16. Reed

16

REED

“GIRL AT THE ROCK SHOW” – BLINK-182

“ T hat song is so true,” Luna says as we venture back out into the crowd to enjoy the rest of the Red Lemons’ show.

“How so?” I prod, keeping my eyes peeled for Dunn.

“Lovers are so easy to find these days.”

I nod as we continue walking. Luna has the type of curves that drive men wild. So it doesn’t come as a huge surprise to hear her say this.

“But that’s not what you want?” I ask.

“I really just want a best friend. I’ve never really had a true best friend. Even when I was a little girl.” The light from one of the lamppost flickers off of her face with the hint of a mischievous grin. “Don’t get me wrong. The lovers part is fun, too.”

Our conversation naturally dissipates as we get closer to the stage, where the Red Lemons’ music and energy take us over. At one point, Violet in her Uma Thurman costume does the same twist dance she and I were doing outside the bathroom. Girl stole my moves.

I mean, not that I’m mad. She rocks it.

They end the show with their killer ’90s nostalgia tune, “Aikman in the Nineties.”

I’m a ’90s baby, so I don’t technically remember the Troy Aikman football era. But the tune rocks.

Aw, you could be my old-fashioned sugar baby

You give me some kisses and I’ll take my sugar to tea

We’ll buy ourselves a house, make some pretty babies

Read some books together, start our own library

Like the Great Plains wind, November blowin’

Like Facebook ’05, no ads showin’

Like Troy Aikman in the nineties, touchdown throwin’

We got a good thing goin’

We got a good thing goin’

Luna and I can’t help ourselves, and we start a dance movement in the crowd, sweating and thrashing. When they’re done, we both have huge smiles on our faces. And this isn’t even the main event.

“So you gonna give Zach Bryan a chance?” Luna jokes. “Even though you don’t like country?”

I shrug. “Let’s see what he’s got. I’m starting to come around.”

We roam a bit, still looking for Dunn. Our texts to him aren’t going through, which is not totally surprising since service is shit at the festival.

“Guess we’ll have to just enjoy Zach Bryan by ourselves,” Luna says.

“Why do you like him so much?”

She pauses for a moment as we walk to find a good position to see the stage. “I first heard his album American Heartbreak last winter, when I was going through a really tough moment in my life. That’s part of the reason I wanted to come with you guys when I heard you talking about him at the bar. I had, like, a spiritual experience with his songs. Kind of similar to how you feel about Red Lemons, I think. When I heard his music, for the first time in a long while, I felt like there was hope for me. Like Zach Bryan understood my pain. He went through something bad, too, and made it through. Embraced it, even. There was hope.”

“What moment was that? Your infamous breakup?”

She nods. “Something like that, yeah.”

“Something like that? What’s that mean?”

She shrugs and smiles slyly.

“No, Luna.”

“What do you mean, no?”

Maybe it’s the LSD, but I’m not letting this go anymore. I look her in the eyes. “I mean, you’re on this trip. You’ve asked a ton of questions about me, and I still feel like I barely know you. I don’t know anything about you. We just sang on stage with the Red Lemons, and I don’t even know your real name ! All I know is you came on this trip with a couple of crazy guys, and you’re reading The Body Keeps The Score. ”

Her demeanor changes. She stiffens up.

“If you don’t want to tell me, I guess that’s okay.” I sigh. “I’m just some stranger.”

“You’re not a stranger anymore.” She looks up in the sky for a moment. “I’ve been running from my past a little bit. I admit that. And yeah, I had a really traumatic breakup. I guess it broke me. I haven’t felt the same since.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“No.” She shakes her head, and a crooked grin crosses her mouth. She pokes her tongue out of her mouth sideways, playfully. “I’d rather talk about how you’re a full on rock star who just played at this festival.”

“ We’re rock stars,” I say, and I’m full on tripping at this point.

“No. You really are. You need to be out here. It’s your destiny.”

She taps my shoulder, and points to the full moon which is just rising into sight. Currently, it’s a red-orange orb.

Now, music is subjective to a degree. That’s where the old fifty million Elvis fans can’t be wrong comes from.

But the way Luna talks to me, I believe her.

I believe her .

And with that, I start to believe in me .

Her eyes glimmer, and she continues to look at me.

“You’ve got a story, Reed. And you’re a good singer and songwriter. If I don’t see you out here within a couple of years, I’m going to be pissed.”

I crack a smile.

It’s in this moment I have a full lightbulb go off.

Back in my regular life, I’m a nobody, really. Dunn is encouraging when he comes to town, but that’s once a year if I’m lucky. Samantha thinks of my music as a fun hobby, and Mason doesn’t think much of it at all.

“Thanks,” I croak out.

She shrugs. “It’s just a decision, really. What do you expect from life? Maybe your expectations are too low.”

“Low expectations keep me happy, though,” I spit out, without thinking.

Then something Dunn said pops in my mind.

I don’t chase happiness. I chase mission.

“We’ve only got one go-round on earth, in this situation, in these bodies,” Luna says, a little ominously. “So why would you hold back from doing what you really want?”

Just then, Zach Bryan walks out on stage, and the crowd noise becomes deafening.

“Less talk, more dance,” she yells in my ear as the band launches into ‘Open the Gate.’ “Just enjoy the music.”

And so I do. I don’t know what I was expecting for this show, for country music in general. Maybe it’s being with a southern crowd who really appreciates the style. But the more I think about it, and the more I vibe with the show, I realize that once when I was a kid, my dad told me “Country music is for saps .” I think I must have negated it from there on out.

I don’t catch every word, but the energy and the lyrics I do pick up—I’ve never seen anything like it. There are times when the crowd around me belts out entire songs; they love them so much.

I dance.

White-boy dancing, sure, but I do okay.

Nah, who am I kidding?

Luna and I form a little dance circle during a couple of the faster songs, and a crowd starts clapping around us.

I watch Luna’s long, dark hair sway across her face and her huge smile.

“Yeah, buddy!” someone yells from behind me. “Dance with the girl!”

He pushes me against her body, and we’re dancing.

“Holy shit, these guys were on stage with the Red Lemons!” someone else yells.

“Wait, they’re singers?” another says.

Suddenly we’re the stars of a little patch of grass that’s opened up among the sea of people. I grab Luna’s hand and spin her a few times, pulling her body into mine.

Girlfriend , a distant voice says in my head.

Is this fun or is this crossing a line?

But it’s hard to stop with the crowd egging us on.

Luna and I have a moment, our bodies pressed into each other, one hand on her hip and the other holding hers. Looking into her eyes, I feel like she’s letting me see her soul.

Then the crowd fills in our little circle, and the moment’s passed.

I need to call Sam , I think, suddenly, backing away.

I try to FaceTime her, right in the middle of everything, but the call goes to voicemail. Is my signal bad, or is her phone off? Who knows. I heave a deep sigh, put my phone in my pocket, and go back to vibing.

“Thanks for coming out tonight, y’all,” Zach says. “I hope you’re having a good time.”

He sings a couple of slower ballads, goes off stage, and then comes back out.

“‘All Night Revival’!” someone calls as the band launches into the next song.

I recognize it as the one we were all belting out last night with CC and the gang. I swear, everyone in the crowd—except me—knows every single word.

In the middle of the song, I feel an arm around my shoulder.

“Holy shit, I found you guys! What’s up, Henry!”

It’s Dunn, and he’s still with Randy the hotel clerk, who’s so drunk he’s swaying.

“This guy. This is the fucking guy! ” Randy yells, pointing to Dunn and then tapping him on the chest.

I laugh. Dunn has clearly worked his charms.

“You are the Red Lemons! I’m sorry I didn’t believe!”

“I told you, Randy!” Dunn yells. “Revival, baby!” He wraps his arms around Luna and me, coming between us as the song continues.

By the end, I’ve got the chorus memorized, too. And as I shout the words with the crowd, I get it. I get country music, I get Zach Bryan, I get the reason Dunn wanted me to ditch work so badly. I realize I’m finally following my bliss, and it feels amazing.

Who knows what tomorrow brings, but right now is perfect.

The last notes of the encore ring out, Zach Bryan thanks the crowd, and the stadium lights flash on.

“So what are we gonna do now?” Dunn asks.

I pull out my phone and check my Instagram DMs. There’s one from Henry.

“Guys, you want to do an afterparty with the Red Lemons?”

“Wait. Thought you are the Red Lemons,” Randy slurs.

I wave my hand. “Yeah, that’s what I mean. With the rest of the band.”

“Is the bear Catholic?” Dunn shouts. “Best night of my fucking life!”

I look over at Luna. “You down?”

Her expression is even, with just the hint of a smile. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

“You okay? I mean, this is a fucking amazing night!”

“I’m okay,” she assures me.

“Seems like you’re deep in thought.”

“No, not really.”