Chapter 13

Callum refused to be deterred. He would see Emily today, no matter how many times he had to call upon her. Hell, he’d camp on her front doorstep if need be. Talking to her was the only way forward.

Having her butler inform him that she wasn’t in yesterday evening, had been like a slap to the face. He’d known she was there. He’d seen her bonnet and gloves on the foyer table behind the butler. Which meant she’d refused to see him.

Callum could only think of one reason why this might be. She had arrived at the part of Seductive Scandal he’d written.

He cursed himself for the millionth time for putting those references to their relationship in there. How stupid he’d been, yet at the time, he’d not really cared if Emily read it or not. Whether she took offense hadn’t mattered back then.

Now was a very different story.

He wanted her in his life and for that to still happen, he’d have to apologize, explain, and grovel. Callum was prepared to do all three. He’d stopped by the hothouse to purchase a massive bouquet of flowers during his walk to Rosemont House. Anyone who saw him would know he was desperate.

Upon reaching his destination, Callum took a deep breath in an effort to slow his racing heart and calm his nerves. Never before had he been made to rely so completely on saying the right words. It was imperative he get it right when he saw her. Somehow, he had to make her believe in him. In them.

Deciding he’d never be ready to face what awaited beyond the Rosemont front door, he forced his feet forward and gave the knocker three solid raps. At just after two in the afternoon, he’d arrived within acceptable calling hours. Hopefully someone would be here and he would be granted entry.

Callum just hoped he wouldn’t end up in the parlor with Emily’s father.

The door was opened by the butler who gave him a very acerbic look. “Yes?”

“I’ve come to call on Lady Emily,” Callum said while attempting to stop his bouquet from pushing against the butler. “Will you please let her know the Duke of Stratton is here?”

Of course the man knew who he was, but Callum believed the mention of his formidable title might lend the kind of weight that would ensure he met with success.

He could not have been more wrong.

The butler didn’t budge. “I regret to inform you that Lady Emily isn’t at home.”

“That’s what you told me last night.”

“And the same is true now, Your Grace. I’ll be happy to relay a message on your behalf.”

“Thank you, but I’d rather speak with her in person.”

“In that case, I would suggest you return at a later date. If you’ll excuse me.”

The door started to close. Callum stepped forward and used his foot to block it. The butler raised a questioning brow, looking extremely critical of this complete lack of manners. Callum gave him a hard scowl.

“What about the Earl and Countess of Rosemont? Are either of them home? For if they are, I’d like to see them instead.”

“No,” said the butler. “They are not at home either. The entire family is out.”

“Do you know when they are expected back?”

“I do not.” The butler pushed at the door, squeezing Callum’s foot. “Your Grace, I believe you’re coming dangerously close to overstaying your welcome.”

“Lady Emily is my betrothed,” Callum told the blasted gatekeeper. “I merely wish to know if she is well.”

“I cannot say.” The butler kept pushing.

“Oh, for the love of all that’s holy,” Callum shouted in a display that lacked all decorum. “I can’t leave as long as my foot’s stuck. You’ll have to open the door.”

The butler glared at him but eased the door open. Callum thrust the bouquet of flowers at him. “Please make sure these are placed in water and that Lady Emily receives them. I’ll see you later when I call upon her again.”

“No need to do so today,” the butler said, his exasperation with Callum finally cracking his flawless veneer. “I don’t know when she’ll return, but it shan’t be tonight. Good day, Your Grace.”

The door slammed shut, though not before Callum was able to notice something important. It shocked him that he’d not seen it sooner, but he supposed the butler had hindered his view. Additionally, his purpose in coming had kept his attention upon his goal. But as the door closed and the butler stepped sideways, Callum had noted the black crepe adorning the foyer.

His mind raced. Lady Seaton must have died between yesterday and today, which certainly explained why none of the Rosemonts were at home. Still standing on the pavement in front of their house, he glanced around, unsure of what to do next.

He knew what he wanted to do, and that was to comfort the woman he loved.

Because yes, he did love her, didn’t he? What point was there in denying it when every breath he took was with her in mind. Her grandmama was gone and if Callum was brave – if he truly wanted to prove his feelings for her trumped all else – he’d go to her and offer the reassurance she needed.

Intent on ignoring the fear of having her turn him away, Callum returned home at a near run.

He entered the foyer and tossed his gloves to his butler, calling to him as he started upstairs, “I need my horse saddled this instant.”

“What’s going on?” Peter asked. He’d arrived in Callum’s bedchamber while Callum shoved clothes into a satchel.

“Lady Emily’s grandmama…” Callum froze in the midst of the turmoil and stared at Peter. He’d been about to tell him the truth, but what if the news only served to remind him of his own loss? “Umm…”

“Did she die?” Peter asked.

Callum sagged against his dresser. “Yes. Unfortunately so.”

Peter nodded. “Then you should probably go and give her a hug the way you did me. It’ll make her feel less alone.”

The comment speared Callum’s heart. His eyes began stinging. Not once had he believed the affection he’d shown toward Peter when he’d arrived to collect him had made any impact. How wrong he’d been.

Callum crossed to where the boy stood and pulled him into his arms. “That’s my intention.”

He dropped a kiss on top of the boy’s head and set him aside so he could finish his packing. He told him goodbye shortly after and went to collect his horse from the mews.

The journey to Seaton Hall didn’t take long since he wasn’t hampered by a carriage. He arrived there in under an hour.

“Your Grace,” said the butler, recognizing Callum from his visit the previous day. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“I know, but when I heard what had happened I realized I needed to be here.” He met the man’s gaze and held it, relieved to find the look he received in return more welcoming than the Rosemont House butler’s. “If it’s no inconvenience, I’d like to convey my condolences to Lady Emily and her parents, as well as to the viscount.”

“Of course. I’ll see if they are accepting calls.”

The butler left and Callum braced himself against the nearest wall. His hands were trembling. Knowing what was to come had his stomach twisted into all kinds of knots. He’d never been so damn nervous. Not even during that first fated dance with Emily.

This was worse. Much worse. One wrong word and he’d ruin everything.

Get a hold of yourself.

He straightened, squared his shoulders, and clasped his hands behind his back. Footsteps warned of the butler’s return.

“I am to show you to the parlor,” he said and gestured toward the room where Callum had met Viscount Seaton the previous day.

Callum entered the comfortable space. With no one else present, he crossed to the fireplace where several porcelain figures stood on display. He admired them all before going to look at the clock collection that sat on a nearby table.

“Grandpapa has always loved clockwork.” Emily’s hushed words prompted Callum to turn. “Grandmama gifted him most of those.”

The defeated look on her face nearly slayed him. He went to her without caring if she was angry with him or if she might want to end their engagement. All that mattered right now was easing her suffering. The rest could wait until later.

So he pulled her into his arms and embraced her, hugging her close while she wept.

“Shh…” His hand swept up and down her spine in long soothing strokes. “You’re not alone. I’m here. I’ll always be here if you need me.”

“It’s so unfair,” Emily cried. “She wasn’t even that old.”

“I know, sweetness, but she’s with God now and at peace. Try to find strength in that.”

A sob was all he heard in response to his words, so he simply held on and guided her through the worst of the storm until it faded. She gulped a few times, sniffed a little, and pressed her forehead against his chest while clutching at his lapels. A deep inhalation followed before she finally took a step back.

She swiped her eyes with the back of her hand, but the effort did little to stop the tears from flowing.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was raw. “How did you know to come?”

“I guessed what had happened when I came to call upon you and saw your foyer decked in black crepe.”

“Of course.” Her attention went to the window and for a second it seemed like something had drawn her attention. Until Callum noted the faraway look in her eyes. It appeared she wasn’t really present.

He wasn’t surprised. She’d been dealt a terrible shock.

Reaching out, he caught her hand and she turned, her gaze dropping toward the spot where he held her. “There’s a great deal I’d like to tell you, but right now I simply want you to know that I’ve come to offer whatever support you might need.”

“I read what you wrote,” she told him without raising her gaze. “I’m the Lady Librarian.”

Callum’s gut spun and a cold chill swept down his spine, but he fought his way past it. “I know. I realize I’m not supposed to, but I found out yesterday. That’s why I called on you last evening, because I thought you might have read it, and I understand if it changes the way you feel about me.”

“It made me doubt everything you and I have shared these past weeks, but your showing up here speaks volumes. I’m glad you came.”

So was he. It would, he hoped, grant him the chance to make himself heard. He squeezed her hand.

“Will you be staying?” she asked, her gaze finally finding his.

He nodded. “As long as it takes.”

“I’ll speak with you later then.” The words were barely more than a croak.

Callum drew her back into his arms and hugged her once more before letting her go.

It took a long time before she returned and when she did, she wasn’t alone.