Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

PRESENT DAY

B eth scanned the packed pub, hoping to quickly find her sister, Sandy, and her husband, Ray. The last thing she wanted to do was attract some half-loaded guy determined to buy her a drink. Maybe they should have gone to The Bell. At least she would have known everyone, but that would have held too many memories. Waitresses hurried past her with trays of food. The smell of grilled hamburgers made her stomach rumble.

A hand on her shoulder startled her. What was happening to her? She'd become a bag of nerves.

‘Beth, sorry, are you okay?'

She turned to her sister, Sandy. She's immaculate as always , thought Beth, looking down at her own black slip dress that she always wore for these occasions. I ought to buy a new dress and get my roots done.

‘You're early,' Sandy said, kissing her and leaving the air fragranced with Chanel Chance. Beth couldn't remember the last time she wore perfume. Ben had bought her a bottle of Jo Malone's Grapefruit the last Christmas they'd spent together. The thought of wearing it made her feel sick.

‘No, you're late,' said Beth.

‘Sorry, my last client was late.'

‘Honestly, Sandy, your clients take advantage of you.'

‘I'm a caring counsellor,' said Sandy.

‘Where's Ray?'

‘He's running behind. You know how it is. He'll be here soon.'

The waiter took them to their table, where they ordered a bottle of Chardonnay while they waited for Ray.

‘Happy birthday, sis and here's to many more.'

They clinked glasses and drank. Sandy looked at Beth over the rim of her glass. ‘Beth, I know it's been a tough year, but we're all worried about you,' she said gently.

Beth lowered her eyes and fiddled with the salt pot. ‘You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine.'

Sandy watched as Beth topped up her glass. ‘You're drinking too much.'

Beth's head snapped up. ‘Is everyone counting my alcohol intake now?'

Sandy sighed. ‘Of course not. It's just that–'

‘I'm off duty,' said Beth. ‘So, you don't need to report to Lewis.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Well, someone told him I'd been drinking too much.'

There was a sharp intake of breath from Sandy. ‘It wasn't me, Beth. I wouldn't stoop that low.'

At that moment, the waitress stepped forward with menus. As soon as she'd left, Sandy leaned forward across the table. ‘I know it can't have been easy with Ben leaving you for another man.'

‘That's got nothing to do with it,' Beth retorted.

‘I know about the baby,' Sandy said softly.

Beth took a long swig of her wine and swallowed it down with her unshed tears. She wouldn't fucking cry.

‘Beth, you've got to let it go.'

‘Let it go?' Beth thundered. ‘They've got a fucking surrogate mother. Don't you think Ben's humiliated me enough, and you say, let it go? How fucking dare you. Don't you think I wanted kids? It's all right for you with your daughter. Can you imagine what it will feel like seeing him and Mark with their child?'

‘Beth, keep it down,' said Sandy, aware of the looks the other diners were giving them.

Beth felt a tightness in her neck. ‘Whose side are you on, Sandy?' she asked, trying to control her anger.

‘Beth, it's not a matter of sides.'

At that moment, Ray bounced happily towards them, a prettily wrapped present in his hand. ‘Sorry I'm late,' he said, kissing Sandy and hugging Beth.

‘You look knackered,' he said.

Beth sighed. ‘Don't start. I was woken at one this morning by the villagers at Longbridge over that bloody trail bike.'

‘I saw Leigh Moulson today. She's terrified about the whole thing. They can be nasty buggers on the Ludbrook Grove estate,' said Sandy, relieved to change the subject.

‘Her husband, Will, phoned me at two this morning. He is not the most pleasant man I've ever met.'

‘He's a bit of a rough diamond,' said Sandy. ‘This lad is from Ludbrook Grove, isn't he? Don't you know the social worker who deals with some of them?' she asked Ray.

Ray called over a waiter. ‘It's humid as hell out there. I'm parched. Did any of you alcoholics think of ordering a jug of water?'

It was a throwaway comment, but Beth blushed as she felt Sandy's eyes on her.

‘Not yet,' said Beth.

‘You're ignoring my question, Ray,' persisted Sandy.

‘You know I can't discuss things like that,' he said, as he studied the menu.

Then Beth's phone rang, and for one awful moment, they were all thrown back to that evening a year ago when Tom Miller had phoned her to say a woman had been attacked in the village. They'd been celebrating Sandy's birthday just as they were doing now.

‘Blimey, we're not even on to pudding yet,' said Ray. ‘This is a bit déjà vu.'

No one spoke, and Ray realised his mistake immediately.

‘Thoughtless as ever,' muttered Sandy.

‘It's okay,' said Beth.

Ray poured wine into his glass. ‘Sorry,' he said.

Beth glanced at the screen; the caller was Tom Miller. Ray was right, déjà vu or what?

‘I need to take this,' said Beth.

No one commented as she got up from the table and made her way to the exit. The muggy air was a shock after the restaurant's air conditioning.

‘Hello,' she said.

‘Beth?'

The sound of his voice took her right back to a year ago when they'd first met. It had been even hotter then. Beth remembered she'd had a hangover. There had been a leaving party the night before, and to top it all off, some idiot had parked in her spot in the station's car park.

‘Okay, which one of you wankers parked in my space?' she'd demanded, and then she'd seen him.

‘I think the wanker might be me,' he'd said.

She'd always known he was handsome, but his looks had left her breathless.

‘Hi,' she said.

‘I got your text.'

Shit, she was sure she had deleted it. ‘Oh, I thought I'd deleted it.'

‘Clearly too late,' she heard the smile in his voice and pictured him in her mind.

‘The chief told me,' she said. There was silence for a few seconds.

‘He said you're having a hard time.'

‘I'm not,' she said defensively. ‘He had no right to tell you that.'

‘You were there for me, Beth.'

Don't cry , she thought, don't you dare fucking cry. ‘Anyway, he's the chief,' she said.

Before he could speak, she said quickly, ‘I have to dash. I'm out with my sister. It's her birthday.'

‘I know. Wish Sandy a happy birthday from me. I'll see you soon.'

‘Yeah,' she said flippantly, not wanting him to hear the emotion in her voice and hung up.

Shit, she didn't ask when he was coming. She managed to keep the tears under control until she reached the ladies' loo, and then she let them flow freely.

‘Sod it,' she muttered and wondered again, when did this become her life? There was a time when she was an ecstatically happy married woman whose thoughts were on a future family until the day her husband told her he loved someone else and that someone else was a man. Now, he would have the family she'd always dreamed of, but not with her. Some fucking anniversary this was.