Chapter 14

In a matter of seconds her entire life had changed.

Sadina sat next to her mom and squeezed her hand tight. She went from hating the people at the Villa to hoping they could save her mom. For the first time, she understood just a tiny amount of what it must have felt like when Newt and Sonya were pulled away from their families—except unlike them, Sadina would remember every painful thing. She couldn't help but look at the scarf that covered her mom's rash.

"It doesn't hurt," her mom offered without prompting. Sadina had so many questions, but deep down she knew they weren't worth asking because there were no answers. How had her mom gotten sick? Why wasn't she immune? And then something worse crept into her mind. Doubt. If her mom wasn't immune, how could her own blood hold any Cure?

"I'm sorry I was being so . . . I just, I thought . . ." Sadina felt like apologizing for the entire trip. They should have never left the island. "I'm sorry I was so mad. I just . . . I didn't want us to split up and now we are. Maybe forever."

"Stop. It won't be forever." Her mom squeezed her hand, but Sadina was old enough to know that sometimes parents said things that they hoped were true as if they were true. Or even if they knew they weren't. She looked over as Isaac hugged Dominic goodbye.

"You're going to leave me with Happy?" Dominic pulled on Isaac's shoulder as if to twist his arm into staying. Good thing Minho wasn't paying attention to them.

"You'll all be fine," Isaac replied. "And Happy isn't so bad. Try not to annoy him too much."

Sadina couldn't let her mom and Isaac just slip away down the coast. What if she never saw them again? "There has to be something the Godhead can do to help? You both should just come with us to Alaska. We can quarantine you on deck and create a makeshift—"

"We can't sail with that." Minho motioned to Sadina's mom's rash as if it were a bomb that might go off at any moment. "It's just not safe." His voice was just loud enough to circle the whole group back together.

"We could make it work," Miyoko said. "We should stick together."

Dominic piped in. "We've all been together and not quarantined this whole time and she's already been sick. What's another week or so?"

Minho shook his head and palmed his gun. "Things on the open water are different, the ocean makes every problem you have harder. The sick get sicker. The weak get weaker."

"Then we don't go on the ocean. We can stick together on land." This came from Trish. "We'll all go to the Villa, then." Sadina looked to Jackie for her to chime in, but she was sullen, silent. Old Man Frypan just looked down at the sand.

"I'm not going to the Villa," Orange said.

Minho nodded. "You all can decide what you're doing. Orange and I have business in Alaska and—"

"Me too, you're not getting rid of me that easily." Roxy elbowed Minho. "I'll miss you all but you have to do what's best for you." She motioned to Cowan and the islanders.

What even was best for them? Their mission got so mashed up after the kidnapping, and now with her mom being sick and the thought of losing Isaac, Sadina didn't know what would be best. She wanted to stay with her family, but all the other islanders had left their families to come help in some willy-nilly quest to find a cure. "We can figure it out . . . we just need to figure something out." She didn't know what the solution was, but she panicked at the thought of Isaac and her mom leaving the group.

Old Man Frypan stuck his walking stick deep in the sand. "Sadina's right, we should think this through. If something happens to Cowan, Isaac will be all alone. Not only that, but there's strength in numbers." Sadina thought about the trees and the forest as Frypan had described them. How they were more likely to survive storms when there were more of them in a group. They all needed to stick together.

"Yes, he's right," Sadina said aloud.

"At least one of us should go with them," Frypan continued, and Sadina felt the pain in her chest spread out further in all directions. "I'm volunteering to help make their group stronger. I've seen Isaac's fire-making skills and I know they'll be living off raw slugs if I don't go along." He was right—for a blacksmith apprentice, Isaac wasn't great at cooking fires.

But she couldn't take the thought of losing Old Man Frypan, too. Sadina felt as though all the pieces of her heart, all her favorite people were leaving her when she needed them the most. Except for Trish, who pulled at Sadina's hand and squeezed it. She'd still have Trish. She'd always have Trish. Sadina looked at her, deep into her eyes as if to say thank you and squeezed her hand back.

Frypan put his hand on Sadina's shoulders. "You know I'll miss you, kid." The look in his eye reminded Sadina of the promise he'd made not to step foot back in Alaska. His soul couldn't take the Alaskan adventure any more than her soul could take losing her mom, her best friend, and her mentor.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," she said through falling tears. Isaac's face had relaxed into relief, probably for having someone else join him—but Sadina couldn't hold her emotions in. She knew Frypan wasn't looking forward to Alaska, but she thought he'd do it for her. This whole journey was supposed to be to support her and now it felt like almost everyone she loved most was bailing.

Frypan hugged Sadina. "Maybe it's like the trees. Maybe it's me who can help your mom?" She squeezed him hard, hoping this wasn't the last time she'd ever see him. "I want you to have this." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his copy of The Book of Newt. "Read it. Keep it safe."

"But it's yours." She couldn't take his most prized possession. His only connection to his friends from the past. "No way. You need it to help you sleep."

"Nah. I got it all up here." Frypan tapped his head with his index finger. "And in here." He tapped his heart. He placed it in her hand and pressed his hands over hers. "I want you to have it in your heart, too."

Sadina held The Book of Newt, a copy written in Old Man Frypan's handwriting that chronicled the journals and last thoughts of her great uncle Newt. She doubted she'd ever held anything more precious and meaningful. "Thank you," she whispered as she hugged the dear old man again. Then she looked at Isaac and her mom. "We'll just all stick together, we have to. It doesn't make sense to split up like this." Anxiety filled her core.

"Whatever you decide, can we do it before sunset?" Minho asked impatiently.

Sadina's mom cleared her throat and everyone got quiet. Ms. Cowan was the elected official back home and island laws or not, the group still listened to her and respected her authority. "You're going to go to Alaska and meet the Godhead. You've still got big things to do, and I can't let myself get in the way of your destiny."

And with that, the anxiety in Sadina's stomach finally settled. Because deep down, the call to Alaska was just as strong as it had been the day they'd left the island. She felt it in the center of her bones. Her life had a purpose. She needed to help end the Flare for good.

She didn't know how.

The only thing she knew was where.

Alaska.

Orphans never had goodbyes.

And they certainly didn't have long goodbyes.

What Orphans did have was patience. Minho stood alone on the deck of the boat eating almonds from a nearby tree. No matter how long he observed the group below, he didn't understand the time it took to part ways. And why all the touching when the risk of infection lingered? Once Old Man Frypan announced he was staying behind, all the goodbyes and hugging started all over again. Minho thought about blowing the horn to get everyone's attention, but he thought that was something Dominic might do. Orphans had patience and Minho would be patient.

"Ready?" Orange joined him on the boat's deck.

"Just waiting for the rest of the crew." He tossed another almond in his mouth.

"Well, you called it," she said with raised eyebrows and a smile. Minho rarely saw her this impressed. At the same time, he wasn't sure what she meant. "The stock of food for seven people," she added. "You knew someone else was going to stay behind."

He shrugged. "Just a feeling." In truth, his feeling was that Sadina might stay behind. But she didn't. The Orphan named Minho still struggled to understand what family meant and how they behaved. Turns out he didn't understand the relationship between a daughter and her mother at all.

"What a crazy day, huh?" Roxy boarded the ship and joined them, leaning against the railing, looking at the islanders' long goodbyes below. "Gonna miss those three, especially Frypan's cooking."

"Your cooking is better than Frypan's. Maybe your nickname should have something to do with cooking, too.".

"Roxy is just fine." She laughed, "or Rox. My dad used to call me that."

Orange let out a noise that sounded like it came from a wild monkey. "What?" he asked her. Whatever she thought was so funny was only funny to her.

"I was just thinking, Rox sounds like rocks—like the potato rock I gave you to cook for breakfast. You really could make rocks taste good enough to eat!" Orange giggled again, so unlike her, and Roxy smiled. Minho felt a little jealous, wishing he could lighten up.

He handed Roxy some almonds while the islanders slowly started to board the ship. Dominic nodded at him and said something about being happy that Minho didn't quite make out but he nodded right back. A happy crew was a good crew.

Roxy leaned into Minho, "You don't have to ever worry about me getting sick or infected. I'd just end it all myself. I wouldn't put that on you."

"Don't say that!" he snapped before he could stop himself.

"You don't think a Cure is possible?" Orange asked.

"Oh hell, no. Don't you think if there was a Cure they'd have found it by now? Maybe 50 years ago?" She wrapped her arm around Orange's shoulders. "This is all we have: what's here and what's now." They both looked out at the ocean that awaited them.

Minho nodded. The here and now, that was something the Orphans could understand.

There was no past and there was no future in the Remnant Nation. Only the here and now. He looked up at the sun in the sky and wondered about the tide; they needed to set sail. He leaned over the railing and in his kindest tone possible, asked, "Can we hurry this up?" They were still waiting for Trish, Sadina, Miyoko, and Jackie.

Ms. Cowan waved from the shore. "Yes, he's right, we have to get on our way too. At least now with Frypan we'll have a better dinner." Ms. Cowan, Isaac, and Old Man Frypan separated to the left of the ship to allow everyone else to get on their way, and to Minho's surprise more hugging ensued. It was like an execution line but instead of bullets, Cowan, Isaac, and Frypan lined up for hugs from each one as they climbed the deck. At least the sick woman had her neck covered up. Minho watched closely as Trish reached for Sadina's hand and Sadina shook her touch away.

"You'll all be safe." He didn't know what else to say. He nodded a goodbye to Isaac, feeling like they had an understanding he'd never really experienced with anyone else. He turned to pull the anchor up and get the engine started, but a commotion erupted on deck.

"No! Please!" He turned around and half-expected to see Cowan dead on the sand and another change of plans, but there was no visible reason for any of the commotion. Who'd shouted?

Cowan, Isaac, and Frypan all looked up from shore with wide eyes. "What? What happened?" Minho held his gun tight to his chest and looked around the perimeter. Trees. Water. Sand. What the hell was it now?

Dominic was the one to explain. "Jackie's not coming. She can't take another boat ride. Barfed nearly twelve times a day on our way here and almost barfed now walking across the deck."

Minho watched as Jackie threw her pack off the boat to the dry sand. Trish stopped the girl and hugged her. "Are you sure? We'll all miss you."

"Sorry. I just can't. Land seems like a better option for me and I can help Isaac if any Cranks show up." She apologized for changing her mind, but Minho didn't understand all the sorry this and sorry that. Orphans never apologized.

Dominic went up to Jackie and wrapped her in a hug that looked like it hurt. Miyoko squeezed Jackie's arm. Minho didn't understand these things of holding onto someone when they wanted to be let go, and he watched in shock as Orange went over to hug Jackie, too.

He took a deep breath as Roxy followed suit.

Another goodbye would take another hour at least. He looked over at the sun's placement in the sky and then at the ship's deck that was now empty again.

It felt like a failure to stay another night, but in order for Minho to have a successful chance at sailing the boat, he needed all his senses, including sight. He couldn't wait around another hour for goodbyes and needed his crew alert to help with the journey.

"What do you think, son?" Roxy shouted up at Minho from below. "One last fire here, we'll catch some fish?"

His shoulders tensed before they relaxed. What choice did he have? "We'll set sail at first light." The islanders cheered as if Minho was a God that had just granted them their one wish. He never wanted to be like the Grief Bearers of the Remnant Nation who enforced rules just for pain. Rules just for rules. If he was going to join the Godhead, he needed to first understand the balance of power and people. His first lesson: People needed time.