task in the kingdom to prove his worth. What Rainer expected to be a simple guard assignment had turned into chaos. Lady Reznik was more wild woman than lady. He was beginning to understand why the king didn't like her going outside. The snow between the castle and the tree in which she perched was specked with bright red blood.

Rainer approached the tree where she was waiting, bow in hand. They were beyond the wards that kept out the gods and that meant Lady Reznik was at risk. Rainer still didn't have clarity as to what exactly the gods had done to aid the rebellion, but he'd read enough histories to know that the gods loved to meddle in human affairs. He glanced back at the courtyard walls where the line of protection around the castle ended. His heart kicked up.

He turned his attention back to his charge. Lady Reznik clung to the trunk of the tree high above, grinning down at Rainer. Her eyes were bright even in the fading daylight. When she smiled at him, he felt a rushing sensation in his chest.

She gazed out at the horizon as if looking for something. Maybe she felt as on edge as he had since the rebellion and she was looking for danger. At the moment, however, she was the only pressing danger to her own well-being.

"Please come down from there, Lady Reznik. There are no more guards coming. The king sent me instead."

"Please call me Cece." She made it sound as if he was being the exasperating one and not the other way around.

"Please come down from there, Lady Reznik," he repeated through gritted teeth.

"Why don't you come up? The view is spectacular," she said, still squinting into the distance.

Rainer placed a hand against the trunk, trying to position himself so he could break her fall if she slipped. "Because I'm not sure this tree could bear both of us."

She leaned forward, putting too much weight on a branch that looked as perilously close to snapping as Rainer's nerves. Then she grinned and shifted back to grip the trunk of the tree.

"Fine. But make sure you're in good position to get a nice view of my ass as I climb down," she said as she turned and hooked her bow across her body to descend the tree. "Perhaps the view will stop you from being such a fun-sucker all the time."

Rainer had tried very hard not to notice the way the tight black pants clung to her backside, but now that she'd called attention to it, he couldn't look away. His heart leapt into his throat as he watched her slip and then regain her footing. Once he saw she was sure-footed, his eyes were indeed glued to her ass.

She fumbled for her grip when she was just a foot off of the ground and stumbled into his arms. He caught her and she grinned at him.

"So gallant."

He quickly set her on her feet. "You'll go back inside now?" He meant for it to sound more commanding, but it came out like a plea.

"I'll do no such thing. What an absolutely preposterous suggestion. It's a beautiful evening," she said, the puffy white cloud of her breath brushing over his cheek.

"It's freezing and you don't have a cloak," Rainer griped .

"I'd be happy to keep you warm," she said, winking at him.

"Are you always this?—"

"Charming? Adventurous? Exhilarating?"

"Maddening."

"I suppose madness is in the eye of the beholder." She tossed her bow and quiver aside, plopped down in the snow, and stretched her arms and legs wide, sweeping them up and down as if swimming in the snow.

"You'll catch your death," Rainer said.

Lady Reznik was awfully free-spirited for a lady of the court, and especially for a queen. Vincent was so stern, it was hard to imagine the two of them happy together. Harder even to imagine how they'd ended up together.

"Oh, relax. Lay down here. You'll see what I mean," she said, patting the snow next to her.

"If I lay down, will you come inside?" Rainer asked.

"We can certainly discuss it. Lay down."

"No."

"Don't be such a fun-sucker," she sighed, flopping back in the snow.

"You keep calling me that. What is a fun-sucker?"

"Someone who sucks the fun out of all situations with his handsome brooding."

He hesitated. He couldn't remember a time when he'd seen snow, though that didn't mean he never had. A sort of childlike wonder had grown in him when he watched the storm through the window the previous night, observing the whorls of snow whip through the castle courtyard.

Rainer didn't want to lay down in the snow and be cold and wet, but he needed to get her safely inside.

"You're overthinking it," she said. "This is a win-win. You get to lay down and relax for a moment and when I get up there's going to be a perfect imprint of my ass in the snow for you to gawk at."

The snow crunched as Rainer laid down next to her. "You are so crude. "

"Yes, but I'm also fun."

"Your kind of fun is the kind that ends in everyone else getting in trouble."

She shrugged. "I'm sure I'll be in plenty of trouble myself."

A comfortable silence stretched out between them. The fresh snow seemed to muddle all sound in the forest behind them. Court life was so loud, but here it was almost soothing, even with the wet snow melting into his pants. A breeze swept through the trees behind them, making the branches groan with the effort of moving while weighed down with heavy snow.

"I've only seen snow a few times in my life and when I have, I've never been able to stop and enjoy it," she said. "It smells so fresh, like it's sharpened the scent of these pines. Even the sky seems clearer now."

It was beautiful now that the sun had given way to darkness and the sky was scattered with stars.

"We should be getting back—" Rainer started.

"Rainer—"

"Guardian McKay."

" Rainer , you worry too much. A few more minutes won't matter. I'm already in trouble. Let me have another minute before I go back in there."

"Why do you seem so unhappy?" Rainer asked.

"Because I am." Lady Reznik hesitated, clearly trying to figure out what she could say. "I lost someone dear to me."

Rainer went still. "In the rebel attack?"

"Yes." She held up her hand, her gaze fixed to the ring on her finger.

"I'm very sorry," Rainer said. "Is he the one who gave you that ring?"

"Yes. It was my mother's ring. It means a lot to me. So I kept it even when the king?—"

"Even when the king asked you to marry him," Rainer finished for her. "What was he like? The man you lost?"

She smiled sadly. "My fiancé was kind and thoughtful. He could be incredibly stubborn. I had to basically force him to face his feelings, but once he did, he was a dream come true. My best friend, the steadiest person I've ever known. He was an incredible fighter, but he didn't have the heart for it. He was too sweet for this world. Also too much of a martyr."

Recognition tore through Rainer. "He saved you."

Her lips pressed into a grim line. "He did."

Rainer couldn't remember ever being in love, but he was certain if he cared about someone like that he'd happily lay down his life to protect them. "I doubt he'd regret it."

"I don't think he thought about the fact that I would . That was his thing. Always making decisions for me," she sighed, her eyes lit with pain and anger. She was so mercurial.

Rainer swallowed hard. "I lost someone too."

Lady Reznik's eyebrows shot up. "Oh?"

"My witch."

She pursed her lips. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Rainer huffed a sigh. "Might be harder if I remembered her."

"It will come back. Memory is a strange and complicated thing and grief can make us more hesitant to recall what we have forgotten." She glanced at the bow she'd cast aside. "Until today, I hadn't shot a bow in more than a year."

If that was true, her skill was remarkable. Rainer's curiosity got the better of him. "Why?"

"Originally, I thought I was just tired of violence, but the truth is that I think of my late father every time I touch a bow. I swear I can still hear him critiquing my form." She brought a hand to her heart.

"When did he pass?" Rainer asked.

"It's been nearly two years, but it still takes the air out of me at the strangest times, over the simplest things."

"You were close?" He was no longer just making conversation to get her to go along with his plans. He truly wanted to know about her.

She paused as if struggling for words. "Yes, we were very close. I was his only child, and he was very good to me. He cultivated my curiosity and my fighting skills, but most of all, my skill with a bow."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Rainer said. Too late. He was always a beat or two off with her—always a little bit disoriented.

She smiled faintly. "Thank you."

"What would he say if he were here?" Rainer asked.

"That is a very good question. He'd probably say something about how I hunt down trouble like it owes me a debt. Then he'd remind me who I am and who trained me and to stop being—" She sighed. "He'd tell me to stop being so hard on myself."

"He sounds like a good man."

"He was." Her smile was strained. "Grief is a strange thing. At times it seems distant, but it's always waiting to pounce in moments of weakness, like a starved beast perking its head up at the prospect of being fed."

That beautiful smile of hers that made his heart race was really just a shield behind which she hid all the things that hurt her most. Somehow, he seemed to feel the pain and grief that lived in her heart just by looking into her eyes. He'd never felt anything so intense as the strange rush of emotions that blew through her like fierce storms coming down from the Argas Mountains.

Her eyes told stories that didn't have a beginning or an end. They went on and on and he didn't know half the words. He felt like he was trying to translate some coded message without a cipher, but he wanted so badly to know exactly what it all meant.

"Why did you hurt the king's men?" Rainer asked.

Her brows pinched together. "Because they were trying to retrieve me and I wished to be free."

"You hurt them."

She waved a hand. "Flesh wounds. I'm an excellent shot." She glanced toward the heavens. "Look."

The evening was so dark, some of the stars even seemed to have their own distinct colors. Rainer had never noticed that before.

"See. If we'd gone inside, we would have missed this," she whispered. "Let me tell you a story?— "

"We don't have time for that."

She blew out a breath. "Don't be ridiculous. There's always time for a story. This is a good one. It's about a spirited young lady and a grumpy old guardian. They sprawled out in the snow, looking up at a night sky that was sugared with stars."

" Sugared with stars ?" Rainer said skeptically.

"You mustn't interrupt," she chided. "I'm telling the story and I reserve the right to take poetic license."

Rainer smothered a smile as she continued.

It was a beautiful night. A restless feeling stirred in his chest when he noticed her studying him out of the corner of her eye as she spoke.

Rainer counted the stars, trying to place them in constellations though even in his memory constellations contained holes. Her tale reminded him of the story that had led him out of the dark of his mind, and the voice whispering it to him as he tried to wake. He was told it had been Eloise's voice, but she sounded so different now that he was awake.

A falling star shot across the sky.

Lady Reznik gasped. "Did you see that? We get to make a wish. Here, let's do it together."

Without asking, she grabbed his hand and squeezed her eyes shut. Her skin was cold and soft except for the calluses on her fingers. Her hand felt so delicate in his. Sadness sank in his chest before it lifted and warmed as if he were lying in sunlight on a hot day.

Rainer mimicked her, closing his eyes to concentrate. He had no context for making a wish because he didn't remember who he was enough to want something other than his memory.

When he blinked his eyes open and looked at Lady Reznik, her face was unreadable again.

"Make a wish. Don't just humor me," she sighed.

"I wish you'd behave yourself and not sneak out of your rooms to play target practice with the king's men. I wish you weren't such a pain in the ass to keep track of. I wish you'd do one thing I ask without argument. I wish you'd stop calling me a fun-sucker. "

"That is a wish only you can grant," she countered. For the first time, her shoulders relaxed.

"We should go in. It's getting dark and it's very cold, Lady Reznik."

" Cece ."

"It would be inappropriate for me to be so informal."

She rolled her eyes and looked back at the sky.

"Will you go inside now?"

She let out a belabored groan. "I suppose, but only for you, Rain."

He bristled at the nickname as she stood, brushing snow from her pants. She helped him up and grabbed her bow and quiver. She turned to make the trek back to the castle.

A hunter in scarlet—Savero rebel regalia—darted out from behind a tree to her right. He swiped at her with his sword. Rainer's heart jumped into his throat as she threw her bow up to block the blow. She spun away, brandishing an arrow from her quiver as a makeshift weapon.

Rainer was frozen in fear and confusion, scanning the tree line for any other attackers.

The man swiped at her and she blocked again, slashing his arm with the arrow.

She fought well. She was fast, practiced, smart. She knew how to use her speed to make up for the disadvantage of her size. Her moves were taunting until she slipped in the snow and the man caught her across the stomach.

Pain lanced through Rainer as she crumpled in the snow. Prince Xander darted out of the tree line to Rainer's right and drove his blade through the man's chest and the guard collapsed into the snow.

Panic raced through Rainer's blood as he knelt beside Cecilia. The prince stood over them, checking the woods for any other threat.

Rainer pressed his hands to her stomach. "Lady Reznik?—"

"Will you at least call me Cecilia?" she asked.

"Cecilia."

She smiled weakly, wincing as he pressed his palms to her bloody shirt. "Finally. Don't fuss now. It's a flesh wound." She glanced over Rainer's shoulder. "Is all well, Xan? "

The prince nodded. "All quiet out there."

Of course. The prince had hunter's hearing. So why, then, had he waited to come to their aid until after the man had wounded Lady Reznik? Suspicion snaked through Rainer's chest.

Xander Savero did not seem like a power-hungry person. Rainer knew the type, having been raised by Raymond McKay. But the prince seemed content to blend in. Still, it was a bit too convenient that he'd appeared just in time to play hero against a rebel who wanted him on the throne.

Perhaps it was just an elaborate setup to convince Rainer to trust him. If so, it had failed.

Blood seeped from the ragged cut in Cecilia's stomach, turning the snow beneath her pink.

"You need to take me to the healer," she said.

Rainer stared at her. "You can't do it yourself?"

Vincent said she was an incredibly powerful witch. She should have made easy work of the wound.

She held up her wrist, which bore a silver bracelet that looked more manacle than jewelry. "It's an Unsummoner bracelet."

"Why?"

Her lips parted, then closed, and she cleared her throat. "I sleepwalk." As if that explained everything. Her eyes fluttered closed and she winced.

Rainer hooked an arm around her shoulders and one under her knees and scooped her out of the snow, casting one last suspicious glance at Xander. The prince trailed behind Rainer as he carried Cecilia back to the castle and into the healer's lounge.

Magdalena greeted them. "Guardian McKay, it's good to see you on your feet again. Who do you have there?"

Cecilia turned her head and smiled at the woman weakly. "Hi Mags."

Magdalena tutted and nodded to a cot. Rainer laid Cecilia on the bed. He stood to leave, but Cecilia grabbed his hand.

"Stay with me," she pleaded.

When he saw her eyes, he realized for the first time that she was shaking from fear and not the cold. Her terror chilled his blood as if it were his own. This much empathy wasn't healthy. But for some reason, he could not seem to block it.

He sat down next to her, allowing her to hold his hand. But when the healer lifted her tunic, he stood abruptly and excused himself, leaving a frowning Xander to sit with her.

It was just her stomach, but it wasn't appropriate for the king's guard to see so much of the future queen.

She belongs to Vincent . The thought chafed. Her independence seemed larger than life—it felt more like she belonged to herself.

He rounded the corner, heading toward the training rooms to blow off some steam before bed, but instead came face to face with Grant and King Vincent.

Grant's assessing eyes burned into him, as if he could read that Rainer had seen more of the future queen than he should have.

Rainer bowed. "Your Grace."

"I hear you were successful in getting my betrothed to stop maiming my guards and come inside. You really seem to have a way with her," Vincent said.

Rainer fought off a smile. "If I have a way with her, Your Majesty, I'd hate to see what it looks like for someone who doesn't."

King Vincent chuckled. "She is a complicated woman indeed."

"I think she just needs a bit more time to adjust," Rainer said. Right away he knew it was the wrong thing to say.

Vincent's face grew serious and Grant's eyebrows shot up.

"Rainer, I, of all people, understand how charming my Cecilia can be, but do not let her trick you into thinking she's not an exceptionally strong woman," the king said. "She needs to be met with an equally strong partner. If you coddle her, she will continue to act out."

Anxiety buzzed in Rainer's chest. His fingers itched for something to carve to burn away the stress. He was grateful Vincent had reminded him that carving quieted his mind. He supposed Cecilia was right when she said his body might remember things even if his mind didn't, because he'd been whittling away at a new carving and it was starting to resemble the finished star flowers he'd found in his nightstand.

He wondered if the king would punish Cecilia for acting out and hurting so many guards. Rainer couldn't afford to care. She'd hurt people and stirred up trouble when the court desperately needed stability.

Still, something about the suddenness of her little rebellion struck Rainer as odd. If she was a good enough shot to maim the guards in spots that would hurt and disarm them, but not seriously wound them, she could have hit them as soon as they'd made it a few feet from the courtyard walls. Instead, she'd let them get closer. Almost as if she was trying to draw them away. It didn't make sense.

Rainer rubbed a hand over his face. His lack of memory had made him suspicious of everyone and that kind of paranoia would be just as dangerous as being relaxed around her. "I take full responsibility for her behavior today?—"

"Why would you do that?" Vincent asked, patting him on the shoulder. "You weren't assigned to watch her at the time, though I think perhaps you should be going forward since she didn't use you for her target practice."

Rainer was certain that was a bad idea. He was too easily swayed by her, eternally on his heels.

Vincent's face softened and he squeezed Rainer's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself. Don't worry so much. I have big plans for you."

That should have felt comforting, but Rainer only felt a surge of anxiety that he'd somehow fall short of such expectations.